I had pretty much decided on making USLM4 already, but after reading this, I see it will do good for you guys to have access to it in more ways than I thought. Definitely going to release USLM4 now. It's not just about the FRM upgrade, it's also about the other modules I added in DMSI that support it in really powerful ways. Thanks for clarifying that decision for me.
(12-14-2018, 06:41 AM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]I had pretty much decided on making USLM4 already, but after reading this, I see it will do good for you guys to have access to it in more ways than I thought. Definitely going to release USLM4 now. It's not just about the FRM upgrade, it's also about the other modules I added in DMSI that support it in really powerful ways. Thanks for clarifying that decision for me.
@
Shannon
This really complicates my decision now between choosing USLM4 or USM. Both will have FRM 4.2 amongst other technologies. Decisions decisions decisions.....
(12-14-2018, 07:31 AM)THolt Wrote: [ -> ] (12-14-2018, 06:41 AM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]I had pretty much decided on making USLM4 already, but after reading this, I see it will do good for you guys to have access to it in more ways than I thought. Definitely going to release USLM4 now. It's not just about the FRM upgrade, it's also about the other modules I added in DMSI that support it in really powerful ways. Thanks for clarifying that decision for me.
@Shannon
This really complicates my decision now between choosing USLM4 or USM. Both will have FRM 4.2 amongst other technologies. Decisions decisions decisions.....
First world problems, right?
(12-14-2018, 01:42 PM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ] (12-14-2018, 07:31 AM)THolt Wrote: [ -> ] (12-14-2018, 06:41 AM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]I had pretty much decided on making USLM4 already, but after reading this, I see it will do good for you guys to have access to it in more ways than I thought. Definitely going to release USLM4 now. It's not just about the FRM upgrade, it's also about the other modules I added in DMSI that support it in really powerful ways. Thanks for clarifying that decision for me.
@Shannon
This really complicates my decision now between choosing USLM4 or USM. Both will have FRM 4.2 amongst other technologies. Decisions decisions decisions.....
First world problems, right?
Exactly. I’m leaning toward USM but I wonder how quickly it will work. I know it’s not a get rich quick (I’m not expecting it to be). Perhaps it will depend on one’s own financial goals.
(12-14-2018, 06:41 AM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]I had pretty much decided on making USLM4 already, but after reading this, I see it will do good for you guys to have access to it in more ways than I thought. Definitely going to release USLM4 now. It's not just about the FRM upgrade, it's also about the other modules I added in DMSI that support it in really powerful ways. Thanks for clarifying that decision for me.
I haven't been sure how to reply. I cried originally. I took a walk after, and cried on and off, more for release.
I finally went to the river around 3. I almost talked myself out of it (old thinking) but knew I'd regret it deeply later. So I went.
I had a cup of coffee before going to calm fears rising (thinking about possible scenarios).......so that may be why I walked so long. I knew I was processing something as well, for I walked 2 full hours, a real rarity for me. I haven't cried in weeks, and with high power subs, they change me so much internally, so quickly, that tears are one form of stress release.
I'll share this one connection I had which made me cry. My first route was on a public dock, where I've gone for Rule 4 talks by myself a few times while on subs. There was a small flock of birds resting on the dock, but purposefully facing the Northerly wind so they'd avoid resistance. I walked up and sensed my (scared) entitlement mentality: "I'm a human, I'm in charge, so you should move for me." Well, something struck me, as I've felt small and completely dependent on other people's niceness many, many times. I identified with it, and I slowed down, gingerly walking through them. This connection is what made me cry, seeing myself symbolically in those weaker birds. I noticed I'd not really scared them much at all when I slowed down, which made the connection more real for me. I saw they were beautiful (brilliant colors), but still completely ready to react to me, whatever I did. I didn't need to show force to get what I wanted. I kept eyes on other birds after that.
I also saw 2 different women, at different times. Both were 50+, so I'd dismissed both in my head. And I realize now I'd let my fear speak for me. It said when I saw them: "TOO OLD! YOU MIGHT GET HURT!" My entitlement was kindly ignored, and I felt it. This got my attention: fear is not friendly. I felt lonely and sad after this, and I'd only been walking 20 minutes so far. The rest of the walk was an attempt to feel confident again.
