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+--- Thread: Masculine Prime (Primal Masculinity 5.11g) (/Thread-Masculine-Prime-Primal-Masculinity-5-11g)
RE: Masculine Prime (Primal Masculinity 5.11g) - Benjamin - 03-14-2025
Ok so I went up to the higher amount, and started to feel overwhelmed. Then I noticed when it seemed to start executing again then I hate the urge to go back to 8 loops.
Today I had a feeling that I might need a little bit more so did another one through the day. But i'm also thinking maybe stuff was coming up a bit today as I had some 'space' and wasn't overwhelmed like I started to feel with 12 loops, like it was a bit too much. 8-9 loops is seeming okay at the moment. Most of the day I felt allright.
So I looked in my written journal as I record it daily, the pattern for about the last month, the times there is 2 numbers the first is at night the second is through the day.
15/2 off.
16/2 x8 x1.
17/2 x4 x1.
18/2 x4 x1.
19/2 x4 x1.
20/2 x4.
21/2 x8 x1.
22/2 off.
23/2 x10.
24/2 x8 x1.
25/2 x10 x1.
26/2 x9 x1.
27/2 off.
28/2 x4.
1/3 x8.
2/3 x10 x1.
3/3 x10.
4/3 x10 x1.
5/3 off.
6/3 x10 x1.
7/3 x10 x1.
8/3 x10 x2.
9/3 x10 x2.
10/3 off.
11/3 x10.
12/3 x8.
13/3 x8.
RE: Masculine Prime (Primal Masculinity 5.11g) - Benjamin - 03-14-2025
I'm noticing the last few nights my sex drive is up, with morning/night wood which is a good sign of it.
I also this morning looked in the mirror and in general in the feeling in my body noticed again that I definately have improved my physique in the time i've been using PM. When I was having resistance I couldn't see that as much and was questioning it.
Last night at toastmasters a new woman did a short 'social speech' and it was about some speaking event she spoke at, and was spouting all of this feminist nonsense (without going into it in any more detail due to the rules, but I don't think I can express the shift in mindset from PM that is towards masculinity without stating what it was about). I shook my head at one point but I don't think she was looking at me at the time, but what I did notice is either the few times she's been there she has perceived me in a certain way, or she noticed my vibe when she was speaking in that I thought it was retarded and completely disagreed with nearly all of it but she was looking at me much more than anyone else during speaking, and my friend said he noticed that when I mentioned it after the meeting.
I was talking to a guy after the meeting who organizes alot of stuff for toastmasters and he mentioned it and I said I disagreed with all of it, and he made this shocked sound and kind of moved a little and stood at the table looking down like he didn't know what to do or say, I found it entertaining and I said to my friend "I don't think he agrees with me". Then he started talking and actually did agree with alot of my points. But my friend said after that he wonders if this guy plays both sides (as in pretending to agree to both people on either side of something) and I think he might actually.
It's funny his impression of me. He said I should have went to that event to meet women, and pretend I agree with all of it. I straight away said that wouldn't work because they would be incompatible with me if i'm pretending and being fake and that doesn't work for a relationship, and he said "I wouldn't have thought you would want anything other than short term". Not sure why he has that impression, but it's interesting.
Then he mentioned another thing that he sent an email about that we could goto and be on a tv show talking about certain issues (a different subject than the above) and I replied saying no because from looking at the youtube channel it only spreads propoganda and pushes one side, also funny he agreed with me when I said that, but before that tried to criticize me for "not going because of my biases".
But each thing he said I countered and strongly stood for myself and my beliefs.
The thing that disgusted me a bit is that he then was trying to say that if I want a long term relationship I have to change my beliefs and go along with all of this nonsense that I am against, or even the suggestion to goto this event and pretend to be into it even when i'm strongly against it.
I think this shows the PM mindset kicking in I countered it all saying "no, if you are strong in your own beliefs you attract similar people into your life, I don't want anyone who is into that side of things".
Sadly his mindset of just pretending, being fake and going along with it all is fairly common in society especially with men. And I will not pretend to be into nonsense that I am completely against nor throw away the things that I stand for and stand against to meet some women I wouldn't really like anyway, or even in general in my life. I actually want to become MORE strong with this conviction.
