12-19-2018, 08:06 AM
12-19-2018, 08:20 AM
12-19-2018, 08:26 AM
12-19-2018, 08:37 AM
12-19-2018, 09:37 AM
12-19-2018, 10:40 AM
12-21-2018, 02:19 PM
12-21-2018, 02:58 PM
(12-21-2018, 02:19 PM)THolt Wrote: [ -> ]So the past week I have been to some social occasions in and outside of work A common thread that I seem to be encountering is that I have trouble capitalizing on the opportunities that USLM3 is presenting me.
I don't seem to be hitting it off with anyone at these gatherings. All that results is a lot of acquaintances that I speak to in passing but no real friendships. Its like I cant seem to make deep friendships. My coworker seems to have no issue and can network at work gatherings while I view it as superficial.
I will continue to use USLM3 in the hopes that it will improve my social life and either run USLM4 or USM. THis is one area of my life I struggle so much in. I excel in a lot of areas but forming friendships is something I have struggled with and sometimes wonder if it is a waste of time.
You're not alone man. Although this isn't my main goal, I have seen a marked improvement in my social skills since starting USLM. Making friends is becoming easy, but making them meaningful is a whole other thing. But it is getting easier, albeit slowly.
Continuing on with USLM4 in my opinion is definitely the way to go. That or LTU!
12-21-2018, 06:49 PM
(12-21-2018, 02:58 PM)Hatman Wrote: [ -> ](12-21-2018, 02:19 PM)THolt Wrote: [ -> ]So the past week I have been to some social occasions in and outside of work A common thread that I seem to be encountering is that I have trouble capitalizing on the opportunities that USLM3 is presenting me.
I don't seem to be hitting it off with anyone at these gatherings. All that results is a lot of acquaintances that I speak to in passing but no real friendships. Its like I cant seem to make deep friendships. My coworker seems to have no issue and can network at work gatherings while I view it as superficial.
I will continue to use USLM3 in the hopes that it will improve my social life and either run USLM4 or USM. THis is one area of my life I struggle so much in. I excel in a lot of areas but forming friendships is something I have struggled with and sometimes wonder if it is a waste of time.
You're not alone man. Although this isn't my main goal, I have seen a marked improvement in my social skills since starting USLM. Making friends is becoming easy, but making them meaningful is a whole other thing. But it is getting easier, albeit slowly.
Continuing on with USLM4 in my opinion is definitely the way to go. That or LTU!
It almost seems fruitless to continue with this. It’s like I try to make and develop friendships but the other person doesn’t reciprocate. Some people are just better at it I guess.
Maybe I’ll run USLM4 and see what happens
12-22-2018, 08:25 AM
(12-21-2018, 06:49 PM)THolt Wrote: [ -> ](12-21-2018, 02:58 PM)Hatman Wrote: [ -> ](12-21-2018, 02:19 PM)THolt Wrote: [ -> ]So the past week I have been to some social occasions in and outside of work A common thread that I seem to be encountering is that I have trouble capitalizing on the opportunities that USLM3 is presenting me.
I don't seem to be hitting it off with anyone at these gatherings. All that results is a lot of acquaintances that I speak to in passing but no real friendships. Its like I cant seem to make deep friendships. My coworker seems to have no issue and can network at work gatherings while I view it as superficial.
I will continue to use USLM3 in the hopes that it will improve my social life and either run USLM4 or USM. THis is one area of my life I struggle so much in. I excel in a lot of areas but forming friendships is something I have struggled with and sometimes wonder if it is a waste of time.
You're not alone man. Although this isn't my main goal, I have seen a marked improvement in my social skills since starting USLM. Making friends is becoming easy, but making them meaningful is a whole other thing. But it is getting easier, albeit slowly.
Continuing on with USLM4 in my opinion is definitely the way to go. That or LTU!
It almost seems fruitless to continue with this. It’s like I try to make and develop friendships but the other person doesn’t reciprocate. Some people are just better at it I guess.
Maybe I’ll run USLM4 and see what happens
What is it you're doing, specifically, to develop friendships? I'm referring to what you do once you are interacting with people.
12-22-2018, 11:54 AM
(12-22-2018, 08:25 AM)RTBoss Wrote: [ -> ](12-21-2018, 06:49 PM)THolt Wrote: [ -> ](12-21-2018, 02:58 PM)Hatman Wrote: [ -> ](12-21-2018, 02:19 PM)THolt Wrote: [ -> ]So the past week I have been to some social occasions in and outside of work A common thread that I seem to be encountering is that I have trouble capitalizing on the opportunities that USLM3 is presenting me.
I don't seem to be hitting it off with anyone at these gatherings. All that results is a lot of acquaintances that I speak to in passing but no real friendships. Its like I cant seem to make deep friendships. My coworker seems to have no issue and can network at work gatherings while I view it as superficial.
I will continue to use USLM3 in the hopes that it will improve my social life and either run USLM4 or USM. THis is one area of my life I struggle so much in. I excel in a lot of areas but forming friendships is something I have struggled with and sometimes wonder if it is a waste of time.
You're not alone man. Although this isn't my main goal, I have seen a marked improvement in my social skills since starting USLM. Making friends is becoming easy, but making them meaningful is a whole other thing. But it is getting easier, albeit slowly.
