(12-14-2020, 11:24 AM)NOMAD Wrote: I've been playing with "becoming" lately and it is doing wonders for me on multiple levels. Whenever you have done down time,  try getting yourself into a meditative state then allow yourself to experience the scenario and the feelings that accompany the scenario you want to experience. You'll likely come face to face with your fears,  which is good.  Don't run. Don't fight it. Be in its presence without allowing it to consume you. Learn to coexist.  As the fear fades and as you're able, immerse yourself in the exact experience you long for. See it, feel  it, hear it, smell it, and taste it. The key is to allow it. Hopefully this exercise can help you. 

For what it's worth, I get depressed the day after Christmas every year. I think it's the buildup, then the sharp dropoff afterward.

Hang in there man.

(12-14-2020, 09:46 AM)Shannon Wrote: In the worst times in my life - and I have been in your shoes, although I didn't get legally married first - I made it through by remembering certain key things.

First, ALL things happen in cycles.  That means that change is inevitable, and THIS TOO SHALL PASS. If it's hard, it will get better if you stick it out.

Second, you have to remember that the future is, in large part and over time, largely what you make it.  There are things you cannot control, and times that things really suck, but with the right point of view, attitude and goals, you can achieve anything.

For the last 7 years, I have been basically getting crapped on by the cycles in play, and they don't even finish peaking until January 16th of 2021.  Fortunately, the fade out will be more quick than the fade in, and I should be able to recover in a couple years or less, but the key is that I know this will eventually pass, and for now I have to deal with it and "roll with the punches", as we say.  Nobody wants to hear about it, they don't experience it or don't know they're experiencing it, and they just think I'm making excuses and blathering.  But to be kept in a box for 7 years where all my efforts are fractionally effective if they work at all compared to what I know I can actually do, achieve and accomplish, is maddening.  

There have been times during this last 7 years that I couldn't get out of bed because I felt so hopeless and depressed, and a few times, I honestly contemplated suicide.  But I made it through because I knew that THIS TOO SHALL PASS, and you don't make a permanent response (suicide) to a temporary problem.  I also knew that if I was just stubborn enough, and I held on, it would change.  And it did, it does, it will.  When all this cycle crap everyone is dealing with (finances, pandemic, counties at each other, social tensions, etc.) is done, things will be different, and if we choose to make them so, they will be better.

So instead of worrying about what the future holds, do what you can to steer your ship to the future you want to experience, and even if the winds oppose you on the way, there are ways to get there regardless.  Pick the future you want to experience, and then do what it takes to get there, and never give up.  

Also, remember that old saying that "pressure makes diamonds".  When things get hard, and you want to cry and give up, just remember that the pressure you are experiencing is an OPPORTUNITY to make changes to yourself that make you better, stronger, and more successful in the future.  The good stuff makes things easy, and we don't grow much when it's easy.  It's the hard times that force us to grow, and that growth is what makes us better in the end.  Find a point of view that lets you turn these hardships into a means to a goal, and make yourself better through them.  Forged in fire!

I hope this helps.

(12-21-2020, 06:41 PM)Z-Man Wrote:

(12-14-2020, 09:46 AM)Shannon Wrote: In the worst times in my life - and I have been in your shoes, although I didn't get legally married first - I made it through by remembering certain key things.

First, ALL things happen in cycles.  That means that change is inevitable, and THIS TOO SHALL PASS. If it's hard, it will get better if you stick it out.

Second, you have to remember that the future is, in large part and over time, largely what you make it.  There are things you cannot control, and times that things really suck, but with the right point of view, attitude and goals, you can achieve anything.

For the last 7 years, I have been basically getting crapped on by the cycles in play, and they don't even finish peaking until January 16th of 2021.  Fortunately, the fade out will be more quick than the fade in, and I should be able to recover in a couple years or less, but the key is that I know this will eventually pass, and for now I have to deal with it and "roll with the punches", as we say.  Nobody wants to hear about it, they don't experience it or don't know they're experiencing it, and they just think I'm making excuses and blathering.  But to be kept in a box for 7 years where all my efforts are fractionally effective if they work at all compared to what I know I can actually do, achieve and accomplish, is maddening.  

There have been times during this last 7 years that I couldn't get out of bed because I felt so hopeless and depressed, and a few times, I honestly contemplated suicide.  But I made it through because I knew that THIS TOO SHALL PASS, and you don't make a permanent response (suicide) to a temporary problem.  I also knew that if I was just stubborn enough, and I held on, it would change.  And it did, it does, it will.  When all this cycle crap everyone is dealing with (finances, pandemic, counties at each other, social tensions, etc.) is done, things will be different, and if we choose to make them so, they will be better.

So instead of worrying about what the future holds, do what you can to steer your ship to the future you want to experience, and even if the winds oppose you on the way, there are ways to get there regardless.  Pick the future you want to experience, and then do what it takes to get there, and never give up.  

Also, remember that old saying that "pressure makes diamonds".  When things get hard, and you want to cry and give up, just remember that the pressure you are experiencing is an OPPORTUNITY to make changes to yourself that make you better, stronger, and more successful in the future.  The good stuff makes things easy, and we don't grow much when it's easy.  It's the hard times that force us to grow, and that growth is what makes us better in the end.  Find a point of view that lets you turn these hardships into a means to a goal, and make yourself better through them.  Forged in fire!

I hope this helps.

Shannon, I want to thank you so much for your kind words. " This too shall pass"

(12-28-2020, 05:23 PM)Shannon Wrote: What volume are you using? And what to play it?

(12-28-2020, 05:35 PM)Z-Man Wrote:

(12-28-2020, 05:23 PM)Shannon Wrote: What volume are you using? And what to play it?

I am using Samsung 5.0 MP3 player 28/30 volume thru stereo speakers.

(12-28-2020, 09:50 PM)Shannon Wrote:

(12-28-2020, 05:35 PM)Z-Man Wrote:

(12-28-2020, 05:23 PM)Shannon Wrote: What volume are you using? And what to play it?

I am using Samsung 5.0 MP3 player 28/30 volume thru stereo speakers.

Can you measure the volume at your ear using your cell phone running FrequenSee and see what it says?