He also tried to call me a 'troglodyte' to which I genuinely replied "actually thats a compliment at this point".
As being called things like that now really does mean you're on the right path.
It could be said as an argument against me from him or similar people "well you don't have a girlfriend and are having big problems meeting women" and that is true. But that isn't to do with me not pretending i'm into nonsense, but is due to trauma and fear stacking up to a pretty high level pretenting me from going for it like I used to. When I used to do well with women I still had these same beliefs and would attract women who resonate with that, who are feminine and receptive.. not masculine, disrespectful, rude etc which is generally what the side i'm against produces.
I also intend if she continues to bring more of this to the meetings to counter and push back with my own speeches and presentations. I didn't come to toastmasters to hear all the same bullshit and nonsense attacking and demeaning men that I get from every other direction in society and the media. I was hoping she would ask me something about it and I would have expressed my disagreement, but I didn't feel the need to go up and start conflict by being like "that stuff is nonsense" and wouldn't interrupt her presentation like that either as much as i'd like to, as others wouldn't do it to me with the supportive environment in toastmasters.
RE: Masculine Prime (Primal Masculinity 5.11g) - Benjamin - 03-14-2025
Had a dream last night about an ex who I dated while on E2, when I was 32 and she was 22. Younger women are my preference but I have alot of insecurities around it, even if I do see evidence they are attracted to me, and some of the responses earlier in PM when I got served in shops showed that too.
I was pissed off at her for ages in that she just sent a message breaking up with me a few days before I was going to see her next, with some nonsense trying to make me feel guilty, and trying to tell me something from when I was last with her made her lose all attraction to me, which is complete bs seeing that after that conflict on that day we then had sex and did something she said she hasn't done before.
I didn't reply and regretted it. I always thought I should have just went over there and told her something like "stop bullshitting me, you know I still turn you on" and kissed her. And I woke up after that dream with that choice reinforced in my mind that it would have been a good one, as it was definately some bs test trying to test if i'd back down on my own desires. And I didn't reply cos she said it was over and didn't see her again. Well I did in the street a few months later while on DMSI and she got so nervous and kept walking when I said "how's it going".
The other thing today represents my back and forth pattern. I wake up feeling inspired to do something, go somewhere (it's saturday here) and if I get on the computer or look at social media or whatever it drains my desire and mood. That partly shows me some PM/Masculine mindset kicking in being annoyed at dumb shit from people and commenting on it, atleast on facebook where I wouldn't before or wouldn't usually. I think there's a balance needed to be found between "it's useless to argue or comment on things on facebook" and to at times comment on it and tell them what you think cos you're sick of what they are saying.
But then there's the other thing, the pattern of I go out somewhere and over time (as in an hour or a few hours) I start to feel down, frustrated, depressed that there's no other good places to go around here, or not good events on that interest me, or get frustrated that my fear stops me talking to girls, or seeing couples and seeing that I seem to be the only one with this issue, or feeling like that anyway. And I go down in a spiral.
I'm not sure how to interrupt it, sometimes just staying at home playing games distracts me from it and makes it seem to not be there, but it doesn't solve the issue. Nor does it seem actually going out somewhere seem to solve it either.
So what's the solution? Half go out somewhere, have half of my body still in the house and the other half out in the front yard. I don't know.
EDIT: Ok, it come to me after this. The issue isn't completely being in a kind of small place (though it would make a difference being somewhere bigger), nor not knowing what to do. It's fear. Fear stopping me taking the actions, from being able to really goto things and enjoy myself and such.
I'm making myself turn off the computer and go somewhere instead of sitting here numbing it out with timewasting crap.
RE: Masculine Prime (Primal Masculinity 5.11g) - Benjamin - 03-15-2025
I'm glad I went out.
I drove down the street and was thinking where I should go, and also kind of getting frustrated. But thought of going to the beach town near me, then I seen I had a message from a mate who asked if I want to goto the beach, so that's good.
I went back home to get clothes then went, he wasn't gonna be there for an hour or so. I went for a walk, and something had shifted.
In the supermarket getting a drink, there was this sexy girl in front of the drinks. I went and got one and said "I recommend this one" and talked to her briefly, she responded positively and had some kind of accent. I said "Seeya" and left and then I was like "I should have talked to her more".
