Day 33, V3.2-B
Haven't logged in or posted since last update here. The reason why is below, at the end. Sorry to those who have messaged me over time, wanting an update!
Updates:
-Low amount of procrastination now. I can see it and stop it better and earlier if it pops up. This has been a very welcome development, badly needed for a long time. I hope this continues to improve, procrastination robs people of so much potential in life.
-Still maintaining lots of energy, little to no exhaustion. In fact, now I tend to stay awake for almost excessive amounts of time often, not able to calm down to go to sleep until I'm VERY tired. This is good, but can be annoying at times when you want to sleep, or NEED to sleep due to timing.
-Feeling better, or just more "neutral" about things, and myself. More detached, which results in a latent positive effect for me as I'm not so in my head or agenda-focused, or negative. The ARA programming is making me feel more competent or relaxed too I suspect. Things I felt I wouldn't be able to do, or felt negative about before, I'm tackling now and doing well (linked to the procrastination above, as you tend to avoid doing what you don't want to do, or are fearful of doing or trying due to possible or imagined result etc.). This is especially true with girls, they just don't seem to be nearly as important as they were before starting the program long ago. Still great and all, but I've realised how much I pedestalised them before, how damaging it was to me, and how much validation I sought from them etc., my neediness. Now, they're nice and all, but I'm far more focused on myself and my own goals, instead of obsessing over girls or chasing them, especially when that never worked out for me anyway and left me feeling terrible about myself like a failure. Total waste of time, effort and money, and no return on investment, so I'm glad I'm finally able to no longer put "it" on the pedestal, lol. This mindset has been here since long before V3.2, just posting about it to show it's still there, possibly even enhanced.
-I don't seem to recall dreams very often. I thought I would be able to, I used to on V3.1, even if they made no sense or didn't seem to be relevant to the script at all.
-I haven't logged into social media in almost 3 months now. This is unheard of for me. I'd usually login, checkout the girls I know, view their thirst traps to use the vernacular etc. and fantasise about me being with them there. As a substitute for either porn, or for "having a girl" myself. Now, I don't really care to view that anymore, and have bigger priorities. Myself, and my life goals. Fantastic. Next time I login will be in time, when I do Facebook ads for a company I'm creating, more on that later.
-Now having said that about social media, there are some cracks. One, I do still look on google images at pics of attractive female celebs still. Also, I do still "fap", at the same frequency. Those are annoying that they linger, but hey I've already made progress with the procrastination and internal focus being intensified, so I'm VERY happy with those two developments. Even if the second one already existed before V3.2 and has been there for awhile now, it's still important to me and my emotional health and happiness. For example, recently I sent a message to S, a girl I know and have asked out before in the past. She had a pic on WhatsApp of her on a family vacation, I sent her a message about it saying it looked cool and wished her an awesome vacation and that I haven't gone on one in years so I was jealous in a joking manner. No response. Now, back in the day, say like a year or so ago, I would've gotten really pissy over that and been angry for awhile and felt rejected. Now, I don't really care anymore. I sent it because the message was what it was, no agenda, no ego on the line, no ulterior motives of banging her after it, whatever. Either she didn't see it, forgot, didn't care to open it, I don't care, really. Seems small, but it's a big step for me as before I'd be very angry over such things I viewed as big insults. This internal locus of control, like John Alexader's book describes, is vital. I love it. She wrote me out of nowhere New Year's Eve right at midnight when she still had a boyfriend (but near the end of that relationship) to wish me a happy new years. So, there's no reason to lose my mind over this one no response. And still, it doesn't matter nearly as much to me as before anyway, so good progress.
-When I see girls at functions, events, or even randomly, things are okay, I enjoy interacting with them and all. I seem very detached, no more agenda, so it's weird for me to "judge" interactions like "well she did this, or might have done this, which means that" etc. It all doesn't seem to bother me as much anymore, so I just let go and let things be and just be content with myself. So I'm not evaluating things with such scrutiny, as it doesn't seem to matter to me nearly as much anymore. So I'll bottom line it, no design goal yet. No overt signs from them. But still, pleasant, often flirty or affectionate, quick rapport generation, being more memorable "celeb effect" stuff, being looked up to more, more respect. No taking action or chasing from them, things are good IN the interaction, but that's where it dies. No initiative from them afterward taken. Everything still feels like it has to be driven by us, which makes us the pursuer, which makes them pull back, as usual. I'm glad I no longer have the interest to fall into that trap anymore, so I just enjoy the interaction, then go on my merry way and back to my own priorities.
