Subliminal Talk

Hi there,

I'll cut to the chase directly. I feel that I have somewhat an impaired sense of self, due to growing up with a mother with narcissistic tendencies who has somewhat seen me as a mean to her happiness, which I believe have restricted my ability to develop my own world view and individuality. Thankfully I grew up with an amazing dad which have probably saved me from being totally f*cked. But my question is, which sub would you recommend for helping build up a solid sense of self? I am using E2 right now and it have helped me recover from depression and starting to get back some sense of self (together with other things like exercise and meditation). My plan right now is to continue use it until the ASC 6.0 is released, and potentially switch to E3 if that comes out beforehand.

EDIT:
What I want is to reach a level where I can fully be myself, not being affected by my narcissistic mother, enjoy the company of my dad fully (as I don't think he has to many years left), realize myself, enjoy being me. Hope you get the picture. I think that guilt is a big part of this - I heard a talk about narcissistic mothers in where on saying was "The overbearing sense of guilt will disable you from feeling like you can live life on your terms" and I think that really have shaped my view on life.

Sounds like you're using the right program, and switching to E3 when it comes out is a great idea.

Possibly Self Esteem, but from what you're saying I think E2 is better as it has alot more healing, where Self Esteem just contains that one focus. E3 will definately be a step up for you, i'd say keep using E2 until then, with E2 a week or so break is fine before moving on because it was before P6.

(11-18-2018, 01:39 PM)Benjamin Wrote: [ -> ]Sounds like you're using the right program, and switching to E3 when it comes out is a great idea.

Possibly Self Esteem, but from what you're saying I think E2 is better as it has alot more healing, where Self Esteem just contains that one focus. E3 will definately be a step up for you, i'd say keep using E2 until then, with E2 a week or so break is fine before moving on because it was before P6.

Ok thanks! I'll keep going on then.

My grand plan is E2 -> E3 -> ASC -> AM7

E2 have taken me internally to a whole new place in just 6 months, I can't phantom where I will be in 2 years. 6 months ago I was suicidal and felt like there was no way out, now I am almost OK just being alive, and starting to be able to see a future for myself. Thanks for your great work.

Awesome, glad to hear it's helped you so much.

Yes, that makes my day!

Greenduck,

I can completely relate to giving up "you" for your mom's well-being. And the guilt trying to separate from her. My own mother is still a full-time alcoholic, still swimming in circles emotionally and relationally, and seeing the failed attempts at change. Guess what I learned? The very same, even fighting for it in times past.

I did E2 for 3 months recently, and I had some clear emotional revelations at times. My actions make more sense now. And I'd not be where I am now without E2's help. I'm on USLM3 now, but I'm finding I'm needing emotional "training" once again, so I'm wondering about E3 myself now.

By the way, I've read emotional healing books heavily in my 30+ years of recovery seeking. My main reason I've avoided them for maybe 3 years now is FEAR and old subconscious standards. So, I learn, and deny. Learn...and deny/avoid the truth, even creating stories why I "shouldn't" change.

I thank my Rule 4 character for IML. Fear is a dream killer

Oh, and BTW, I vote to have elements of ASC put into E3. Not believing in myself, and seeking others to do this for me, feels like victim mentality crap to me. Having faith in my own abilities IS emotional health.