(07-17-2016, 06:56 PM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]Yes, I agree. But why do you say that, out of curiosity?
Ah, I just know it'd be fun to knock heads in person. While goin' full-spy with a button-camera and ear piece would be fun, sitting at a table with someone who holds the same interests (on a regular basis) would be nice. I'm like a fish out-of-water in my life. It's as if I don't know anyone, personally, who is broadminded enough to care about anything on the fringe that could better your life. I know people who love science fiction and fantasy, and like to fantasize...but anything
real? Really
real? That's where the buck stops. It'd just be fun to postulate back and forth - real time - with someone who's on the same wavelength.
(07-17-2016, 08:04 PM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]I know how you feel.
Me too, and I'm curious how either of you have relationships with women if you can't relate to them. What am I missing?
(07-17-2016, 08:06 PM)SargeMaximus Wrote: [ -> ] (07-17-2016, 08:04 PM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]I know how you feel.
Me too, and I'm curious how either of you have relationships with women if you can't relate to them. What am I missing?
I can relate to them just fine. But coming to that point required a lot of time for me. I think what you are missing is an understanding that females are human, just like you are. And, that they are typically very different than you. You seem to strongly relate through your mind, which is antithetical to how most women are configured, being primarily emotionally aware instead of focused through pure cold logic, like most guys are. I think that's where a lot of your disconnect comes from: you expect them to be like you in that way.
(07-17-2016, 08:10 PM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]I can relate to them just fine. But coming to that point required a lot of time for me. I think what you are missing is an understanding that females are human, just like you are. And, that they are typically very different than you. You seem to strongly relate through your mind, which is antithetical to how most women are configured, being primarily emotionally aware instead of focused through pure cold logic, like most guys are. I think that's where a lot of your disconnect comes from: you expect them to be like you in that way.
Well I'd be lying if I said I didn't wish they were more like me lol, but obviously that doesn't work, so what's the solution? I'm getting to the point where people are just mirroring me (I assume) because they want to be in my good graces, but I know it comes with resentment and isn't real, so I feel like I'm trapped behind my status a bit. I need a way to help people be real without changing who I am or losing my integrity.
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PS, I apologize for screwing up photo/video. I had my up/down volume buttons mixed. I was taking video instead of photos, and I had to screenshot off the videos. This screwed me up gettin' a photo of my hottie server. I've already adjusted the program so it doesn't happen in the future.
(07-17-2016, 08:13 PM)SargeMaximus Wrote: [ -> ] (07-17-2016, 08:10 PM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]I can relate to them just fine. But coming to that point required a lot of time for me. I think what you are missing is an understanding that females are human, just like you are. And, that they are typically very different than you. You seem to strongly relate through your mind, which is antithetical to how most women are configured, being primarily emotionally aware instead of focused through pure cold logic, like most guys are. I think that's where a lot of your disconnect comes from: you expect them to be like you in that way.
Well I'd be lying if I said I didn't wish they were more like me lol, but obviously that doesn't work, so what's the solution? I'm getting to the point where people are just mirroring me (I assume) because they want to be in my good graces, but I know it comes with resentment and isn't real, so I feel like I'm trapped behind my status a bit. I need a way to help people be real without changing who I am or losing my integrity.
The key is that you deal with people on terms they can understand and deal with. You can do that without losing your integrity, but they have to be able to connect with you in their own way. I am good at some things and not so good at others, so some types don't mesh with me. But I have taught myself how to understand a variety of different personalities through reading body language, vocalization cues, psychology and through the eyeball method as well.
You need to learn to understand others as they are, and communicate to them in their way. Deal with them in ways they understand and feel comfortable with. They are not you, and they never will be.
This thread reminds me of "Highlights" from Kanye West's "The Life of Pablo"
Sometimes I'm wishing that my d*ck had GO PRO /
So I could play that sh*t back in SLO MO /
I just shot an amateur video; I think I should GO PRO /
We only making the hiiiiiigghhhlights
(07-17-2016, 08:06 PM)SargeMaximus Wrote: [ -> ] (07-17-2016, 08:04 PM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]I know how you feel.
Me too, and I'm curious how either of you have relationships with women if you can't relate to them. What am I missing?
Yes, I can relate to them as well. My wife, in particular, is very cerebral - almost too much so. So while that was awesome at first, as I'm a very cerebral person on the surface, those who get to know me personally (which I'll allow very few to do) get to see a very emotional side under-the-surface. There are astrological reasons for this, which I won't get into here for Rule #4 reasons.
Like Shannon said, we're human. It took time and a deepening of our relationship for my wife to understand and accept how I choose to better myself. She's even gone from commenting "What's that awful noise!?" (referring to the US track - she can hear it unbelievably well) to not commenting at all (of course, she hasn't heard anything since E2). She's also gone from not having any background in metaphysics to referring back to me "lessons" that I used to believe fell on deaf ears. She's very wise, growing wiser, and I'm endeared ever more for it.