-Intermittent fasting is harder to keep doing on this version, annoyingly. I needed to work hard to get that VERY stubborn weight off that I put on during V3.1, 34 pounds! I got rid of most of it on V3.1 FINALLY, took forever and a ridiculous amount of restraint. I was so proud of losing 65 pounds before, amazing achievement! On V3.1, I struggled with it and 34 pounds piled back on, before I started near the end of getting progress at last on that. Now, on V3.2, I find it much harder to maintain because I get serious hunger pangs more often and earlier than normal. More energy use I suppose :/. I'll need to be more intense on it, because I'm not ballooning up in weight yet again with this version, no matter what! It's been hard enough to get all that weight off to begin with, and I was so proud of getting down to being so lean looking and feeling good about myself physically for maybe the first time in my life...never mind when 34 pounds piled back on on V3.1. So I'm not willing to let that slide again.
Finally, we get to why I haven't logged into the forum in two weeks! I'm an entrepreneur as most of you know. I'm starting a new company now that's been taking a lot of my time and energy as well as some money of course. After the last exchange on my journal, I started to search for a good, small speaker that I could use for night time listening for ultrasonic to hit my newly prescribed 7 loops. As my speaker that can handle ultrasonic has been loaned to my brother for ARA, I needed to buy another. Naturally, that model has been discontinued, lol. Although I was on the hunt for a refurbished model etc. as I knew it was very small but could also play ultrasonic perfectly, it's an amazing little speaker. But, much worse, a couple days later, I received a nuclear BOMB. I suddenly lost a ton of possible funding from my business partner, he had a very serious issue occur suddenly and had to pull out. So, I was left in an awful condition out of nowhere. I had/have a massive funding shortfall, needing to cover off all of his responsibilities of money and beyond suddenly, to not allow the whole project to be in jeopardy. This was completely unexpected, but these things can happen, so you have to roll with it and push through, I'm used to thinking on my feet in business. I had to put the search for a new speaker on hold to focus on this, and I was worried about increasing the loops and causing any exhaustion as I knew I'd need energy to oversee this crisis. So since then as a result of this, I have remained at 1 loop of B, but have gained solid internal effects I've listed above. I'm okay with the anti-procrastination effect and internal locus of control, so I'm content to stick at 1 loop of B to not risk losing the anti-procrastination effect I've gained and love, and NEED right now. And to prevent the possibility of exhaustion from higher loops like I've been sidelined by in the past or other undesirable side effects, especially given my massive responsibilities currently. I haven't hit design goal, but have had procrastination largely go away, and the internal locus of control has been strong, both very solid effects I'm enjoying. Other effects I listed above, so overall I feel maybe some tangible internal progress has been made, enough to satisfy me for now while I deal with this pressing crisis, which is my main priority in my life rather than design goal anyway. For the next month or two, things for me will be trying, while getting this company stable and on it's own two feet. So I need to keep my head focused on that.
That's about it for now, friends. Have a great day!
It's good to have you back CatMan!
I just started DMSI 3.2 yesterday, so I'll be joining you guys for this.
I'm one day in and I'm having similar effects to you. This should be an interesting ride.
Those are some good results. Especially the carefree, detached thing around women and having no agenda.
You may not be aware of it yourself, as i'm not usually with myself.. but that post is very different than your past posts a few months ago, in a good way.
The business thing sucks, hope you can sort it out.
Thanks Determined and Ben!
