After 2 or 3 months of E2 with awesome results, more positive, hopeful and motivated, it's time to deal with all my success blocks (which are many). The last 10 days i have been consistently using visualizations and hypnosis to change my success and money mindset. Currently, i am 26 yo, recently graduated in law but i don't want to follow this path, i don't really know what i want to do to earn money but i know it has to be with people, psychology, self-development, holistic therapies etc. I have major success blocks that prevented me to dream big (or dream at all), for some fucked up reason i was kind of assuming i would be a failure in life(like a hippie or something) and was masking my limiting beliefs with spirituality assuming that an enlightened person(my biggest goal in life is to "reach" enlightenment) shouldn't worry about material things and one should be completely happy independent of any external circumstances like one should be perfectly happy as a homeless person if it was the case. I came to the conclusion that i was bullshiting myself with all of this, although one should focus primarily on internal growth, money, career, comfort is always welcome and i need it to be independent and free to pursue spirituality doing retreats, workshops, having time to meditate, contemplate etc. Not to mention that i need money to help my family (which is mostly a big mess) and to have kids in the future.
Right now i am looking for a job while practicing my massage skills (until i am able to earn money doing massage). I am also learning about digital marketing (would love some material suggestions), i plan to have a blog or youtube channel teaching about self-help in the future and i need some skills like marketing and public speaking (planning to do some courses, join a group or create one or doing acting classes in order to improve my speech and communication).
Day 1:
I listened today for the first time as i sleep, 5 loops of masked version. I had some weird dreams/nightmares during the night, i remember one, in particular, that was terrifying, basically, i spent a lot of time trying to escape a big scary monster that looked like the incredible hulk with 4 arms like
Goro from Mortal Kombat, this means something. Woke up feeling drained, my head was heavy and still is, i am not thinking clearly yet, 5 loops seems too much but i will try for a few more nights to see. Aside from my brain fog, i have not noticed anything.
Day 2:
5 loops and i had a restless sleep, woke up with brain fog, with a heaviness in my head, it's hard to concentrate, ungrounded as fuck, hadn't felt this way in a few months, looks like a low dose LSD trip (without the fun part). Took a nap this afternoon but the symptoms I think that the 5.5g programs are too much for me, i usually can't handle lots of loops. I will listen to 4 loops today.
Day 7:
First break today. I am loving this sub, really changing my pattern of thoughts, making me more positive and hopeful, working out every day (i path through a lazy/depressed phase recently and didn't wanna workout although i have been doing it consistently for 10 years), doing lots of hypnosis and visualizations, finally saw the benefits of this and i am pushing it to the limits, yesterday i may have been visualizing for two hours (i am substituting my meditation practice), reading and listening about success and lots of plans are coming to my mind. Last two days have been a rollercoaster, a pendulum between high on life and thinking that everything isn't going to work out. Feeling lots of fear surfacing, especially game(pick up) related fears like fear of abandonment (just realized how big this is in my life), i fear rejection which leads me to sabotage all my relationships and end up alone. Last year i practiced pick up a lot and had some success but it all went away pretty fast, and i had lots of trouble keeping (quality) girls in my life, it was common that the beautiful ones lose interest as soon as they get to know me, which was a blow to my ego (fear of abandonment) and looking back i see how much i sabotage every interaction. The thing is: i am a good looking guy with a good shape, nice posture, voice and personality of a pseudo-alpha, it's common that people see me as alpha (but deep down i have horrible self-esteem issues) so it only makes me more fearful since it gives me so much expectation to be good with women. Right now i am having a massive approach anxiety coupled with extreme difficulty in showing emotions (like sexual interest) and this is bothering me a lot lately, i should be a king among women but i SUCK SHIT and it kills me. Coupled with the fact that i am 26 yo and completely financially dependent of my family, nothing career related yet (only plans) which is a true blow to my self-esteem, i am finding really hard to feel alpha when i can't be independent at this age.
For some reason, i am waking up everyday like 5:50 am which never happened. Today i woke up this time with lots of fear and anxiety (fucked up my diet the last two days).
Ian, you can be independent and alpha and successful with women. You just need to do the right things to accomplish that. And the first thing to do is to remove the fear that stands in your way, which you are working on.
Understand that it is a process. The fear will fight for it's life. In the end, it will fail and be replaced. Just remember the tidal effect, basically taking steps forward. You're making progress, and that's all you could ask for. Keep going.
(11-19-2018, 12:58 PM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]Ian, you can be independent and alpha and successful with women. You just need to do the right things to accomplish that. And the first thing to do is to remove the fear that stands in your way, which you are working on.
Understand that it is a process. The fear will fight for it's life. In the end, it will fail and be replaced. Just remember the tidal effect, basically taking steps forward. You're making progress, and that's all you could ask for. Keep going.
I feel the fear fighting for it's life! Every time i try to change, install a habit, read more etc, i have huge ego backlash the next day and "skip" that day which perpetuates the life i want to change.
Day 10:
My second day of the second cycle, today i feel absolutely awful, negative, anger, depression, hopelessness, full of pains all throughout my body. I am having lots of bad dreams the last two days, i remember that in one of them i was trying my best to protect a child (a female, which remembers a little cousin of mine) at all costs from somebody. I interpreted as my subconscious trying to protect my hurt inner-child from change. I absolutely SUCK at self-discipline, i often try to install good habits but failed every time. I feel like a leaf in the wind, going with my emotions, i really hope this program help me with this.
I am visualizing a lot the past few weeks and i noticed that when i do it, often i have an ego backlash the next day that makes me backslide back to my old habits, it's quite frustrating.