Life will unfold for you as it will. You're on a path of self-improvement and evolution. You're going to evolve, all-the-while experiencing greater levels of joy and pain. If you truly want a partner though it all, you'll get one (man or woman...or many men, and many women, lol). I was in the all-is-lost mindset once-upon-a-time, and now I can't even remember what that was like.
(07-17-2016, 08:22 PM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]You need to learn to understand others as they are, and communicate to them in their way. Deal with them in ways they understand and feel comfortable with. They are not you, and they never will be.
My late teacher used to refer to ARC - Affinity, Reality, and Communication. She said for a relationship to continue, 2 of the 3 were needed. Otherwise, there were what was referred to as an ARC-break. These can be healed, but require work. This is referred to (or taught) in Scientology (which I do not identify with as a religion, whatsoever). I do, however, agree with the logic that without feeling something for someone, sharing the same views on life, or being able to communicate with said person on a certain level, a relationship would be very difficult to establish or maintain.
(07-17-2016, 08:22 PM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ] (07-17-2016, 08:13 PM)SargeMaximus Wrote: [ -> ] (07-17-2016, 08:10 PM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]I can relate to them just fine. But coming to that point required a lot of time for me. I think what you are missing is an understanding that females are human, just like you are. And, that they are typically very different than you. You seem to strongly relate through your mind, which is antithetical to how most women are configured, being primarily emotionally aware instead of focused through pure cold logic, like most guys are. I think that's where a lot of your disconnect comes from: you expect them to be like you in that way.
Well I'd be lying if I said I didn't wish they were more like me lol, but obviously that doesn't work, so what's the solution? I'm getting to the point where people are just mirroring me (I assume) because they want to be in my good graces, but I know it comes with resentment and isn't real, so I feel like I'm trapped behind my status a bit. I need a way to help people be real without changing who I am or losing my integrity.
The key is that you deal with people on terms they can understand and deal with. You can do that without losing your integrity, but they have to be able to connect with you in their own way. I am good at some things and not so good at others, so some types don't mesh with me. But I have taught myself how to understand a variety of different personalities through reading body language, vocalization cues, psychology and through the eyeball method as well.
You need to learn to understand others as they are, and communicate to them in their way. Deal with them in ways they understand and feel comfortable with. They are not you, and they never will be.
Well I can (and do) do this, but I need some more practical methods as well as how to apply that information. I've been reading up on body language recently and just found that it confused things. I find it much easier to push through all the BS and lead people to where I want them to go.
(07-17-2016, 08:58 PM)SargeMaximus Wrote: [ -> ]I find it much easier to push through all the BS and lead people to where I want them to go.
A lot of that is listening skills. You find out what they want, and get them to understand you're the person to give them that.
Sometimes, it just doesn't matter. You'll fail. Come to my house, lol.
I had this sweet server one time. I was on a diet. Hardcore. She cleared our table and laid out dessert plates and spoons. Then she brought the dessert tray by, explained them and personalized them. I said, "Wow, you are so good at selling those desserts...but, I'm better at saying 'No,'" to which she had no retort. She could have gone a step further and said, "Oh yeah? I guess I'll take that bet and bring you...well, you look like you'd love the cheesecake, I'll be right back! If you don't love it, it's on me!" In that case, I might have caved, but how many are willing to do that? Not many, I'd venture.
Oh, and if I relished turning all that down, "Hahahahaha," I
might be evil.
Lawful Evil, Neutral Evil or Chaotic Evil? LOL Just kidding. Couldn't resist. Ah, the good old days of tabletop FRPGs.
(07-17-2016, 09:34 PM)RTBoss Wrote: [ -> ] (07-17-2016, 08:58 PM)SargeMaximus Wrote: [ -> ]I find it much easier to push through all the BS and lead people to where I want them to go.
A lot of that is listening skills. You find out what they want, and get them to understand you're the person to give them that.
Sometimes, it just doesn't matter. You'll fail. Come to my house, lol.
I had this sweet server one time. I was on a diet. Hardcore. She cleared our table and laid out dessert plates and spoons. Then she brought the dessert tray by, explained them and personalized them. I said, "Wow, you are so good at selling those desserts...but, I'm better at saying 'No,'" to which she had no retort. She could have gone a step further and said, "Oh yeah? I guess I'll take that bet and bring you...well, you look like you'd love the cheesecake, I'll be right back! If you don't love it, it's on me!" In that case, I might have caved, but how many are willing to do that? Not many, I'd venture.
Oh, and if I relished turning all that down, "Hahahahaha," I might be evil.
She failed because she was trying to sell the 1930's way. lol.