One thing I forgot to mention, is that intermittent fasting is harder to keep doing on this version, annoyingly. I needed to work hard to get that VERY stubborn weight off that I put on during V3.1, 34 pounds! I got rid of most of it on V3.1 FINALLY, took forever and a ridiculous amount of restraint. I was so proud of losing 65 pounds before, amazing achievement! On V3.1, I struggled with it and 34 pounds piled back on, before I started near the end of getting progress at last on that. Now, on V3.2, I find it much harder to maintain because I get serious hunger pangs more often and earlier than normal. More energy use I suppose :/. I'll need to be more intense on it, because I'm not ballooning up in weight yet again with this version, no matter what! It's been hard enough to get all that weight off to begin with, and I was so proud of getting down to being so lean looking and feeling good about myself physically for maybe the first time in my life...never mind when 34 pounds piled back on on V3.1. So I'm not willing to let that slide again.
I'll edit original post to reflect this point I forgot to mention in it before.
(03-28-2018, 12:22 AM)CatMan Wrote: [ -> ]Thanks Determined and Ben!
One thing I forgot to mention, is that intermittent fasting is harder to keep doing on this version, annoyingly. I needed to work hard to get that VERY stubborn weight off that I put on during V3.1, 34 pounds! I got rid of most of it on V3.1 FINALLY, took forever and a ridiculous amount of restraint. I was so proud of losing 65 pounds before, amazing achievement! On V3.1, I struggled with it and 34 pounds piled back on, before I started near the end of getting progress at last on that. Now, on V3.2, I find it much harder to maintain because I get serious hunger pangs more often and earlier than normal. More energy use I suppose :/. I'll need to be more intense on it, because I'm not ballooning up in weight yet again with this version, no matter what! It's been hard enough to get all that weight off to begin with, and I was so proud of getting down to being so lean looking and feeling good about myself physically for maybe the first time in my life...never mind when 34 pounds piled back on on V3.1. So I'm not willing to let that slide again.
I'll edit original post to reflect this point I forgot to mention in it before.
Grab a fatburner. I started oxyshred this morning. It has the benefit of suppressing appetite and elevating mood. I've been on cloud 9 all day lol.
Hey man, I got this in my email this morning and I thought you might get some value from it. Here goes:
A student sent me this question the other day:
"Chris, I need your help...
I'm a successful guy, and I've achieved a lot in my life. I want to find a woman to share it with but I have a problem.
You see, every time I meet a woman, I feel like she's only interested in dating me for my money.
I don't know if I'm being insecure, or just meeting the wrong women. What can I do to change this?
Sincerely,
A former student."
A lot of people aren't going to like me saying this, but I'll say it anyways.
Rich, successful guys have a hard time in dating. I'm serious.
They suffer from what I call the "curse of the gold digger".
The curse goes like this - as a successful man achieves more in his life, he can sometimes become more insecure in his relationships.
Don't get me wrong, successful men have a lot of advantages in the dating market, but their success comes at a cost. And if they don't learn how to navigate relationships properly, they can wind up getting taken advantage of, getting used, and getting cynical about women.
The problem stems from the fact that most women like two things about successful men.
First, they like the fact that successful men are usually successful because they are smart, hard working, confident, etc.
These character traits show the sort of inner power that women find very attractive.
Second, women like money and nice things. (Who doesn't?).
Because of this, successful guys often fear that the women they are dating like them more for their money than for who they are.
The challenge for successful men is: How do you avoid "gold diggers" without filtering out the women who really like you for who you are?
Here are four rules successful men need to live by:
First - A successful man cannot be passive in his dating life.
If you sit back and wait for women to come to you, the ones that will come to you are far more likely to be "gold diggers".
Meanwhile the women who like smart, confident men will expect to be pursued (because that's what a smart, confident man would do).
In fact, it's only when you take the initiative that your success really starts improving your dating life.
Second - A successful man can't use his money or success as a crutch.
Money and status can make things easy for you as a single guy. You can use your connections and resources as incentives to get women to date you. But, using those things too much creates all sorts of bad incentives.
Here's a rule of thumb - before you spend money on a woman you like, ask yourself "Would I say yes to this even if I wasn't interested in the person I was doing it with?" - if the answer is yes, you're using your wealth as a crutch.
Third - A successful man should never be ashamed of his success.
Another mistake successful men make is being shy about their success and hiding it. That can create a whole new set of problems, because now you're not being trustworthy and confident.
Fourth - A successful man must always know what he wants!
This goes along with not being passive, but it's very important that you actually know what you are looking for in a partner. My relationship visualization exercise can help you visualize what you are really looking for so you can go out and proactively look for it.
