Subliminal Talk

(07-01-2016, 01:18 PM)Natious Wrote: [ -> ]Scratch the less addicted to games part

Today I had this incredible moment when I could really notice the extent of my growth. Typically I'm this incredibly sensitive guy who gets emotional about every bit of angry remarks or criticism (not always showing though). Today there was this one guy who got INCREDIBLY aggressive and angry pretty much looking to get reactions out of people and myself. Whatever he said I could not get angry and just stayed calm. Not only that, but I also remained positive and called him out on being a dick, which he was. I was incredibly proud of myself after the moment passed and I realized what just happened.
Thank you angry man, for your suffering has made me see my progress!

Another thing that I have noticed subtly is that my confidence is growing (very slowly). I can say for a fact that it is different from the confidence that I had on ASC. While on ASC I felt that I was being fed confidence by force, on E2 it feels like the reasons why I don't believe in my self are removed.

On the flipside my brother attacked my father today. I don't know exactly what happened but they were getting their drink on and as I understand it my brother suddenly just attacked him for no good reason being incredibly drunk. I don't know what to think of it much because he has been an unstable person for a while. My parents are both relatively weak so they let these things go as if it wasn't THAT big of a deal by saying that they don't know what to do. I don't want to take responsibility for this and make decisions for them since I don't see it as my place. For now my brother promised to stop drinking, I guess we'll see how this goes. This is complicated and I don't want to intervene, but this shit is getting serious. I heard for the first time that he has already assaulted him twice before. I COULDN'T BELIEVE MY EARS. This family is SO broken that it's unbelievable.

I was a little hesitant posting this last bit, but I needed to write this somewhere.

Sorry about your family issues; Drinking is a number one addiction in USA and abroad. You do your best to hang in there. This forum is a good support for you

Today I woke up feeling incredibly relaxed. No jolting and anxious energy at all. Also my base mood line seems to be just a little bit higher. There are some of my sister's friends over here for 3 weeks on holidays and they stay up until the morning pretty much. This makes it rather difficult to get any sleep. I have to try really hard not to get angry at this, because then I won't be able to sleep at all.

Day ~90:
So today I have been keen on pointing out the hardships on E2, so it would only be fair that I write the good stuff when it inevitably happens.

Today I initiated conversation with 2 random people which is very out of the ordinary for me. In the past I would avoid conversations with strangers as much as possible, only answering when people actually ask for something. I was wearing pheromones today, but even when I have worn them in the past I have never started conversations with people. The conversation seemed like a natural thing to do because there was a reason for it, but other than that, a year ago, I wouldn't have said a word.

I am grateful for this program! The healing seems like a slow and dull process, but doable thanks to this program.

Shannon, you have done some great work, but this seems like the first program that I actually sense a deep difference on. This might be because I was so fucked up emotionally that other programs just couldn't work, or that I am a resistant person.

On ASC it was like I was told "shut the fuck up, you are confident!" and inside I wanted to scream "RAAAAGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!"
OF was pain, AM6 was pain. EPRHA 2.0 is what I needed all along.

By the way, ever since around 2.5 months I have started to notice a lot of positive improvement. Before that, roughly day 45-75 was filled with a lot of resistance. I wonder if there will be a pattern here. The start of the journey on E2 was harder to observe since some of the ASC effects were still in effect.

Also I saw a dream last night of me approaching this relatively attractive girl! YES! About time the issues with women get dealt with!

Today I see hope

I've been reading "The bbook of Pook", I got to thinking and I want to get testosterone supplements. I got my testosterone levels checked about 6 months ago, but never got to follow up on the next appointment. My test level was 4.67 ng/ml and as I understand, the norm is 3-10. 5 seems fucking low for my age of 25.

I will go back within a few days to get my levels checked again, and if they are anywhere near as low as they were before, I will go and demand a prescription.

On the subject, has anyone here got any experience with testosterone levels and the prescriptions for boosting testosterone?

(07-12-2016, 02:30 AM)Natious Wrote: [ -> ]I've been reading "The bbook of Pook", I got to thinking and I want to get testosterone supplements. I got my testosterone levels checked about 6 months ago, but never got to follow up on the next appointment. My test level was 4.67 ng/ml and as I understand, the norm is 3-10. 5 seems ***** low for my age of 25.

I will go back within a few days to get my levels checked again, and if they are anywhere near as low as they were before, I will go and demand a prescription.

On the subject, has anyone here got any experience with testosterone levels and the prescriptions for boosting testosterone?

Try kerogenic diet with intermittent fasting

Have been doing both for a very long time. Intermittent fasting is just how I live now, ketogenic diet is a little bit trickier and I am currently off it since the food costs go up and I am currently on the low side of finances.

Wow, it's like I feel better and freer each day! This morning I woke up feeling a little shit, but that passed quite quickly. I am more accepting of myself and my "flaws". To be honest they no longer feel like flaws but rather just something that is. E2 is the best sub there is!
The past 2 weeks have been only positive change!

(07-12-2016, 10:50 AM)Natious Wrote: [ -> ]Have been doing both for a very long time. Intermittent fasting is just how I live now, ketogenic diet is a little bit trickier and I am currently off it since the food costs go up and I am currently on the low side of finances.

I think something about E2 sort of freezes our financial situation so that even if we want growth it would be like trying to run through mud.

I'm 50+ days into E2 and my businesses have been notably slower during the second month of use. It could be that internal healing requires something like finances to be put on hold for the best results, but it's a little irritating considering how important money is.

I can't tell if I'll be doing 2 or 3 months of E2, but this is one aspect of the sub that's a tiny bit frustrating. In a way i see it as cutting the power to a circuit so work can be done on fixing it; the flow of energy has to be disrupted and put on hold so that the necessary changes can be made.

