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+--- Forum: Men's Journals (https://subliminal-talk.com/Forum-Men-s-Journals)
+--- Thread: Maverick Journal (/Thread-Maverick-Journal)
Maverick Journal - Johannesbrst - 10-07-2024
I bought Maverick soon after it came out because it spoke to a dream I have had inside me for a long time. This dream has come up from time to time, but I always found a way to avoid it. I would tell myself, "I'm not ready for this" or "I need to learn X before I can try that." These were just excuses, but coming from a place deep within that kept me from going straight into what I have been feeling that I want to pursue.
Even though I was excited after buying the program, I decided to use E6 first until I felt ready for Maverick, since my life at that time had some limits that made it hard to explore personal freedom. Now, almost a year and a half later, I finally feel stable and prepared enough to give it a try. Getting to this point is a success in itself because of all the growth I've done to reach a stable place.
Interestingly, around a month and a half ago, I started pursuing this dream. Could it be TID effects from Maverick, perhaps? I’ve started doing something I've wanted to do for years, and it just felt natural, like it was finally the right time.
Today, I'm happy to say I'm on my second loop of the program. I feel a bit nervous, but at the same time excited. I'll try to just keep on with daily life and not get to involved with what's happening, but rather take moments from time to time to reflect.
I think my journaling here will be pretty light, as I plan to keep a more detailed private journal. However, I'll share anything I think could be interesting here.
RE: Maverick Journal - Inconceivablezen - 10-07-2024
Congrats on starting this! Maverick is a beast and I'm very happy running it! Has given me great results. Looking forward to reading how you're doing!
RE: Maverick Journal - thectexperience1 - 10-08-2024
Looking forward to reading also. Congrats on your progress
RE: Maverick Journal - Benjamin - 10-17-2024
Good luck, always interesting to hear reports on Maverick.
RE: Maverick Journal - Johannesbrst - 11-06-2024
Short update:
- I'm kept in place of being aware of myself and my life. Even if I wanted to, I can't stick my head in the sand. I keep being aware of parts of myself I need to work on, being very honest toward myself.
- Keep focusing on healing, seems like Maverick help me focusing on this, while also at the same time keep moving forward in life.
- Feel more serious at work, taking pride in producing high quality output (without being an asshole about it) and being a valuable coworker.
- Focused on doing things that are intrinsically rewarding
RE: Maverick Journal - Johannesbrst - 12-08-2024
As I’ve passed the two-month mark of running Maverick, I thought I’d share a bit about my experience so far.
I’d like to start with something that happened just 20 minutes ago during my daily walk to work. I live in a larger city in a country with right-side traffic, which the overwhelming majority of people—if not everyone—follow, not just in vehicles but also as pedestrians. Sure, people sometimes pass on "the wrong side" for convenience, but when in doubt, you stick to the right.
As I was walking to work, thinking about writing a post here on the forum and wondering what I could share, I wasn’t sure I had anything specific to contribute. About ten minutes later, I was crossing a small bridge, staying to the far right of the sidewalk, enjoying my walk on this dark December morning. I noticed a woman, around my age, walking her dog in the opposite direction. She was sticking firmly to the far left of the sidewalk, heading straight toward me. As we got closer, neither of us deviated from our paths, and eventually, we stopped face to face. Sometimes this happens when people are preoccupied with their phones or lost in thought, but that wasn’t the case here.
She looked at me, and I looked back at her. I kept my gaze—not confrontational, just polite and a bit curious—trying to figure out what was going through her mind. After a moment, she scoffed, “SERIOUSLY?” (in English), before stepping around my left side and leaving with a loud “ASSHOLE!”. During the whole time I was more curious than on high-alert as I would usually have been.
This story may seem trivial to some of you, but for me, it was a clear example of a shift in my ability to face conflict and stand my ground when I feel justified in doing so. Symbolically, it also might be seen as my ability to keep walking my own path, even if others don’t agree with it. Not in a “My way or the highway” sense, but more of an “I’ll maintain my direction and collaborate with others as long as they’re also willing to cooperate and adapt to the norms we’ve agreed on” approach.
This brings me to the point that Maverick, as previous users have highlighted, is a deeply individual experience. My journey hasn’t mirrored any of the other Maverick journals I’ve read on the forum. While the end result may share similarities, the path to get there depends on where each of us starts. None of us has lived the exact same life; we each stand in different places in the landscape. Maverick offers a guiding star to follow, but the obstacles we face on the way towards it—whether they’re towering mountains or expansive lakes—will differ from person to person.
As others have noted, the experience feels highly “integrated,” tailored to my current challenges, motivations, and stage of life. It hasn’t pushed me to do anything I didn’t want to do. Instead, it’s helped me uncover what I truly want to do with my life. It has shown me that the excuses I’ve used to hold back from pursuing my goals are self-imposed limitations, not actual barriers. Maverick has helped me decide where I want to go, offering a steady hand to guide me firmly in that direction.
Soon 3 months - Johannesbrst - 12-22-2024
Running Maverick is still a bit of an opaque experience, but still interesting and one that keep on giving.