As always, the real solution is to act from your centre and remember - nothing works like success.
I found rule #1 to be particularly interesting. I hope you're doing well my man!
From what I have read you already have a large social of female friends. Why don't you invite one of them back to your appartment and escalate ?. If you expect a hot chick to knock on your door and ask her to shag you its not going to happen. How long have you been using subs to help you bed women ? three possibly four years ?. Where has it got you ? nowhere as far as I can see.
You are at a great advantage as the majority of guys do not have a circle of hot female friends and have to make that extra effort to go out and meet women to shag. I don't understand why you spend years on this forum dreaming that one day a girl is going to jump on you and shag the living day lights out of you. It wont happen if you continue like this.
(03-27-2018, 08:19 PM)CatMan Wrote: [ -> ]Day 33, V3.2-B
Haven't logged in or posted since last update here. The reason why is below, at the end. Sorry to those who have messaged me over time, wanting an update!
Updates:
-Low amount of procrastination now. I can see it and stop it better and earlier if it pops up. This has been a very welcome development, badly needed for a long time. I hope this continues to improve, procrastination robs people of so much potential in life.
-Still maintaining lots of energy, little to no exhaustion. In fact, now I tend to stay awake for almost excessive amounts of time often, not able to calm down to go to sleep until I'm VERY tired. This is good, but can be annoying at times when you want to sleep, or NEED to sleep due to timing.
-Feeling better, or just more "neutral" about things, and myself. More detached, which results in a latent positive effect for me as I'm not so in my head or agenda-focused, or negative. The ARA programming is making me feel more competent or relaxed too I suspect. Things I felt I wouldn't be able to do, or felt negative about before, I'm tackling now and doing well (linked to the procrastination above, as you tend to avoid doing what you don't want to do, or are fearful of doing or trying due to possible or imagined result etc.). This is especially true with girls, they just don't seem to be nearly as important as they were before starting the program long ago. Still great and all, but I've realised how much I pedestalised them before, how damaging it was to me, and how much validation I sought from them etc., my neediness. Now, they're nice and all, but I'm far more focused on myself and my own goals, instead of obsessing over girls or chasing them, especially when that never worked out for me anyway and left me feeling terrible about myself like a failure. Total waste of time, effort and money, and no return on investment, so I'm glad I'm finally able to no longer put "it" on the pedestal, lol. This mindset has been here since long before V3.2, just posting about it to show it's still there, possibly even enhanced.
-I don't seem to recall dreams very often. I thought I would be able to, I used to on V3.1, even if they made no sense or didn't seem to be relevant to the script at all.
-I haven't logged into social media in almost 3 months now. This is unheard of for me. I'd usually login, checkout the girls I know, view their thirst traps to use the vernacular etc. and fantasise about me being with them there. As a substitute for either porn, or for "having a girl" myself. Now, I don't really care to view that anymore, and have bigger priorities. Myself, and my life goals. Fantastic. Next time I login will be in time, when I do Facebook ads for a company I'm creating, more on that later.
-Now having said that about social media, there are some cracks. One, I do still look on google images at pics of attractive female celebs still. Also, I do still "fap", at the same frequency. Those are annoying that they linger, but hey I've already made progress with the procrastination and internal focus being intensified, so I'm VERY happy with those two developments. Even if the second one already existed before V3.2 and has been there for awhile now, it's still important to me and my emotional health and happiness. For example, recently I sent a message to S, a girl I know and have asked out before in the past. She had a pic on WhatsApp of her on a family vacation, I sent her a message about it saying it looked cool and wished her an awesome vacation and that I haven't gone on one in years so I was jealous in a joking manner. No response. Now, back in the day, say like a year or so ago, I would've gotten really pissy over that and been angry for awhile and felt rejected. Now, I don't really care anymore. I sent it because the message was what it was, no agenda, no ego on the line, no ulterior motives of banging her after it, whatever. Either she didn't see it, forgot, didn't care to open it, I don't care, really. Seems small, but it's a big step for me as before I'd be very angry over such things I viewed as big insults. This internal locus of control, like John Alexader's book describes, is vital. I love it. She wrote me out of nowhere New Year's Eve right at midnight when she still had a boyfriend (but near the end of that relationship) to wish me a happy new years. So, there's no reason to lose my mind over this one no response. And still, it doesn't matter nearly as much to me as before anyway, so good progress.
