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+--- Thread: The OSC Experience (/Thread-The-OSC-Experience)
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The OSC Experience - Just Saiyan - 03-31-2025
I have done many programs over several years and don’t feel like I’ve achieved the goals on any of them. I think there was always some major resistance to getting to the goals. I have spent the last 10 years or so intensely working on myself. There has been some kind of emotional/energy blockage that I mainly feel in my head and spine. I’ve done many different things to work on it. Some things feel like they help to slowly unwind and open up the sensations and a few times I have experienced almost instant opening of the energy flow and with that a total change in my emotions and experience of life. These have always been short experiences and then things go back to feeling stuck and shut down. Most things I’ve tried feel like they’re tinkering around the edges of the issue and aren’t getting to the core of solving it.
I have a couple weeks left of my run through of OSC. During this time I have had some really challenging experiences that I don’t directly attribute to running the program and as a result I have gone through a whole range of painful emotions. Since the beginning I can sometimes feel energy sensations in the areas that feel stuck while I’m playing the program. Sometimes I can feel some movement in my head, sometimes it feels like something is drilling down my spine.
About a week and a half ago I felt like I should stop and switch to OGSF because it would more directly address the underlying problem. I decided to keep going. I went through an absolutely brutal week. I had some of the most negative thoughts going through my head constantly. I felt like my life would never get better and I would never achieve any of the things I want. I felt like I’m not cut out for the kind of struggles I’m facing. The sensations I was getting were almost unbearable. It felt like my spine was being crushed and exploding at the same time, like some kind of struggle between contraction and expansion. At times I felt like I needed to scream and move like I needed to wriggle something out from my spinal cord. I was humming and growling and almost screaming as these seemed to help get some energy moving. I felt like a huge cry was building but wouldn’t come out. When I thought of how I would explain what I was feeling to someone else, the words “I feel like I’m dying” kept coming up, even thought I didn’t really consciously think that was what was happening. The other thing that I thought of to describe it was that it was like an ego death, but the ego was the part of me that believes I’m a piece of shit and that part needs to die off before I can feel good about myself. This is also coinciding with some pain in my gums that I feel could be somewhat related. My understanding is that energy meridians run through each tooth and I don’t think it’s unrelated that with the intense energy work happening that my teeth and gums are flaring up.
2 nights ago before I played the program I hummed and moved and some crying came out. Then I played the program and I cried some more while listening. The next day I felt lighter. The sensations were not so unbearable and I had some more open and expansive sensations at times. Today it was back to not feeling great about myself and some uncomfortable energy sensations but nowhere near as bad as before.
I will stick with this until at least the end of the full 2 months and see where I’m at then.
RE: The OSC Experience - Johannesbrst - 03-31-2025
(03-31-2025, 02:47 AM)Just Saiyan Wrote: I had some of the most negative thoughts going through my head constantly. I felt like my life would never get better and I would never achieve any of the things I want.
Can relate to this. I think it's an transitory feeling that is triggering some deep seated beliefs about our own ability. Keep on going, you got this!
RE: The OSC Experience - Shannon - 04-01-2025
My experience was that I was basically dragged to the issue and forced to deal with it, no matter how uncomfortable it was. It got pretty hard that last day, but from there things improved rapidly. If you keep going, OSC will get you through, but it won't be necessarily a fun or easy ride, as you have seen.
EHPRA (not built in 6G yet) and OGSF v3 both have scripting to make the painful parts much easier to bear. If you can handle it, definitely finish the run through. I would suggest OGSF v3 then.
RE: The OSC Experience - Just Saiyan - 04-16-2025
I’m past the 2 month mark now. I will likely keep going on this program for a while to see if I will break through whatever is in the way.
After the really intense week things got less difficult (not feeling good, just not as bad) for a while. Then in the last week or so the intensity ratcheted up again. I was feeling like I had a part of me screaming in the background at all times. I was silent but it’s like a voice in my head was a full blast primal scream whenever I wasn’t thinking about something else. There were intense sensations in my head and spine again though probably not as intense as before at the worst. I had a day or two of feeling like I needed to let out something big. A few nights ago I was alternating between deep growling and sobbing without much tears. After that the intensity has lowered again but I still feel awful overall.
