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+--- Thread: My way with AM6 (/Thread-My-way-with-AM6)
Stage 4, Day 12 - Shawn - 06-08-2014
At begin from stage 4 I got easily angry. Especially in situations when people promised to do something but didn't do it. For example someone wanted to help me with some stuff but changed his mind in last minute. I just felt disrespected and got really angry about this.
Since begin from this stage I even had many memories from my teenage time and childhood coming up. I felt a little bit down because I was really bad with girls and therefore I missed the typical experiences most of the kids are making here. I started watching a TV series I watched in that time, too.
Now let's come to the positive aspects of this stage. The changes I made since begin from AM6 start to feel completely natural. I also experience increased confidence. I noticed it at two social situation. One of them was business related and they were people in higher position, too. In the past I would have lost most of the confidence I had in such a situation. But here my confidence remained very good and I didn't start to feel insecure. That's a really big change. I think stage 3 did here some good basic work, even if I didn't notice it, and stage 4 continues it. The same appears to the other social situation. It was a big party with many people but I stayed almost the whole time confident.
Besides of the negative feelings I mentioned stage 4 makes me feel really good about me and I like it. Looking forward for the next weeks.
Stage 4, Day23 - Shawn - 06-19-2014
Wow, this stage is huge. On the one side it brings a lot of anger to the surface. It's primaly about women and people I sense that there is something wrong. I think there is a lot of intuition, but I think it's also still some anger on past related things. And like in the first week some memories from past come to the surface, too, and make me sad.
I also started tapping in the last two weeks. I used to avoid it, because I had very similar things in mind which Ben mentioned in the tapping thread. I though, what if I tap feeling X or feeling Y away, and what if that feeling would normally have forced me to make a point and get a situation cleared. Then feeling X or Y were gone, but the situation remains. So I still avoid tapping on situations which I can solve in the normal way (at least I try to solve it). But I was tapping on lot of old stuff that came to the surface in certain situations.
The other side of this stage brings me to feel good about myself and very confident. The things start to feel more and more naturally. I am also even more unaffected by the BS of other people. For example one day I sat with a women at a table. We had a discussion and we had different opinions about certain things. She started to get louder and she got really bitchy. The people from other tables started to look at us. But it didn't matter for me. I didn't care about the other people and I felt unaffected by her bitchy manner. I still felt really calm. It was really cool.
Another day I was at the post office. A woman entered almost with me the shop. The woman at the desk asked if we are together. The woman who entered with me the shop looked at me, smiled and said in a flirty way "Not yet"
She was a few years older than me and I was in hurry so the situation ended here, but it was still funny. At this time it looks like I only meet two kinds of women. The ones who are smiling at me and who sometimes are even flirty. Or the ones who get quickly bitchy for no reason. Whyever... The last one are usually women I know already and who were usually nice to me in the past.
In comparison to the other stages, stage 4 seems to bring all the stuff from the other stages together. While stages 1 - 3 primaly made a shift in my feelings (and therefore a change in my manner, too), stage 4 forces me to live the teachings, too. It also brings me to really absorb the subs. I sometimes feel like Neo with the training programs in Matrix. It's the "give me more..." feeling. But enough for to day. 9 days left at stage 4.
RE: My way with AM6 - Spiritman - 06-19-2014
(06-19-2014, 01:28 PM)sebastian Wrote: Wow, this stage is huge. On the one side it brings a lot of anger to the surface. It's primaly about women and people I sense that there is something wrong. I think there is a lot of intuition, but I think it's also still some anger on past related things. And like in the first week some memories from past come to the surface, too, and make me sad.
I also started tapping in the last two weeks. I used to avoid it, because I had very similar things in mind which Ben mentioned in the tapping thread. I though, what if I tap feeling X or feeling Y away, and what if that feeling would normally have forced me to make a point and get a situation cleared. Then feeling X or Y were gone, but the situation remains. So I still avoid tapping on situations which I can solve in the normal way (at least I try to solve it). But I was tapping on lot of old stuff that came to the surface in certain situations.
The other side of this stage brings me to feel good about myself and very confident. The things start to feel more and more naturally. I am also even more unaffected by the BS of other people. For example one day I sat with a women at a table. We had a discussion and we had different opinions about certain things. She started to get louder and she got really bitchy. The people from other tables started to look at us. But it didn't matter for me. I didn't care about the other people and I felt unaffected by her bitchy manner. I still felt really calm. It was really cool.
