+- Subliminal Talk (https://subliminal-talk.com)
+-- Forum: Men's Journals (18+ NSFW) (https://subliminal-talk.com/Forum-Men-s-Journals-18-NSFW)
+--- Forum: Men's Journals (https://subliminal-talk.com/Forum-Men-s-Journals)
+--- Thread: Darwin’s Journal (/Thread-Darwin%E2%80%99s-Journal)
RE: Dawin's Journal USLMax - Shannon - 10-19-2018
(09-30-2018, 01:54 PM)Darwin Wrote: Something occurred to me today - while meditating and going about things I came into a state where I was completely enough as I am and had no need for anything external to my self - it made me wonder whether a big issue with subs might be just that much of the time we’re doing them on the premise that something is fundamentally wrong, and it has to be fixed. The more we execute the more contrast there is to that something wrong and the more I end up bouncing back at some point.
On life tune up I noticed that ‘hope’ was in there as a potential entrant - hope for what I wonder - hope seems like an unhelpful projection into the future and again contains a seed of something very wrong. Don’t know if that makes any sense to y’all.
Anyway - back on learning python and making solid progress. At this rate I would be done with my course by the end of the month and will be Up and running with my trading algorithms
By the end of the year.
It amazes me how you guys seem to find a way to frame EVERY positive thing as a negative.
RE: Dawin's Journal USLMax - Darwinn - 10-19-2018
Shannon, I love you man, but chill. Its not super useful for me to go on about how amazing your subs and the mad ways my life has changed because of them (which I've done a fair bit already I think), add to that, the anticipation for LTU is overwhelmingly positive. With the greatest respect taking one comment and framing it as everyone framing every positive thing as negative is a tad extreme.
My comment on hope stems from my personal experience of presence and how positive that can be; as well as how negative it can be to be stuck in a forward projection or forward expectation which brings me out of presence. I don't know the definition of hope as you intend it. Hence it's a question, and a description of my perception - rather than an attempt to reframe a positive as a negative.
RE: Dawin's Journal USLMax - Darwinn - 10-22-2018
just got a $100 on a little trade activity. Unlike the previous version it didn't feel this time like it was just pure luck - it felt like it was from solid action taken which was prompted by the US side. Whether this is true or not, it's consciously more acceptable to me so I'm unlikely to self sabotage. I'm starting to feel strong again after a period of just feeling like a happy go lucky light weight - Partly because I'm revisiting the basis for self esteem which I have been ignoring and I am paying better attention to my needs.
I will apply to one of those jobs I wrote about today. Let's see.
RE: Dawin's Journal USLMax - Darwinn - 10-27-2018
USLM2 is continuing to reach deep inside me (lol) and drag shit out of the depths whilst making everything around me just incrementally better. I have a bunch of people at work around me and paying attention to what I’m doing who didn’t before , people seem to be smiling at me randomly which is odd, on the train, on the street sometime people at work who I’m just passing by.
Yesterday I had a challenge where I needed to do a lot of work before a meeting -(for context these meetings are a big deal where I am) , I was drastically behind schedule due to being ill during the week , and although I have been over sleeping and extra tired of late I got up at 5 am and had to get out of bed and straight to work. I worked solidly for 6 hours (which I e never done) and went through the meeting with ease (and even some aggression). In the process of preparing for it I developed a new mode of analysis which is going to make my job a whole lot easier.
I’ve never been able to do sleep phones but this time I am and it seems to be working well. I know somehow I’m not executing fully and there is still some deep fear there. I’m looking forward to getting it dealt with.
RE: Dawin's Journal USLMax - ncbeareatingman - 10-28-2018
(10-27-2018, 01:35 AM)Darwin Wrote: USLM2 is continuing to reach deep inside me (lol) and drag shit out of the depths whilst making everything around me just incrementally better. I have a bunch of people at work around me and paying attention to what I’m doing who didn’t before , people seem to be smiling at me randomly which is odd, on the train, on the street sometime people at work who I’m just passing by.
Yesterday I had a challenge where I needed to do a lot of work before a meeting -(for context these meetings are a big deal where I am) , I was drastically behind schedule due to being ill during the week , and although I have been over sleeping and extra tired of late I got up at 5 am and had to get out of bed and straight to work. I worked solidly for 6 hours (which I e never done) and went through the meeting with ease (and even some aggression). In the process of preparing for it I developed a new mode of analysis which is going to make my job a whole lot easier.
I’ve never been able to do sleep phones but this time I am and it seems to be working well. I know somehow I’m not executing fully and there is still some deep fear there. I’m looking forward to getting it dealt with.
Thanx for sharing all this Darwin. much appreciated Man and I can sooo relate. there are some deep deep fears being hit upon,drug up and are slowing being dissolved in the light of day,some faster than others but definitiely doing so. I can see how down the road in certain programs how the blend of healing & clearing will REALLY help tremendously,right along with the FRM v2/FRMv3. H &C doing "The Clean Up" left over by the 'core' fears and related. USLM2 is one of thee best thus far,Subs I've ever used
In addition to this... this whole right place ,right time thing going on...
there have been musicians,artist,writers,whomever..who were 'dying' for a break through,dying to meet &connect with the "right" people who could help them change thier destiny,change thier lives.... and many many of them have said in so many words..." I was prepared, I Just happened to be in the right place at the right time". chance favors the perpared,as the saying goes.