I look forward to the 4.2 upgrade, which will be in LTU 5.5.
I remembered a image in a dream waking up this morning, an hour ago. Still tired, I stayed in bed. I was reading journal threads, someone mentioned a dream, and this came back to me.
It feels strange now, but waking up, I wasn't shocked or anything. In fact, I remember being drawn back to the image mentally. Like my mind was trying to get my attention.
I saw chimpanzees in a wild jungle, just being themselves. But one, not even their leader, was wearing a white navy captain's suit, white hat and all. It didn't strike me as strange at first. But being drawn back, I remember hearing (or feeling) this slow awareness that "this is odd".
I don't know what this is. But as I've written, it's happening again. I think it's pointing at my denial, over many things. Even now, I saw in my mind an image of my brain, and barely visible layers are being taken off by a see-through robot character. A sense of relief and accomplishment comes with this imagination.
Denial is how I've survived around abusive or dishonest people. I never confront. I've used this my whole life, since children use this to survive parents who they depend on. I did. I'm still using this, as it's how I handle Ghetto Guy at work.
And as I sit here imagining him or my own mother, I use it to avoid and deny the fear which comes when around them. I said I never confront. Something inside me said "it's not safe". Fear is trying to "protect" me. I'm losing words now. Unsure why.
I have a question for Shannon.
I just read my old SE 5.5 thread, and by just reading it, I was uplifted a lot. I felt good on SE. It was my fear which pulled me off it. Old lifelong fears.
My question: Since you will have the full scripts of SE and others inside LTU, how will this be different vs. just having the skeleton scripts running?
My imaginations of what will happen are based on my experience on E2. It has the full script for PTPA, and I relied on it showing up regularly in my attitude and thinking. I felt good and competent to handle life, and due to its influence, I became less wary of old fears rising. It was often a perpetual state of feeling good, showing up inside me and expressing itself through speech and actions.
Additionally, I'm thinking the SOPS(?) will allow whatever script is needed most to have its focus there. Since it'll be such a large script collection, I'm unsure how it'll respond.
Edit: I realize noone really knows yet how it'll manifest in each person's life. I'll rest knowing something good is coming.
And on a personal note, I am bothered by myself seeking "more, more, more" lately. Why? Because whenever I seek more, it's primarily out of feeling afraid I won't have enough, and with that thinking going, nothing satisfies me. I can get desperate, greedy, and very selfish, and it's all due to fear I'll be without when it's time to receive.
This fear can spread to other areas of life quickly too. I lose peace for days, and it leaves me with regret.
Maybe this apology is to myself. If so, it is. I'm going to change my thinking now.
I am going to journal something I just realized I was doing. Hiding it causes more problems.
Ok, so I'm home on a Saturday, day 2 of my time off for vacation. I've felt unworthy and unwanted--old understandings of myself--and I've reached out to at least 2 people online who I've gotten to know some in the last 2 years.
What began stressing me is a maneuver I do where I put on this personality for him, and another one for her. Wow--just realized something....
My stress is from the one male I've reached out to. I'm seeking to earn his acceptance, just like with other males--and I am doing it here now. Constantly trying to avoid rejection and abandonment (which is tied to childhood memories)
That's been stressing me, me having to juggle masks AND........ feel confident, or at least fake it, while I
BS. Confidence? WTF is that when I'm lying to you or anyone else? I say "BS!" to myself when I do that. Lying to myself has always required a lot more lying
.
Due to me lying to myself, I've not trusted myself setting clear goals on USLM, but I do know that sane living (by not being stuck in fear 24/7) is a major desire of mine. Which is why I ran E2 and stuck with it. I wanted FREEDOM.
No rushing Shannon
....I'm just trying to keep myself honest, and this is one avenue. I HATE being in this game. It. Takes. Too. Much. Damn. WORK!
