10-11-2016, 01:22 PM
I'm posting (data dump) what has happened since starting DSMI 2.4
Day 1
When I started the program for the first time, I felt a cool sensation 'flowing' down from the top of my head and down my neck and back. I also felt a warm glow at my solar plexus that felt like it was radiated out into the rest of my chest. I started the first cycle around 2:30pm and finished close to 8pm. After the final cycle, I felt energized! Normally I'm slowing down for bed at 10pm or so, but not this time. I believe I stayed up till 2am.
Day 2-3
I'm feeling physically hotter the longer I listen today.
Burning up, so I cranked the air on high and considered taking a cool shower, but then I would have to stop listening. Bring on the sweat!
Now I am starving! After a day or three of listening (cell + earphones and/or studio monitors) to 5 cycles, I've started eating 4 or 5 meals a day with snacking in between.
Damn, I just lost 15lbs of the 50 I need to lose this summer! I'll have to start the weight loss sub again after this...
Day 5
Trying to listen more with earphones and my Nexus 6p. I listen to the flac versions of the ocean track alternating with the stream today.
I'm getting looks from women quite a bit more than usual, it's odd because some women ghost me like a teenager wearing a ton of 'mones, while some just -engage- full on face and body.
I'm approaching women and talking to strangers a lot more than is normal for me. Although I'm outgoing, I just can't seem to keep my social mouth shut lately!
My house mates (female friends only) are putting on a butt show, or boobing me now because both of them are standing a lot closer to me than they normally do.
Day 7
Ok, the "housemate butt show" is too funny at this point. Something is changing because it's become a daily occurrence now.
The only pheromones I've been wearing around them for the last month has been Bliss (oil) and P96 (spray.) Neither one of them have reacted in this way to anything I've ever worn. The poor things have been exposed to at least 20 different mone combos in the last year or two.
I thought that wearing Bliss might help the 're-patterning' while listening. Also because after losing my job last Sept. and my online sales business has been slowing, I'm feeling a little down.
Day 10
Been listening to 5 cycles at night now...
It seems to be the only time I'm not interrupted by a phone call or a shipment. I had a late start to my morning, feeling a little tired but not too bad.
I'm running out to the garage (in just my underwear and bare feet) to grab a product to ship. I was almost to the garage door when I noticed a dust bunny in the middle of the floor (dryer lint?) Then it moved! I was one of the biggest wolf spiders I've seen this summer!
Normally I would wish for a shotgun or a large brick to make sure that it was dead... completely dead.. like an evaporating wet spot kind of dead.. forever dead!
In other words, I first feel serious fear and then over compensate with "great vengeance and furious anger." This has been a lifelong reaction to most things that scare me.
It didn't happen this time... I looked for a towel or something to sweep it out the door into the garage, alive. (what the hell is going on?) Ok, that was weird, maybe I'm just in a good mood? (No mones today)
I felt for that 'after-crisis fear' that I normally have and it wasn't there. I felt perfectly fine with no distress. Kinda cool, maybe. Spiders still suck.
Day 14
5 cycles every night for several nights now.
This morning I was walking out the garage door with a couple of shipments in my arms. (I'm using a large blue tarp to divide up our garage so that I can keep my products cool this summer and warm last winter.) I pass around the edge of the tarp heading to my truck when I feel a scratching sensation just above my left elbow on the back of my arm, you know, almost the softest part of your body!
When I lift up my arm to have a look, it's another huge wolf spider! He fell off my arm to the ground. He was big and fast, but he got smashed. Again, during this would-be 10 seconds of horror, I was fine with no fear.
Around 10:30pm I was heading home from watching some movies with a friend. I was stopped at a street light with a police car in the lane next to me on my left. The light turns green as me and the cop (slightly ahead) are halfway into the intersection, a large red sedan flies across the intersection right in front of us. He was so close to the nose of the cop's car that he almost took it off! I would've been t-boned in the passenger's door.