-When I see girls at functions, events, or even randomly, things are okay, I enjoy interacting with them and all. I seem very detached, no more agenda, so it's weird for me to "judge" interactions like "well she did this, or might have done this, which means that" etc. It all doesn't seem to bother me as much anymore, so I just let go and let things be and just be content with myself. So I'm not evaluating things with such scrutiny, as it doesn't seem to matter to me nearly as much anymore. So I'll bottom line it, no design goal yet. No overt signs from them. But still, pleasant, often flirty or affectionate, quick rapport generation, being more memorable "celeb effect" stuff, being looked up to more, more respect. No taking action or chasing from them, things are good IN the interaction, but that's where it dies. No initiative from them afterward taken. Everything still feels like it has to be driven by us, which makes us the pursuer, which makes them pull back, as usual. I'm glad I no longer have the interest to fall into that trap anymore, so I just enjoy the interaction, then go on my merry way and back to my own priorities.
-Intermittent fasting is harder to keep doing on this version, annoyingly. I needed to work hard to get that VERY stubborn weight off that I put on during V3.1, 34 pounds! I got rid of most of it on V3.1 FINALLY, took forever and a ridiculous amount of restraint. I was so proud of losing 65 pounds before, amazing achievement! On V3.1, I struggled with it and 34 pounds piled back on, before I started near the end of getting progress at last on that. Now, on V3.2, I find it much harder to maintain because I get serious hunger pangs more often and earlier than normal. More energy use I suppose :/. I'll need to be more intense on it, because I'm not ballooning up in weight yet again with this version, no matter what! It's been hard enough to get all that weight off to begin with, and I was so proud of getting down to being so lean looking and feeling good about myself physically for maybe the first time in my life...never mind when 34 pounds piled back on on V3.1. So I'm not willing to let that slide again.
Finally, we get to why I haven't logged into the forum in two weeks! I'm an entrepreneur as most of you know. I'm starting a new company now that's been taking a lot of my time and energy as well as some money of course. After the last exchange on my journal, I started to search for a good, small speaker that I could use for night time listening for ultrasonic to hit my newly prescribed 7 loops. As my speaker that can handle ultrasonic has been loaned to my brother for ARA, I needed to buy another. Naturally, that model has been discontinued, lol. Although I was on the hunt for a refurbished model etc. as I knew it was very small but could also play ultrasonic perfectly, it's an amazing little speaker. But, much worse, a couple days later, I received a nuclear BOMB. I suddenly lost a ton of possible funding from my business partner, he had a very serious issue occur suddenly and had to pull out. So, I was left in an awful condition out of nowhere. I had/have a massive funding shortfall, needing to cover off all of his responsibilities of money and beyond suddenly, to not allow the whole project to be in jeopardy. This was completely unexpected, but these things can happen, so you have to roll with it and push through, I'm used to thinking on my feet in business. I had to put the search for a new speaker on hold to focus on this, and I was worried about increasing the loops and causing any exhaustion as I knew I'd need energy to oversee this crisis. So since then as a result of this, I have remained at 1 loop of B, but have gained solid internal effects I've listed above. I'm okay with the anti-procrastination effect and internal locus of control, so I'm content to stick at 1 loop of B to not risk losing the anti-procrastination effect I've gained and love, and NEED right now. And to prevent the possibility of exhaustion from higher loops like I've been sidelined by in the past or other undesirable side effects, especially given my massive responsibilities currently. I haven't hit design goal, but have had procrastination largely go away, and the internal locus of control has been strong, both very solid effects I'm enjoying. Other effects I listed above, so overall I feel maybe some tangible internal progress has been made, enough to satisfy me for now while I deal with this pressing crisis, which is my main priority in my life rather than design goal anyway. For the next month or two, things for me will be trying, while getting this company stable and on it's own two feet. So I need to keep my head focused on that.
That's about it for now, friends. Have a great day!