I feel drained just admitting that. Going to go join my 2 guy friends for our money game.
major goal?: I seek to be honest with myself. (relief tears came with writing that)
Edit: This is day 1 of my sub break
(12-15-2018, 12:16 PM)findingme Wrote: [ -> ]I am going to journal something I just realized I was doing. Hiding it causes more problems.
Ok, so I'm home on a Saturday, day 2 of my time off for vacation. I've felt unworthy and unwanted--old understandings of myself--and I've reached out to at least 2 people online who I've gotten to know some in the last 2 years.
What began stressing me is a maneuver I do where I put on this personality for him, and another one for her. Wow--just realized something....
My stress is from the one male I've reached out to. I'm seeking to earn his acceptance, just like with other males--and I am doing it here now. Constantly trying to avoid rejection and abandonment (which is tied to childhood memories)
That's been stressing me, me having to juggle masks AND........ feel confident, or at least fake it, while I BS. Confidence? WTF is that when I'm lying to you or anyone else? I say "BS!" to myself when I do that. Lying to myself has always required a lot more lying .
Due to me lying to myself, I've not trusted myself setting clear goals on USLM, but I do know that sane living (by not being stuck in fear 24/7) is a major desire of mine. Which is why I ran E2 and stuck with it. I wanted FREEDOM.
No rushing Shannon ....I'm just trying to keep myself honest, and this is one avenue. I HATE being in this game. It. Takes. Too. Much. Damn. WORK!
I feel drained just admitting that. Going to go join my 2 guy friends for our money game.
major goal?: I seek to be honest with myself. (relief tears came with writing that)
Hey man don't beat yourself up about it. I really relate to what you've wrote here. One trap that I constantly fell into was me thinking "I should be better than this". A lot of us have built up defense mechanisms to keep us safe in life or what the subconscious perceived as safety. It takes a bit to remove these. Shannon's subs are fast, but it still takes time. During that time just know you'll improve and be easy with yourself. Despite how it feels, we didn't really choose a lot of this behavior so blaming ourselves for falling back to old ways and longstanding habits only causes us more stress that we don't need.
You're definitely making progress. I just think, like me, when a lot of this stuff is brought to the surface there's a tendency to get attached to it before you let it go. But you will let it go, sometimes it takes a slight detour before you get there.
(12-15-2018, 06:10 AM)findingme Wrote: [ -> ]I have a question for Shannon.
I just read my old SE 5.5 thread, and by just reading it, I was uplifted a lot. I felt good on SE. It was my fear which pulled me off it. Old lifelong fears.
My question: Since you will have the full scripts of SE and others inside LTU, how will this be different vs. just having the skeleton scripts running?
The skeleton script does nothing without the Key and Core scripts. They are supported by, and guide, the skeleton script. Having SE in the skeleton script adds that scripting to the program, along with whatever the Key and Core script are aiming to accomplish. It is used to achieve and support the Key and Core scripts. So to whatever degree you need self esteem to achieve them, that will be the result.
Quote:My imaginations of what will happen are based on my experience on E2. It has the full script for PTPA, and I relied on it showing up regularly in my attitude and thinking. I felt good and competent to handle life, and due to its influence, I became less wary of old fears rising. It was often a perpetual state of feeling good, showing up inside me and expressing itself through speech and actions.
Additionally, I'm thinking the SOPS(?) will allow whatever script is needed most to have its focus there. Since it'll be such a large script collection, I'm unsure how it'll respond.
SOPS works to cause the script to self optimize for each person.
I realized this morning that I am hanging on to my past. I'm starting to see it, and feel it, very clearly.
I was in the women's threads, and I got on Quote's USLM thread. Her husband is becoming irritable after sex, she asked for help to figure out why, and a few guys gave comments and suggestions.
Well, I almost replied. Twice. The more I thought of my own history with my wife with bad sex, the more I realized.......I've not wanted to disrupt my own normal thinking on it. Or her, my now ex-wife. Like I'm living in some uncomfortable fantasy, but stirring it--or myself--is what I'm afraid of. For myself, I was emotionally tied to my mom, it'd hit me during sex with my wife, and it'd kill passion. Fear of unearthing that to my wife--or to myself--kept me silent and distant. Sex became nothing more than.....quick and distant.
