(09-18-2016, 08:37 AM)Why So Serious? Wrote: Woke up this morning angry and frustrated. I was thinking about the programming homework that I can't get and the job. Then it hit me that I have a fear of failure. I knew I had it but I could never pinpoint what areas of my life it affected.

So how do I work on that?

So far I keep telling myself it's okay if I fail. It might only be this project and the rest will be okay. Even if it isn't it's still okay. As long as I don't give up and give it my all it will be okay.

I'm not sure if that's the right way to go about it. Any suggestions?

(09-19-2016, 06:49 AM)mat422 Wrote:

(09-18-2016, 08:37 AM)Why So Serious? Wrote: Woke up this morning angry and frustrated. I was thinking about the programming homework that I can't get and the job. Then it hit me that I have a fear of failure. I knew I had it but I could never pinpoint what areas of my life it affected.

So how do I work on that?

So far I keep telling myself it's okay if I fail. It might only be this project and the rest will be okay. Even if it isn't it's still okay. As long as I don't give up and give it my all it will be okay.

I'm not sure if that's the right way to go about it. Any suggestions?

Sounds good to me. If you want to take it a step further there is no such thing as failure, only a constant journey of learning from our mistakes. It's better to do your best and make mistakes than avoid things because of a fear of failure.

(09-24-2016, 07:59 AM)Why So Serious? Wrote:

(09-19-2016, 06:49 AM)mat422 Wrote:

(09-18-2016, 08:37 AM)Why So Serious? Wrote: Woke up this morning angry and frustrated. I was thinking about the programming homework that I can't get and the job. Then it hit me that I have a fear of failure. I knew I had it but I could never pinpoint what areas of my life it affected.

So how do I work on that?

So far I keep telling myself it's okay if I fail. It might only be this project and the rest will be okay. Even if it isn't it's still okay. As long as I don't give up and give it my all it will be okay.

I'm not sure if that's the right way to go about it. Any suggestions?

Sounds good to me. If you want to take it a step further there is no such thing as failure, only a constant journey of learning from our mistakes. It's better to do your best and make mistakes than avoid things because of a fear of failure.

Okay to good to know I'm on the right track.

I'm still on break from E2 and I'm enjoying it. I still have my ups and downs but I'm starting to feel the sub settling in. No not everything is worked on but I'm okay with that for the time being.

I'm starting to figure out when I'm being negative and trying to prevent it. I just don't know how yet. I guess I would have to start cutting people out of my life. I'm not sure there is a nice way to do it.

I'm back to listening to self improvement books. Thought that would never happen.

I have my moments where I get close to family where I'm open. It's only last a moment but I'll take it. Better than being closed off all the time. I'm asking how certain people are doing. I'm thinking about other family members now and what's going on with them.

I actually felt like something deep got sorted out earlier today. I just don't know what it was.

I seem to be having difficult time coming to terms with the degree I'm getting. I always saw myself being an artist but I have to honest with myself it's something I could do for a living. I should have got the hint when I was running MLS when both of my wrist starting hurting. Still hurts my feelz. I know I can do it if wanted to. I would just be miserable if I did.

That means that folks are right whatever you naturally gravitated to when you were young is something to consider when making a choice about careers. Kind of depressing in a strange way. I guess because I didn't see myself this way. I also should have taken a hint from Mark Mansons blog post where he ask how would you rather suffer.

This going to take some time to accepting this part of myself.

(09-26-2016, 04:42 PM)Why So Serious? Wrote: I was thinking about that earlier this year but I feel like it's time to lay off it for a few months just so I can get through my head that it is a hobby. For some odd reason when I start drawing I start thinking about it as a career. Then I get depressed and stop drawing. It's a never ending cycle.

(09-28-2016, 04:36 PM)Why So Serious? Wrote: I'm still trying to find a balance. I'm starting to think that drawing and computer science aren't really that different. Not these completely separate entities. Your trying to solve problems in both just a different set of problems. At least that's my weird logic.
I'm studying Computer Science.

I really hate being empathetic. I've just realized that I'm absorbing this coworkers stress and negativity. I got to learn how to break away from that.

(09-29-2016, 07:08 AM)mat422 Wrote:

(09-28-2016, 04:36 PM)Why So Serious? Wrote: I'm still trying to find a balance. I'm starting to think that drawing and computer science aren't really that different. Not these completely separate entities. Your trying to solve problems in both just a different set of problems. At least that's my weird logic.
I'm studying Computer Science.

I really hate being empathetic. I've just realized that I'm absorbing this coworkers stress and negativity. I got to learn how to break away from that.

My mind works like that too. Always finding similarities between things no matter how different. I think it's because there are a lot of universal concepts that can be applied to anything. I think that's good for computer science too because a lot of programming is how interconnected everything is. You'll be able to notice patterns easily.

I used to have the same problem with empathy. It really is a gift when you use it to understand and help people that are close to you. But when you don't set boundaries it gets really chaotic. Luckily since running E2 I've gained the ability to sort of shut it off when I'm around people. So I think E2 will take care of that for you also.