(11-04-2012, 05:05 PM)benjamin Wrote: Awesome post. I was saying to a friend the other night that if he is comfortable with not drinking when somebody tries to criticize and sticks to it that people will eventually accept it.

But it is annoying these idiots trying to bring you down by saying that stuff when you are confident. Getting to the point where you just don't care sounds amazing. I have had times of that but it unfortunately isn't yet a consistent thing.

Quote:You'll get there. I started off being so afraid of everything in life and so pathetic and beta that I am now dumbfounded at how that person could be me. My tactic back in the day was to be too pathetic for anyone to feel was worth picking on. (Didn't work.)

Now I find myself doing things on a routine basis that I could not have hoped to do just a year ago. And I am actually living my life a lot more than I used to.

(11-04-2012, 09:23 AM)Shannon Wrote: When I walk into a bar, I order a coke (or a coke and lime, if I want people to think I am drinking alcohol) or more frequently, I order an iced tea.

I also walk in alone 99% of the time, and I sit down at the bar and drink my iced tea and usually eat dinner. Alone.

And while I am doing so, I talk with the people around me and flirt with the bartenders and have a wonderful time.

Because I truly, genuinely don't give a flying **** what anyone else thinks of me.

In fact, I would say that the perception that someone doing this is a loser actually stems from their own insecurities being pointed out by the confidence of the person doing it. Think about it. If I can walk into a bar and drink iced tea while everyone else is drinking beer and liquor, and I can eat dinner by myself and STILL have a great time talking to everyone around me and flirting... and you have to drink alcohol and be in a group to feel confident enough to go do something similar... isn't my confidence going to irk you, since you don't have enough to do the same?

And what's an average person in those shoes going to do? Not try to become more confident... oh, no. They try to tear down the more confident guy!

But here's the thing. Since I don't care what they think, I don't care what they say. Or do. I'm there to have a good time, talk with people and enjoy a nice dinner, not impress people or kiss butt. And as long as I enjoy myself talking to people and having a nice dinner, I have achieved my goal and nobody else's opinion warrants consideration or value.

So you can stop worrying about whether people will think you're a loser, because the Golden Rule of socializing states:

No matter what you look like, someone will think you're a 1, and someone will think you're a 10 and a whole bunch of people will think you're a 5. And the same goes for any other aspect of what other people think of you - some will think highly of you, some will think lowly of you, and most will not care.

The key to success is ironically to not care what they think, because caring what they think puts the cart before the horse. The vast majority of people are actually sheep. They want to be told what to think. So they look to YOU to see what they should think of you, and if you say, "Well what should I think of myself, based on your opinion?" in return, they're going to think you're a loser (because who asks a sheep to lead the shepherd?) or they're going to manipulate you into being their thrall ("Only losers do XYZ, so if you want me to hang with you, you'll do what I say is cool.")

Instead, what you need to do is think for yourself, pick what you want to think of yourself, and then stick to that, regardless of what other people think, and when you do that you'll see a very different response. Most people will take your cue and think of you what you think of yourself! And the rest will usually either just not care, or be jealous and try to (that's right!) tear you down.

In the end, nobody else's opinion of you matters, because you are your own man, and you decide what and who you are. Let the rest eat cake.

P.S. - Hunting in packs doesn't wok very well. I have found that it is always most effective to hunt alone.

(11-04-2012, 07:56 AM)Tiesto Wrote:

(11-04-2012, 07:35 AM)Javier Gerardo Wrote: My dream was to become an entrepreneur but a lot of things internally and externally have hindered me from becoming one.

Well, that's another one of our similarities, lol!

All the best to you too.

(11-04-2012, 05:05 PM)benjamin Wrote: Awesome post. I was saying to a friend the other night that if he is comfortable with not drinking when somebody tries to criticize and sticks to it that people will eventually accept it.

But it is annoying these idiots trying to bring you down by saying that stuff when you are confident. Getting to the point where you just don't care sounds amazing. I have had times of that but it unfortunately isn't yet a consistent thing.

(11-08-2012, 12:25 PM)Shannon Wrote: Hunting alone accomplishes a few different goals all at once.

First, it shows indisputably that you are self confident. A man alone is always going to be more socially vulnerable, and when he can do that and still be relaxed and have a good time, she will know he has his shit together at a deep level. He's not faking it.

(11-08-2012, 12:25 PM)Shannon Wrote: Second, it makes it much easier for any woman so inclined to approach YOU. Nobody really enjoys approaching groups with the intent of targeting one person in the group, even if they know how and can successfully do so. With women being so unlikely to approach a man to begin with, why would you throw away the majority of the precious few opportunities you do have by scaring her away with a group of people?

(11-08-2012, 12:25 PM)Shannon Wrote: Third, it increases your freedom to do as you please. You don't have to worry about "Oh, Sarah has to leave at midnight because she has work in the morning," if you happen to have the day off tomorrow, and you're the driver.

(11-08-2012, 12:25 PM)Shannon Wrote: Fourth, it reduces competition. If you go hunting, even with a wing you know and trust, your wing may end up the target of your target's interest, instead of you. If you're alone, there's less chance for that to happen. And if you happen to have someone who is actively trying to compete or block you in your pack... well, all the worse still.

And fifth, it makes you more agile. You can adjust to a situation more quickly, readily and easily, going places and doing things more fluidly and effectively.

(11-09-2012, 09:31 PM)Shannon Wrote: AM 3G? AM hasn't been built in 3G since... 2009 I think? 2010 and 2011 were 4G, just as 5.0 is. It sounds like you would benefit from running OF and then doing AM again, or possibly WM.

(11-09-2012, 09:31 PM)Shannon Wrote: Just to clarify, I'm not saying that if you're going to get into a competition, it's better to get into one with a friend. I'm saying it's better not to get into a competition at all, friend or otherwise. Here's why.

When you are competing with someone else for a woman, you are making two mistakes. The first mistake is that you are putting her value above your own. The second mistake is that you are competing for her.

A man who has high value has options. Always. A man who has high value never needs to compete. In fact a truly high value man will not compete for the attention or affection of a woman. His point of view is, "If I am interested, and she wants to be with me, she'll act like it." For this man, a woman is with him because SHE wants to be... not because he needs her to be.

When a man competes for a woman, he is saying with his actions that she has greater value than he does, because it is he who must compete for her. If he was of higher value, she would be competing for him. What woman wants a man of lower value? I'll tell you two kinds. Broken women, and sexist women. And they are frequently one and the same. She wants a man of lower value so she can dominate and control him. If that's what you want, also, by all means. But if you want to have a woman's respect, you will never allow her to dominate or control you.

Competing for a woman is what betas and lower value males do, because they don't have (or don't think they have) options. Without options, every woman becomes much more valuable than his self assessment of value, and he assumes the submissive low value role.

Competing for a woman isn't just a sign of low value and low self esteem, it's a sign of insecurity. If you must compete for her, she does not really value you, and you as a strong man should have the attitude that - again - if she wants to be with you, she'll act like it. If she doesn't... walk away. You are better than that. You have more value than that. And you have options, which are obviously better than she is at that point.

So competing for a woman is a waste of your time and energy, time and energy that could be spent locating and enjoying the company of a woman who genuinely wants to be with you.

Never compete for a woman. Doing so only devalues you and tells her she can play around, and favorites. It says to her that you are weak and insecure, so she can play around and instead of walking away because you don't put up with crap like that, you'll compete for her out of desperation. And that desperation is probably why she's looking at other guys in the first place. She sees you're weak and desperate and wants a man who isn't.