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+--- Thread: Overcoming Social Anxiety/Love and Appreciate Yourself - Journal of Jay (/Thread-Overcoming-Social-Anxiety-Love-and-Appreciate-Yourself-Journal-of-Jay)
RE: Overcoming Social Anxiety/Love and Appreciate Yourself - Journal of Jay - Jay - 11-22-2010
@Spiral
Don't worry about me getting enough exposure, I average from about 15 hours minimum daily, although there have been a few days though that I had about 8-9 hours. And lol, doing a second run of stage 1 of AM wasn't exactly what I had intended. I actually quit my first run of AM after it pretty much immobilized me with plenty of anxiety and constant depressive pressure etc. and started with Overcome Social Anxiety and Love And Appreciate Yourself to give myself some slack and work a little bit on some of my root issues before I started my second run again.
Being self conscious is pretty annoying, and I'm glad to have overcome it once again. I used to be very self conscious of the way I was perceived by other people, along with the way I walked. But it’s just nonsense that keeps you from just enjoying/being yourself. As long as you see that you’re the one that’s in control of your thoughts and body, it doesn’t have to take hold. When you're becoming less needy, it means that you're starting to see yourself as a high value person who is content with who he is. Neediness comes from a place of lack / loss. Definitely a step in the right direction
@Benjamin
Yeah, Jason Statham is also one of my favorite actors, and I can only concur that Crank was a great film. Haven’t seen the expendables yet, but will definitely put it on my “have to see” movies list.
Even though I had promised myself that I would keep AM as my only subliminal, with my recent setback I really started getting annoyed with my social interactions because I knew I could do better than that, Also what’s the point of being a somewhat socially awkward Alpha?
After giving it at least a week of thought I added Overcome Social Anxiety on 20 november. My current setup is 2 x Alpha Male and 1 x OSA in a constant loop so that it doesn’t intervene to much with AM.I noticed on the first day that something had lifted along with a feeling of euphoria, second day I already noticed a strong decline in feeling out of my place when in public places, which was the whole purpose of adding this sub again. So I’m glad that the sub it’s doing it’s purpose and that it didn’t take much time to get there again. I also have to say that my positive mood became more engrained than before. With Stage 2 (I’m now on day 6) I’m noticing I’m becoming more decisive, and I tend to become more questionable about certain subjects, perhaps a little bit more towards the direction of paranoid. This has helped me drop some unsollicitated theories about pickup theory and human psychology and some other miscellaneous stuff including subliminals and placebo related stuff. I’m also noticing that like spiral and a few others that I’m becoming less needy, and I’m pretty prone on catching myself in the act whenever I’m on auto pilot.
When I woke up yesterday, the first thing that caught my attention was the way I viewed taking action, my perspective became very strong on the emphasis words are only words, it’s the actions that you take that truly matters, decisions define people, make them more alive. And people aren’t going to know you from the things that you didn’t do. I think I really get it now. Today I picked up on a couple of tasks I still had lying around since my “setback”, and will continue on doing so tomorrow.
My sleeping rhythm is currently not great, I started sleeping around 4 am the last couple of days while waking up at noonish, and today won’t be any different (as I gaze towards my clock) I think. After using the insomnia aid for over a month I can conclude that it stopped doing what it’s meant to do, and it only slightly relaxes me now, and importantly keeps me centered the next day (which is my only motive for continue on using it).
I’ve also been experimenting around with melatonin for over a week (I believe), and I had a couple of groggy days, but the worst seems to be over now. I think it has to do with that I’m in more of a positive mood now, than a couple of years before I first took melatonin. This also isn’t a particular definitive sleeping aid for me, but it does make me a little bit more sleepy and it’s a natural chemical so I can only benefit from using it. Still have to keep on looking for other sleep remedies I believe...
I also noticed the last couple of days that my feelings today were going along the direction of being very loving and kind towards all things, I’ve noticed this before with the subliminals but it remains a “weird” effect. It always seemed hard for me to be so loving about people and things, but it feels pretty great feeling grateful for things again.
