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+--- Thread: Athena's Emotional Healing Pain Relief Journal (/Thread-Athena-s-Emotional-Healing-Pain-Relief-Journal)
RE: Athena's Emotional Healing Pain Relief Journal - DisneylandUSA - 06-05-2016
(06-05-2016, 12:07 PM)Athena Wrote:Day 4: Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind Effect? ZOMG!
Today it was a lovely, sunny day and it seemed to be a normal day overall but there was one thing I noticed this afternoon when I was walking in the park that really surprised me...
Basically, let's just say there's been a lot of emotional pain from certain things that happened between myself and the last man in my life, (even though that was over a year ago, by choice) not just when things ended but even at a couple points during. And although time has passed & I've worked on this, there's still been wounds there.
Anyway, today when I was walking in the park, I went to think about him, can't remember why but something made me think of him and what happened next startled me...
It's like all of a sudden, things are a little fuzzy. My brain is -- how do I explain this, even? It's like my brain is going, nope, NOT going THERE. Whereas before sometimes it was like picking a scab. The irritation causing me to try and dig deeper. Not always and I've been dealing but recently when I found a "portal" to him online if I wanted it all those questions were buzzing around my mind like angry bees.
Whereas all of a sudden my "don't give a F...-ness" around THAT subject has gone way up.
It feels like...like the time-frame's expanded. I mean, it feels like it all happened even a few years before it actually did, like it's been moved further into my past and things are noticeably harder to remember about us but also it's like my brain is a little repulsed by the notion of thinking about him at all. Like that trauma - and yes, some of HAS been traumatic and I'm not someone to dramatize such things! - is beginning to heal on a deeper level. Giving my heart and brain a break from the intensity of what I went through.
I really hope these effects continue.
I don't know if it will but I'm loving these effects....so so much.
Happy that it's giving your heart and brain a break from the intensity that you went through. A true Blessing
RE: Athena's Emotional Healing Pain Relief Journal - 4Kingdoms - 06-05-2016
Okay, after reading someone else's journal about how EHPRA 2.0 isn't working... I'm glad to hear it is working on you. (I think that someone is listening to it for too many hours) You need to turn off these subliminals to let it process in your mind. 8 hours listening, 8 hours resting. Less is more...
What did I tell you?? EHPRA 2.0!! It's a real winner and has to be experienced to be understood.
Happy for you, soon you will feel blissful...
**********
Sometimes what I try to describe in my journals get's lost in translation and is not understood. I love how you describe the event you are thinking about how It feels like...like the time-frame's expanded. I mean, it feels like it all happened even a few years before it actually did, like it's been moved further into my past and things are noticeably harder to remember...
Tried explaining it, just couldn't put it into words.
RE: Athena's Emotional Healing Pain Relief Journal - CatMan - 06-05-2016
I experienced a very similar incident a few days ago, Athena.
I had a huge blowout with someone I cared a great deal for, and it's safe to say she's out of my life for good, now. Long and short of it, I got sick of being treated like trash. I was so worried beforehand that it would devastate me if this result occurred, but I've felt pretty much nothing. And barely even thinking about her since, either. Amazing given the interest I've had, and for so long and she was the reason I came to subs to begin with, to attract her etc. It's like a switch has been turned or something, total 180. That's surprising to me...I was bracing for serious meltdown.
Anyway, I'm glad to hear you're doing well.
RE: Athena's Emotional Healing Pain Relief Journal - Benjamin - 06-05-2016
That's a pretty big thing Catman.. it might seem E2 is doing nothing but that seems big to me that you dealt with that so calmly
RE: Athena's Emotional Healing Pain Relief Journal - Athena - 06-19-2016
Hi. I'm about 2 weeks in (new version) though sometimes I've forgotten to loop it but now I am more careful to make sure that I am.
Well, sub has mostly been helpful with work stress, I think. With calming me a bit there. It's been so stressful at times and although I did have a wee meltdown at one stage, on the whole I've been quite calm about it all.
So I'd say that's progress :-)
RE: Athena's Emotional Healing Pain Relief Journal - 4Kingdoms - 06-19-2016
(06-19-2016, 02:57 AM)Athena Wrote: Hi. I'm about 2 weeks in (new version) though sometimes I've forgotten to loop it but now I am more careful to make sure that I am.
Well, sub has mostly been helpful with work stress, I think. With calming me a bit there. It's been so stressful at times and although I did have a wee meltdown at one stage, on the whole I've been quite calm about it all.
So I'd say that's progress :-)
LOL, EHPRA 2.0 is subtle. Soon you will have an epiphany and you won't know it until someone that REALLY knows you points it out!!
RE: Athena's Emotional Healing Pain Relief Journal - Athena - 07-01-2016
Hiya.
