Day 22 - Flac + Hybrid Trickling Stream + Earbuds on 4-5 out of 15 notches
All those days I've been in strict healing mode. Confusion, jumbled up feelings, 0 aura generated.
So, today, I'm not going to listen to my loops.
And surprise surprise - interesting thing happened.
The usual.. hardness.. to focus, is mostly gone. I can remember things much better, and the feelings of confusion are much lessened.
There is also a slight strength in my movements. I believe the sub is executing again.
The point of this is, I don't think it's so much about me not taking in the loops today. I believe it is the intention that I set not to listen to the loops, that breaks the stonewalling, and allows the subconscious to execute.
I'll probably resume my loops tomorrow, but I just wanted to put this out there for Shannon.
P.S It's just a theory that seems to have worked for me. If you want to try it, be my guest, but remember, it's just a theory.
Day 33 - Flac + Hybrid Trickling Stream + Earbuds on 4-5 out of 15 notches
Day 1 of B - in other words, ran A for 32 days.
Nothing special to report, except that it feels like nothing is happening. I'm thinking of running the normal sub version, instead of hybrid. It seemed like there were more overt symptoms then, and we all love it when it's overt.
Will see what happens though.. there is this nice Thai chick moving into my hotel tomorrow
4-5 notches out of 15 seems awful low.
Day 35 - Flac + Hybrid Trickling Stream + Earbuds on 4-5 out of 15 notches
Day 3 of B now - 32 days of A before this
Nothing interesting to report with the female sex..
But.
I got something interesting for Shannon.
So, I was getting these thoughts of trying out Ultrasonic or Masked, switching to MP3, thoughts how "why bother, it ain't even working".
Also thoughts on how "ultrasonic gave instant symptoms!".
Obviously resistance.
So, what I did is run two extra loops of B.
...
...
...
Yes, I know that it's like shooting myself with a machine gun directly into the brain.. But I figured that I have pretty good willpower to survive, even if the subconscious would make me want to switch, and make it seem like it's my idea.
So, the most important thing for you, Shannon, is this.
5 minutes into the loops, I started getting an emotional rollercoaster. I NEVER had this before. It was so obviously caused by B.
It was structured in a cycle.
1 - Rage.
2 - Depression and hopelessness.
3 - Relief and slight happiness.
4 - Neutral state.
This repeated 2 times by now (listening to B at the moment, lol). The states were long enough to notice them and experience them, but short enough so that you can catch these cycles and notice what is happening.
My theory is that this is resistance getting brute forced. But, that's up to your interpretation Shannon, I'm just reporting anything that might be useful and/or interesting.
Quick Addition
On A, I noticed that I was getting back to gaming (been binging on Paladins, lol). I had to consciously limit my desire for gaming so as to try and keep my schedule of growth stimuli/study/work.
After the double input of B, I summarized a chapter out of my Psychology textbook (despite raging like a retard, because B), and finished a quite big chunk of work. The desire for gaming was there, lessened, but there was also a rekindling of desire for work and study, without the guilt of being too hard on myself accompanying it.
Day 5 of B - Day 1 of A
Switched to A.
Day 13 of A - 49 days in total
Just quick updates so I can keep track of how many days I'm on what sub.
Going to stop loops now, see if the bloom is there and decide if I'll wait for 3.1.
Resumed loops on 21st, so now is..day 16 of A, 52 days in total.
Day 33 of A - 69 days in total
Stopped DMSI yesterday (so technically, it was day 32..), in preparation for DMSI 3.1.