Continuing on with USLM4 in my opinion is definitely the way to go. That or LTU!
It almost seems fruitless to continue with this. It’s like I try to make and develop friendships but the other person doesn’t reciprocate. Some people are just better at it I guess.
Maybe I’ll run USLM4 and see what happens
What is it you're doing, specifically, to develop friendships? I'm referring to what you do once you are interacting with people.
@RTBoss
Well I start by asking them questions about themselves and their interests and trying to find stuff in common. I seem to get along well enough but I am not developing any deep friendships. I have made progress in getting invited to more social events but then I feel like I don't capitalize on them. I think its a mixture of social anxiety and perhaps some social inexperience. Also some low SE as well.
Edit: This brings up another issue I am having: should I run USLM4 or UMS? In other words money or friendships?
12-22-2018, 12:31 PM
(12-22-2018, 11:54 AM)THolt Wrote: [ -> ](12-22-2018, 08:25 AM)RTBoss Wrote: [ -> ](12-21-2018, 06:49 PM)THolt Wrote: [ -> ](12-21-2018, 02:58 PM)Hatman Wrote: [ -> ](12-21-2018, 02:19 PM)THolt Wrote: [ -> ]So the past week I have been to some social occasions in and outside of work A common thread that I seem to be encountering is that I have trouble capitalizing on the opportunities that USLM3 is presenting me.
I don't seem to be hitting it off with anyone at these gatherings. All that results is a lot of acquaintances that I speak to in passing but no real friendships. Its like I cant seem to make deep friendships. My coworker seems to have no issue and can network at work gatherings while I view it as superficial.
I will continue to use USLM3 in the hopes that it will improve my social life and either run USLM4 or USM. THis is one area of my life I struggle so much in. I excel in a lot of areas but forming friendships is something I have struggled with and sometimes wonder if it is a waste of time.
You're not alone man. Although this isn't my main goal, I have seen a marked improvement in my social skills since starting USLM. Making friends is becoming easy, but making them meaningful is a whole other thing. But it is getting easier, albeit slowly.
Continuing on with USLM4 in my opinion is definitely the way to go. That or LTU!
It almost seems fruitless to continue with this. It’s like I try to make and develop friendships but the other person doesn’t reciprocate. Some people are just better at it I guess.
Maybe I’ll run USLM4 and see what happens
What is it you're doing, specifically, to develop friendships? I'm referring to what you do once you are interacting with people.
@RTBoss
Well I start by asking them questions about themselves and their interests and trying to find stuff in common. I seem to get along well enough but I am not developing any deep friendships. I have made progress in getting invited to more social events but then I feel like I don't capitalize on them. I think its a mixture of social anxiety and perhaps some social inexperience. Also some low SE as well.
Edit: This brings up another issue I am having: should I run USLM4 or UMS? In other words money or friendships?
USLM4 will help with both, UMS will help with just one.
12-22-2018, 02:08 PM
(12-22-2018, 11:54 AM)THolt Wrote: [ -> ](12-22-2018, 08:25 AM)RTBoss Wrote: [ -> ]What is it you're doing, specifically, to develop friendships? I'm referring to what you do once you are interacting with people.
@RTBoss
Well I start by asking them questions about themselves and their interests and trying to find stuff in common. I seem to get along well enough but I am not developing any deep friendships. I have made progress in getting invited to more social events but then I feel like I don't capitalize on them. I think its a mixture of social anxiety and perhaps some social inexperience. Also some low SE as well.
I've made plenty of friends while having low SE and social anxiety. It's probably easier when you have higher SE and lack social anxiety. My experience has been having interests in common trumps everything, as long as you are willing to take the steps to deepen the connections you make with people you're interested in doing that with.
I'm the kind of guy who's always been more interested in a few quality friendships, than many superficial friendships. Being pretty introverted by nature (though I come across as an extrovert one-on-one), many of my friends are extroverts. In most cases, they were the ones who mentioned hanging out first. In all cases, we have a lot in common - be it similar subject matter, sense of humor (pretty important for me), and sharing experiences that increase emotional bonding. The people I've lacked that commonality with usually fizzle out naturally.
I'm 38, and would say that I have a handful of extremely close, quality friendships. Unfortunately, the guys I'm closest with - who I met in high school - live at least 7 hours drive away, and we see each other maybe twice a year.
My latest/newest friend I met at my son's swim lessons. We noticed that we literally drive the same minivan, are both stay-at-home dads, like the same college football team, laugh at the same things, are movie nuts, and then about two months ago, he asked me if I wanted to watch a football game at his house w/ the kids. Now we see movies together, have gone to a basketball game, and also have had some long chats about life, which has deepened our friendship quickly. Now and then, we'll text each other and just bull$hit. On the other hand, we also found out we shouldn't discuss politics,
. IOW, it doesn't have to be perfect, but you have to put time, energy, and effort into making the connection deeper.I would think, with the goal you have using USLM, in good time you'll have the opportunity to make such connections. Even if it's just one, that one friendship may be one that lasts a lifetime. So if you think you have something in common with someone enough that you're interested in befriending them, perhaps they are a little shy and you just need to ask them to go do something fun - where you can naturally get to know each other better one-on-one.
12-28-2018, 06:57 AM