Thanks for that post, Determined. I appreciate it, and see some interesting insight in there. I did some nodding during that in agreement...believe me. I'm in a unique situation that others on the forum don't understand often. It's frustrating to have to repeat myself on certain things, or just having a vastly different perspective on either side. But still feeling qualified somehow to dictate what the other should do despite never having that perspective and understanding the WHY behind the reasoning, but that's life, I guess.
Thor, you seem to be assuming too much. I'm not sitting home doing nothing expecting Axe Effect out of nowhere from my front door or something, lol. I've never claimed that once, that would be ridiculous. I've also said I put myself out there constantly, at least once a week. Thing is, I just don't seem to have the "urge" to push and chase for women anymore. Now that's either the IDGAF (That I've had for about 6-9 months now at least, which others have finally started mentioning. Giving more traction to me continuing to believe, for a long time now, that I'm NOT the "resister". And actually was ahead of the curve, I just posted more rationally and accurate and didn't get carried away by small things, inadvertently obscuring the truth by being written off with confirmation bias. The extreme, and debilitating exhaustion that wrecked my lifestyle even...that I felt on V3.0.1, and on V3.1 at times as well, now finally being reported in V3.2 often, is giving me further cause to believe this.), or I'm just over it and fed up with rejection and what not. I'm not sure which. I just know I don't go out of my way for girls anymore and it feels good to no longer focus so much on them, get my power back, and not feel defined by my success or failure with them and always trying to "get" them or "be good enough" for them. Being so ridiculously preoccupied with them, but still failing with them has been damaging to my mental health and self esteem etc. I don't think there's much of a payoff to them for me, hasn't been so far so I don't focus on them anymore like I did way back. You get bored of reaching for the cheese and being shocked every time, even after constantly being enticed to do so, and how it's different and what not.
Even last weekend, I was talking with a brand new beautiful girl who apparently will be there sometimes when I return to that place. Flirting and what not for a reasonable time, enjoying it. As I've often said, my social skills ARE NOT the problem. They never have been. People always assume I'm the quiet introverted stereotype here for some reason that needs to just "get out there and it'll all work out", even though I've refuted it dozens of times. Social stuff is not my problem. Anyway, things SEEMED good, got the number easily, but that hasn't been my problem in the past either. Then didn't respond to my text, a small simple one with some callback humour and one she knew was coming too. A common occurrence for me, things seem good then just magically die, but it doesn't affect me anymore as I'm so used to it happening. This whole "chase" thing I've done for decades, I'm tired of, to me it doesn't pay off and hurts my self worth when it doesn't as it tends to affect me a lot and I dwell etc. so it isn't healthy. I'm tired of it. So I don't bother now. That was a spur of the moment thing due to her demeanor, and weirdly the interaction died right after initial momentum as she didn't reply at all. None of it lasts, it's good "in the moment", but there is no real attraction after, or initiative from them after. Now, in the past, I'd push harder to "make up" for her lack of initiative, "be the man and chase", which just makes them pull back harder, and it's ruined more so. I just don't seem to have the interest or zest for them anymore after decades of it all, seems like such a waste of my time, energy and money, awful waste. I'm tired of always jumping through hoops, and still never being deemed good enough somehow and being attractive, it's ridiculous and I resent the pedestalisation of chasing/jumping through hoops, and will no longer contribute to it. I think I'm a pretty decent dude, not perfect but decent at least. So if I'm always being down rated somehow and never "the hot guy" they actually want, at some point I stop bothering to please them as it seems like an unequal exchange and not worth it to me. I concentrate on myself and my main issue in my life now, which is fixing this new company. That to me is far more relevant and important, and will actually pay dividends to me for time, energy, money spent on it, instead of just wasting all 3 of those like girls have. That company is my number one focus in life now until it's fixed. I've been in tunnel vision since the post speaking of it. I can't risk any exhaustion from subs again during this crisis period so I've been very concerned with any signs of the extreme exhaustion I've felt before. I need to be focused to right the ship. Very serious situation, but I'm positive I can straighten things out in time.