I went to try to find some shirts to get. I found myself more readily saying hi to staff when I went into shops. And I got a few smiles. A woman come into a clothes shop with a white shirt hanging over a bikini, then she come in the next clothes shop and I went and said "Are you finding more good clothes than me" not much to the interaction really, I did reinitiate and she was friendly but didn't really have any vibe.
The most noticable one was in a craft/antique type shop. There was 2 women, I kind of noticed them when I went in. At one stage they walked past and one gave me a smile, I said "how's it going" and asked if she was finding anything good, and I ended up just walking past and saying "that's good" after she answered and then I was thinking "come on".
I circled back and after a few minutes seen them again and this time she gave me a much more obvious, massive smile and I said "you're gonna need a bag soon to put all the stuff in" and she full on stopped to talk this time and her friend even left us alone. Talked maybe 5 minutes. I was surprised that she was 50, though I could tell she was older than I expected up close, but her body definately didn't match a 50 year old. She ended up saying she has to go finish buying a present for her mum and we parted ways. I was kind of annoyed I didn't take it further, but as I said to my friend it was already a bit out of my comfort zone.
I was saying "hi" or "how's it going" to more people when walking past them on the beach and was feeling pretty good.
But after a while I started to shut down a bit. My friend is pretty good at saying hi or talking to random people but he does talk about rsd and pickup stuff a bit and has kind of a bad mindset, like one thing I agree with he's saying there are places that are more natural for people to talk, but then he's talking about "cold approach" and how you can't really do it cos it's weird. I countered his points saying "it's not if you're comfortable, you don't really get any bad reactions" and such, but I think it still took it's toll.
I started to shut down a bit, and also get tired which sometimes happens with my energy so I can't totally blame what he was saying. But I thought that with the shift that was obviously happening where I was more naturally talking to girls today when I usually wouldn't, that what he was saying was going against that so caused conflict in my mind and further drained my energy.
It's not like he's being negative towards me or trying to bring me down. But I think I know what I mean.
We went and had dinner at a pub and the girls there are always cute, but I was starting to shut down then and my vibe was going down so I was getting kind of weird reactions when I was looking at them kind of like I was making them feel uncomfortable as my energy was down.
Anyway a good day in general. I feel much better about the day in that I actually did something instead of fear stopping me, and also usually have a better day when I go somewhere with a friend or friends and don't get the same frustration or going down in a spiral response after, so i'm glad he messaged me.
RE: Masculine Prime (Primal Masculinity 5.11g) - Benjamin - 03-17-2025
On sunday I went to a 'come and try' art thing. I had some nervousness coming up about going by myself, as my friend cancelled. But going by myself to things like this is what I want to do more of.
I went and I was the only guy there, which would be awesome if I liked elderly women.
There was one girl there though that was allright, I talked to her a bit and eventually she started initiating and saying stuff to me first. I was thinking of taking it further, then she mentioned her husband was coming with her baby and he come soon later. I could read his energy instantly, emasculated and his shirt (what was on it) showed the same thing.
He basically stood there behind her with the pram quietly and she didn't talk to him really, and kept talking to me. Not that I planned to go for it after I seen she was married, but the vibe was interesting.
It was worth going to it anyway as I enjoyed it and learnt some watercolor painting.
Last night I did 10 loops again. I woke up feeling like something had shifted, I had this distinct feeling telling me something was shifted and to go out today, and I was feeling inspired. It seems some sabotage come up as by the time I went out I started to feel worse and like that shift had gone. I even felt kind of nervous and weird when I parked my car. I listened to PM for 10 minutes sitting in my car for a boost as i've noticed doing so has been helpful when out.
Still felt a little weird, I had this strong intuition to goto a certain shop. And then.. nothing. I trust my intuition when it comes to dodgy people, but with stuff like this i'm starting to distrust my intuition or this guidance I get as alot of the time it amounts to nothing. Though sometimes it also is right too.
Went into a few other shops then to the fruit shop I goto regularly to get some stuff and chatted to the staff there.
I started to shut down a bit physically and my energy went right down. That's likely nothing to do with PM, as it tends to go in cycles and happens sometimes anyway.
Not much else to report. 5 days until the 3 month mark.