I have also again had really bad tooth pain coinciding with the most intense emotional peak. It flared up for the first time in the first big emotional peak then got better then flared up again with the second peak and has eased again the last couple of days. I also have skin breakouts of eczema and hives that I recognize as coming from stress. I got both of those in previous stressful periods.
I have very negative thoughts about myself. If I had to put into words what I’m feeling it’s that I hate myself. I feel weird even saying that but I think that’s what it is. There’s at least a part of me that feels that. I don’t know if that’s the root of the issue or if that’s just the way the negative feelings I’m having are being expressed right now.
The program is obviously hitting at some of the deepest core issues. I feel like I’ve already put over 2 months into this program so even if it sucks to go though it, if 6g is capable of helping me get through this then sticking with this program is probably my fastest route to getting there. I can deal with the discomfort if getting to the other side of it is a possibility and I wouldn’t be doing this if I didn’t think it was.
RE: The OSC Experience - Shannon - 04-22-2025
With programs that aren't designed to work you through emotional issues, it can be a rough ride. You might consider running something that is designed for that, like OGSF or EHPRA (when it comes out in 6G). Those will not end up in self confidence, but they would very likely be working you through all this a lot less uncomfortably.
RE: The OSC Experience - Just Saiyan - 06-12-2025
I’m now over 4 months on the program. Since the last update over a month ago, I have continued on the very difficult emotional ride. I attended a training where I’m learning to practice emotional healing work and part of it is going through our own healing process. From what I remember, these are the themes that came up for me. I hate myself. I’m weird. There’s something wrong with me. I don’t fit in or belong anywhere. People will eventually see the real me, which they won’t like and they’ll leave. Fear of being seen by others. Feeling like I’m unattractive. Fear of showing attraction to women. I basically screamed, cried, shook, and otherwise dramatically processed through these emotions and at least partially released something for all of them. I also had a moment of facing that I have to build my own life and there was a lot of grief about things in the past and anxiety about the future and I had some kind of breakthrough into something positive in the theme of expressing myself and yelling I AM (name) over and over and with that a major rush of energy and emotion.
After that week I felt like I had noticeably more physical energy freed up than before and I was able to start some more self care practices that I didn’t have the energy to do before. I felt fairly decent for about a week afterwards and then I went back into working through some deep issues.
Then in a strange synchronous serious of events I ended up seeing my first gf who I never really got over. She didn’t see me. I see her periodically and it always seems like I get a glimpse of her to test whether I’m over her yet or if there’s more work to do. There is definitely more work to do. It brought up some really intense emotions that have been stuck for years. A couple days after that I hit another peak of the emotional waves. I felt like I have basically lived a pathetic life. I cried. Next day felt much less painful.
With the newly freed up energy I’m doing things that seem to be freeing up even more energy. Some exercises that open the energy channels, breathwork, getting sun every day. The last few days I have felt physically better than I have in a long time. I think the sunshine is especially helping. I also have a number of things that have come into my awareness lately that may be useful pieces of the puzzle of sorting myself out.
The latest thing coming up is the thought that women are disgusted and repulsed by weak men and I don’t want to be weak anymore.
I don’t feel like the program is digging so much into the my spine and head in painful ways like it was early on. I don’t know if this is because I have cleared more of those energies or if I’m resisting less now. I do still have some skin rashes connected to stress.
Even though I don’t feel like I’m any more confident yet, I will likely stay on this program for a while longer, as it seems to be digging in the places I need work on, painful as those are, and I still am hopeful of breaking through to confidence. I also can’t really afford any other programs right now.
RE: The OSC Experience - Johannesbrst - 06-12-2025
(06-12-2025, 01:50 AM)Just Saiyan Wrote: I’m now over 4 months on the program. Since the last update over a month ago, I have continued on the very difficult emotional ride. I attended a training where I’m learning to practice emotional healing work and part of it is going through our own healing process. From what I remember, these are the themes that came up for me. I hate myself. I’m weird. There’s something wrong with me. I don’t fit in or belong anywhere. People will eventually see the real me, which they won’t like and they’ll leave. Fear of being seen by others. Feeling like I’m unattractive. Fear of showing attraction to women. I basically screamed, cried, shook, and otherwise dramatically processed through these emotions and at least partially released something for all of them. I also had a moment of facing that I have to build my own life and there was a lot of grief about things in the past and anxiety about the future and I had some kind of breakthrough into something positive in the theme of expressing myself and yelling I AM (name) over and over and with that a major rush of energy and emotion.
