(03-05-2019, 08:41 PM)FluffyBunny Wrote:

(03-05-2019, 01:21 PM)Broski Wrote: LTU 5 -Day 9(3rd day of second on cycle)

I'm really struggling right now....I don't know if it is reversal residence or what, but it feels like I am running ANITLTU 5. Emotionally, mentally, physically, romantically, you name it and it has all pretty much went downhill since about Day 2 of this new version(There are however a few good new habits I started that i will mention at the end of the post). I feel kind of like how one of the members in Shanoons journal discussion mentioned they had been feeling on DMSI. Like fear and emotional distress was coming up and just sitting there for me to stew in. Ive had this hot burning sensation in my chest and it sometimes move up into my throat and other areas that i keep focusing on along with different negative accompanying thoughts. I try to rationally tell myself it means nothing and logically dismantle it, but it only seems to be working to a limited degree thus far.

I ended up having to break this off with the girl I had been seeing and its been tough the last few days without her. We have texted non stop for multiple months straight and would see each other multiple times a week for many hours, and I know this might not seem like a lot compared to people that have been in long term relationships for awhile, but even in this short time span I have honestly connected with this girl more than  ANY other girl by FAR that I have just been friends and befits with  over these past 7 years since my last gf. I felt truly appreciated by her and while she wasnt my typical type appearance wise felt a strong connection to her and had a lot of fun with her.

She felt trapped though in a position where she couldnt choose between her ex and I and didnt want to hurt or lose either of us from her life. She had been with him for over a year, and ever since they broke up last year was trying to work things out with him.  He would show her a little promise and then back off again. Then when he learned about me he got really jealous and wanted to date her again, the thing she had been waiting for all along.  She was struggling with great emotional turmoil for what to do. I had to put my own selfish feelings aside of wanting her to pick me, and I could understand from her point of view it was a pretty ***** position and she felt bad for even putting me through it and didnt mean to. Like I mentioned before though we just started with the intention to be friends with benefits and I knew she was talking to her ex all along, but as timed passed I actually started considering dating her and she started really liking me as well. Right around the time I was contemplating if I should ask her to be my girlfriend or not is when this ex came back into the picture and decided he wanted to try things again with her.

So the past two weeks after that we were just trying to figure out what to do with the whole situation and I just realized that what i thought was best for her and I was if I just stepped out of the equation. I told her to just go and see if things would work out with him because that was what she was waiting for for a long time and finally got the opportunity, and as long as he was still in the picture nothing could really come of us. It was hard, but I believe it was the right thing. So I have also been dealing with the after effects of that.

Some I suppose positive things to note however is I did switch a few habits, I cold turkey stopped caffeine on sunday and despite taking a LARGE daily dose I really didnt notice much of a difference besides slightly less energy. I got no withdrawl effects which I thought was pretty cool and peculiar because I always had in the past. So I am at least happy that coming off of that hasnt seemed to negatively impact me as much as I thought it would.

I also stopped looking at my phone first things in the morning before my morning routine. I now take my morning supplements, take a contrast shower, and do some yoga first. These were some habits ive been meaning to instill but havent been able to consistently implement. I actually think with her being out of the picture and the emotional/mental distress ive been experiencing were both motivating factors for me to do this to improve myself and lesson these symptoms.

Now Im just hoping I will soon come out of this emotional/mental fog and get back to a more poitive feeling and thinking orientation. During TID for both LTU4 and 5 there were moments where I was feeling pretty awesome, and want to get back to more of that.

Sounds like you really like her and she likes you too. Why not give it a chance? Maybe you will like her even more after?
do you really think she wants to go back to her ex... i think that was just your excuse of pushing her away.
Pretty sure she likes you more.
Base on your words the feeling I got is you do like her and will end up missing her...
it's not like you have to get married or anything.
just ask yourself would you regret this decision, the feeling of regret is the worst i hope no ones has to go through it.