RE: Overcoming Social Anxiety/Love and Appreciate Yourself - Journal of Jay - Jay - 12-07-2010
It has been a while since I’ve lasted posted here. For starters, I’ve gone back to my previous setup, which are Overcome Social Anxiety and Love and Appreciate Yourself and have dropped Alpha Male 2010 for the time being (so that the title thread would correspond to me again, har har nah j/k) and have been using them for more than a week. I still don’t have a clue what has happened to me, but I can safely say that I’m more accepting of that it has happened, and that I just have to start over again and move on. I’ve refrained from posting here since my mood and perspective changed pretty much every single day, and it would have given a very schizophrenic/manic impression had I continued posting... I also think that the subliminals didn’t have much influence in those days, after adding OSA to AM it did give me a small boost at the start but it eventually just winded down. It certainly didn’t help that at a certain point I lost faith in a lot of things and didn’t knew what to believe anymore, this including subliminals.
Even though I had more sort of "good" days than bad days I could notice a decline in my personal well-being which pretty much came to its lowest point about a week and a half ago. I also wasn’t aware that I had a constant pressure of anxiety, once I was able to identify this, things started to change because I had something to focus on for immediate improvement. My anxiety did cause me to be a hermit pretty much all the time during this duration, but all things considered I am and have been a hermit for a large part of my life, so who cares? It’ll only take time before I’ll be able to be comfortable with myself again, especially if I continue using these subliminals, and don't get too emotionally involved in arguments...
I haven’t noticed much specific change from OSA and LAY, but since the last five days the mood swings are gone for about 95%, which is already an impressive feat to me. Since starting OSA and LAY I definitely saw a an acute positive change in my self-image, and the only negativity that still stems from it is in the form of having a couple of negative / self-deprecating thoughts (instead of a lot) that pop up throughout the day, and waking up with a sense of negativity which resides after ~30 minutes. I’m still very susceptible to feeling anxiety, but overall I have my sense of calmness has returned, which also means that I’m able to think rational again, and have a better ongoing narrative going, instead of black/white emotional negative thought and being enveloped by it. I'm currently not able to assess my social anxiety, because I haven't left the house for little over a week, but I'm noticing that I'm thinking more lightly about it (instead of pressuring the hell out of me, and thoughts of gloom and doom of what could happen...), which in effect is motivating me more to do more things to get out.
I’m currently focused on becoming selfish and having mature boundaries, which are pretty much the most important building blocks of my mindset, along with using certain aspects of spirituality to help me accept things as they are instead of judging / labeling them. Except for focusing and practicing on this, I’m also strengthening it by reading and listening to a lot of (audio and e)books (‘No More Mr. Nice Guy’, ‘A New Approach to Emotional Health and Clear Thinking’ and ‘Stop Giving A **** - The Ultimate Goal’, to name a few) which have helped me before to get into this frame of mind.
Even though I already posted about this before, I can definitely tell that the Insomnia Aid isn’t a great Insomnia Aid for me, but I’m much more centered and clear-headed the next day when I use it. Also tried a few other brainwave entrainment programs from other companies, but they sort of fell flat, especially in comparison with Shannon’s.
RE: Overcoming Social Anxiety/Love and Appreciate Yourself - Journal of Jay - Spiral - 12-08-2010
Hey man stay strong! This is a long process for most. Including me.. and you've made some good improvements. You've been able to identify your problems and you are being true to yourself. Once you begin to truly understand yourself and the whole point to life everything becomes much more easier and all in all.. pretty zen. You're anxiety will mean nothing to you anymore and you will just be your own person. You'll realize everyone is around for your enjoyment.. just sometimes we have our bad days and that has to do with our own struggles. You'll soon understand that there is no reason for judgement.. labels.. arguements.. and things of this nature. It will all be alright once you become grounded in your own being. You are on your way man. I know the best is coming for you.
RE: Overcoming Social Anxiety/Love and Appreciate Yourself - Journal of Jay - Ryan - 12-08-2010
Hey Jay, sorry this is happening again. You and I are in the same boat much of the time. Anyways, I sought help for my anxiety and so far so good. I was put on anti-depressants (which are no fun in the beginning) and they seem to somewhat help me, I'm still having constant struggles right now to be 'normal' again. Anyways, I've found some great resources that I suggest you look into.
