Subliminal Talk

Are you going to act on the other women part or stay monogamous?

Interesting DMSI works that way.Could also be because of your higher value because of it.

(08-06-2016, 08:55 AM)Roy Wrote: [ -> ]Are you going to act on the other women part or stay monogamous?

Interesting DMSI works that way.Could also be because of your higher value because of it.

I don't know what I'd do. I try to approach my marriage like the Latin phrase “primum non nocere,” or "First, do no harm." I don't always succeed, we're human and have arguments, or treat each other poorly at times. I always saw "cheating," as something that had the potential to harm trust and respect in a relationship because it's deceptive with the potential of unforgivable/irreparable harm. But now, with permission, it's no longer deceptive or an act that would breach trust.

So, if I were to act, it would have to be in the confines of that permission. It wouldn't be something to use as a springboard for more.

Whenever we've discussed cheating, my wife has made it very clear that a one night stand is more forgivable than an ongoing affair. The emotional aspect of cheating with someone where an emotional bond is formed would have way more potential to devastate her than a purely physical act, not mention threaten the marriage. To me, the dangers lie in that, contracting an STD, or having a child with someone else.

I'm curious how this revelation will affect my subconscious, manifestation, and the Optimus Engine.

many men have fallen for it, it always ends terribly.

You have a son together, I think it'd be awful if she flipped the script after you doing something with some other girl. Breakup of the family, alimony/child support evisceration, the whole nine. And, trying for a second kid, too, so where does fooling around with another woman fit into that picture?

I think she was just playing with you, I don't think she 100% means to step out. I knew there was something like this to the story, lol. I didn't think it was cut and dry go out and cheat.

Tread very lightly...the fallout won't likely be worth it. You got a good thing and seem to be happy and are getting ready for kid number two, maybe it'll be a girl this time. Embrace that, amigo.

You have a child together. If she did flip the script, could you handle it? Cause you can't just say, "Welp, sucks to be you - see ya!" after having a baby together.

My advice is to consider carefully the long term impact of any action you take. And have a very explicit private conversation with your wife about what the rules are now.

I set up my relationships in the beginning with rules that basically make it impossible for me to "cheat" because the rules explicitly state that I am always free to do whatever with whomever. Including intentionally have a LTR, children, etc. But, if you switch the rules around in the middle of a relationship, you really run a risk. Be careful, sir.

(08-06-2016, 05:06 AM)RTBoss Wrote: [ -> ]Couldn't keep you guys waiting too long!

We were getting ready for bed last night (and a baby-making session) when my wife tells me she's been looking at flights to Chicago. She thinks it'd be good for me to go and hang out with a few friends, see the city, get away. She's looking for fun things for me to do, which is cool, and a departure from pre-EHPRA 2.0 (to which we were both exposed)/DMSI (to which she has not been exposed) Mrs. RTB. This is the woman I remember from early on in our relationship. Mind you, we are now about 15 months from her grad school graduation and 12 months since she's been making much better money. The stress at the end of school nearly ruined us - full time work, full time school, and a new baby. Yikes. I think EHPRA helped accelerate the clearance of that stress, as well as accelerated the healing of our relationship from the damage of years of high stress. DMSI has only continued that. But, I digress.

One of my best friends from high school lives in Chicago. Last year, he got married for the 2nd time (to a much better woman). At his bachelor party (in New Orleans) I met his two best men. They were his roommates before he met his wife, and they're gay. One of them decided he wanted my D. While flattered, I'm wholly straight, but we became friends. He even recently traveled here for work, and I invited him to dinner to meet my family.

So I joke with my wife that if I went to Chicago, my buddy's gay friend would want me to stay with him. She joked he'd want to stick it in my ass (she knows he has a thing for me). I said, "I think he's a bottom." She feigned getting sick. Laughing, she says, "Oh, and you would do that?" "Nah, but I might take a BJ...A mouth is a mouth, right?" and laughed. She says, "Hey, if it gets me out of ever having to give one again."

I pause, intending to push buttons, "Oh yeah, so what about other girls, then?" She shrugs, "Go for it." I say jokingly, "Wow, this relationship just gets better and better!" I chuckled, yet, she looked serious.

Me: "So, I just make sure the girl is clean, and then I'll be open with you and tell you about it?"
Her: "Or you could just get one and not tell me about it...."
Me: "Uh, really?"

She just raised her eyebrows and shrugged her shoulders, like, "Yeah, why not, I don't care!"

I just said, "Wow, things really are just getting better and better! Fuggin' awesome!"

Thanks, DMSI! (Could this be the non-competition scripting?)

Oh yeah, then we had sex.

"My heart belongs to you. But my cock is community property" - Steel Panther

(08-06-2016, 01:53 PM)WIP68 Wrote: [ -> ]With women, there are no hard and fast "rules" the way a man would think of them. They make them up and change them depending on their mood, how they feel at that moment, or what their PERSONAL goals are, or what their indiscretions have been.

Bits got it exactly right with his "IT'S A TRAP" post.