However...ALL of this was covered already in that post you quoted. I've had some dreams and what not, after massive insane dedication my pounds are finally coming back off from V3.1's 34 pounds of fat put on. About 8 pounds to go. Other than that, not much else in line with design goal...which...as you know...is to have attractive women approach me for sex and do the heavy lifting to make it happen. However, to report on what's relevant to the design goal's aim, I naturally look for that. That doesn't mean I do nothing and expect Axe Effect, I'm still out in social situations, I've just long since lost interest in pushing and chasing all the time trying to get women, and just enjoy myself and do what I want and no longer focused on "women women women women omg I need women to like me, and need them to bang me, in order to feel complete or like a man". I don't like giving them so much power over me, I've done that for decades and it never got me anywhere with them, and made me feel terrible about myself to boot when it all failed. I'd report on other "interesting" things, but I don't know if I've experienced too much of that other than what I've posted. Decent but somewhat intermittent internal effects, not much if any REAL external results with attractive women. Seems to be the same thing still, the nice/funny/charming guy, but no real sexual attraction from them or initiative to do anything about sexual attraction if it exists. That used to pain me to write things like that, but it doesn't do much anymore to me. I feel very "meh" about girls, just tired of never being deemed good enough, so just unplugging from the rat race for female attention and validation.
Still not sold on this program, I admit I still don't believe this program can ever work to make what I consider to be attractive females, somehow aggressively pursue me for sex now etc., seems way too much of a fairy tale to me still. I'm still not a believer in it, sorry, I'm just being upfront and honest. Other than outliers or guys already capable of getting attraction and sex from women/attractive women before subs and thus obviously invalidating any data on whether DMSI did anything, not to mention party/club situations with drugs or alcohol naturally reducing inhibitions and lubricating situations...I haven't seen much to change my mind on that. Both with my own experiences, and other's. We'll see what happens going forward, I find myself always reverting back to saying the two words "we'll see" with each version update, but it's true. I hope to become a believer someday, otherwise I wouldn't bother using it.
I didn't want to post this as often my posts create tension or drama etc. so I didn't want to and chose to keep it to myself. But, given that it's been awhile, and wanting to reply to posts as others took time out to post to me, I did so with some hesitation as I dislike forum problems.
All the best to everyone.
Catman sometimes when we do not have the urge to chase women. It can be attributed to low testosterone levels. Now I am not saying this is your situation however it might be something worth exploring ?. Again I am not having ago at you mate just a suggestion.
Catman, I just wanted to drop in and say I truly thank you for your continued participation and reporting. I know it absolutely SUCKS to have invested into this program the way you did and not gotten enough tangible evidence but as someone who saw erratic results from prior DMSI versions and is now seeing better results...thank you.
I really hope the breakthroughs and progress attained by others will eventually occur to you. You've sacrificed a great deal and endured a lot and through it all you're still here. Everyone who's invested time and energy into this program from Shannon all the way down to members of the forum deserve to have the program work but nobody deserves it more than you IMO. Keep pushing amigo and thanks again.
(03-28-2018, 12:22 AM)CatMan Wrote: [ -> ]Thanks Determined and Ben!
One thing I forgot to mention, is that intermittent fasting is harder to keep doing on this version, annoyingly. I needed to work hard to get that VERY stubborn weight off that I put on during V3.1, 34 pounds! I got rid of most of it on V3.1 FINALLY, took forever and a ridiculous amount of restraint. I was so proud of losing 65 pounds before, amazing achievement! On V3.1, I struggled with it and 34 pounds piled back on, before I started near the end of getting progress at last on that. Now, on V3.2, I find it much harder to maintain because I get serious hunger pangs more often and earlier than normal. More energy use I suppose :/. I'll need to be more intense on it, because I'm not ballooning up in weight yet again with this version, no matter what! It's been hard enough to get all that weight off to begin with, and I was so proud of getting down to being so lean looking and feeling good about myself physically for maybe the first time in my life...never mind when 34 pounds piled back on on V3.1. So I'm not willing to let that slide again.
I'll edit original post to reflect this point I forgot to mention in it before.
Just a reminder that 3.2 has scripting in it to prevent weight gain, and to also burn off whatever fat you gained in reaction to (or ab-reaction to) 3.1. Furthermore, this version uses LESS energy than 3.1 did. I have turned off a couple of things that were using a lot of energy.