Another day I was at the post office. A woman entered almost with me the shop. The woman at the desk asked if we are together. The woman who entered with me the shop looked at me, smiled and said in a flirty way "Not yet"
At this time it looks like I only meet two kinds of women. The ones who are smiling at me and who sometimes are even flirty. Or the ones who get quickly bitchy for no reason. Whyever... The last one are usually women I know already and who were usually nice to me in the past.
In comparison to the other stages, stage 4 seems to bring all the stuff from the other stages together. While stages 1 - 3 primaly made a shift in my feelings (and therefore a change in my manner, too), stage 4 forces me to live the teachings, too. It also brings me to really absorb the subs. I sometimes feel like Neo with the training programs in Matrix. It's the "give me more..." feeling. But enough for to day. 9 days left at stage 4.
I wonder how stage four is going to effect me, since in the past I had a serious anger problem. But since I have done AM every year, it has been reduce big time. Oh don't you just love those bitchy type of women, I just usually ignore them, they're not worth my time getting upset over their problem with themselves.
RE: My way with AM6 - SargeMaximus - 06-19-2014
(06-19-2014, 03:46 PM)spiritman Wrote: I wonder how stage four is going to effect me, since in the past I had a serious anger problem. But since I have done AM every year, it has been reduce big time. Oh don't you just love those bitchy type of women, I just usually ignore them, they're not worth my time getting upset over their problem with themselves.
You could always ask them what the problem is, listen to them rant for a few seconds, then say something witty and watch them laugh.
RE: My way with AM6 - Shawn - 06-20-2014
I wouldn't say I love bitchy women. But some time ago I read somewhere that the women who get more often bitchy are more in their feminine energy. Don't know if it's true, but if it is it would be an explanation why they sometimes appear attractive. And no, at least at this stage I don't really get upset if they become bitchy. It's more a wondering about their behavior change and a bit of the feeling that they trying to disrespect me. However, it's a good idea to make a point if the become and stay bitchy.
RE: My way with AM6 - Spiritman - 06-20-2014
(06-19-2014, 05:05 PM)SargeMaximus Wrote:(06-19-2014, 03:46 PM)spiritman Wrote: I wonder how stage four is going to effect me, since in the past I had a serious anger problem. But since I have done AM every year, it has been reduce big time. Oh don't you just love those bitchy type of women, I just usually ignore them, they're not worth my time getting upset over their problem with themselves.
You could always ask them what the problem is, listen to them rant for a few seconds, then say something witty and watch them laugh.
I will have to try that sometime
Stage 4, Day 32 - Shawn - 06-28-2014
Today is the last day of stage 4. Since last posting I've had a few days where I felt a little bit lost. But it disappeared pretty quickly. Besides of that there is not much more happened. I've had one day where almost all the guys were looking at me. Not in a way they are interested, but it was still strange.
Yesterday I had a crazy dream. I was in a car garage with someone and there were six big spiders. Five of them disappeared (I believe we killed them) but one had escaped. After that the scene changed, it was like someone want to make a movie out of this. We wanted to kill the last spider, it was a really big one, but we couldn't find them. Someone said that it will only show up when I don't expect it. However, I think the dream had something to do with fear, because I fear spiders (and big spider = big fear). But I don't know what it is. People? The life? Women? Well, the name of the last spider was "Guilia"...(yeah....f***ing crazy....), so maybe women. But I can't tell for sure.
Let's go to the summary. What did stage 4 bring to me?
- more confidence
- more wellbeing
- more positive attitude
- it looks like I am more approachable
- more value(?) (Don't know how to explain this one)
- refinement on the rest neediness
- care even less for unimportant things
- still caring for important things without being affected to much in a negative way
Some of the point are refinements from previous stages. However, I am happy to start stage 5 tomorrow.
RE: My way with AM6 - SargeMaximus - 06-28-2014
(06-28-2014, 07:28 AM)sebastian Wrote: Yesterday I had a crazy dream. I was in a car garage with someone and there were six big spiders. Five of them disappeared (I believe we killed them) but one had escaped. After that the scene changed, it was like someone want to make a movie out of this. We wanted to kill the last spider, it was a really big one, but we couldn't find them. Someone said that it will only show up when I don't expect it. However, I think the dream had something to do with fear, because I fear spiders (and big spider = big fear). But I don't know what it is. People? The life? Women? Well, the name of the last spider was "Guilia"...(yeah....f***ing crazy....), so maybe women. But I can't tell for sure.
Things you fear in dreams are aspects of your own personality you are afraid to let out.
