Amann and everyone else, It is with great joy I can tell you guys for sure the program is working, and it's working extremely well and exactly how I hoped it would.
I just got some chicks number (10/10 petite BEAUTY), the thing that I noticed however was that I had even less anxiety and I was even less in my head it felt like. I was more comtorable talking to these women and I also seeked less validation and also it felt like I became even more of a natural now.
I was in a depressed state that day and angry as fuck, (the program however was helping calming me down and remain at ease) If I hadn't used the program I believe I woudl have been even MORE depressed and even more angry.
but anyways, I went from depressed/upset/angered and in my pajama's outside by a store met some chick got her snapchat, almost gave her a ride home but she was super shy, she tried running away from me playfully but I playfully jogged and told her to wait and I used my hands to try and slow her/ get her to stay.
I was trying to be careful I didn't want to be too forceful where it starts to turn from playful to serious.
even though a part of me wanted and maybe next time I should have picked her up playfullly.
but anyways, I got her to stay enough to give me her number & she seemed interested in me. because I was so confident and blatantly attracted and direct with her.
I actually met her 2 months ago she was a cashier at a store and I just banged an escort that time right before I met her so I was super confident and felt amazing, I kept staring at her eyes and she in mine and I told her "You know my favorite quality about you is, i mean i dont know your personality but my favorite quality about you is your eyes"
I got her name and I left it at that I hadn't tried to get her number that day 2 months ago.
but today when I saw her I shook her hand asked her name and I said "do you remember me?" "I'm the guy that thought your eyes were pretty" (i was looking at her in the eyes and still holding her hand while I said this. I also leaned in towards her as I said it for some reason.
I asked her wheres shes going and she said metrotown so I offered her a ride, she walked with me to my car that was around the corner (which is a badass 06 350z nissan now btw)
I opened the car door and instead of walking into my car like I expected she said I'm going to walk this way and skytrain..
Thats when the whole chasing incident happened (srry I wrote this story in a wierd timeline/order)
anyways, her friend came and i talked to her friend and met her friend too even though shes not attractive but I wanted the other one to see i'm not just being social with only her because shes hot but im social with everyone. I asked her friend if shes shy and she said "yeah shes really shy!!"
so I realized the running away and not getting into my car was not because of lack of attraction but because of lack of comfort probably.
She didn't know me enough to trust me. I could have been anyone in her mind.
I even made a joke "You think i'm going to steal you?
"
and when I was chasing her and touching her lightly tryin to slow her down I said "okay im kidnapping you for real now (in a playful joking way)
Fuck I was super confident today.
Thats how I know self esteem is working really well.
I was NEVER that comftorable. I was SUPER playful and direct and it didnt feel like i had any inner turmoil. not even a little. I think my anxiety is even less now.
anyways, I'll stay on this program long time. I had severely low self esteem many years ago and AM had faded, so i can probably really benefit from this.
Also the way im communicating with my friends is different then its ever BEEN.
im EVEN MORE expressive, honest and genuine. I really noticed this.