Day 28:
The sub is going strong, having a lot of "high on life" moments. Started the job i wanted (visualized a lot working on this specific job), it's quite challenging since is a high-end clothing store and i have to be on the top of my game. Two days ago my training was over and i was selling for the first time when a client entered and she bought like 20 units of clothes (the average is 1-3 per sale) which generated a huge bill, everyone was super impressed and the manager was happy as fuck lol I also visualized that. So, the Law Of Attraction really works.
I noticed that people are extra nice to me, when i walk on the street everyone stares at me, most look down when looking into my eyes, it's kind of a celebrity aura, super weird but i am loving it. Feeling confident lately, waking up early without even trying, growing in ambition, positivity etc.
I am cleaning up my diet, staying away from drugs and alcohol which is optimizing my brain and wellbeing with nice energy levels although i can't sleep as much as i am used to because of the waking up early thing(5-6am). Feeling smart, as though i believe more in my ability to succeed at everything.
Yesterday i fucked up my diet, went to my usual vegan restaurant but was packed so i bounced looking for another place to eat, i failed to find a healthy place and i decided to go for junk food. I ate at KFC and went to work, a couple hours later my brain just SHUT DOWN, i had a huge brain fog, sleepy, anxious and dumb. I already knew the effect of fucking up my diet has on my brain but this time was so obvious, especially compared to previous days of work that i was able to have a good performance (energy, sharp, good mood) but when i ate junk food i worked like 20% of capacity. Later i decided to fuck up MORE to have an even bigger impact so i could have a stronger insight (this is how i generated my best insights throughout my life, by fucking up more and just being aware of the effects) so i ant a big meal at McDonald's and as i ate and observed people around me eating similar things, i had the realization that if i want to rise above this average shitty life i have to do what the average joe doesn't do. If the average person does something, it's a generally good principle to do the OPPOSITE. As i was observing i thought to myself: man, those people look miserable as fuck, just plain brain dead, lacking all sorts of positive traits like aliveness, ambition, happiness, hunger for success and a deep life purpose.
Man, i just can't imagine a big achiever acting like that. Today i woke just plain NUMB, huge brain fog, lacking motivation, anxious, zero focus/concentration, just awful.
It is fucking hard to have a strong determination and be your own guide into this huge pile of shit that i call the average person life. I just don't know anyone in person that i could get along to succeed at life. All i have is internet role models (thank GOD for them) so is difficult to keep on the track since i am walking mostly alone while everyone is going the opposite side calling and seducing me every step of the way.
FUCK THIS SHIT. I am fucking tired of the average life, i want to unleash all my potential, i want to do extraordinary things, i want to be an inspiration for others like me that need a light to guide them out of the sea of shit. 100% commitment, i am a leader, i am my own inspiration.
My job contract is for 45 days and at the end, i will finally be able to buy a big program like AM6 or BASE. It's a really tough decision. I need them both but i am tending to start with BASE since getting financially independent and venture into entrepreneurship is an urgent thing for me BUT at the same time, AM6 will build a strong foundation (i don't really see myself as a MAN and i would love to get naturally good with women as one of my main goals is to develop my game and be able to approach any girl, any time, anywhere with confidence) and lots of people report huge improvements in their financial life, career etc. I have some time to decide and would love some suggestions.
Day 29:
This is my last post for this sub. I was planning to buy AM6(decided to start with it) and use it in February but an unexpected sales started and i just bought the sub, although i could have paid way less if i had waited a little, now there is nothing that i can do but focus on the future. I now it isn't good to jump subs, i planned to use USLM for 3 months but i truly believe that AM6 is everything i need at the moment. I will start on January 1st (giving 21 days of break, i know it is 35 but i am just too excited to wait so long).
As USLM is concerned, i loved this sub, it really put me on another level, i have never been so hopeful, positive and ambitious in my life, lots of strikes of luck (even "bad" situations that i am grateful because it could easily got way worse than it went), "high on life" moment, confidence, calm, magnetic etc.
For example:
Last night i picked up my father at the airport and was driving home when a drunk driver just crashed hard at my side (drivers door), he lost control and went out of the road but i managed to regain control and stop the car safely. Me, my father and one female friend got out of the car and went to the place where the other car was, when we arrived, my father started to film everything while several people were trying to help the drunk driver get out of his car and at this moment, several people (later we found out that they were friends of the drunk driver that was following him on the road) started to scream, curse and threaten him to stop filming shaming him saying shit like he is heartless for filming the situation (the driver was not hurt or anything) and that he should only take a picture and get the fuck out. My father lost his shit and started screaming back to them and a couple started to get really aggressive, screaming and getting in his face, the men claimed that he was a cop (suggesting that he was armed to scare us) and i just took charge of the situation, i was completely cool while everyone was losing their shit getting extremely aggressive, including my father that i was trying to calm down the whole time. This couple tried to attack my father aiming for his phone and i just physically shove them both away asking them to calm down saying that they won't touch him. The woman had to be constrained by some people that were watching the whole thing, the man got inches from my face screaming and treating to beat the shit out of me while i remained unfazed, completely cool and almost ignoring him like a little child throwing a tantrum. Remember that the whole time several people were threatening us implying that they had guns with them and was just me and my father against 5 or 6 people. An uber driver put the drunk driver on his car to get him away from the scene before the cops show up because he could be arrested for drink and drive. My father was still filming everything and the uber driver tried to attack my father and again i just pushed him every time he attempted to get close, screaming and cursing and also implying that he had a gun. Finally another friend of the drunk driver showed up calm and sober and tried to talk with us in a civil manner, i again took charge and negotiated with him since he was asking to us to not post the video anywere saying that his friend (the drunk driver) will pay for everything.
The thing is: this was a real dangerous situation, if i wasn't there, my father would have been beaten or even killed by an angry mob because of his lack of emotional control but i kept my cool and defused the situation like a champion. Really proud of myself.
Can't wait to see myself in a few months of AM6