I think some resistance and sabotage is coming up a bit again after I felt it was executing and things happening that weren't before, like my desire to do some new things, then this resistance come up. And now the resistance is coming up I again feel like I don't want to continue PM, but still pressing play like usual.
RE: Masculine Prime (Primal Masculinity 5.11g) - Frosted - 03-19-2025
You’re almost there!
RE: Masculine Prime (Primal Masculinity 5.11g) - Benjamin - 03-19-2025
(03-19-2025, 07:59 PM)Frosted Wrote: You’re almost there!
Yep, tonight will be night 4 on so usually tomorrow night would be a night off since i've extended some of the on periods. So my plan is to extend another 2 nights, then sunday is an off night finishing the 3 months, then 7 days off.
I tried to find a lego motivational image, but I liked this one better.
![[Image: Lego-dr-evil.jpg]](https://i.postimg.cc/8C5Dpjx9/Lego-dr-evil.jpg)
RE: Masculine Prime (Primal Masculinity 5.11g) - Frosted - 03-19-2025
(03-19-2025, 08:28 PM)Benjamin Wrote:(03-19-2025, 07:59 PM)Frosted Wrote: You’re almost there!
Yep, tonight will be night 4 on so usually tomorrow night would be a night off since i've extended some of the on periods. So my plan is to extend another 2 nights, then sunday is an off night finishing the 3 months, then 7 days off.
I tried to find a lego motivational image, but I liked this one better.
Edit: I can’t get this forum to cooperate! Let me post my image!
Edit:
![[Image: IMG-0119.jpg]](https://i.postimg.cc/K8VQjYz4/IMG-0119.jpg)
YEESSSS!!! I got it to upload!
RE: Masculine Prime (Primal Masculinity 5.11g) - Benjamin - 03-19-2025
For about the last 1 1/2 months i've been playing Kingdom Come Deliverance 2, probably playing games more than in ages. I just finished it yesterday, then I felt depressed like "what do I do now".
I did 10 loops again last night, something felt different this morning. I woke up motivated and feeling like doing stuff. I went down the street to the fruit shop, I felt slightly awkward but seemed to also be projecting a vibe from PM. I was having weird stuff happen, when driving there a car in front of me was going really slow like he was purposely being a dickhead, then he put his arm on the passenger seat like he was relaxing to prove he was doing it on purpose. Yet I didn't do anything to warrant it.
Then walking past the post office a couple were walking and the guy was dodgy looking. He seen me and turned around to her and started talking to her and I got a vibe that it was something about me, I can't say why but I just got that feeling.
Not too much else. I feel that since maybe a month ago i'm not really projecting the vibe from PM like I was, since I tried to work on my resistance with another method and it messed something up. But also something i've noticed with me on other programs, that i'll have something happening when I first start it or early on and then this 'sabotage' will come up and sometimes it will come back and build up (the good thing I was noticing) but sometimes it won't really come back the same as at the start at all.
Obviously this is pretty specific to me as I have some deep stuff going on where others aren't necessarily having this happen. I hope that 6g gets past this for me and is more consistent.
Some things seem to maybe be happening differently from PM in the last week or two since working with a statement from my higher self, but it's confusing. Like for my whole time so far on PM I was doing a certain combination of workouts and I was thinking about how good it is that i've committed to it for longer where before I was jumping around, and I was wanting to commit to it in the long term, then I guess some sabotage come up around that. Then I had the last week off when I shouldn't have as it was only 3 weeks into my workouts.
But then this week I really wasn't feeling like keeping one of the things I do one day of my workout, and instead changing it to an extra day of calisthenics. I was going inbetween "is it because it's hard that i'm trying to run away from it" but also partly feeling i'm suddenly being guided to drop that part of the workout, because I also then had an urge to add something brief in the morning that wouldn't add much more fatigue to my body as it's short and would leave time for recovery but over time would add up to an increased positive workload.
That's why i'm confused, like is it some kind of resistance? Or is it legitimately now i'm being lead to alter the workout slightly and it's legit? I don't know.
I have a little bit of an urge to extend PM for longer wondering what it 'might' do. But it's not looking to me that it necessarily will.
