Them two girls I am interested in have both changed their whatsapp pictures to really nice pictures at the same time, what is the coincidence. I'll be seeing them both soon, not at the same time though, as they are unrelated to each other.
You know what my thoughts were when I see they have changed their pictures? .... First I thought DAMN! ....then thought to myself " They have changed them for me, because they will be seeing me soon. They are saying look I am hot enough for you Fluffy!" LOL.
I am thinking of switching to 3.1 B tonight, at 7 loops a night, to see the difference.
I had a dream last night. I was laying in my bed (in the dream) and my ex wife came to see me and she sat on my bed and she cuddled me, embraced me and I had the side of my head buried into her chest. She said to me xit's ok, I am back now, I missed you". I then started to cry as feeling of missing her came up.
When I think about how I felt in that dream and cuddling my ex wife etc (Which I felt being embraced by her again) I feel kinda sad when I think about it as I do empathize with that version of me in the dream.I do remember how it felt to be cuddled by her and it is coming up to over 3 years since I last saw her and 2 and half years since the divorce was final.
I listened to 7 loops of DMSI 3.1 B last night. I am guessing this kind of dream is from the A version.
None the less it was nice seeing her in my dreams last night
I was out and about and noticed a few women checking me out. A few hottties but they didn't jump my bones or anything.
I feel quite introverted, as in being extroverted and having the motivation to speak with these women is not really there, as if it feels like slot of effort. Don't get me wrong I would love to. Sometimes I wish allowed DMSI to help me more in that area (Even though that is not the goal).
Yesterday I went to to this little store and a men's clothing section up stairs. Very quiet, no one there. I bought a T - shirt and a hoody, there is only one girl working there sorting out the clothes. When I locked eyes with her to be served at the counter, she came over. She was very beautiful, no make up, natural, very tall (She must of been at least 5"11, as I am 6ft) she might of been 25/26 years old. I said alright to her and she folded my clothes etc and taking her time doing it and as she was I was just looking at her, admiring her and her body, I was thinking like damn she is wifey material. I never thought I would think that ever again! Lol. Anyway I didn't make conversation or anything and she was my kinda girl. When I finished we said our byes and as I started to turn she starting playing with the tips her hair, it's just something I noticed.
When I walked out and got into my car, at first I was just like wow, she was amazing...I couldn't believe how amazing she was. Then I thought yeah definitely she is my kind of girl, she is just the kind of girl I would like as a girlfriend. Then I started to realize I didn't even say anything or make any conversation, or even attempt to get her number. These feeling sucked, because all these I could of said this or that or that, but I didn't. Felt like a wasted opportunity. Then I calmed my thoughts my remembering there is plenty of girls out there, there will always be more girls I find attractive (Even though I felt this girl was ideal girlfriend wife material for me). Then I thought wouldn't it be amazing if I was able to actually act on all these opportunities, wouldn't that would be great?
Hopefully I will eventually allow DMSI to help me with actually acting on these opportunities in the newer versions. Because it sucks to not act on these opportunities! I don't want to wait for women to seduce me I want to be able to see this kinda girl and just go for it and get her number and meet up with her. What sucks even more is I think she would of said yes and would of been totally up for it, I really do feel that.
I look forward to the day when I am able to act on these opportunities with success.
So horny; I have the desire to £uck something for the very survival of my genetic potential. No matter the cost.
3 nights of B.
I just had a not a nice feeling dream.
It was kinda like I was back in highschool (but not, as everything was different). I walked into class where boys couple boys from my primary school years and high school years. I was happy and very talkative and very sociable with them. One of them said something back to me and little while after I realised he was being funny with me, as he said what he meant in a different way and was using sarcasm to basically say I talk too much.
This actually hurt my feelings and I tried to not let it get to me. I tried talking to the other boy and he started giving me this hard shoulder too and being funny with me as if they didn't like me.
I felt hurt and wondering why they are doing this to me. It was a horrible feeling (I remember one of the boys, the second one actually saying to me in real life when I was in primary school, that he don't want to be friends with me, totally out of the blue and no reason for it, I can't remember how I felt, maybe I felt really bad like I did in this dream?)
I went outside I saw other people and women and had a strong desire to go speak to new women. Shortly after remembered DMSI will bring up other peoples insecurities as I get more attractive and I started thinking they the boys were being like this to me because I am increasing in social, sexual value etc. Then thinking if people act like this to me it's not good.