Yeah, it's subtle but I THINK EHPR 2 is helping to balance out my moods. I feel more likely to WANT to think positive, when I start to get in my funks. And less like life is hopeless. Sometimes, yes I still feel that and on a weekly basis! But less strongly than before, I think. :-) :-)
And while weekends can sometimes still be tough for me, that extra thinking time and at the moment too tired from work to rush around either (like I sometimes do)
I'm not getting in SUCH long funks and so down and I think the last couple of weeks, I've been a bit more able to relax and enjoy my weekends, without being SO plagued by the dark, despairing thoughts that love to come and find me at such times!
It's still not been easy but it's been easiER, you know? To enjoy a kindle book, a chat, a program a game, without it being so overshadowed by that depressing feeling that my life aint sheet. And it's incredibly nice to have a bit of a break from THAT. It's still there and on a weekly basis, but noticeably less strong.
RE: Athena's Emotional Healing Pain Relief Journal - DisneylandUSA - 07-02-2016
Sounds like you are making progress; 'Helping to balance out the moods,' that is great
RE: Athena's Emotional Healing Pain Relief Journal - Athena - 07-02-2016
Thank you, DisneylandUSA!
RE: Athena's Emotional Healing Pain Relief Journal - Athena - 07-02-2016
I had a dream early this morning before waking up from it. It was about work stuff I have already been through that was quite stressful for all of us. I wondered why am I dreaming about work stuff that's done and dusted already and I didn't like going through the first time?!
But then I thought perhaps it's the sub and it's helping me clear some of that.
RE: Athena's Emotional Healing Pain Relief Journal - Nox - 07-03-2016
(07-02-2016, 11:06 PM)Athena Wrote: I had a dream early this morning before waking up from it. It was about work stuff I have already been through that was quite stressful for all of us. I wondered why am I dreaming about work stuff that's done and dusted already and I didn't like going through the first time?!
But then I thought perhaps it's the sub and it's helping me clear some of that.
Sounds about right. Things need to be neutralized before they're really able to be put away.
RE: Athena's Emotional Healing Pain Relief Journal - risingwarrior - 07-03-2016
Hey Athena, I was reading your Attract your perfect bf journals. Since you've switched to EPHRA, has there been any progress on the dating front? I mean the guys who were texting you, did it go any further...or did it die down after you stopped with AYPB?
RE: Athena's Emotional Healing Pain Relief Journal - Athena - 07-03-2016
Not at this point. An ex lover has come back into my life, not sure if I put that on the journal or not?
We matched on Tinder it was a hard decision which way to swipe him!
He still mostly talks sexually, but with him it's like there has ALWAYS been a bit more there too, like he's proposed to me in the past, introduced me to his mum etc. But he still wants marriage and kids and I don't and I still want a live-out boyfriend. And I am attracted but I've never been, like I've always had some attraction to him but not loads? But I like that he's smart and funny and SOME things about him are cute. So we text now and then and have talked about meeting but so far our schedules have clashed. So, I've said maybe during the summer. And there's also another guy very interested but I'm not attracted to him. I went to Plenty of Fish again too and tried hiding my profile and only messaging first to guys I thought seemed good. But I think i messaged 30 and got about 4 replies or 5 and one of those wasn't interested. And of the ones who WERE one was married which is a HELL NO for me!
So, not yet but I guess who knows? Nobody who i REALLY fancy. The last one was this guy Aaron a guy from Tinder and we chatted for a month and then he wanted to meet as did I but he disappeared.
And no dates since that Belgian guy, I think that was early June. That was a lovely date though. But he was just passing through.
RE: Athena's Emotional Healing Pain Relief Journal - Nox - 07-04-2016
(07-03-2016, 07:29 PM)Athena Wrote: Not at this point. An ex lover has come back into my life, not sure if I put that on the journal or not?
We matched on Tinder it was a hard decision which way to swipe him!
He still mostly talks sexually, but with him it's like there has ALWAYS been a bit more there too, like he's proposed to me in the past, introduced me to his mum etc. But he still wants marriage and kids and I don't and I still want a live-out boyfriend. And I am attracted but I've never been, like I've always had some attraction to him but not loads? But I like that he's smart and funny and SOME things about him are cute. So we text now and then and have talked about meeting but so far our schedules have clashed. So, I've said maybe during the summer. And there's also another guy very interested but I'm not attracted to him. I went to Plenty of Fish again too and tried hiding my profile and only messaging first to guys I thought seemed good. But I think i messaged 30 and got about 4 replies or 5 and one of those wasn't interested. And of the ones who WERE one was married which is a HELL NO for me!
So, not yet but I guess who knows? Nobody who i REALLY fancy. The last one was this guy Aaron a guy from Tinder and we chatted for a month and then he wanted to meet as did I but he disappeared.
And no dates since that Belgian guy, I think that was early June. That was a lovely date though. But he was just passing through.
Damn that's romantic. /swoon