Here are some resources I've found, look into them, they help
*#1* Get this program, it's the best you can get, it's expensive though :
http://www.stresscenter.com/mwc/
This will help you get over your anxiety and depression, I see the infomercial every morning when I wake up
5-HTP serotonin supplement daily
Multi-vitamins/B Vitamins especially
OTC Herbal anti-depressants/anxiety relief supplements: St. John's Wort (took last year and had a huge improvement in my anxiety), Kava kava and Rhodiola Rosea.
Yoga
Meditation
Walking/hiking
Walking meditation (focus on your movements rather than your thoughts).
Breathing exercises (ask Spiral).
Counseling/Talk Therapy/Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (research Systematic Desensitization)
EFT
Acupuncture
Chiropractic
Massage
Journaling
I purchased this hypnosis tape which seems to be one of the best NLP tapes for eliminating any phobia including social anxiety, however, I haven't used it much due to other complications: http://www.neuro-vision.us/Products/AudioAgoraphobiaHypnosisTapes.htm?a_aid=138cfa22
Books: Power of Now, Feel the Fear & Do it Anyway
RE: Overcoming Social Anxiety/Love and Appreciate Yourself - Journal of Jay - Shannon - 12-08-2010
Jay, I think your biggest problem is insecurity. You used the first stage twice as long as necessary, and then quit before using Stage 3 because you couldn't just let it go and let the program do it's job. When you interfere, it screws things up. Just play it and forget it. At this point, you're going to have to start all over again. If you use the program again, use it by itself. Use it 32 days per stage... and DO NOT STOP. It's 6 months and six stages for a reason. Make it a personal commitment if you start using it.
I dare say that a big part of your emotional rollercoaster is one that I have experienced in the past. It's that you live with your parent(s) at an age that society as a whole expects you to be on your own to be fully able to claim "manhood". The alpha male subs will push you to actualize your "manhood", which will cause you to either get out of your parents' house, or become upset if you absolutely cannot. I felt quite depressed for a while because I could not get out of mom's house while I was taking care of her during the last year she was alive... and the anxiety and depression in my case were caused by feeling like I was not being the "man" I should be. Independence is a very important factor in a man's psyche in our society. Therefore, it might be best to either not use the alpha male program (if you plan on staying with your parents for the time being) or moving before you start using it again.
Secondly, the insomnia aid is not intended to "cure" insomnia, but help with occasional insomnia. You see why - if it's used too much, you get used to it and it doesn't work as well. Don't use it every day. In fact, for as much difficulty as you seem to be having with sleeping, I would suggest considering asking for a doctor's advice on how to cure your insomnia. A doctor of psychology, or a sleep specialist preferably. And don't let them tell you that "these pills will fix it".
RE: Overcoming Social Anxiety/Love and Appreciate Yourself - Journal of Jay - Roy - 12-08-2010
Jay,I know the alpha set can be tough.I don't know why you stopped and started again.I had rough days in the beginning and still have them.
It's a emotional roller coaster,seeing improvement and than having resistance,bad moods and days and doubting if you improve or it's all in your head.
Change is hard.Changing so much in a short time is intense.It's your life and your pain.Stop running from it and wait for things to improve.You can try to tap it away,breath it away,meditate or whatever.I read something Shannon wrote in Ryan's thread about certain lessons activated in peoples life regardless of circumstances.I suspect he is right about that.
There things in life you have to deal with.
F*** with the discomfort and pain and moods.If you do it and suffer,well,that's life.
One of the things I realized lately is that man is defined by his actions.I doesn't matter if you win or lose at the end.It's about your character and
if you have the courage to do what you have to do.You don't always win,
you feel like you are in hell sometimes but you don't have anything to regret later.
RE: Overcoming Social Anxiety/Love and Appreciate Yourself - Journal of Jay - Spiral - 12-08-2010
Yea, Jay... for me I will be at the top for 1 day. It's like that in every cycle.. then it goes back down. Today was the first day back down the rollercoaster so the cycle begins again.. I believe I will be back at the top once I start stage 3.
Figure some things out... if you need to.. do what Shannon suggested.. but next time take a huge leap of faith and make the commitment for the alpha set man.