My thoughts at the end after 3 months is that in the area of working out i've noticably improved my physique and am more muscular, and also had inspirations on how to improve my martial arts training. But in other areas i'm worse, like i've been playing games more, my friendship group and social life has gone downhill. It's likely my level of resistance and baggage leading to that and it all being stirred up.
I'm saying this now when i'm not in strong resistance and am not having a strong response that I need to stop PM, that it's best for me now to try 6g. Reports on OGSF v3 are good, I hope to report similar and even better things myself!
Oh I had something else I realized, or come up with a theory about. If i'm stuck in chronic stress/fight and flight to a certain level, which feels normal if it's been long term, though it's MUCH better than a few years ago.. then what seems to be happening is I get a bit of stress, frustration, fear or whatever.. and it's like the bucket is already full of stress then the other little bit tips it over and I want to goto my coping mechanisms, like porn. I realized that when it happened yesterday, I managed to relax and not do so but then realized this.
I still do feel it's also connected to stuff around girls, like guilt, shame, fear and such.. but also is likely working in a general sense aswell due to being in chronic stress that i'm not necessarily aware of. I know there's other contributing issues to low energy and my body sometimes seeming to shut down a bit, but it makes alot of sense that this could be a notable contributor to it too.
EDIT: And something Frosted said about he may not use AM7 yet reminded me. I definately have some level of trauma, guilt, shame, fear around my masculinity which could partly explain the on and off stuff during PM. Working out and martial arts are 'safe' for me to a certain point though I still have limitations I want to break through in those areas.. but the main trauma and fear is the 'out in the world' aspect.
AM7 is a definite for me, but likely not for a while. I really need to deal with money (UMS) after OGSF instead of using another masculinity program hoping that indirectly it will help give me the drive to work on stuff around money.. and instead use UMS directly.
RE: Masculine Prime (Primal Masculinity 5.11g) - Benjamin - 03-20-2025
Last night in bed I become aware of a Masculine feeling in the background that I wasn't noticing, and I realized how much I like this feeling and its one big reason I keep going back to Masculinity programs, as I want it at a much deeper level and have it be consistent.
I'm getting really pissed off at a certain thing today constantly being pushed in society and appearing in even more places, that is completely fucked up. I've written or posted several comments online today and then deleted them.
With it brings some feelings of hopelessness and rage, in that I can't do anything about this shit.. nor am I seeking it out but the idiots pushing it make sure we can't get away from it.
Certain things are pushed, yet REAL Masculinity is attacked from every direction but that seems okay by society. It reminds me of when I did a speech on Masculinity and several people were pissed off and I was told that it was 'too controversial' yet it wasn't at all and there are much more crazy things on the other end of things. It's only controversial because society is lost and moving towards destruction and ruining everything good, constructive etc.
I'm feeling like I should do another Masculinity speech soon, though that feeling may change when I start using OGSF because i'll be less being pushed towards this than on PM. But it could also hopefully deal with fears and other things that are limiting this expression also.
I was feeling what I called my 'stress bucket' almost getting overfilled and wanting to goto my coping mechanisms. But I will interrupt that and channel it into doing a workout.
RE: Masculine Prime (Primal Masculinity 5.11g) - Frosted - 03-20-2025
Unfortunately society is extremely fucked right now and it keeps getting worse.
RE: Masculine Prime (Primal Masculinity 5.11g) - Benjamin - 03-21-2025
This morning I had the urge to go out somewhere being saturday, but then I felt a bit down as "where can I go". And the places I thought of my thoughts were "well it'll be like all the other times, i'll go there, not enjoy myself, all this fear will come up and I won't enjoy it then i'll come home frustrated".
I put a loop of PM on and by the end of it I thought "just do it" and ended up just going out.
Initially I was really anxious, so much so I nearly didn't get out of my car and drove back home. I sat and breathed for a bit and just got out and went into a shop. I felt much better after and okay again.
It seems the intimidating vibe increased today. I wasn't feeling it myself really, other than at some stage when walking around I felt a subtle opening up and like my posture went upright, but had weird things happening again. It's strange that earlier on my vibe was more that i'd get good reactions and friendliness now it's become intimidating to some.
In one shop there was a young guy who was at the door as the greeter. He was kind of a big but maybe late teens or early 20s. When I left he seemed really intimidated, I said "seeya man" and he just quietly replied like he was really scared or something.
