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+--- Thread: Journey to Being AwEsOmE (/Thread-Journey-to-Being-AwEsOmE)
RE: Journey to Being AwEsOmE - dbzjakecake - 07-26-2016
Day 25
Just feel better about myself. Voice issue is now gone. So happy it is and It appears my voice is deeper. I don't get anxiety anymore. I appear happier and my mind isn't full of thoughts. It feels like I have always been like this even-though I have not been. Like the beginning of the month I was going mentally crazy. Now none of that is happening and I just feel nothing. This just amazes me how the mind functions and how the subconscious can effect it so.
RE: Journey to Being AwEsOmE - dbzjakecake - 07-26-2016
I forgot to mention.
I have no urge to post anything on social media or take snapchats. It feels unnatural now and I don't want to do it. I feel like I want to be less social as well.
RE: Journey to Being AwEsOmE - dbzjakecake - 11-23-2016
Stage 4 Day 14
The resistance is real! It has been a very long time since I have posted on here. Stage 3 was the hardest stage so far. Was excited to get that over with and continue to stage 4. Stage 4 has been a roller coaster. Extreme ups and extreme downs. There hasn't been a day where I just felt content with everything and was happy. People have noticed that I am quieter and make more of an effort to talk to me. More so out of the concern that something may be wrong with me. I also find myself not wanting to talk or socialize as much. Stage 3 I was talking to everyone but in Stage 4 I'm avoiding it. I will purposefully ignore someone just so I don't have to talk. That is something out of the norm for me.
During my ups I'm extremely happy, its the best time ever. When I'm down, its the most depressive episode ever.
RE: Journey to Being AwEsOmE - Dutchman610 - 11-23-2016
(11-23-2016, 02:33 PM)dbzjakecake Wrote: Stage 4 Day 14
The resistance is real! It has been a very long time since I have posted on here. Stage 3 was the hardest stage so far. Was excited to get that over with and continue to stage 4. Stage 4 has been a roller coaster. Extreme ups and extreme downs. There hasn't been a day where I just felt content with everything and was happy. People have noticed that I am quieter and make more of an effort to talk to me. More so out of the concern that something may be wrong with me. I also find myself not wanting to talk or socialize as much. Stage 3 I was talking to everyone but in Stage 4 I'm avoiding it. I will purposefully ignore someone just so I don't have to talk. That is something out of the norm for me.
During my ups I'm extremely happy, its the best time ever. When I'm down, its the most depressive episode ever.
I went through the same resistance from stage 3 and 4. I had it bad, I was antisocial, drinking a lot more, avoiding work, the whole nine yards. Later stages went as bad for me. All, I can say is it trust me it does get better. Good luck, on your journey brother.
RE: Journey to Being AwEsOmE - dbzjakecake - 11-30-2016
Stage 4 is weird. I'm having thoughts of dropping this sub and starting E2. The day went off well. Then the roller coaster ride started. When I was hanging out with my friends I was alright but when I returned to my apartment a sudden sadness fell over me. I don't get why!?! No matter what I do or what happens I constantly feel this anxiety, so depressed and full of thoughts as to why this is happening. I cant concentrate on my work and its awful
RE: Journey to Being AwEsOmE - dbzjakecake - 12-02-2016
I snapped. Whatever happened I can not deal with it anymore. The past day I have hit another all time low. Suicidal thoughts were rampant. This has happened before and I have ended up in a hospital for a few days. I cant take it anymore!!! I dont quit but the thoughts have gotten much to handle. I feel panic at all times. I want to be happy and enjoy the process. I cant do that. Nothing makes me happy and I have tried everything!! I haven't been sleeping for the past two days and feel my life is in danger.
Sorry but Im going to stop this sub. Now I hope I can recover the mental trauma I have dealt with.