MY Point is,that many a live have been changed by being in the right place at the right time,doing what is needed for " that" to happen with them. I Believe that USLM2 is going to help many of is who are using it to be able to do some of that,if not entirely so!!
Alas, Game Changer! Life Changer! MY Life will be at a totally different level a year from now. I ,also am deeply hoping that BAMM will be out by then and that it too will included all of whats in USLM2+.
RE: Dawin's Journal USLMax - Darwinn - 10-30-2018
Level up: New fear revealed, the more success I get and the greater ease I feel the harder it will be when it disappears. I have been trying to control the amount of success I experience or attempt to feel like it is in my control so I don't experience too much and end up feeling pain as a result. It's clear I'm slowing down execution because of this fear.
This fear feels like something stuck in my throat - kind of like the feeling you get when on the verge of crying.
RE: Dawin's Journal USLMax - Darwinn - 10-30-2018
(10-30-2018, 06:28 AM)Darwin Wrote: Level up: New fear revealed, the more success I get and the greater ease I feel the harder it will be when it disappears. I have been trying to control the amount of success I experience or attempt to feel like it is in my control so I don't experience too much and end up feeling pain as a result. It's clear I'm slowing down execution because of this fear.
This fear feels like something stuck in my throat - kind of like the feeling you get when on the verge of crying.
There is a way to unlock this fear from my being - I don't know what it is. Also combined with this, and possibly at the root of this is a strong, I guess limiting, belief that there are constraints on existence, a balance and a destiny, that when the will is directed at pulling too far in one direction creates an equal and opposite rebound in the other direction. There is a harmony to be established through grace and acceptance of what is and the will should be diverted to this rather than the desires of the ego.
I mean what the hell. Where does this come from.
RE: Dawin's Journal USLMax - Darwinn - 10-31-2018
I'm noticing stares from people, particularly women - which is odd given there is no aura projection, possibly just in my head?. Quite a few people have complemented me about how important and central I am to things, the hard side is I'm being given larger and more difficult challenges to tackle so work is growing. Nevertheless I'm very positive and dare I say it excited by the opportunities being presented to grow.
an extra $30 from yesterday from a trade and a $500 additional discretionary bonus from work have come into my account today.
RE: Dawin's Journal USLMax - Darwinn - 11-04-2018
It’s a weird contradiction
Right now I am a beast, I am working every day to the point of exhaustion. In a sense I’ve taken too much on. I got told that in a group of 6 other people at my level where I work, 80% of the work was being done by me. On top of that I’m doing a side venture which over the next two months should net me a good amount of extra cash which will be used to help a member of my family.
However , in spite of working and achieving so much I feel detached from myself, unsure and Unconfident, I am more reactive to what others think and say - and at the moment I don’t feel like I’m doing things driven by my values and deep inner purpose, my IQ doesn’t feel as high as before so I’m not processing what I’m dojng very well and am doing things somewhat inefficiently. It feels a little like this is why I’m getting more exhausted than I should be.
Just feeling kinda empty - in spite of achieving so much.
RE: Dawin's Journal USLMax - Shannon - 11-04-2018
Just make sure you take at least one day off to rest.
RE: Dawin's Journal USLMax - Darwinn - 11-06-2018
Man can’t wait for USLM 3 - USLM 2 was interesting, less enjoyable but more potent than 1. On 2 there was far less autopilot cleaning the place and bumping into people I needed, I some how ended up doing so much work but not on things I wanted to do - how my unconscious did this I don’t know - anyway the journey continues.
RE: Dawin's Journal USLMax - Darwinn - 11-07-2018
for the first time I've downloaded the flac version and am using a flac player on my iphone.
I have to say this v.3 is feeling smoother/less overwhelming.
RE: Dawin's Journal USLMax - Darwinn - 11-07-2018
Oh hells yes.
So far running USLM 3 like coming back home to myself - I was feeling really manic and pushed and lost, with v. 3 it feels almost like it has a stronger element of SE.
Added to which I’ve started taking much more productive action I can’t describe it and right now I just wanna chill so I will provide more of an update later.
RE: Dawin's Journal USLMax - Darwinn - 11-09-2018
You know you’ve been living a subliminal self development life style for a long time when a headache and deep tiredness makes you happy because something is being worked on. That’s what happened yesterday.
So basically the main thing from USLM3 so far is i'm feeling much more centred and taking better action. What I mean by that is I’m not frantically rushing, im setting realistic goals which are aligned with keeping me going longer and doing things from a place of ‘this is what I want’ versus ‘this is a what I have to do’ , the latter is very clearly fear motivated, and I feel like that’s what had me working but feeling miserable on USLM2. Like I said , version 3 is like coming home to myself.
Thank you Shannon.