Of course the cop hits his lights and pulls the guy over. I proceeded through the intersection thinking, "huh, that was a close call." (fear? where are you?)
About 15 minutes later, I'm feeling around again for my 'after-crisis fear' and it's simply not there.
I don't even know what to think, but I'm wondering if healing modules are a factor? My after-crisis fear response always seems to worry and playing back all of the things that could have gone wrong if I had made this or that decision, or what would happen if someone got hurt?
Day 15
Still listening to 5 cycles a night.
Out shopping today, man I am a social beast lately! I've talked to more women standing in line at the store in the last few weeks than I have in the last 9 months total.
Driving home from the store, I'm travelling at the speed limit of 50mph and some idiot decides to pull out in front of my truck with only a few car lengths between us. They would've had to extricate his teeth from my radiator had I not -calmly- anticipated his mistake and swerved around him. I haven't been that close to killing someone, ever.
At this point instead of looking for the fear, I accepted that it was a close call, and no one was hurt and life moves on. This recounting is one of the few times I've thought about it since it happened. Again, normally I would go over it and over it, thinking of all the things that would've gone wrong...
It's a relief not to have that habit replaying.
Day 16
5 cycles last night, ending around 5am. I was wide awake at the end of the 5th cycle. (Get some!)
I'm not really part of the #445 Club but after reading Jocko's book, I've been saying out loud "Get Some!" as soon as I roll out of bed. It makes me laugh first thing in the morning even if it's at 9am.
-Today is lunch with the ex girlfriend...
Let's see how this aura tune-up effects her!
We met at Whole Foods for lunch and grabbed a booth. She wanted to chat about her current boyfriend issues. This isn't a new thing as we have been 'just friends' for about 5 years of the 12 we've know each other. I seem to give more productive advice to her rather than the reverse, but hey she's a Leo and it's all about her most of the time.
A normal lunch until, she grabs my hand from across the table to show me something... I was so shocked I don't even remember what she was trying to show me. She hasn't done anything like that in a long time. She keeps strict loyal/physical boundaries when she's dating someone. I can respect that. However, that hasn't stopped me from flirting with her every moment that we're together for the last 10 years! We finished our lunch and said our goodbyes.
There's more to come from her, I have a feeling.
Day 17
Holy crap, I just got number closed by a 65 year old woman! I didn't even realize it was happening until I was writing my number down for her.. Crap
She was asking me about a science vs. religion shirt I was wearing and we got to talking energy/religion/quantum physics and before I knew it she was asking me for my number so we could talk more. It couldn't have been the hot red head behind the register, oh no, or maybe the cute brunette on the grill! Crap!
I am however, enjoying this lack of fear and I'm outgoing normally, but lately it's feeling more like I'm a celebrity.
When I was shooting video at Jaguar dealerships in Texas last year, I wore CelebrityXS for every shoot and had an awesome time with the staff, lots of smiles and free stuff.
Day 18: A day that will live on in Epiphany (for me.)
5 maybe 8 cycles the night before. oops!
I decided to mow the grass today. It's relaxing on the riding mower, kind of like a meditation for me. As I'm mowing my thoughts drift to all the things I've been interested in my whole life and what the hell I'm going to do next with myself. I've been feeling adrift for the last year since the layoff from my video job, and my source for quality merchandise has dried up so the online merch thing is slowing down.
What the hell do I want to be when I grow up anyway? I've been asking myself this for over 30 years!
Without going into all the details that led to it, I had my epiphany. Right there in the middle of the yard, on the mower, I had sort of a 'road to Damascus' moment.
My thoughts that were "on deck" when it hit me were clear and distinct...
• I need to start actively printing prosthetic hands for disabled kids
• Most designs of printable hands are clunky and ugly? (bolt-on car accessories clunky)
• They should be more elegant designs like Tony Stark designed them or something
• Someone need to make amazing hands for kids and give 'em away non-profit style! Yeah!