June 18th - The worst part of my business fiasco seems to be over now. Things are hopefully balancing out from that nightmare I was thrust into that lasted awhile.
That means I can now freely begin increasing loops without such worry of fatigue. I was very concerned of such happening again like it derailed me outrageously on V3.0.1, and on V3.1 at times, hell even on V3.2 at times at one loop! Now, I have the "bandwidth" to experiment with increasing loops. Yesterday, I started at 2 loops, over a small period of time I will gradually work up to 7 loops per day now.
I may compile a short update on things since the last post I made. But there isn't too much to talk about still. Just need to reread my offline journal since then and report anything that could be interesting. Nothing external with girls I know that offhand as that would naturally stand out, and girls continue to either not take me seriously as a potential partner and do not make any advances to me. Or, not reply to messages from me. Or lack sexual or romantic interest in me to begin with still. I asked one out recently I know and find attractive, and got a possibly lame excuse but I didn't call it out as it doesn't matter, they either say yes, or anything else in the world, that MEANS no. I always ask myself "Would they try to sell that to Justin Bieber if he asked her out?" I find it's a good way to not delude myself or lie to myself to spare my ego and be more honest about situations.
I still don't see anything "happening" with girls tangibly. Still the nice/funny/charming guy, but no sexual attraction or intent obviously. Some dreams or whatever I've had, but I don't put much stock in those as having periodically intriguing dreams isn't why I bought this. The apathetic feeling about girls seems to continue to be prevailing. Although as I've said before, I don't know if that's the program pushing this mindset, or just my continued lack of success and jadedness dulling my interest to keep trying as it feels futile. Even now, I still can't picture myself dating an attractive girl, still doesn't seem realistic to me. That may sound sad, but for whatever reason, it's the honest truth.
I may post more later after I dig through my offline journal.
Hope people are doing well in their journeys.
Quick update.
Last day of 1 loop, I had a dream. It was me on my bed, and a little girl, blonde hair and blue eyes, on my bed with me. I had the feeling she was my daughter. We were sitting there, and she said something like "Where is Mommy/Why don't I have a Mommy?". I don't recall exact wording. I said, again, don't recall exact wording "You don't have one/It's just us together/You and Daddy". She accepted my answer and was completely fine with it. I woke up right after. I looked online for the meaning of this type of dream, it was intriguing.
The next day I started two loops, as a result of that dream and what I researched it could mean. The second day of two loops, I had a dream. This type of dream is very rare to me on subs. I rarely dream of girls for some reason. Usually, it's abstract things I can't see their relevance to the sub I'm running at the time, especially when I run these "attraction" subs. Anyway, in this dream, I was at a bar. A girl was seated across from me in the booth, and one was beside me. I don't recall much of the girl across from me, I think blonde hair, can't remember eye colour. The one beside me was a girl I liked in my past, thought she was gorgeous, and like half my age too, lol. But I couldn't make anything happen with her, and she faded away, still friends of friends type of thing, but it's been like two years since we've spoken. Anyway, in the dream, she was seeming into me, and reached up to my face, grabbed onto it, and said "you are the perfect blend, you look young enough, but still "masculine man" enough to look up to, I really like it". Something like that. Her, and girls like her, have always been ones I couldn't get anything going with, and have insecurities about my age and it being "too late", and my looks not being good. So, this dream is self explanatory, and it being a very rare instance of me actually dreaming directly ABOUT girls, never mind one I know and was very attracted to, and that it covered actual insecurities I have, it was worth mentioning.
After that dream, I started moving up again, today at 3 loops now. I'm glad that the nightmare with my business is ending after so long, so not much of that terrible crisis left to handle. So I don't need to be so concerned about risking the terrible, debilitating exhaustion I experienced on previous versions. I needed maximum focus and energy during this period. Meaning now I can experiment increasing my loops over time to see what happens. At a bare minimum, H&C is continuing to occur it seems. In theory, some kind of clear tangible external results should happen at some point down the line then if that keeps digging, but it seems I've been looking for that since starting on V2.2 and it can be hard at times to stay open to that actually being possible on this I admit.
That's it for now!