After that week I felt like I had noticeably more physical energy freed up than before and I was able to start some more self care practices that I didn’t have the energy to do before. I felt fairly decent for about a week afterwards and then I went back into working through some deep issues.
Then in a strange synchronous serious of events I ended up seeing my first gf who I never really got over. She didn’t see me. I see her periodically and it always seems like I get a glimpse of her to test whether I’m over her yet or if there’s more work to do. There is definitely more work to do. It brought up some really intense emotions that have been stuck for years. A couple days after that I hit another peak of the emotional waves. I felt like I have basically lived a pathetic life. I cried. Next day felt much less painful.
With the newly freed up energy I’m doing things that seem to be freeing up even more energy. Some exercises that open the energy channels, breathwork, getting sun every day. The last few days I have felt physically better than I have in a long time. I think the sunshine is especially helping. I also have a number of things that have come into my awareness lately that may be useful pieces of the puzzle of sorting myself out.
The latest thing coming up is the thought that women are disgusted and repulsed by weak men and I don’t want to be weak anymore.
I don’t feel like the program is digging so much into the my spine and head in painful ways like it was early on. I don’t know if this is because I have cleared more of those energies or if I’m resisting less now. I do still have some skin rashes connected to stress.
Even though I don’t feel like I’m any more confident yet, I will likely stay on this program for a while longer, as it seems to be digging in the places I need work on, painful as those are, and I still am hopeful of breaking through to confidence. I also can’t really afford any other programs right now.
Damn, that sounds intense. Good job to face all of those things, I know it’s not easy.
RE: The OSC Experience - Just Saiyan - 06-16-2025
(06-12-2025, 01:34 PM)Johannesbrst Wrote: Damn, that sounds intense. Good job to face all of those things, I know it’s not easy.
Thanks. I appreciate the encouragement.
Yesterday I started getting some positive sensations. I was thinking aboit a potential future that seems too good to be true but I was almost visualizing it and it felt like it was starting to open up my energy and heart. Later that night I felt sadness and was almost on the verge of crying. Today I had more of the heart opening feeing when I was thinking of the same scenario. I got very tired toward the end of the day. I got home and could feel tears coming up. I cried some and felt energy moving and release from my head. Now I feel very down. I feel like a loser and I feel regret about the past and how many years I’ve wasted and I don’t really like the way I am and I can’t see how I’m ever going to get to a place where I can achieve any of the things I want to.
I’m hoping this is the start of breaking through resistance and maybe this is an ebb and flow kind of thing going on. Maybe also the focusing on the happy future scenario brought up all the things that need to be cleared for that to ever be possible.
RE: The OSC Experience - Johannesbrst - 06-18-2025
(06-16-2025, 11:11 PM)Just Saiyan Wrote:(06-12-2025, 01:34 PM)Johannesbrst Wrote: Damn, that sounds intense. Good job to face all of those things, I know it’s not easy.
Thanks. I appreciate the encouragement.
Yesterday I started getting some positive sensations. I was thinking aboit a potential future that seems too good to be true but I was almost visualizing it and it felt like it was starting to open up my energy and heart. Later that night I felt sadness and was almost on the verge of crying. Today I had more of the heart opening feeing when I was thinking of the same scenario. I got very tired toward the end of the day. I got home and could feel tears coming up. I cried some and felt energy moving and release from my head. Now I feel very down. I feel like a loser and I feel regret about the past and how many years I’ve wasted and I don’t really like the way I am and I can’t see how I’m ever going to get to a place where I can achieve any of the things I want to.
I’m hoping this is the start of breaking through resistance and maybe this is an ebb and flow kind of thing going on. Maybe also the focusing on the happy future scenario brought up all the things that need to be cleared for that to ever be possible.