...then BAM!
OH No!! Not me! No way! I don't know anything! I don't have a clue what to do! I'm ADHD, ENFP... Not to mention the fact that math and I have been enemies since grade school!
I felt abject fear. Terror. I had chills from my wrists down to my knees. I thought I was having a heart attack. Or maybe a tumor like in that movie Phenomenon, except without the genius parts?
Great, I'm gonna die as soon as I finally figure out what to do with my life...
So, I played devil's advocate with myself for another half hour whilst mowing until I felt a little more normal. Then, I thought about all of it again just as a test, and Bam! It happened all over again.
I couldn't shake the 'knowing' that this is what I have to do with the rest of my life. I almost cried real tears... or jumped off the mower and started running around screaming happy and scared simultaneously. That felt weird.
That was on the 29th of September 2016.
Shouldn't this be about getting laid?
...back to the DSMI
Day 23
Sticking with 5 loops a night.
I'm not feeling any extra heat, but I am extra hungry at times. I'm pretty sure I've gained 10lbs back this month.
My trip to Arizona was cancelled to my lady friend's chagrin... I was looking forward to laying some Aura on her!
Day 24
Been sticking with 5 loops a night, but I decided to skip last night and start listening at 9am today.
I am getting hungry again, but I'm not ravenous. I feel calm while listening to this conscious and alert.
While listening on earphones I drove to the store to pick up a few things. Almost every single female glanced at me while I was walking through the store. It was a little eerie and I figured they might just be noticing the brass earphones I was using. Shiny!
My trip to Tennessee to see some close friends (almost family) has been cancelled. They've been acting weird for the last few months anyway, so no surprise. I think they are getting more irritated the longer it takes for me to move down there.
October was going to be half a month of vacation for me between Arizona and Tennessee. Good thing my new 3d printer is showing up soon. That'll keep me busy and 'on track' with that destiny thing...
Wait, did I justify purchasing a new 3d printer using destiny??
Yeah baby!
Day 1
When I started the program for the first time, I felt a cool sensation 'flowing' down from the top of my head and down my neck and back. I also felt a warm glow at my solar plexus that felt like it was radiated out into the rest of my chest. I started the first cycle around 2:30pm and finished close to 8pm. After the final cycle, I felt energized! Normally I'm slowing down for bed at 10pm or so, but not this time. I believe I stayed up till 2am.
Day 2-3
I'm feeling physically hotter the longer I listen today.
Burning up, so I cranked the air on high and considered taking a cool shower, but then I would have to stop listening. Bring on the sweat!
Now I am starving! After a day or three of listening (cell + earphones and/or studio monitors) to 5 cycles, I've started eating 4 or 5 meals a day with snacking in between.
Damn, I just lost 15lbs of the 50 I need to lose this summer! I'll have to start the weight loss sub again after this...
Day 5
Trying to listen more with earphones and my Nexus 6p. I listen to the flac versions of the ocean track alternating with the stream today.
I'm getting looks from women quite a bit more than usual, it's odd because some women ghost me like a teenager wearing a ton of 'mones, while some just -engage- full on face and body.
I'm approaching women and talking to strangers a lot more than is normal for me. Although I'm outgoing, I just can't seem to keep my social mouth shut lately!
My house mates (female friends only) are putting on a butt show, or boobing me now because both of them are standing a lot closer to me than they normally do.
Day 7
Ok, the "housemate butt show" is too funny at this point. Something is changing because it's become a daily occurrence now.
The only pheromones I've been wearing around them for the last month has been Bliss (oil) and P96 (spray.) Neither one of them have reacted in this way to anything I've ever worn. The poor things have been exposed to at least 20 different mone combos in the last year or two.
I thought that wearing Bliss might help the 're-patterning' while listening. Also because after losing my job last Sept. and my online sales business has been slowing, I'm feeling a little down.
