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+--- Thread: AM5 Journal (/Thread-AM5-Journal)
RE: AM5 Journal - guilotine - 05-24-2014
(05-24-2014, 11:24 AM)SargeMaximus Wrote: I wake up in the middle of the night with raging hard-ons. I haven't had sex in my life yet, but I get boners when around women in real life so I'm not worried.
How long have you watched porn at that level?
I, myself, have watched porn for 8 years, masturbating to it for probably an average of at least 4 hours a day, every day... for 8 years. I too, had some issues, then I upped my diet, exercised, and accepted my habit fully, and now I'm ok. The only trouble I get in is when stress becomes too much in my life (or when I workout at the gym too hard), then I get adrenal fatigued, which totally sucks.
Started at 13. Escalated when I was 19. Started to see ED with women at about 24. Been laying off for the last two years and erection strength has improved with women.
I never had issues with night boners and morning wood either. In fact there was nothing that signaled something could be wrong until I was in the presence of a good looking woman and did not feel the level of arousal I felt with porn.
RE: AM5 Journal - SargeMaximus - 05-24-2014
(05-24-2014, 02:38 PM)guilotine Wrote: Started at 13. Escalated when I was 19. Started to see ED with women at about 24. Been laying off for the last two years and erection strength has improved with women.
I never had issues with night boners and morning wood either. In fact there was nothing that signaled something could be wrong until I was in the presence of a good looking woman and did not feel the level of arousal I felt with porn.
Hmm, well I hope I'll be ok. If not, there's always cialis or whatever.
RE: AM5 Journal - guilotine - 06-05-2014
AM5 Stage 2 Day 24.
NoFAP Day 24.
Event though I've been noFapping I've been having sex with one of the girls I mentioned earlier so that helps with the urges.
It's good because I can be my natural self around her and naturally I am quite dominant and sexual.
I am however quite shy with strangers and hold back a lot in the beginning.
I also became complacent for the last two weeks and didn't approach any women. I've been feeling very good like a boss. Very happy, confident, powerful. No signs of any resistance to the sub yet. I also feel less needy for validation from the outside world so that's a good sign.
However last night I went out and suddenly felt a little intimidated. It had been a while and there were a lot of hot women around in the club. I approached a number of women but left after talking for a couple of minutes. I always have trouble maintaining conversations and building attraction with strange women. This makes things very awkward and uncomfortable during those first few minutes. I realized that this is a limiting belief that I've been having and I started to tap on it last night. I'm not sure if I did it right but I do feel better about it. Let's see how things work out tonight as I will be going out again.
I missed a few days in meditation and had a lot of trouble getting back to the earlier concentration levels. Yesterday was good and I feel like I'll be able to meditate well in the next couple of days.
I've also been working out more these days and my body looks great.
Oh and I went skydiving last week. It was amazing and crazy!!
RE: AM5 Journal - guilotine - 06-05-2014
I've been tapping on last nights experiences and I feel it improves temporarily but I'm feeling a bit bad right now. Maybe my old feelings are coming back up. I don't feel like a boss right now.
RE: AM5 Journal - guilotine - 06-17-2014
AM5 Stage 3 Day 2.
NoFAP Day 1.
So I relapsed after 35 days of noFAP. This was my previous record and I was hoping on beating it but was able to tie it instead. No big deal. Starting day 1 again today. As long as I don't fall back into watching for hours over the next few days I'll be fine. I will keep my computer off for the next few days because that's when I'm most likely to relapse.
Started Stage 3 yesterday. I didn't feel anything major in stage 2. Maybe because the changes are too subtle to notice or I am resistant to the subs. Anyway I just can't wait to get to SM3. Still 4 months to go.
RE: AM5 Journal - guilotine - 07-20-2014
AM5 Stage 4 Day 1
NOFAP - Day 12
There was one day in noFAP that I masturbated without porn. I don't mind this actually.
Not much to report on the AM front. Things are going pretty good in life in general.
RE: AM5 Journal - guilotine - 08-13-2014
AM5 Stage 4 Day 26
So far I am not noticing any difference from this program. I feel good about myself and stuff but I attribute that stuff mostly to the changes I made prior to AM5. I still get AA to a certain extent and also still get pissed off about rejection. I'll keep continuing till the end so we will see what the last two stages do. I am hoping to be an approaching machine and not give a damn about what other people think of me but I feel I am still far from that point.
RE: AM5 Journal - SargeMaximus - 08-14-2014
(08-13-2014, 11:43 PM)guilotine Wrote: AM5 Stage 4 Day 26
So far I am not noticing any difference from this program. I feel good about myself and stuff but I attribute that stuff mostly to the changes I made prior to AM5. I still get AA to a certain extent and also still get pissed off about rejection. I'll keep continuing till the end so we will see what the last two stages do. I am hoping to be an approaching machine and not give a damn about what other people think of me but I feel I am still far from that point.
Hey man, how's the diet going?
Also, have you tried PSTEC? Might help.
RE: AM5 Journal - guilotine - 08-14-2014
Diet is going pretty good. I was in vegas for a few days last week so I was on a pretty bad diet those few days but besides that I've been pretty consistent. Libido has not been that high the last few days but before that it was raging so I watched porn a couple of days.
Haven't looked into PSTEC yet. Will do thanks.
RE: AM5 Journal - SargeMaximus - 08-14-2014
(08-14-2014, 06:54 AM)guilotine Wrote: Diet is going pretty good. I was in vegas for a few days last week so I was on a pretty bad diet those few days but besides that I've been pretty consistent. Libido has not been that high the last few days but before that it was raging so I watched porn a couple of days.
Haven't looked into PSTEC yet. Will do thanks.
Oh ok, yeah I have already figured for myself that, should I ever travel, I'd have to eat organic food from the places I visit. I can't eat regular food anymore without getting at least a little bit sick. But as for the diet effects, how are the erections when with REAL women vs when on porn?
RE: AM5 Journal - guilotine - 08-23-2014
(08-14-2014, 04:15 PM)SargeMaximus Wrote: Oh ok, yeah I have already figured for myself that, should I ever travel, I'd have to eat organic food from the places I visit. I can't eat regular food anymore without getting at least a little bit sick. But as for the diet effects, how are the erections when with REAL women vs when on porn?
Sorry I just saw this post.
Erections are still not rock hard with women however they are quite strong.
My morning wood is also stronger. I can definitely feel an improvement with the diet but still not where I wanna be.
RE: AM5 Journal - guilotine - 08-23-2014
AM5 Stage 5 Day 1.
Starting Stage 5 today. 2 months to go.
RE: AM5 Journal - SargeMaximus - 08-24-2014
(08-23-2014, 05:38 PM)guilotine Wrote:(08-14-2014, 04:15 PM)SargeMaximus Wrote: Oh ok, yeah I have already figured for myself that, should I ever travel, I'd have to eat organic food from the places I visit. I can't eat regular food anymore without getting at least a little bit sick. But as for the diet effects, how are the erections when with REAL women vs when on porn?
Sorry I just saw this post.
Erections are still not rock hard with women however they are quite strong.
My morning wood is also stronger. I can definitely feel an improvement with the diet but still not where I wanna be.
Righto, I'm wondering about this for myself. The erections are good, but with women, WILL they be? lol.
I'm looking into the validity of what athanas was talking about a while back, but there's not a lot of detail.
Anyhow, I'll let you know if I find anything.
RE: AM5 Journal - guilotine - 09-28-2014
Stage 6 Day 1.
One more month to go. I don't have much to report on as I'm not really noticing much difference. At this point I just wanna get through this and get to SM3