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+--- Forum: Men's Journals (https://subliminal-talk.com/Forum-Men-s-Journals)
+--- Thread: Sean's AM Journal (/Thread-Sean-s-AM-Journal)
RE: Sean's AM Journal - Tiesto - 10-23-2012
(10-23-2012, 07:56 AM)Sean Wrote: That's awesome. It seems that the ladies will have to wait a little longer before discovering my awesomeness.
Looks like I might follow in your footstep.
RE: Sean's AM Journal - massagemaggie - 10-23-2012
(10-23-2012, 07:56 AM)Sean Wrote: ......It seems that the ladies will have to wait a little longer before discovering my awesomeness.
poor things!
RE: Sean's AM Journal - Sean - 10-23-2012
(10-23-2012, 09:53 AM)massagemaggie Wrote:(10-23-2012, 07:56 AM)Sean Wrote: ......It seems that the ladies will have to wait a little longer before discovering my awesomeness.
poor things!
I'm sure they'll find a way to survive without basking in the glow of my majestic presence!
RE: Sean's AM Journal - rayrocanaldo - 10-23-2012
(10-23-2012, 10:45 AM)Sean Wrote:(10-23-2012, 09:53 AM)massagemaggie Wrote:(10-23-2012, 07:56 AM)Sean Wrote: ......It seems that the ladies will have to wait a little longer before discovering my awesomeness.
poor things!
I'm sure they'll find a way to survive without basking in the glow of my majestic presence!
Hold your scepter HIGH when you get back to them !
Stage 3 is Amazing - Sean - 10-23-2012
I think I'm 18 days into Stage 3, give or take a day. My behavior in today's team meeting was eye-opening for me.
We've been going around and around with our outsourcing partner for years. They're paid on T&M, which disincentivizes creating any efficiencies. Efficient means less time, which means less revenue. My colleague mentioned being in meetings with them again, requesting that they do their job. I usually let these things slide, but today I spoke up:
"Bob, we've been doing this dance for at least two years. What are we doing differently this time to achieve some measure of success?" There was a protracted debate on what we're doing to move them along, and after some colorful metaphors (all polite and things I'd say in front of small children with no qualms) I gave up. I said, "Then the inmates are running the asylum. Let's move on to the next topic."
Later, my boss tried his usually bullying tactics on me. He is nominally charged with governing the outsourcer, and I don't think he liked my forward comments during the meeting. During the roundtable, when called, I announced that I had said what I needed to say during the erlier discussion. He tried to pin me down on an email he'd sent a few hours before, and I used his own tactics against him: I interrupted his question and provided the information he wanted. That disarmed, he tried with another question on a different topic where he thought he could nail me. I interrupted again, answering his question satisfactorily. All he could say was, "Ah... good."
This is a huge contrast to my behavior six months ago, when I mostly tried to get through these meetings without being noticed, much less challenging someone on asinine behavior. I even called out my boss's BS during the discussion when he was trying to evade answering a question posed by one of my other colleagues on what's going on with the outsourcer.
I brought some strong alpha qualities to that meeting, and I feel like a million bucks for it. HOORAW!
RE: Sean's AM Journal - Benjamin - 10-23-2012
Hahaha i'm just laughing at the previous comments
As for the meeting, very good. Glad your noticing the changes. I don't know how I would go working in an office. The good thing about the job I had (security) was that we basically run things, the boss would back us up. Of course he would ask us to do some stuff and occasionally I had an argument with him, but it was much better than bosses in other environments i've had.
-Ben
Dreams - Sean - 10-25-2012
I had intense dreams last night.
I remember being a passenger in a small plane, with a seat-of-her-pants pilot landing us on a snowy field to have dinner at some local Inuit cafe. There was at least one other passenger, but I don't remember who it was.
The airport turned out to be warm and arid, with no snow to be seen anywhere, but lots of people and buildings.
Then I was working in a huge warehouse which was also a theater, where I kept screwing up as a worker, breaking ladders while trying to measure the height of the ceiling with two nincompoops who were trying to stack dowels end-to-end to measure the height.
After leaving the warehouse, I went to a location that dynamically shifted between a stereotypical movie director "spot" on-set and a deck with a patio table and chairs, where my family was eating dinner. I had to go get something, but my shortest path was blocked by wasps, so I had to go around the deck to the other side.
