Totally jumped aboard the hype-train and going to spend this month USLMaxing. I did have a serious suspicion for some time that I've been experiencing TID-effects of this these past several weeks.
NOTE: Still have about 13 days of DMSI ver. 3.2 P6 to go after I stopped actively listening to it.
Started running the program, took a nap. Had lucid dreams, did stuff while I was at it. Pretty much a continuation of what I've been doing lately albeit focused on various aspects of myself. Everything seems to indicate that this is going to work. Experienced some fear during and after waking up, manageable though; nothing more than a light spook, like as if something heavy dropped to the floor unexpectedly and made a loud sound.
I'm noticing I am experiencing the emotion of doubt. Doubting myself. But - I am in the process of coming to terms with it. I mean, doubt itself is not a bad thing; it is impractical, though, and may lead to preemptive self-sabotage due to the fear of "but what if I'm wrong?" The practical approach would be: conceptualize a thing, do a thing, test it, question it while you're testing it (analyze it), check results, repeat until you've got what you were setting out to do. Simple.
I am also noticing I am somewhat, I dunno, radicalizing in my approach to life, and in my thoughts and ideas. A lot of the doubt I am experiencing is related to this. "What if I am taking this fierce a stand, and then it turns out that I was wrong?" So-called common sense would indicate I'm bonkers.
But "common sense" is an idiot, isn't he?
By the by, this is happening real fast. I am in the middle of loop 4. Hybrid Trickling Stream/Silent, FLAC, headphones. Considering purchasing an audio player gizmo of some sort to be better able to play 6 loops/day when on the go, preferably with portable mini speakers of some sort so that I can play the ultrasonic track when moving about without the need for earplugs. In the interim, I can use my phone, but the battery's shite, so better plan ahead.
"What if I'm wrong?" Is fear based doubt.
It should fade away.
Day after listening to the first loops. Feeling good. I think it's working under the hood, continuing what's begun as I was listening to the program.
I have some rehearsals and two shows next week, it's going to be interesting to see what USLMax does in a professional setting and my Bardic practice.
I was feeling kinda on-edge as I was listening to the loops yesterday, a little bit tense, as if expecting trouble, but was a bit tired and went to sleep after the second one and listened to the rest while asleep. A lot of thoughts going on in my head, seems like, but I think FRM is doing what it's supposed to be doing.
Found a portable audio player that can do FLAC, but it's a little bit on the expensive side, gonna look for a deal or an off-brand knock off that can do the same.
At first I thought to kill two birds with one stone and just purchase a digital sound recorder (as I could use one anyway for Bardic practice) with a built-in HQ speaker, but that's not going to work due to the fact 'em digital sound recorders are not really meant for prolonged playback. Going to buy one anyway, just focus on the recording quality instead of the speaker. Had a fairly decent one several years ago, but I lost it.
Found several interesting portable bluetooth speakers that would have the functionality I'd be looking for (mostly: enough frequency band to do ultrasonic, small enough that I can comfortably carry it in my pocket/on my belt, durability), but the battery time is lacking (I'm going for ~10hrs, the ones I found can go up to 6 according to specs). Gonna keep looking.
If I remember correctly blutooth speakers are contra-indicated, because most of them will use a lossy compression to get the audio signal from your device to your speakers. That's pretty much the same as compressing the FLACs to MP3 yourself - which should be avoided according to Shannon.
(10-14-2018, 08:53 AM)hsindermann Wrote: [ -> ]If I remember correctly blutooth speakers are contra-indicated, because most of them will use a lossy compression to get the audio signal from your device to your speakers. That's pretty much the same as compressing the FLACs to MP3 yourself - which should be avoided according to Shannon.
Crap.
I'll look into it. Worst case scenario gonna have to go for a non-bluetooth one and figure out a way how to carry it on my person together with the player comfortably.
(10-14-2018, 09:23 AM)Have at ye Wrote: [ -> ] (10-14-2018, 08:53 AM)hsindermann Wrote: [ -> ]If I remember correctly blutooth speakers are contra-indicated, because most of them will use a lossy compression to get the audio signal from your device to your speakers. That's pretty much the same as compressing the FLACs to MP3 yourself - which should be avoided according to Shannon.
Crap.
I'll look into it. Worst case scenario gonna have to go for a non-bluetooth one and figure out a way how to carry it on my person together with the player comfortably.
Look into this phone: Motorola z with jbl speaker mod (add on).
Credit goes to @
Ryu for this who suggested this to me when I had to decide upon UMOP 11 or 5 loops.
This phone with those speakers plays 20khz. So figure how to play and carry with yourself if possible. Hope this helps.
I use Bluetooth for anything not DMSI. I'll take convenience over perfection anyday. I doubt it's affected anything, myself. Just recently had great results using E2, and now I'm using ultrasonic exclusively through a Bluetooth speaker.
The simplest solution would be to run MP3, then. According to what I learned on the Interwebz, if both the source and target devices support the format, then the Bluetooth protocol does not apply additional compression (from Bluetooth 4.0 onward at least). Unless they're designed crappily and re-encode stuff "because".
I'll look into it. There's no hurry - going to need this in two weeks' time at the earliest.
Thanks for the suggestion, Jake2015, but I'm not looking to buy a new phone right now.
As we're on the subject of auditory pleasures, time for a little musical interlude, as the music I'm drawn to is usually quite telling as to whatever the hell's going on in me brain:
Item one: Dark Tranquillity, "Dream Oblivion", from the "We are the Void" album. Check the lyrics:
http://www.darklyrics.com/lyrics/darktra...oid.html#2 - no, really, do. They're good lyrics, very relevant to various ideas I've been developing recently. The song's on the heavier side, though.
I was listening to this song yesterday in the evening, and experienced an extremely strong state-shift as I was at it, for a good ten minutes. Totally katharsising it up. Felt *good*.
Item two: W.A.S.P., "Harder Faster". I'll not link the lyrics, as the title makes the content rather self-evident, I think.
Never even listened to this particular song before, just noticed it on "youtube recommends" and pressed play because I liked the title. Can't stop listening to it now, haha.
OK, last night's listening was not exactly easy, as some fears I was already aware of started coming up experientially, child-thinking level survival-based fears, but I noticed that I was a) fighting them logically [EDIT: and sometimes... not quite logically. F. in. had this thought "but I will die if I do this", to which I immediately responded "then I will die. On my own terms", and such stuff, lol], b) attempting to dissolve them. A funny thing is that I had this image of my kid-self punching this atrocious old dingbat that was my piano teacher from ages 6 to 11 - boy, but did she ever deserve this.
Afterwards, some weird stuff started happening. I had this sensation as if some sort of dark tendrils were trying to infiltrate my brain. Caught them and fired right back in a manner I've been employing lately. Took some time, but in the end, I think it worked. Got wonky physical sensations while I was at it. Finally managed to fall asleep, and had a very productive day today despite not enough sleep for the amount of stuff I had to do today. Bardic skillz are leveling up.
Good thing I've got this week at least to do 'em loops in the comfort of my own home with no bystanders, so to speak.
BTW., I was noticeably chatty throughout the day with various people I like, enjoyed it too. I don't always do.
Also, insane ramblings time:
I am Schattenjaeger.
(10-15-2018, 01:06 PM)Have at ye Wrote: [ -> ]BTW., I was noticeably chatty throughout the day with various people I like, enjoyed it too. I don't always do.
Also, insane ramblings time:
I am Schattenjaeger.
Stay sane! We don't want to lose you lol