Day 10
Been listening to 5 cycles at night now...
It seems to be the only time I'm not interrupted by a phone call or a shipment. I had a late start to my morning, feeling a little tired but not too bad.
I'm running out to the garage (in just my underwear and bare feet) to grab a product to ship. I was almost to the garage door when I noticed a dust bunny in the middle of the floor (dryer lint?) Then it moved! I was one of the biggest wolf spiders I've seen this summer!
Normally I would wish for a shotgun or a large brick to make sure that it was dead... completely dead.. like an evaporating wet spot kind of dead.. forever dead!
In other words, I first feel serious fear and then over compensate with "great vengeance and furious anger." This has been a lifelong reaction to most things that scare me.
It didn't happen this time... I looked for a towel or something to sweep it out the door into the garage, alive. (what the hell is going on?) Ok, that was weird, maybe I'm just in a good mood? (No mones today)
I felt for that 'after-crisis fear' that I normally have and it wasn't there. I felt perfectly fine with no distress. Kinda cool, maybe. Spiders still suck.
Day 14
5 cycles every night for several nights now.
This morning I was walking out the garage door with a couple of shipments in my arms. (I'm using a large blue tarp to divide up our garage so that I can keep my products cool this summer and warm last winter.) I pass around the edge of the tarp heading to my truck when I feel a scratching sensation just above my left elbow on the back of my arm, you know, almost the softest part of your body!
When I lift up my arm to have a look, it's another huge wolf spider! He fell off my arm to the ground. He was big and fast, but he got smashed. Again, during this would-be 10 seconds of horror, I was fine with no fear.
Around 10:30pm I was heading home from watching some movies with a friend. I was stopped at a street light with a police car in the lane next to me on my left. The light turns green as me and the cop (slightly ahead) are halfway into the intersection, a large red sedan flies across the intersection right in front of us. He was so close to the nose of the cop's car that he almost took it off! I would've been t-boned in the passenger's door.
Of course the cop hits his lights and pulls the guy over. I proceeded through the intersection thinking, "huh, that was a close call." (fear? where are you?)
About 15 minutes later, I'm feeling around again for my 'after-crisis fear' and it's simply not there.
I don't even know what to think, but I'm wondering if healing modules are a factor? My after-crisis fear response always seems to worry and playing back all of the things that could have gone wrong if I had made this or that decision, or what would happen if someone got hurt?
Day 15
Still listening to 5 cycles a night.
Out shopping today, man I am a social beast lately! I've talked to more women standing in line at the store in the last few weeks than I have in the last 9 months total.
Driving home from the store, I'm travelling at the speed limit of 50mph and some idiot decides to pull out in front of my truck with only a few car lengths between us. They would've had to extricate his teeth from my radiator had I not -calmly- anticipated his mistake and swerved around him. I haven't been that close to killing someone, ever.
At this point instead of looking for the fear, I accepted that it was a close call, and no one was hurt and life moves on. This recounting is one of the few times I've thought about it since it happened. Again, normally I would go over it and over it, thinking of all the things that would've gone wrong...
It's a relief not to have that habit replaying.
Day 16
5 cycles last night, ending around 5am. I was wide awake at the end of the 5th cycle. (Get some!)
I'm not really part of the #445 Club but after reading Jocko's book, I've been saying out loud "Get Some!" as soon as I roll out of bed. It makes me laugh first thing in the morning even if it's at 9am.
-Today is lunch with the ex girlfriend...
Let's see how this aura tune-up effects her!
We met at Whole Foods for lunch and grabbed a booth. She wanted to chat about her current boyfriend issues. This isn't a new thing as we have been 'just friends' for about 5 years of the 12 we've know each other. I seem to give more productive advice to her rather than the reverse, but hey she's a Leo and it's all about her most of the time.