But then in the supermarket the young guy that served me was cool and friendly. I guess more secure in himself.
Then after another shop I was sitting in my car waiting to pull out, and this dude drove past and was just glaring at me like he was really pissed off with nothing to warrant it. But then at the lights he was making an obvious attempt to let me go first as he didn't pull out straight away and only did slowly when he started to.
The strangest one, the last shop I went to when I was walking up to the entrance a cute girl come past and smiled at me. I just smiled and nodded, sometimes it takes me by surprise, but I thought "ok i'm going to talk to her". I then went in and planned to come across her, and thinking about it I reakon she tried to do the same thing. She was looking at something on a shelf but then come across me at a kind of intersection in the shelves, and she smiled again.
I said "This would be a good place for a food fight" (it has lots of fresh fruit and stuff) and I don't know what she said, but she had a weird reaction, and I was like "if one starts will you help me or run away".. well just when I was trying to say that she seemed to kind of freak out and was quickly walking away, and even answered when she had walked a bit away "i'd probably throw a few" and quickly kept walking like she was freaked out. Fucking weird, especially after smiling at me TWICE, initially it had the same vibe as the woman I mentioned last weekend in a shop who smiled at me, then we crossed paths again and she did again and talked to her for a while.
I don't know what the fuck was up here, but it possibly shows my vibe was intimidating, still she did smile at me twice.
What i'm thinking is my fear that's stopping me from really being comfortable with this vibe, initiating things and such combined with this new vibe that is also not what i'm used to may be making me come across strange and incongruent. I remember Shannon saying something similar about AM in the past and getting weird reactions.
Tonight is my last night of listening to PM. I partly will miss this masculine vibe and subtle feeling from it and would love it to build, but from what i've seen it's building a little bit for me but never really breaking through, so it's kind of there but not it's full expression, or this sabotage thing comes up and lessens it.
So both OGSF and 6g should be useful to get through more of this, whatever it is.
It's tempting to just jump to OGSF v3 straight away, cos i'm fucking sick of all of this shit holding me back and not being able to get through it, even with coaching with different methods, putting hours into applying those methods myself and such. 6g seems promising, even for some people who are struggling even more than me. So lets hope.
RE: Masculine Prime (Primal Masculinity 5.11g) - 4Kingdoms - 03-22-2025
(03-21-2025, 11:31 PM)Benjamin Wrote: The strangest one, the last shop I went to when I was walking up to the entrance a cute girl come past and smiled at me. I just smiled and nodded, sometimes it takes me by surprise, but I thought "ok i'm going to talk to her". I then went in and planned to come across her, and thinking about it I reakon she tried to do the same thing. She was looking at something on a shelf but then come across me at a kind of intersection in the shelves, and she smiled again.When I read stories like mine and yours that involve the opposite sex, my first thought is, this guy is making this up! Then as the story continues, it's like WTF?? What just happened? (This is not the ending I was expecting)
I said "This would be a good place for a food fight" (it has lots of fresh fruit and stuff) and I don't know what she said, but she had a weird reaction, and I was like "if one starts will you help me or run away".. well just when I was trying to say that she seemed to kind of freak out and was quickly walking away, and even answered when she had walked a bit away "i'd probably throw a few" and quickly kept walking like she was freaked out. Fucking weird, especially after smiling at me TWICE, initially it had the same vibe as the woman I mentioned last weekend in a shop who smiled at me, then we crossed paths again and she did again and talked to her for a while.
I don't know what the fuck was up here, but it possibly shows my vibe was intimidating, still she did smile at me twice.
Tonight is my last night of listening to PM.
So both OGSF and 6g should be useful to get through more of this, whatever it is.
It's tempting to just jump to OGSF v3 straight away,
A few posts ago you were counting down how many days you had until the run-through of PM was finished.
After a break, your journey will continue with OGSF v3 6G!!
I hope you enjoy 6G as much as I am!!
RE: Masculine Prime (Primal Masculinity 5.11g) - Benjamin - 03-22-2025
I definately wasn't expecting or hoping for that ending either.
Thanks man, even if it was only a few days or so and i'm not sure if it would have actually made a difference i'm glad I stuck to it for the time. Well technically after tonights night off listening which i'm including in the cycle, but yeah pretty much done.