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RE: Findingme's Universal Detox thread - findingme - 04-11-2018
I have been thinking about AM today, in how I handle myself, how I react, how I may allow others to manipulate me........and it felt good knowing myself better. When out of work, I went to the store, and I took responsibility for myself, which means I was tired and sweaty and in my work clothes, but I found moments to shine.
You see, I'd been tempted to stress since I allowed a business woman I know to direct my actions after work. I'd have gone home. But based on past incidents with her, I often take responsibility for her stress, like a kid would do, and I went to the store to pick something up she needed. I'm becoming more aware of this, yet I'm choosing to take part in our discussions instead of passively waiting on her to make me happy. That's very childish and very ineffective for myself. Doing the latter is strewn with resentments for me.
But I didn't react. Plans went south at the store, I quickly accepted it, but she wanted to demand her way. I ignored her and walked out. I even stood back and waited for people to come in the incoming doors, and I felt mature and good about myself. I found good in bad circumstances. And I didn't own the business woman's incredible stress. I can only own my own stuff. And I feel better making boundaries for myself. This was me succeeding in taking care of myself.
I look forward to AM. There will be challenges, for sure. I'm looking forward to it just the same.