Then the 2nd boy I mentioned before came up to me but looked like he was a girl now and said she/he wanted to make amends and buy me a drink. I thought about it for a few seconds then she started to walk away thinking I did not want to. She then sat with her friend, then saying no I do not want to be involved with you, you have been charged with murder (Whilst emotionally repelled and upset and saying it loud so everyone around can hear) I then suddenly felt like I have been charged with murder and awaiting trial, feeling guilty about killing someone and everyone thinking I am a murderer and wanting nothing to do with me. I felt feelings that are hard to describe, like absolute humiliation, rejection and being totally misunderstood, with them boys etc being so stupid and not seeing I am a good, genuine guy with good intentions and they are being horrible to me for no reason.
Later on I saw a car drive pass with other boys that I have negative associations with from my past that were from another school. Around when I was about age 12. The boy I saw I had "fights" with his brother. I say fights, I never fought back and was humiliated in front of lots of people the first time where he was just hitting me over and over and I never fought. I ended up crying and walking off and letting lots of boys and girls from my school see this.
Anyway when I saw that boy in the car driving past, I felt them feelings from back then and felt a desire to get my revenge to make a point.
(These guys wouldn't stand a chance now because I am a highly trained fighter of years of experience in Amateur boxing, Tae kwon Do, Thai Boxing, Wing Chun Kung-fu and now Krav Maga. But in waking life I have forgiven and forgot these people from my past, even though apart of me would love to kick their ass now lol. I would only fight in self defense.)
It's interesting dream indeed, especially involving the first two boys from my past, and them being like that with me. Something underneath the hood must be going on, right.
So far I am liking B better than A. B feels more straight to the point. Just the way I like most things in life.
Just a quick note. Got my cock sucked from a girl I was seeing a few years back, no strings attached.
That Osteopath, is single. I only had 30 mins massage, as I was late. I did not act on anything, or ask her out, nothing. Motivation was not there. Maybe if I did not get my cock sucked and released the night before early hours in the morning I would of been more horny and would of wanted to pursue her.
Oh well, her loss.
So because I get out a bit more because I work couple nights a week and involves seeing a bit more people in general. I notice some women I find attractive that I acknowledge, they don't hit on me or anything, but I feel attractive and I have more of a feeling they find me attractive, usually the super hot ones.
I will see how it goes, I might be finding ways so I can come in contact with more attractive women. My awareness of attractive women in my external reality has been on the increase, which helps.
I do much better when I am one on one with an attractive woman, so unless I have alone time with the attractive women. For example on my job, I was with this other guy collegue in his 50's and he is very extroverted. So when we come across attractive women work related, in groups with other guys ect. Then I just don't have that outward energy to be more extroverted then him, especially when it is night shift and I am tired.
I am not fretting over it, as realised something last night. My colleague told about the hot girl he like talking to and we drove to this place where she is stationed and working with this other guy. Anyway he parked up and went and talked to them. I stay in the car because I had to finish my written log on my phone and I finished it and could of went straight out and joined them and see this girl but I thought to my self I don't need to I am fine not because there will always be another attractive girl.
Anyway he ended up persistently waving for me to get out the car and join them, so I did and did and said high to this girl and guy and she had this look on her face kinda like all seriouse and starey but as if inside she is going "OMG he is hot" but outwardly keeping her composure and looking serious. I caught her staring at me as my colleague was talking and she smiled then looked down and away and put her hand up to her forehand as if to scratch her forehead, cover her face from me and then she stroked her hair. I also noticed she turned her body fully towards me and kinda walked past me kinda smoking, and letting my colleague talk to the other guy. I think she might off positioned herself so I turn and talk to her....I don't know.
Anyway, as we left said bye and walked away she smiled and said bye and she was leaning on this table thing and smoking and as I turned to walk away it looked like she was looking at my legs. Anyway I got to the car and turned to look at her and she was just smoking and staring at me with her serious but something else look. I don't know what the word is for that look! But it kinda turns me on.
Anyway, I don't know if I will ever see her again but that shouldn't matter as there is an abundance of attractive women out there (there is always another girl).
I just can't stopping thinking I would of got her number if I was me but much much more extroverted.
Anyway, hopefully the newer version of DMS will allow me to do better or them do better lol, fucck it why not both do better?