A normal lunch until, she grabs my hand from across the table to show me something... I was so shocked I don't even remember what she was trying to show me. She hasn't done anything like that in a long time. She keeps strict loyal/physical boundaries when she's dating someone. I can respect that. However, that hasn't stopped me from flirting with her every moment that we're together for the last 10 years! We finished our lunch and said our goodbyes.
There's more to come from her, I have a feeling.
Day 17
Holy crap, I just got number closed by a 65 year old woman! I didn't even realize it was happening until I was writing my number down for her.. Crap
She was asking me about a science vs. religion shirt I was wearing and we got to talking energy/religion/quantum physics and before I knew it she was asking me for my number so we could talk more. It couldn't have been the hot red head behind the register, oh no, or maybe the cute brunette on the grill! Crap!
I am however, enjoying this lack of fear and I'm outgoing normally, but lately it's feeling more like I'm a celebrity.
When I was shooting video at Jaguar dealerships in Texas last year, I wore CelebrityXS for every shoot and had an awesome time with the staff, lots of smiles and free stuff.
Day 18: A day that will live on in Epiphany (for me.)
5 maybe 8 cycles the night before. oops!
I decided to mow the grass today. It's relaxing on the riding mower, kind of like a meditation for me. As I'm mowing my thoughts drift to all the things I've been interested in my whole life and what the hell I'm going to do next with myself. I've been feeling adrift for the last year since the layoff from my video job, and my source for quality merchandise has dried up so the online merch thing is slowing down.
What the hell do I want to be when I grow up anyway? I've been asking myself this for over 30 years!
Without going into all the details that led to it, I had my epiphany. Right there in the middle of the yard, on the mower, I had sort of a 'road to Damascus' moment.
My thoughts that were "on deck" when it hit me were clear and distinct...
• I need to start actively printing prosthetic hands for disabled kids
• Most designs of printable hands are clunky and ugly? (bolt-on car accessories clunky)
• They should be more elegant designs like Tony Stark designed them or something
• Someone need to make amazing hands for kids and give 'em away non-profit style! Yeah!
...then BAM!
OH No!! Not me! No way! I don't know anything! I don't have a clue what to do! I'm ADHD, ENFP... Not to mention the fact that math and I have been enemies since grade school!
I felt abject fear. Terror. I had chills from my wrists down to my knees. I thought I was having a heart attack. Or maybe a tumor like in that movie Phenomenon, except without the genius parts?
Great, I'm gonna die as soon as I finally figure out what to do with my life...
So, I played devil's advocate with myself for another half hour whilst mowing until I felt a little more normal. Then, I thought about all of it again just as a test, and Bam! It happened all over again.
I couldn't shake the 'knowing' that this is what I have to do with the rest of my life. I almost cried real tears... or jumped off the mower and started running around screaming happy and scared simultaneously. That felt weird.
That was on the 29th of September 2016.
Shouldn't this be about getting laid?
...back to the DSMIDay 23
Sticking with 5 loops a night.
I'm not feeling any extra heat, but I am extra hungry at times. I'm pretty sure I've gained 10lbs back this month.
My trip to Arizona was cancelled to my lady friend's chagrin... I was looking forward to laying some Aura on her!
Day 24
Been sticking with 5 loops a night, but I decided to skip last night and start listening at 9am today.
I am getting hungry again, but I'm not ravenous. I feel calm while listening to this conscious and alert.
While listening on earphones I drove to the store to pick up a few things. Almost every single female glanced at me while I was walking through the store. It was a little eerie and I figured they might just be noticing the brass earphones I was using. Shiny!
My trip to Tennessee to see some close friends (almost family) has been cancelled. They've been acting weird for the last few months anyway, so no surprise. I think they are getting more irritated the longer it takes for me to move down there.
October was going to be half a month of vacation for me between Arizona and Tennessee. Good thing my new 3d printer is showing up soon. That'll keep me busy and 'on track' with that destiny thing...
Wait, did I justify purchasing a new 3d printer using destiny??
Yeah baby!