After this, I was headed underground, following a very narrow set of steps which required contortions to squeeze myself along. Right next to me was a perfectly open and easy to walk hallway, and the ugly-but-attracted-to-me women from my past kept walking along it, making lewd comments about my body while I'm trying to move along this difficult path.
Finally, I get down to the kitchen, where three women are working on very simple snacks. It was reminiscent of Hospitality at conventions where I used to work. They would provide basic food for staff workers. In this case, the three women were competing for my attention, and again, thoroughly unattractive.
After extricating myself from them, I worked my way further downstairs to the area where boxes were stored, and then the dream ended, because my alarm went off.
Self-censorship reduced - Sean - 10-25-2012
My life is full of examples of self-censorship, not speaking up when I had something to contribute, or to call foul when I saw something wrong.
Stage 3 appears to have removed that, and replaced it with something that works better for me. I'm no longer inhibited from making an impassioned argument supporting my position on something. I've no respect for anyone's sacred cows, questioning the wisdom of uncritically-accepted norms.
The way we do business is one example, above, where I made the argument during our team meeting. Another was where I pushed back on my boss yesterday, requiring him to write a stronger rejection of a request made by a project manager. In my evaluation of the PM's request, which is part of my job, the paraphrase looks like this, "It would be unconscionable to allow them access to our resources and begin work before the contract is signed." The boss followed my recommendation, but his reply was uncharacteristically weak, asking the PM to resubmit with a better plan. I told him I needed a stronger rejection, and he gave me something that was a smidge better, but insufficient. So I told the PM his request was impossible, and to do 'x' and 'y' to achieve his goals. I've found that our outsourced PM's require a firm hand, and I'm completely uninhibited from giving them this.
The lack of self-censorship comes with a good delivery mechanism: I'm not delivering these arguments like a sailor, but more like a good businessman. I admire and take pride in this result, because it is this grace that delivers the message successfully. The arguments are delivered like the moves of a fencer, rather than crude force of a wrecking ball.
Well done, Shannon. I did not expect this level of refinement to be present so quickly.
RE: Sean's AM Journal - Tiesto - 10-25-2012
Great progress Sean!
RE: Sean's AM Journal - Aram - 10-25-2012
Hey Sean. My life was the same, full of self-censorship. I remember very clearly that when I first ran AM 2011 at Stage 3, something changed. I would think about saying something, but then doubts would come up (as they always did) but this time instead of keeping it to myself I was literally FORCED by my mind to say it anyway. Like I couldn't keep it in...I HAD to say it if it was something I wanted to say.
You are making good progress. Good luck on your journey :-)
RE: Sean's AM Journal - Sean - 10-25-2012
I just realized something interesting. Where I work, there's a woman who falls into what I call the Formerly Hot category. She looks like Christine Baranski circa 1995, dresses attractively, and is either extensively made up or not at all. She's also nuttier than squirrel poop.
When she first started, I was unaware of her psychological issues. I became attracted in a very beta way, and as her neuroses came to light, I didn't have any critical evaluation of my attraction: it was very immature, and the thoughts were carnal, disregarding the pain and agony of a relationship with a nutbar outside the bedroom, not to mention the workplace.
A buddy and I discussed this, and have a mutual assistance pact to help prevent that disaster, since he was similarly attracted. We predicted, with a great deal of confidence, that a romp with her would result in consequences beyond all proportion. She overshares a lot, and every overshare has supported our conclusion like bedrock.
Today is a fully-done day, with a sweater dress, leggings, and really tall heels. What I noticed is that while I thoroughly appreciate the momentary visual uplift of an attractive woman dressed attractively, there's a sublime something that keeps it from going to a place of attraction. There's a realization of the complete package, where I can say, "Sexy look, not interested." It reminds me of David Deida's [u]Way of the Superior Man[/i] describing enjoying a beautiful woman walking by, where you allow it to refresh you without becoming interested, or allowing it to derail your thoughts.
RE: Sean's AM Journal - Shannon - 10-25-2012
That is the alpha speaking. It is similar to the superior mind being able to entertain an idea without accepting it.
RE: Sean's AM Journal - Sean - 10-26-2012
It would appear the body odor is related to things other than AM. My alpha is coming WAY up during Stage 3, and I had a couple cheeseburgers last weekend. My BO has been strong and acrid in the week since then.
RE: Sean's AM Journal - rayrocanaldo - 10-27-2012
Alpha male is really taking you to the next level. Nice progress Sean.