(03-06-2019, 12:39 PM)Broski Wrote: Hey guys I really appreciate all the input! I DID really start to like her and I know she really liked me too, but she still had feelings for her ex as well who popped up and finally offered her what she was waiting for and then she couldnt make up her mind between the two of us. I was just tired of stringing this thing along and not getting what I wanted out of the relationship anymore as well as I saw the great stress it was causing her, so with both those things in mind is why I decided o back off. It didnt seem like the right thing to do for me to just unhappily wait for her to make up her mind and possibly choose me. She just texted me last night asking how I was and we exchanged a few texts. I was honestly happy to hear from her because I missed talking to her, but at the same time I almost told her hey, I just really dont want to do this whole texting or talking thing anymore which I basically already alluded to when I broke things off. I needed up just not responding to one of her texts instead though. A part of me does wander if I made the wrong choice and should have stuck it and see if we coulda worked things out cause I seem to care about her this much. Idk, maybe if it is meant to be things wont work out with her ex and she will come back and realize I was the better choice for her.

(03-06-2019, 12:39 PM)Broski Wrote: Hey guys I really appreciate all the input! I DID really start to like her and I know she really liked me too, but she still had feelings for her ex as well who popped up and finally offered her what she was waiting for and then she couldnt make up her mind between the two of us. I was just tired of stringing this thing along and not getting what I wanted out of the relationship anymore as well as I saw the great stress it was causing her, so with both those things in mind is why I decided o back off. It didnt seem like the right thing to do for me to just unhappily wait for her to make up her mind and possibly choose me. She just texted me last night asking how I was and we exchanged a few texts. I was honestly happy to hear from her because I missed talking to her, but at the same time I almost told her hey, I just really dont want to do this whole texting or talking thing anymore which I basically already alluded to when I broke things off. I needed up just not responding to one of her texts instead though. A part of me does wander if I made the wrong choice and should have stuck it and see if we coulda worked things out cause I seem to care about her this much. Idk, maybe if it is meant to be things wont work out with her ex and she will come back and realize I was the better choice for her.

(03-06-2019, 03:47 PM)FluffyBunny Wrote:

(03-06-2019, 12:39 PM)Broski Wrote: Hey guys I really appreciate all the input! I DID really start to like her and I know she really liked me too, but she still had feelings for her ex as well who popped up and finally offered her what she was waiting for and then she couldnt make up her mind between the two of us. I was just tired of stringing this thing along and not getting what I wanted out of the relationship anymore as well as I saw the great stress it was causing her, so with both those things in mind is why I decided o back off. It didnt seem like the right thing to do for me to just unhappily wait for her to make up her mind and possibly choose me. She just texted me last night asking how I was and we exchanged a few texts. I was honestly happy to hear from her because I missed talking to her, but at the same time I almost told her hey, I just really dont want to do this whole texting or talking thing anymore which I basically already alluded to when I broke things off. I needed up just not responding to one of her texts instead though. A part of me does wander if I made the wrong choice and should have stuck it and see if we coulda worked things out cause I seem to care about her this much. Idk, maybe if it is meant to be things wont work out with her ex and she will come back and realize I was the better choice for her.

I dont understand the whole, " It didnt seem like the right thing to do for me to just unhappily wait for her to make up her mind and possibly choose me." why are you waiting for her to choose you? It sounded more like she was waiting for you to STEP UP and make up your mind and tell her you want her. Why should she choose to be with you when she cant even trust you. you dont even have the strength to make up your mind on a decision. 

When you are wishy-washy, like you half want her but then half dont even know what you want... obviously shes gonna choose someone else.
"Idk, maybe if it is meant to be things wont work out with her ex and she will come back and realize I was the better choice for her."  Re-read your own words, see how indecisive you are being.

(03-06-2019, 04:13 PM)Broski Wrote:

(03-06-2019, 03:47 PM)FluffyBunny Wrote:

(03-06-2019, 12:39 PM)Broski Wrote: Hey guys I really appreciate all the input! I DID really start to like her and I know she really liked me too, but she still had feelings for her ex as well who popped up and finally offered her what she was waiting for and then she couldnt make up her mind between the two of us. I was just tired of stringing this thing along and not getting what I wanted out of the relationship anymore as well as I saw the great stress it was causing her, so with both those things in mind is why I decided o back off. It didnt seem like the right thing to do for me to just unhappily wait for her to make up her mind and possibly choose me. She just texted me last night asking how I was and we exchanged a few texts. I was honestly happy to hear from her because I missed talking to her, but at the same time I almost told her hey, I just really dont want to do this whole texting or talking thing anymore which I basically already alluded to when I broke things off. I needed up just not responding to one of her texts instead though. A part of me does wander if I made the wrong choice and should have stuck it and see if we coulda worked things out cause I seem to care about her this much. Idk, maybe if it is meant to be things wont work out with her ex and she will come back and realize I was the better choice for her.

