Subliminal Talk

(04-17-2010, 04:45 PM)alumni80 Wrote: [ -> ]If you feel comfortable sharing your story of how you resolved that issue, I would be most interested to hear. On this thread or by PM.

Thanks!

It came from abstaining from masturbation for 3 months, and that caused it all by itself. It was incredibly difficult to work back up to health. I went through all the same emotions, though. Feelings of uselessness, helplessness, and not feeling like a man. Three things solved this very quickly:

1.) Cardiovascular exercise (Running, Swimming, etc)
2.) Frequency. It took nearly 3 weeks to get back to normal, with masturbation once a day. No lube or porn. Until I was back into "shape", this would wear me out for the day. It also took beginning with 40 minute sessions, eventually down to 10 max.
3.) Association: Masturbation to specific women I wanted to have sex with, imaginatively undressing them and visualizing what I would be doing with them. This type of fantasizing in advance also increased the quality of sex with them as it increased blood flow to the area tremendously.

EDIT:
Although abstaining does increase my libido tremendously, it seriously kills the quality of erections. It also alters my day to day ability to focus and even makes me come off desperate to women. Overall it is not worth the trade to stop masturbation.

Thanks for sharing this! I will try it immediately and post results.

(04-18-2010, 09:38 AM)subadmin Wrote: [ -> ]

(04-17-2010, 04:45 PM)alumni80 Wrote: [ -> ]If you feel comfortable sharing your story of how you resolved that issue, I would be most interested to hear. On this thread or by PM.

Thanks!

1.) Cardiovascular exercise (Running, Swimming, etc)
2.) Frequency. It took nearly 3 weeks to get back to normal, with masturbation once a day. No lube or porn. Until I was back into "shape", this would wear me out for the day. It also took beginning with 40 minute sessions, eventually down to 10 max.
3.) Association: Masturbation to specific women I wanted to have sex with, imaginatively undressing them and visualizing what I would be doing with them. This type of fantasizing in advance also increased the quality of sex with them as it increased blood flow to the area tremendously.

Hey Andrew,

In addition to the subliminal (which I've listened to every night for a week now) I'm actively trying out your suggestions in my quest to restore my erectile health.

I'm wondering if you could elaborate on the second part of your formula: Frequency.

Masturbation once a day, no lube or porn. I've having a little bit of a challenge getting hard enough to masturbate. How did you get yourself to a point where you could achieve an erection and maintain it for 40 minutes of porn free/lube free masturbation? I'm visualizing specific women as you suggest in part three: Association but a full erection is still eluding me.

Thanks in advance for your insight.

(04-17-2010, 04:45 PM)alumni80 Wrote: [ -> ]Hey Andrew,

In addition to the subliminal (which I've listened to every night for a week now) I'm actively trying out your suggestions in my quest to restore my erectile health.

I'm wondering if you could elaborate on the second part of your formula: Frequency.

Masturbation once a day, no lube or porn. I've having a little bit of a challenge getting hard enough to masturbate. How did you get yourself to a point where you could achieve an erection and maintain it for 40 minutes of porn free/lube free masturbation? I'm visualizing specific women as you suggest in part three: Association but a full erection is still eluding me.

Thanks in advance for your insight.

That's a really tough question and to be honest it took a long time for me. I had to use a lot of imagination, I had to disconnect from memories of ex-girlfriends and use specific imagery from them (without letting in negativity from thinking about them) that really got me going. Also about the girl(s) I was with. At first, it was very difficult, but got easier and more natural as this is the normal way people masturbated before media. The point in this case is that climax is the purpose, and 40 minutes for that is not a good thing. Point is should be aroused enough to be able to do it quickly, indicating good erectile health.

Now when it comes to intimacy with women, sure I can go several hours no problem, but for maintenance purposes 5-10 minutes a day is ideal.

Besides imagination and invoking memories, I can't offer a magic bullet type of advice. It took a while to condition my imagination to where I could simply switch on like that. I won't go through all as this is a fairly public forum, but invoking x-factors helps with this. As in it does miles for me in real life and imagining a girl getting off (this is a bigger turn on for myself during sex than anything else). Or sometimes physical features, etc, visualizing them orgasming.

I almost feel like I should put a over 18 filter on this thread. EDIT: I just realized one more thing. Right before climax is a stage where blood rushes there, or at least should be. But there is a gap in between actually climaxing and further masturbation where you still get the blood rush. The longer this stage can be maintained during exercise, this is where the real improvements I've seen happen and the whole system gets healthier in my opinion.

If you can put an adult filter on, might be a good idea. It specifically states in the rules that we will be discussing adult sexual topics on this forum, but it can't hurt. I didn't see any such thing in the settings. It's been an interesting thread to follow, though... given me some ideas for new stuff.

An adult filter sounds good.

Your points are all very helpful to me where I am, Andrew. Thanks for sharing more of your story and adding specific tips. I'll just stick with it and work to improve my imagination. Years of porn have definitely "atrophied" that part of my mind.

Just so I'm clear, could you clarify what you mean by "invoking x-factor"? Do you mean, find and focus on that thing that really turns you on as a trigger to help with non-porn erections?