RE: Journey to Being AwEsOmE - bogdy - 12-02-2016
(12-02-2016, 03:21 AM)dbzjakecake Wrote: I snapped. Whatever happened I can not deal with it anymore. The past day I have hit another all time low. Suicidal thoughts were rampant. This has happened before and I have ended up in a hospital for a few days. I cant take it anymore!!! I dont quit but the thoughts have gotten much to handle. I feel panic at all times. I want to be happy and enjoy the process. I cant do that. Nothing makes me happy and I have tried everything!! I haven't been sleeping for the past two days and feel my life is in danger.
Sorry but Im going to stop this sub. Now I hope I can recover the mental trauma I have dealt with.
Keep going, I've got panic attacks, 2 days I couldn not leave the house because I was insecure, i didn't wanted to see anyone, depression paranoia I felt like I'm such a broken chase that I will lose all my friend and die lonely . This happened on dmsi 2.3 keept going and 4 weeks later I broke my 4 years dry spell.
Remember if you are going through hell, keep going!
RE: Journey to Being AwEsOmE - bogdy - 12-02-2016
Oh on btw, even if you skip am even if you don't use any subliminal at all, you will still experience panic attacks once in a while , unless healed of course.
Finish am then run e2, then calibrate after. Good luck.
RE: Journey to Being AwEsOmE - dbzjakecake - 12-02-2016
(12-02-2016, 03:36 AM)bogdy Wrote: Oh on btw, even if you skip am even if you don't use any subliminal at all, you will still experience panic attacks once in a while , unless healed of course.
Finish am then run e2, then calibrate after. Good luck.
Thank you, I needed that encouragement
RE: Journey to Being AwEsOmE - jonathan4all - 12-02-2016
(12-02-2016, 03:58 AM)dbzjakecake Wrote:(12-02-2016, 03:36 AM)bogdy Wrote: Oh on btw, even if you skip am even if you don't use any subliminal at all, you will still experience panic attacks once in a while , unless healed of course.
Finish am then run e2, then calibrate after. Good luck.
Thank you, I needed that encouragement
I had huge chest pain while running LTU and EHPRA 2.0. It is very normal.
RE: Journey to Being AwEsOmE - Frosted - 12-02-2016
For some reason I had chest pain on WM but not on AM...
RE: Journey to Being AwEsOmE - bogdy - 12-02-2016
I got dizziness out of the blue while on my run of 2.3. Anyway i kept going and i got real results.Anyway I ran it for 3 months.
RE: Journey to Being AwEsOmE - dbzjakecake - 12-14-2016
Alright Everyone. I decided to stop my AM6 run and start E2. I was at a very bad place and couldn't bare it any longer. People noticed how miserable I was. I couldn't hide what I was going through well enough. My friends pushed me to see a psychologist. She spoke to me and recommend I go home as I was not fit to live alone.
So back to living at home. Feels like the beginning of 2015 again. I want to deal with this depression fully!! I want to get rid of it forever. Decided E2 was the way to go.
This my first time using 5.5 G and it hurts. My brain is constantly working. I am exhausted and get headaches. Always stuck in my head, get distracted and I'm not present most times. It hard to focus on anything. Hope this passes and gets better.
Overall I want to get out of this depression. Be the positive, happy go lucky Individual I am and enjoy life to the fullest. Lets see what E2 can do for me.
RE: Journey to Being AwEsOmE - dbzjakecake - 01-03-2017
I feel E2 is breaking me down completely. At first I wasn't okay with it. Constant headaches and inner turmoil. I was fighting it and hated it. I don't socialize. I don't post on any social media. I don't want to talk to girls. I really don't feel like doing anything. Today I just let it go and something happened. My mind just went silent. No thoughts or inner dialogue. Just clear and nothing was happening. It felt very off but I realized this is how the mind should be. It felt like I was lighter. A strange feeling. I was happy it happened and showed me what the end goal of this program to be. I maybe hating this process (Trust me, I really hate it) but it necessary to get to where I want to be in the future.