It's hard to tell how accurate this analogy is, really. But I don't know what else it could be. This certainly wasn't the case while i was using BASE.

(07-18-2016, 08:19 AM)heavysm Wrote: [ -> ]

(07-12-2016, 10:50 AM)Natious Wrote: [ -> ]Have been doing both for a very long time. Intermittent fasting is just how I live now, ketogenic diet is a little bit trickier and I am currently off it since the food costs go up and I am currently on the low side of finances.

I think something about E2 sort of freezes our financial situation so that even if we want growth it would be like trying to run through mud.

I'm 50+ days into E2 and my businesses have been notably slower during the second month of use. It could be that internal healing requires something like finances to be put on hold for the best results, but it's a little irritating considering how important money is.

I can't tell if I'll be doing 2 or 3 months of E2, but this is one aspect of the sub that's a tiny bit frustrating. In a way i see it as cutting the power to a circuit so work can be done on fixing it; the flow of energy has to be disrupted and put on hold so that the necessary changes can be made.

It's hard to tell how accurate this analogy is, really. But I don't know what else it could be. This certainly wasn't the case while i was using BASE.

Ive been on E2 since launch day. If anything, I've been bringing in more money with minimal to no effort. No, I don't have a regular job or anything, but money is coming to me at a higher rate than before E2 from various sources. But, since OE may be involved YMMV

(07-18-2016, 08:23 AM)maxx55 Wrote: [ -> ]Ive been on E2 since launch day. If anything, I've been bringing in more money with minimal to no effort. No, I don't have a regular job or anything, but money is coming to me at a higher rate than before E2 from various sources. But, since OE may be involved YMMV

Ok, was there ever a period where it felt like money wasn't flowing your way? You say you have been on E2 since it was released, so I'm curious how consistent this was for you. I'm only on day 54 of use, so I have a little way to go.

(07-18-2016, 08:42 AM)heavysm Wrote: [ -> ]

(07-18-2016, 08:23 AM)maxx55 Wrote: [ -> ]Ive been on E2 since launch day. If anything, I've been bringing in more money with minimal to no effort. No, I don't have a regular job or anything, but money is coming to me at a higher rate than before E2 from various sources. But, since OE may be involved YMMV

Ok, was there ever a period where it felt like money wasn't flowing your way? You say you have been on E2 since it was released, so I'm curious how consistent this was for you. I'm only on day 54 of use, so I have a little way to go.

Not necessarily. I'm in college and my parents pay for everything. It's just that recently, within the last month, relatives have been giving me money and I'm working on things for my career as well. By no means it's not an income one could live off of. But an extra 50-150 bucks a month is awesome for someone like me when everything else is already taken care of.

Money seems a harder to come by so far, but I'm not sure if it's because of E2. It is possible that E2 is working on some beliefs about money and that could temporarily manifest as a resistance to it.

This is not a pattern but I have noticed that with some things they get worse before they get better on E2.
So there's this thing at where I live. I am an early sleeper but my siblings are not. They can sometimes be noisy until 6am so I feel like I should care less about how noisy I am in the morning. This is now less of an issue than it was some time ago. Right now I don't care and just do my thing in the morning, not caring if it wakes them up or not. Prior to this I would constantly worry in the morning not to make too much noise EVEN if they had been noisy the night before. This got worse and worse to a point where I would feel so insecure that I pretty much sneaked around. And then at some point I just didn't care anymore. But before it got to the point where I don't care that much, it got worse and wo

(07-18-2016, 01:28 PM)Natious Wrote: [ -> ]Money seems a harder to come by so far, but I'm not sure if it's because of E2. It is possible that E2 is working on some beliefs about money and that could temporarily manifest as a resistance to it.

This is not a pattern but I have noticed that with some things they get worse before they get better on E2.
So there's this thing at where I live. I am an early sleeper but my siblings are not. They can sometimes be noisy until 6am so I feel like I should care less about how noisy I am in the morning. This is now less of an issue than it was some time ago. Right now I don't care and just do my thing in the morning, not caring if it wakes them up or not. Prior to this I would constantly worry in the morning not to make too much noise EVEN if they had been noisy the night before. This got worse and worse to a point where I would feel so insecure that I pretty much sneaked around. And then at some point I just didn't care anymore. But before it got to the point where I don't care that much, it got worse and wo

It now appears to be whatever area in your life that needs to be healed will experience turbulence. For us and some other E2 users that means finances go neutral for a little while. I'm guessing Maxx required far less, if any, healing for his finances so that was hardly affected.

I have a similar guilt/ shame/ fear type scenario about caring what others think. When i go out shopping and I'm in a super crowded place like Walmart I used to get a little uneasy if i made eye contact with someone, namely women, if i had zero intention of talking to them. Now i can just walk and float around letting my gaze hit pretty much everyone and not give a shit. If they smile back, that's fine. But I'm now more a IDGAF type guy, and it's made me notably happier since I'm acting without social regard for how others think.

I mean previously i didn't consciously act just to please others. That's not my style anyway, but I mean i can walk through purposefully knowing what i want and not care if people look / stare.

Barely having woken up, eyes still shut and dreams talking in the background, I felt this big emptiness inside me. My life is meaningless, there is currently no direction and I am waiting for death to come knocking. Time has flown by so fast that I don't even remember what my dreams were. Life has become so empty that I have forgotten how to dream altogether. Some years ago I truly wanted to be an actor, but so much fear that I gave up quickly. I don't even know for sure what I want to do or what I want to be.

I am standing still. I don't know what to do or where to aim. Sad, empty and with little hope.