I dont understand the whole, " It didnt seem like the right thing to do for me to just unhappily wait for her to make up her mind and possibly choose me." why are you waiting for her to choose you? It sounded more like she was waiting for you to STEP UP and make up your mind and tell her you want her. Why should she choose to be with you when she cant even trust you. you dont even have the strength to make up your mind on a decision. 

When you are wishy-washy, like you half want her but then half dont even know what you want... obviously shes gonna choose someone else.
"Idk, maybe if it is meant to be things wont work out with her ex and she will come back and realize I was the better choice for her."  Re-read your own words, see how indecisive you are being.

I guess I didnt explain the whole situation but when she told meabout her ex wanting to get back with her I brought up that I was considering dating her, and even said if I asked you to be my gf would you be able to leave him behind and she said she didnt know right now. Nothing was going anywhere and we weren't even able to continue with our friends with nbefits relationship I was enjoying so much and I didnt see thing being abe to go back to normal or progress with him being in the situation so that felt like the best thing for both me and her to do. I feel I DID man up in this case and chose the hard but right path

(03-06-2019, 04:21 PM)FluffyBunny Wrote:

(03-06-2019, 04:13 PM)Broski Wrote:

(03-06-2019, 03:47 PM)FluffyBunny Wrote:

(03-06-2019, 12:39 PM)Broski Wrote: Hey guys I really appreciate all the input! I DID really start to like her and I know she really liked me too, but she still had feelings for her ex as well who popped up and finally offered her what she was waiting for and then she couldnt make up her mind between the two of us. I was just tired of stringing this thing along and not getting what I wanted out of the relationship anymore as well as I saw the great stress it was causing her, so with both those things in mind is why I decided o back off. It didnt seem like the right thing to do for me to just unhappily wait for her to make up her mind and possibly choose me. She just texted me last night asking how I was and we exchanged a few texts. I was honestly happy to hear from her because I missed talking to her, but at the same time I almost told her hey, I just really dont want to do this whole texting or talking thing anymore which I basically already alluded to when I broke things off. I needed up just not responding to one of her texts instead though. A part of me does wander if I made the wrong choice and should have stuck it and see if we coulda worked things out cause I seem to care about her this much. Idk, maybe if it is meant to be things wont work out with her ex and she will come back and realize I was the better choice for her.

I dont understand the whole, " It didnt seem like the right thing to do for me to just unhappily wait for her to make up her mind and possibly choose me." why are you waiting for her to choose you? It sounded more like she was waiting for you to STEP UP and make up your mind and tell her you want her. Why should she choose to be with you when she cant even trust you. you dont even have the strength to make up your mind on a decision. 

When you are wishy-washy, like you half want her but then half dont even know what you want... obviously shes gonna choose someone else.
"Idk, maybe if it is meant to be things wont work out with her ex and she will come back and realize I was the better choice for her."  Re-read your own words, see how indecisive you are being.

I guess I didnt explain the whole situation but when she told meabout her ex wanting to get back with her I brought up that I was considering dating her, and even said if I asked you to be my gf would you be able to leave him behind and she said she didnt know right now. Nothing was going anywhere and we weren't even able to continue with our friends with nbefits relationship I was enjoying so much and I didnt see thing being abe to go back to normal or progress with him being in the situation so that felt like the best thing for both me and her to do. I feel I DID man up in this case and chose the hard but right path

That's good you were true to your intentions. There's this idea that sometimes lot of guys misunderstand I'm not saying you do but just in case you did here it is.
if you really really like her. its also ok to chase and pursue her. its also ok to prove to her that u actually want her to be your girlfriend. it's not beta at all to do this in fact it is very attractive especially for a girl that you already have a decent level of intimacy with already.
anyways decisions are already made, best of luck in the future

(03-07-2019, 01:38 PM)Shannon Wrote: Choose self respect over a woman.  Every time.  I think walking away was a good choice.  If she wants you, she should really want you.  Going after a woman who was in that position in the first place wasn't a good idea.