Overall it's very smooth, but it does feel like the steering wheels are coming off, bit by bit. You remember those racing games where you could make the computer do some of the breaking and steering for you? It's a bit like those settings slowly are turned off, and you are handed the controls.
Not faster than you can manage, but it's still an unfamiliar feeling if you have been thinking you have been smooth sailing all by yourself up until this point.
Well, you have in a way, but you have forgotten that the computer, your inner beliefs and subconscious, has been helping you out with a lot of stuff. And that is OK, but it's not driving for real.
When taking off the training-wheels, suddenly you are given awareness to make desicions that can seriously harm both yourself and others. Driving a racecar is dangerous and can be very serious, and so can the consequences of your actions be. So you learn to tread carefully.
This also means that you will not only learn to manage the driving, but also manage the driver, yourself. Because otherwise you wouldn't be given the controls for real. And this may bring up some painful stuff, but it's the only way for you to actually be the driver in control, without any training-wheels on yourself or the car you are driving.
But the nice thing here is that with the training-wheels gone, you are no longer restricted in ways you didn't notice before. Your actions, which you now can take with a fuller awareness, will become more potent and less clouded by automatic processes. It's a two edged sword, because it can cause more harm, but it can also cause more benefit.
Soon three months into this journey and so far it has been interesting, but subtle. After the 3 months i will take a 2-3 week long break from the sub to let it bloom according to @Duke.Togo s recommendation before starting the second 3-month period of the first runthrough of Maverick.
RE: Maverick Journal - Johannesbrst - 12-24-2024
I just had one of the most soul-crushing insights this morning, finally looking honestly at myself and the way I operate. So much that I have been doing in my life has originated from the wish to feel good about myself. My ideas to create a company, to become a successful musician, to get the attention from girls, so fucking much of it has come from the lack of self-acceptance. If I just can get this, or that, or do this, or become this person. Ironically, probably running Maverick itself came from this desire.
But I'm done. I'm officially done. I don't need to do anything or be anyone to feel good about myself. I will be radically self-accepting, and any thought or person to claims that I'm not good enough as I am can go fuck themselves. The decision to see if I'm good enough or not is solely, without any exception, up to me and only me.
So this hurts like a motherfucker, because suddenly the driving force behind everything I have been doing has showed itself with it's ugly face and showed that it was coming from a lack, trying to fill a void that will never be filled by this drive but has to be taken care of in other ways. Suddenly I need to reevaluate the way I look at myself. Suddenly I need to face those feelings of inadequacy, and meet them head on and deal with them, not resorting to imagining a future, going after an idea or a person that will keep those feelings at bay.
The feeling of contentment has to come from within, without any external indicators of any type of achievement that falsely can be translated to self-worth. No, the feeling in itself will generate the sense of self-worth, as this is an inherent right to each and every person, including myself, to feel good enough and to have the sense of worth.
So, as much as it goes against my instincts, I will, perhaps contradictory to what I believed Maverick would make me to, stop trying to achieve anything until this solid sense of self-worth is ever present in myself, without any dependence of who I am, what I do or whom I'm with. I will simply go to my job, do my hobbies, meet my friends, live my life and enjoy it while radically accepting that I'm good enough, without having to try to achieve this image of a superhuman I have in my mind, the person I have believe I need to become to finally give me the sense of feeling like I'm good enough. I'm done following this vision, this is the time to live in the present and deal with everything that I am and that I feel towards myself, right here, right now.
RE: Maverick Journal - Johannesbrst - 01-06-2025
Today.mqrks the 3 month mark of my Maverick journey and I will be taking a 3 week break now as recommended by @Duke.Togo
Maverick seems to keep me focused on healing the different levels of my energetic self, and I can see why this is important for me to achieve a state of my fullest potential. Having an energetic system that is in balance will give me the energy, presence and internal resources to support this potential. It is a fairly slow process but I'm making progress.
Even though I have days I don't feel at top, in general I feel more at ease and less stressful about the future, I'm more in the here and now and trust that opportunities will show when it's time as long as I keep working on myself and follow what feel right in the moment. That is nice.
At work i feel more assertive of my own ideas and driven to make them happen. I'm not afraid to take initiative and have implemented stuff and started discussions that has made impact on the clarity of direction of the whole company, which feels really nice. I have good relationships with people at work, have mutual respect for them I work with and I feel motivated and valued.
I've started to come back to feeling better about myself when interacting with girls, making it not so hard to take initiatives in that field as well. Have had some success in the field lately, nothing ground-breaking but it's still nice to get the validating feeling that others are attracted by you, sometimes you forget that when you haven't experienced it for a while.
I keep producing music which is my new hobby, and it's interesting to focus my attention on different levels of my energetic self when producing to see what kind of musical elements that cater to that energy level. As my energetic levels get more in balance I believe this will also become easier to do.
I also feel less defensive about my true emotions and more accepting of myself and whatever I experience. This had in turned helped me to grow closer relationships with my friends and made the relationships more honest and at ease.
Overall a good 3 months, and I feel motivated to keep using the program and it will be interesting to see how the next 3 weeks play out during a potential bloom period.