I took a night off 3.1 B last night, just to get some sleep without any input. I am actually liking B and currently feel like I can just keep going with the 7 loops a night. I will continue tonight.
This post is only about Lucid dreams and dreams.
I don't know if it is because of the 2 nights of night work Friday and Saturday (REM Rebound) but the last few sleeps I have had some spontaneous Lucid Dreams and because I am aware of certain techniques that help increase Lucidity within the Lucid dream and also help prolong it, as soon as I am aware of that I am consciously aware within the dream I start working on these techniques. It is a very nice surprise! I still am astonished how real it is being in them other realms, I also look around and touch things and I am so astonished of how I am consciously in another reality, it is a really beautiful feeling. I tried manifesting an attractive girl (as manifesting happens pretty instantaneous there, IF you have strong belief. For example, I wanted to manifest an attractive girl in front of me (In the Lucid Dream) so you can either close your eyes and expect her to be in front of you when you open them or you can turn around and expect her to be there or you can find a door and expect her to be on the other side etc. You have to have 100 % belief and expectation. So when I did it and as I am super rusty and need to learn to focus more and have better belief and expectations... an attractive girl appeared in front of me but then she disappeared and It went back and fourth like that, as your thoughts manifest very quick as the energy is less dense, as it is in the non physical.
The dreams the last few nights (Which are completely different to Lucid Dreams. With normal dreams you are actually asleep in the dream and going along automatically. Where as 100% Lucid Dreams you are 100% consciously aware that you are in a dream and you can consciously think and choose and act, interact in real time. You are not following the dream by default) have been so profound, intense and multifaceted, which makes them feel so amazing and adventurous.
For example one had work aspects but was quite intense and ultra realistic. Basically it was night time and there was this Tornado coming and a few people I was with rushed to get into this these plastic portal loo type cubicle outside. I went with them and we was in this plastic portal loo time container and I was thinking NO WAY this is going to protect us and next to me there was this other one but it had curtains and I went to try it and shut the curtains and discovered this is not going to help either, the other one is the better option, so I went back in the other one with the two other people. Then this tornado was getting closer and closer and this plastic container we where standing in was moving about vigorously in all directions from the very strong powerful winds, it started to get so intense I realised that we was going to be in the eye of the tornado and I started to realise this is it, I am actually going to die. I was nervous and I thought there is nothing I can do now, I just have to accept that I am going to die. The container then suddenly whisked up and we was rapidly shooting high up through the air within this container. Then my mind and focus could only see the eye of the tornado below amongst all this chaos going on around me and I was speeding my way towards it, to my inevitable death. I was scared, my eye lids where half closing waiting...accepting....dreading for an fatal impact to strike. All I was holding onto is knowing that it will be over soon.
Got a date with this hot 40 year old this Friday, I am enamoured by her already haha.
I will have to go back to US/LM pretty soon, I am thinking of at least waiting for the version with FRM V3.
I would love to increase my financial abundance.
You dont take any breaks?
(10-24-2018, 10:15 AM)blth Wrote: [ -> ]You dont take any breaks?
Yeeeaaahhh, when I feel like it
The 40 year old woman, before meeting, ended up asking me questions about my prospects of settling down. I could of lied and probably would of ended up having sex with her but I don't like qualifying myself so I basically just told her everything she did not want to hear. She quickly made it known that she is looking for someone to settle down with. That was that.
I am starting to realise how much my belief system has been sucked into the facts of I can't get with a decent woman unless I have a lot of money, my own house and a decent career. I hate that I believe this but women young and now old, keep confirming this to me and it makes me feel like I can't have a beautiful woman until I have my own house, a decent career, and have a lot of money.
Knowing that I don't have these things, makes me feel like I am not good enough to have a beautiful woman at my side for varies reasons.
I have not run as many loops tonight. Going to just let it bloom now...I can't be fucked with women, especially with these beliefs I have.
The funny paradoxical thing is, If I was financially well off I would probably despise them and wouldn't give them a time of day anyway, based on the fact they didn't want me when I had less money.
I am stopping DMSI 3.1 B, now and I am taking a break from Indigo Mind Labs products. I am going to experiment with other methods for a while and I will be back and use a newer version of US/LM when people are getting worthy results.
I am closing this journal out and I will create a new one when I come back.
PEACE
I've already gotten some worthy results from USLM and USLM2, and judging by the journals I've read, so have others