So I am into this girl and she into me, but she has a hoverer who is into her. I am getting vicious hate from this guy, including deliberate slandering. She is not aware of this guy's actions, but surely she must be aware of his intentions.....? He seems like a cool guy with lots of female friends and she entertains him to certain degree due to this fact, even tends to use him to make me jealous.
What do you all say, should I ask this girl out or should I back off? The kind of vicious hate I am getting from this guy can be felt in a room without a single word being uttered.
Or should I just expect this hate as a part of routine and continue to ignore it and keep doing my own thing? Please offer some suggestions, especially the more experienced guys. I fall in the not experienced category and this is a somewhat new experience to me.
Block him in all forms of contact, and when he's physically with you pretend he doesn't exist. If he tries to make it physical, defend yourself.
Actually even better than pretending he doesn't exist is just acting like everything he does is funny and "cute". Be extremely condescending and let him make a fool of himself.
(11-29-2016, 10:01 AM)robstar Wrote: [ -> ]Block him in all forms of contact, and when he's physically with you pretend he doesn't exist. If he tries to make it physical, defend yourself.
Yeah, "ignore it until it goes away" is probably the best course of action. Been there, done that. It's the hoverer who's making himself look like an ass. Any kind of slander tends to turn on the slanderer sooner or later, and he's showing insecure behavior by doing it (and women tend to notice that, even if subconsciously).
If the hoverer sees you are undeterred by his kooky actions, he will give up sooner or later in frustration.
EDIT
Oh yeah, and you can turn the "ignoring until it goes away" up a notch. Basically, you can treat him like air when he's around, especially when he's up to his tricks and the girl you're interested in is around. Pay attention to her, not to him.
Thanks guys, great feedback. I was wondering if this will get ugly in any form, considering the directness of conflict. Shouldn't I stay alert?
Never hurts to be vigilant. Like robstar said: should the guy become passive-aggressive or tries to go all macho posturing on you, tell him he's funny and "cute", whatever gets across the point that "you are beneath me, fool"
; if he gets violent, defend yourself. Hard.
Then again, slanderers usually do not resort to violence. If they had the guts (or were actually insane enough) to do it, they would probably do it sooner rather than later.
Get rid of her if she uses him to make you jealous, she's just going to cause you issues.
I wrote in my journal last weekend, that I had a girls ex's uncle have a go at her cos she was with me somewhere they were. And she said she was going to delete her ex off everything (e.g facebook) and she actually did.
Can you see how that is actually genuine as compared to this girl you're talking about who you said entertains him and uses him to make you jealous. She won't have your back if he causes any issues.
@ Have at ye
Hahah, good points, I will remember them.
@
Benjamin
Actually, I did want to do that, but then I realized almost every girl I have met in the past did that. This wasn't flirting or anything of the sort, just an indirect attempt.
In any case, this guy has got me really pissed.
(11-30-2016, 03:21 PM)Benjamin Wrote: [ -> ]Get rid of her if she uses him to make you jealous, she's just going to cause you issues.
I wrote in my journal last weekend, that I had a girls ex's uncle have a go at her cos she was with me somewhere they were. And she said she was going to delete her ex off everything (e.g facebook) and she actually did.
Can you see how that is actually genuine as compared to this girl you're talking about who you said entertains him and uses him to make you jealous. She won't have your back if he causes any issues.
But does she really use the guy to make him jealous or does he just perceive it that way?
(12-01-2016, 08:25 AM)robstar Wrote: [ -> ]But does she really use the guy to make him jealous or does he just perceive it that way?
Nope, I am dead certain of it. Like dead on. We can say this girl is the real "culprit", but more of a naive one than an intentional, cunning one. She is not aware of the shit she has got started. I am 100% certain she is not aware of the personality of this guy. I wouldn't be thinking so much into it, if this guy had left me alone. He has really pissed me off.
I am putting to immediate use the advice you guys have offered me, I will keep reporting the results here. It is unfolding slowly. Let's see. Things are really ugly right now.
I have one final question - to pursue her, or to let her come to me? Any suggestions here?