Now to take it a step further, and hopefully you are not too offended, but if it's OK for you to do certain things and keep it secret, what is ok for her to do, and keep it secret from you? And I mean this strictly from her perspective.

As men, we allow our egos to trick us into thinking that we are the smartest and the more clever one in the relationship. What we are capable of, or doing currently, we think that they would NEVER do that to us because either they love us too much, or they are not like us, or they are a good person, or whatever other reason we can think of to support our egos.

When you get right down to it, women are exactly the same as men in their base carnal desires. So the question I would ask myself is "Did she just give ME a free pass, or HERSELF one?"

In a relationship, if the woman is making the rules, then the woman is leading. It should be that either both sit down and hash out the rules in the beginning, and agree to what works for both of them, or the man chooses the rules he is happy with and then seeks women who are willing to play by those rules.

In either case, she cannot "make them up and change them according to her whim" unless he lets her, and she wants to be on the receiving end of either his boot as he kicks her out, or him doing whatever he wants - since that sort of rules changing basically amounts to her doing whatever she wants.

Don't forget that a set of rules is intended to be what makes the relationship work for both parties. If he is too weak to stop her from playing "change the rules on a whim" (which is a massive shit test) that will lead to her doing whatever she wants and her disappearance if he fails to set the boundaries and enforce a set of rules for both parties equally.

But like I said... change the rules veeery carefully. It can have some unexpected consequences.

(08-06-2016, 01:53 PM)WIP68 Wrote: [ -> ]With women, there are no hard and fast "rules" the way a man would think of them. They make them up and change them depending on their mood, how they feel at that moment, or what their PERSONAL goals are, or what their indiscretions have been.

Bits got it exactly right with his "IT'S A TRAP" post.

Now to take it a step further, and hopefully you are not too offended, but if it's OK for you to do certain things and keep it secret, what is ok for her to do, and keep it secret from you? And I mean this strictly from her perspective.

As men, we allow our egos to trick us into thinking that we are the smartest and the more clever one in the relationship. What we are capable of, or doing currently, we think that they would NEVER do that to us because either they love us too much, or they are not like us, or they are a good person, or whatever other reason we can think of to support our egos.

When you get right down to it, women are exactly the same as men in their base carnal desires. So the question I would ask myself is "Did she just give ME a free pass, or HERSELF one?"

No offense taken. The weird thing is, internally, I really have no issues with her doing things with other guys. I'm not saying I want her to, but it wouldn't cause some kind of end-of-the-world reaction from me.

This convo didn't crop up from her lead - it was my lead. I seriously think she just hates giving oral that much and a part of her feels guilty. I have thrown that in her face a lot in the past, about how her friends all diligently go down on their husbands, but I can't even get head on my birthday? I even stopped giving her oral, even though I enjoy it immensely, because I thought, "Well, if you're never going to again, I won't be either."

Anyway, yeah, I could see her saying after the fact, "I WASN'T SERIOUS!" Like Shannon said, if I was seriously considering taking her up on her offer, we'd have to sit down and go over a new set of rules, etc.

What about a high quality woman?

(08-06-2016, 04:44 PM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]What about a high quality woman?

Agreed. Share and share alike. Also: "sharing is caring"

I don't follow your philosophy, Sarge, but I do like playing devil's advocate in arguments. It's definitely worth thinking about.

(08-06-2016, 05:30 PM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]I don't follow your philosophy, Sarge, but I do like playing devil's advocate in arguments. It's definitely worth thinking about.

Wait... now I don't get what you were saying...

This is how I read that exchange:

(08-06-2016, 04:40 PM)yeah! Wrote: [ -> ]I think its fair for a high quality man to be shared.

(08-06-2016, 04:44 PM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]What about a high quality woman?

(08-06-2016, 04:59 PM)SargeMaximus Wrote: [ -> ]Agreed. Share and share alike. Also: "sharing is caring"

The idea being that a high quality woman should be shared as well.

The idea being... there's two sides to every coin and you'd better consider the other side before making a move.

(08-06-2016, 06:34 PM)SargeMaximus Wrote: [ -> ]

(08-06-2016, 05:30 PM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]I don't follow your philosophy, Sarge, but I do like playing devil's advocate in arguments. It's definitely worth thinking about.

Wait... now I don't get what you were saying...

This is how I read that exchange:

(08-06-2016, 04:40 PM)yeah! Wrote: [ -> ]I think its fair for a high quality man to be shared.

EDIT: Dang, did I really write for that long, or did I stare off into space while Shannon posted and then start writing? Lol.

(08-06-2016, 04:44 PM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]What about a high quality woman?

(08-06-2016, 04:59 PM)SargeMaximus Wrote: [ -> ]Agreed. Share and share alike. Also: "sharing is caring"

The idea being that a high quality woman should be shared as well.

Like he said, he was playing devil's advocate. I don't think he said he was siding with that idea. You do, so talk about why - the pros & cons.

Jealousy and envy are human nature. I'm not sure how many could handle everyone sharing partners, or for how long.