Can recommend a book by Neville Goddard called Feeling is the Secret and The Power of Awareness, regarding being able to open up your mind to new possibilities. Sounds like you're making progress!
RE: The OSC Experience - Just Saiyan - 06-24-2025
(06-18-2025, 12:47 AM)Johannesbrst Wrote: Can recommend a book by Neville Goddard called Feeling is the Secret and The Power of Awareness, regarding being able to open up your mind to new possibilities. Sounds like you're making progress!
Thanks. I haven’t read that but I’m somewhat familiar with Neville Goddard’s work. It does feel like I am now able to feel more of the emotion of having what I want when I focus on that thing. Before it was so blocked that I could rarely feel anything except the “block” itself.
The last several days I continued to focus on the happy future events I’ve been thinking about and I have been able to feel some positive emotions associated with them. It feels like this “universal” energy block that I’ve been working on for years is less now and it’s opening up my ability to feel other energy and emotions. Yesterday and today I have been swinging drastically from the budding positive feeling to extreme emotionally painful experiences. Last night I went through this whole experience related to themes of unworthiness, heartbreak, regret, forgiveness. Trembling and tears. Intense.
Today I was able to get back to some more of the positive feelings. Then I felt some deeper stuff well up. More of the unworthiness and thoughts of being totally alone in the world and deep longing. I did some exercises and moved and shook my body to let it move and eventually I cried out a huge layer of it. Now after all that I can feel more of the heart opening sensation. This is really hard, but I’m going to keep going. It reminds me of the saying “the only way out is through.” That’s where I’m at.
RE: The OSC Experience - Just Saiyan - 06-29-2025
I had a few more days with some positive feeings which usually are happening when I’m actively thinking about that happy future scenario. Then yesterday I felt major sadness, depression almost. Then a near panic attack. At night, it all burst out. I cried and shook for like half an hour. What was coming up was I feel alone. Then I felt anger coming up and like I needed to scream but I didn’t have the privacy to do that. I growled and hummed for a while but I got interrupted. Feels like there’s more to release. This was one of the rare times where, while I was going through it, I felt like I may never get past all this BS. The tears felt like they could go on forever and the pain could be never ending and it might be impossible to ever get better and live the life I want to. So I’ll just take it as I’m hitting some of the really deep issues and it will pass.
RE: The OSC Experience - Just Saiyan - 07-01-2025
Last night I cried for probably an hour. Then today at least a couple of hours. Shaking, teeth chattering, on the verge of screaming. Purging ancient heart break. Feels like there will be more to come.
RE: The OSC Experience - ncbeareatingman - 07-01-2025
(07-01-2025, 09:05 PM)Just Saiyan Wrote: Last night I cried for probably an hour. Then today at least a couple of hours. Shaking, teeth chattering, on the verge of screaming. Purging ancient heart break. Feels like there will be more to come.
Wow. I feel for Ya, Fella. Hang in there. This is the Path of the Brave Hearts. NO bullshit !!
good thoughts & vibes your way !!
RE: The OSC Experience - Just Saiyan - 07-14-2025
(07-01-2025, 09:20 PM)ncbeareatingman Wrote: Wow. I feel for Ya, Fella. Hang in there. This is the Path of the Brave Hearts. NO bullshit !!
good thoughts & vibes your way !!
Thank you. I appreciate the positivity and support you show around here.
I’m over 5 months into this now.
After those several days of massive release, things calmed down and I had at least 1 full day of feeling ok, not bad. Then more periods of crying, usually happening in the evening. I’m not feeling as much of the energetic opening sensations as I was a couple weeks ago. When I do feel that it’s only when I am imagining the happy future scenario I mentioned in previous post. The skin breakouts I was having are almost completely cleared up now.
These are some things I’ve thought recently. I feel like I’m unlikable. I feel like it would be hard for someone to be my friend or have close relationship with me because I’m closed off. I think I don’t make people feel good being around me because I don’t feel good about myself. I feel like I’m a burden on other people.
It’s amazing all the things standing in the way of just being confident. I think those same things have been holding me back in every area of my life so achieving the goals of this program will help across the board. I’m going to keep going until at least the 6 month mark.