I felt shame regarding hanging on to my past since.........I am ashamed. Well ......, I'm "shoulding" on myself. To go on in life, one "should" let go of their past. I have been following Jake2015's progress......and I sensed some similarities. ****. To go on, I must let go. I'm here for those powerful tools to do that, these subliminals.
My actions....... I've realized I've not done any 12 step meetings on USLM or much healing actions outside of subliminals. I own some EMDR software, which often quickly focuses my thinking and mind, shockingly so. I'll pull it up today, for even 10 minutes running it will keep me aware of some of my internal truths.
The people factor is something I could ask for help with. The old self-protective "I don't want anybody to really know me" stance has been active lately, and being around people (in meetings) often compliments other healing activities.
My goal is emotional healing. I'm looking forward to LTU, I have funds for it, so that's why I'm sharing this. Without my history being just history, I'm constantly looking back. I'm getting some of USLM's affects, but my ultimate goal is emotional healing--to not be handcuffed to my past. In time I may see how to keep such a goal with USLM; fear presently blocks me looking too much at my current mindset. In fact, a PTPA may help me see that clearer, especially when I don't think I've changed much so far.
But that's what came up this morning. Maybe USLM is working on this (?). Hmmm...
This is my 2nd day of the sub break. I'm stirred up.
(12-15-2018, 12:49 PM)mat422 Wrote: [ -> ]Hey man don't beat yourself up about it. I really relate to what you've wrote here. One trap that I constantly fell into was me thinking "I should be better than this". A lot of us have built up defense mechanisms to keep us safe in life or what the subconscious perceived as safety. It takes a bit to remove these. Shannon's subs are fast, but it still takes time. During that time just know you'll improve and be easy with yourself. Despite how it feels, we didn't really choose a lot of this behavior so blaming ourselves for falling back to old ways and longstanding habits only causes us more stress that we don't need.
You're definitely making progress. I just think, like me, when a lot of this stuff is brought to the surface there's a tendency to get attached to it before you let it go. But you will let it go, sometimes it takes a slight detour before you get there.
I re-read this after just posting this morning's thoughts. You named my thinking patterns pretty spot on. I'm on a "detour" today. And thinking (out of habit) that being hard on myself will make things "better". (NOT!)
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts here Mat.
(12-14-2018, 01:42 PM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ] (12-14-2018, 07:31 AM)THolt Wrote: [ -> ] (12-14-2018, 06:41 AM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]I had pretty much decided on making USLM4 already, but after reading this, I see it will do good for you guys to have access to it in more ways than I thought. Definitely going to release USLM4 now. It's not just about the FRM upgrade, it's also about the other modules I added in DMSI that support it in really powerful ways. Thanks for clarifying that decision for me.
@Shannon
This really complicates my decision now between choosing USLM4 or USM. Both will have FRM 4.2 amongst other technologies. Decisions decisions decisions.....
First world problems, right?
I respect your 'dilemma' of sorts,but I AM VERY CLEAR on what I want to use ,coming up n out next year and that is Ultra Monetary Success. I definitely need to step up my game on that level and those levels,infact. IM glad that both programs USLM4 & USM will contain FRM 4/2. awesome news ,as well as,the new tech' stuff that will be contained in each one,though they may be different technogies accordingly,still,updated,advanced tech's.,nonetheless.
Shannon, I just cooked a variation of my fatty recipe. I used chicken instead of veggies though. It's simple.
1 stick of butter
1 pound cream cheese
1/2 cup sweet onion
2 cups cooked chicken (I used a rotiserie chicken I bought Friday)
Lowrie's Seasoned Salt
Saute the onion with the butter and salt, add in the cream cheese, heat it and stir it, and finally add the chicken.
Great stuff. I might have added bacon, but I only have Canadian bacon--and it was frozen. Next time. I even took a picture on my phone. And I sauteed the onion in my microwave, the first time I did that. In fact, this whole recipe was microwaved.
It was a nice perk to my evening. I enjoyed that!