Killing= trying to suppress/hide.
Disappearing could be that the aspects are no longer feared (probably integrated).
The reason why the spider will only show up when you don't expect it, is because our suppressed behavior only comes out under times of stress or high emotion.
RE: My way with AM6 - Shawn - 06-28-2014
(06-28-2014, 08:22 AM)SargeMaximus Wrote: Things you fear in dreams are aspects of your own personality you are afraid to let out.
Killing= trying to suppress/hide.
Disappearing could be that the aspects are no longer feared (probably integrated).
The reason why the spider will only show up when you don't expect it, is because our suppressed behavior only comes out under times of stress or high emotion.
Hm, interesting, where do you learned about such things? If you are right (and if the other spiders really disappeared instead to be killed) it might be something about aggression. Even if I got easily angry in the recent past, showing up really aggressive is usually the last thing I do.
RE: My way with AM6 - SargeMaximus - 06-28-2014
(06-28-2014, 08:37 AM)sebastian Wrote: Hm, interesting, where do you learned about such things? If you are right (and if the other spiders really disappeared instead to be killed) it might be something about aggression. Even if I got easily angry in the recent past, showing up really aggressive is usually the last thing I do.
I've studied Carl Jung's method of interpreting dreams/his take on psychology. In my opinion, it is the most accurate as it relies on the dreamer's personal life to interpret them rather than some generalization that "Dream Dictionaries" default to.
The reason a fear is an aspect of your psyche is another of Jung's angle on psychology called "The Shadow". Basically, whatever you hate and fear is a part of you that you hate or fear, while anything you admire or look up to is an aspect of yourself that is also hidden, but that you value highly.
This is why a lot of strongly anti-gay people are often found themselves to have homosexual desires/relationships, or why any crusader is inevitably found out to be a hypocrite.
Because of "The Shadow" we try to destroy the thing that we hate about ourselves by attacking it whenever we see it in other people, however, because it's part of us, it WILL manifest itself eventually, and there's no way around it. This is also why a lot of school shootings or murders were committed by "the quiet guy who loved everyone".
Jung said "whatever you resist, persists", and it's shown time and time again throughout history and in any/every situation imaginable.
RE: My way with AM6 - Shawn - 06-28-2014
Yeah, in my opinion dream dictionaries don't make sense, too. But I didn't know much about personal dream interpretation. I would have thought fears have just something with real fears in common and killing has something with overcoming to do. So I learned something new. Thanks.
RE: My way with AM6 - SargeMaximus - 06-28-2014
(06-28-2014, 09:50 AM)sebastian Wrote: Yeah, in my opinion dream dictionaries don't make sense, too. But I didn't know much about personal dream interpretation. I would have thought fears have just something with real fears in common and killing has something with overcoming to do. So I learned something new. Thanks.
Yeah it's generally a bad thing if you kill or attack your fear in a dream, since you are therefore still trying to kill/attack a part of YOU.
What you want is for it to either become an ally, not be there (disappear, or be "unfounded"), or be given a second chance, like if you forgive an enemy in a dream, that's a good sign.
For example, I recently had a dream where I was escorting some prisoners. We were attacked and the prisoners got loose, I was about to attack one of them but he killed the enemy soldier before I could, thus I knew he was on my side. Whatever he represented, that aspect of my psyche had clearly been integrated (no longer seen as something to attack or destroy).
Also, whether you can see the FACES of characters in a dream plays a HUGE role. In the case of my dream I mentioned, the soldier had a face, while the enemy did not.
Generally:
- If you can see/remember a character's face, they represent a part of you, whether they be male or female or animal. This is true even if you recognize the face or not.
- If you CANNOT see or remember their face, they represent a person/animal in the real world.
So, if you had a dream about your friend and could see his/her face, they represent the part of YOU that is most closely linked with how you see them (maybe they symbolize honesty or loyalty, for example). However, if you can't see their face, yet they play the role of a friend, they represent a REAL friend in waking life.
Anyhow, it's quite complicated, there's a lot to know. But once you do, dreams are easy as pie to decipher.
RE: My way with AM6 - Shawn - 06-28-2014
I see you know really a lot about it. That's cool.
RE: My way with AM6 - SargeMaximus - 06-28-2014
(06-28-2014, 11:59 AM)sebastian Wrote: I see you know really a lot about it. That's cool.
Yeah man, I've studied this. If you want to know something, it's best to get on the path to Mastery, and become an expert. Hacking is for common-folk, not us.