Your insights are appreciated!

(04-20-2010, 01:17 AM)alumni80 Wrote: [ -> ]An adult filter sounds good.

Your points are all very helpful to me where I am, Andrew. Thanks for sharing more of your story and adding specific tips. I'll just stick with it and work to improve my imagination. Years of porn have definitely "atrophied" that part of my mind.

Just so I'm clear, could you clarify what you mean by "invoking x-factor"? Do you mean, find and focus on that thing that really turns you on as a trigger to help with non-porn erections?

Your insights are appreciated!

Yes, the things that have most gotten you going during real life intercourse, or the things you never got to do (and want to) but imagine would be like. All the things that push your buttons. For example a woman's long hair brushing on an exposed chest is a trigger for me (as well as the one I mentioned last post). I have quite literally around a hundred, and probably more I'm not aware of.

Ahh. Thanks for clarifying "x-factor".

2 WEEK UPDATE.

I've been listening to the "Overcome Erectile Dysfunction", looped all night long, everynight for 2 weeks (missed one night).

The biggest change I have to report so far is that I've lost all interest in pornography. Not exactly what I was expecting with the sub, but a very welcome side-benefit. I was a struggling internet porn addict for years and while I made quitting porn an important project for myself on the way to restoring my erectile health, I wasn't focusing on it the last 2 weeks. I am happy to announce that now it seems to not be an issue for me at all. Any porn, any genre, any fetish, any medium...seems silly to me now.

Erection wise, I am getting some good erections at the start of love-making with my girl but find the erection quality (hardness) gets weaker with continued intercourse. We're having sex without a condom so I'm certain that if I was to put on a condom, I would be totally soft.

Part of me is discouraged; I still have no morning erections -- masturbation (without porn) isn't yielding hard erections -- and there's still a "will I stay hard?" factor in my sex life.

BUT I have to remind myself that:

1) I pretty much couldn't get it up AT ALL for the last few years without Cialis or Viagra and Now, I am having sex often with NO PILLS.

2) My erectile confidence is so far ahead of what it was before. I know I can at least get hard enough for penetration now.

3) I've only been listening to the sub for 2 weeks. That's not very long.

All these are very encouraging. I'll keep posting on this user journal. Any questions are welcome.

It's cool to hear that you are getting results from the subs. However, is there a lot of stress in your life? I used to not get horny or strong erections for long periods of time, but that was due to "a lot going on". If there are other stressors in your life, try cutting them out of your life. Once I started chilling and stopped worrying about women (now I just worry about money) I've been getting the best erections I've had in a while. And am just more hornier than I have been in years.

Stress and worries from anywhere can also play a part in poor erections.

I have never had trouble with achieving erection unless I was emotionally off kilter. I attach a great deal of emotional value to sex, so when I am deeply hurting, very upset, angry, frustrated, depressed, or feeling very emotionally guarded, I simply have no sex drive. That of course means no erection. Perhaps there's something along those lines you might find has something to do with it.

UPDATE

So, today is day 25. I've been playing the sub MP3 all night, every night for 25 nights.

I have to say, I'm a little discouraged. My gains in erectile quality feel minor to me. Here's where I'm at:

PROS

- I get intermittent erections when passionately kissing my girl
- I am hard enough for penetration
- I stay more or less hard for the duration of sex
- I am having sex without drugs! (cialis/viagra)

CONS

- I'm not rock solid hard except for brief passing moments early in intercourse
- go soft with condom
- when not with my girl, at best a semi-erection
- no morning wood
- no stirring/swelling when I see sexy women in public

Although I am happy with the developments on the PROS list, I wonder if these aren't the natural results of:

1) Quitting porn

2) No masturbation (I tried taking Andrew's advice and continued to masturbate (without porn) but found any masturbation made it difficult to get it up when with my girl so I stopped and found my penis much more responsive with her after abstaining.)

3) Stopping dependence on pills for erections and winging it, hoping I could get it up.

In other words, I wonder if the sub is having any effect of its own. It's hard to say. (these puns are inescapable..)

What I've been wondering is whether my speakers are broadcasting the silent, high-frequency signal. I double checked my system and my Altec Lansing InMotion3 claims Frequency response: 60Hz to 20 kHz so I should be okay in that respect.

Never the less, I am switching to headphones for the sub. I'll listen for the first hour or so of sleep, until I find them uncomfortable, then I'll switch to the speakers.

My goal is to have ROCK SOLID erections easily and naturally and often. So, though my results are something, I was hoping for more after listening to the sub for this long. However, I should say that I am grateful for my progress so far, and I'll stick with it and keep a good attitude about this process.

I'll keep posting results.

**also worth mentioning again: Absolutely no interest in porn. A strange, perhaps unrelated benefit. But I am loving that development.

One way to possibly know how much of it is the subliminal is to stop using it and wait for at leas as long as you used it, and observe what happens. If it is the subliminal, the effect may fade over time until it becomes permanent programming in your subconscious. That would be an interesting experiment. One that is necessary for me to know how to proceed with helping you, I'm afraid.

I think I'll keep up with the subliminal. Don't want to lose whatever gains I've made with it so far. The experiment continues! Will keep posting with results.