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+--- Thread: OFv2 - Only I will Remain (/Thread-OFv2-Only-I-will-Remain)
RE: OFv2 - Only I will Remain - NOMAD - 03-14-2021
(03-14-2021, 02:29 PM)THolt Wrote:(03-14-2021, 09:52 AM)NOMAD Wrote: Day 9
I feel like OFv2 is pushing me through a wall of sticky goo. I'll eventually bust through, but for now I'm just stretching the goo. I feel motivated, but I feel anxious about doing anything. I'm experiencing an odd push/pull effect that basically cancel each other out in terms of movement. I consider this to be a good sign. Something is being addressed. This sub isn't wasting any time.
Just wait until how you feel after the full 8 month period.
^^^ absolutely
RE: OFv2 - Only I will Remain - NOMAD - 03-14-2021
Day 9 (cont'd)
From an emotional perspective, today was one of the best days I've had in a very long time. I felt lighter, as if I had dropped a heavy load of emotional baggage. I experienced deep joy at certain times that I haven't felt since childhood.
I can't wait to see where this sub takes me as the layers of fear are peeled away.
RE: OFv2 - Only I will Remain - Aventus45 - 03-15-2021
(03-14-2021, 05:41 PM)NOMAD Wrote: Day 9 (cont'd)
From an emotional perspective, today was one of the best days I've had in a very long time. I felt lighter, as if I had dropped a heavy load of emotional baggage. I experienced deep joy at certain times that I haven't felt since childhood.
I can't wait to see where this sub takes me as the layers of fear are peeled away.
wow OFv2 works fast, damn. Cant wait to see how you are in a few months.
RE: OFv2 - Only I will Remain - NOMAD - 03-15-2021
Day 10
I started the day off experiencing waves of euphoria. It was amazing until the anxiety hit. It was bad enough that I played a full loop to help bring me down. It seemed to work, but not until after the loop stopped. I'm sitting in top of so much fear that increasing the number of loops might be in order at some point.
RE: OFv2 - Only I will Remain - RTBoss - 03-16-2021
(03-15-2021, 05:31 PM)NOMAD Wrote: Day 10
I started the day off experiencing waves of euphoria. It was amazing until the anxiety hit. It was bad enough that I played a full loop to help bring me down. It seemed to work, but not until after the loop stopped. I'm sitting in top of so much fear that increasing the number of loops might be in order at some point.
I had to increase the loops while running OFv2 adjacent to LTU6. It definitely helped. If you feel the need, intuitively, I'd listen to that closely.
RE: OFv2 - Only I will Remain - NOMAD - 03-16-2021
(03-16-2021, 06:18 AM)RTBoss Wrote:(03-15-2021, 05:31 PM)NOMAD Wrote: Day 10
I started the day off experiencing waves of euphoria. It was amazing until the anxiety hit. It was bad enough that I played a full loop to help bring me down. It seemed to work, but not until after the loop stopped. I'm sitting in top of so much fear that increasing the number of loops might be in order at some point.
I had to increase the loops while running OFv2 adjacent to LTU6. It definitely helped. If you feel the need, intuitively, I'd listen to that closely.
I'll definitely keep this it in mind.
RE: OFv2 - Only I will Remain - NOMAD - 03-16-2021
Day 11
Today has been a much better day for me. I haven't had any anxiety to speak of and my mood has been pleasant. I'm sleepy, but that could be because I've been waking up a little bit earlier to get some exercise in before starting my day.
Whatever fears I've been working on seem to revolve around my preteen years. I've been having memories from that time in my life resurface lately. The transition out of childhood can be rough for anybody, and being the sensitive kid that I was didn't make that transition any easier. It's really no surprise that this is the age of 'me' that's being targeted.
RE: OFv2 - Only I will Remain - NOMAD - 03-17-2021
Day 12
I added an extra loop to last night's playlist. That was 100% the right decision. I was even craving more input earlier. If that continues, I'll increase the loops to five after this ASRB2 cycle.
RE: OFv2 - Only I will Remain - NOMAD - 03-19-2021
Day 14
After increasing the loops to four, I haven't expected any anxiety. Sleepiness?...yes. Anxiety?...no. That's an acceptable tradeoff to me.
During the past couple of days, two females I interacted with were noticeably more open with me than usual. I actually thought one of them didn't like me very much, but she sure was attentive today.
RE: OFv2 - Only I will Remain - NOMAD - 03-24-2021
Day 19
OFv2 is bringing me occasional moments of clarity. This is difficult to describe. There are moments when I see things as they are instead of what I would like them to be. There are also moments when I look at things with acceptance instead of turning my attention away. In some cases, it's as if I've been looking at life through murky water which is receding to reveal what has been hidden from me.
I've been experiencing fatigue, but I finally realized that it has been self-induced and stopped it. Today, I felt good. I'm not consciously battling any major fears at the surface, but I'm aware of something deeper that hasn't fully made itself known. It's not uncomfortable at all. In fact, it's only in moments of stillness that I'm aware of it. Things are progressing smoothly.
RE: OFv2 - Only I will Remain - NOMAD - 03-31-2021
Day 26
My eating habits have changed for the better. I'm eating less without feeling hungry. I also naturally stop eating when I'm full even if there's food left on the plate. This is significant. For whatever reason, I've felt like leaving uneaten food was unmanly. It's possible that it stems from the fact that I've been able to eat more than my dad since I was 10 years old. Maybe I got a pat on the back for that and feared disappointing someone. I don't remember. This change began about 2 weeks ago.
My already anti social tendencies have increased. I've also been irritable. This all seems to stem from some painful experiences I had with close friends during my younger years. I recall feeling betrayed and on the verge of tears. It hurt. At some point in life, I learned to withdraw into myself.
In certain ways, I'm feeling more motivated. I have two home maintenance items to tackle in the near future. They just so happen to be two things I have feared for a while, so it's interesting that they're the two things that need to be addressed. I have a little bit of apprehension, but it's manageable.
I have strong desire to run a sex-related sub. It's possible that OFv2 is working on some related fears and my attention is being brought to the subject as a result.
RE: OFv2 - Only I will Remain - GreekGod22 - 04-01-2021
Quote:I have strong desire to run a sex-related sub.
Which are the options?
DMSI, NSFM?
There are also WM and SM, but if I remember correctly, these should only be run after AM6.
RE: OFv2 - Only I will Remain - NOMAD - 04-01-2021
(04-01-2021, 01:35 AM)GreekGod22 Wrote:Quote:I have strong desire to run a sex-related sub.
Which are the options?
DMSI, NSFM?
There are also WM and SM, but if I remember correctly, these should only be run after AM6.
None of them are options until I finish my 8+ month run of OFv2. I stated that desire as an indicator of my internal state and nothing more.
RE: OFv2 - Only I will Remain - ncbeareatingman - 04-01-2021
(04-01-2021, 05:37 AM)NOMAD Wrote:(04-01-2021, 01:35 AM)GreekGod22 Wrote:Quote:I have strong desire to run a sex-related sub.
Which are the options?
DMSI, NSFM?
There are also WM and SM, but if I remember correctly, these should only be run after AM6.
None of them are options until I finish my 8+ month run of OFv2. I stated that desire as an indicator of my internal state and nothing more.
Man ,NOMad,I just wanna tell ya ,fella,that I have so much respect for your commitment ,fortitude and determination with this whole thing. as the pass around saying goes " YOU Rock!" keep up the good work,Nomad.
As Col.Greivous said to Obi Won, " Obi won, YOU ARE a BOLD ONE!"