Day 22,
My problem with stating a logically coherent line of thought is gone. But speaking is still shot.
I got into an argument with a co-worker, who wanted to suspend one of our students for something he did with my permission (crossing the road to collect something). I was able to prove my case with strength and eloquence. She resorted to the "but, it's never okay!" form of argument (non-logic).
I'm now listening to an audiobook about the criminal law; I will continue learning about other forms of law (contract, property, tort, etc.). Law could have been an interesting topic, if I had to do it all over again.
I've also finished studying my library book of John Stuart Mill's works; On Liberty, Subjection of Women, and Utilitarianism. I will now work on Macchiavelli's 'The Prince', and probably finish it before I have to return it.
I still have Thomas Paine's 'Age of Reason' and 'Common Sense', but I'll have to hand that in. That's okay, since I have to start chipping away at my book on Aristotle.
These books are definitely raising my levels of awareness to meet the concise points found within them. It's noticeable in the moment, and also when I receive some line of stupidity that is all too often found in political talking points.
EDIT: I finished recording all the audio and video for my Udemy course. I find that my speaking voice is "low energy". Keep in mind that I had just recovered from a cold, but it's almost embarrassing how "low-energy" and droning it is. However, whenever I try to introduce some energy or spirit, I almost immediately begin stuttering. So it's really annoying for me.
Additionally, I had a very good wank yesterday, and I've noticed that it zaps any energy that you can project when interacting with others.
In fact, it affected me today; I introduced myself to a girl, and she was creeped the fuck out. I didn't really feel any emotion when I met her; strange that even a lack of emotion is enough to set off a woman's alarms.
Day 25,
I very much like the idea of playing my subliminals without worrying about time; I just let them play for as many days as I want without worrying about results. They'll come (and they already have to an extent)
Day 34 (golly, I've hardly had to count past 32 for a long while),
I found this video on increasing brain power:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sc7NNr8KnYs
It included Dual n-back, as well as a 1,000 - 10,000+$ treatment (EEG Neurofeedback), which has some research that says Neurofeedback raises IQ by 12 points (on average). It works by feeding back the audio of your brainwaves back at your brain, and your brain heals itself.
There's another device called the "Peanut", like a headband that you put on your head; 5 minutes with the device, and it raises your score on some standardized focus test by 1 point. The peanut costs about 900 USD.
I didn't realize that Dual n-back can increase your IQ by roughly 10 points (if you can cap out your skill, which could be n=7 to n=9). It didn't take long
I got back into Dual n-back; yesterday and today, I managed to get up to n=5 and stay there. I've never gotten so far before (and stayed).
I've also just bought Gingko Boloba and popped one earlier today; I'll use 2 per day. On the same trip, I bought Mass Effects 1,2, & 3 (3-pack), pre-ordered a JS Mill and Thomas Paine book, and bought Beard Oil (much less itch!).
The Stuttering subliminal seems to have fallen back in progress; I don't feel comfortable to speaking my mind at full speed on the fly. I've been completely capable of doing it before; so it's frustrating.
The MLS subliminal doesn't feel like it's working, BUT... from one read-through of an article on the neurobiology of reward systems, I've remembered (without really trying to) that the reward system of the brain is based upon the GABAenic D-type medium length spiny neuron. And that there are D1 types and D2 types (didn't dig further). Something like that. So it's definitely got an impact.
However, any new German word just washes over me, even when I attempt to use mnemonic tools. Fortunately, Germans speak very clearly, so when I put this into practice, it won't be TOO difficult.
I've also submitted my course for Udemy, and it looks like it will get accepted very soon. $$$ !!
Day 37, Happy Easter
Been taking my omega-3, Gingko Biloba, and Vitamin D pills.
Got my dual n-back to n=6, which I couldn't believe, since when I am at n=4, it's sometimes tricky to jump up to n=5.
German flashcards has not been as impossible as it usually has been; though I get stuck on a set of words, I can pick a great deal of them up. Once I finish flashcards, I'll review my Spanish cards, and begin Arabic whilst doing LingQ for German.
I've been getting into Amazon FBA - about to line up some products - and I've gotten my Udemy course approved, so I've made 2$ from it so far (woot!). My Kindle sales have been going down.
My studies in my state exam has been worth it; still need to invest more time into it.
Day 42
Stop Stuttering must be working if I can recite a two minute audio piece, with great pacing and dynamics, in one take (after 5-6 tries).
Day 44,
I'm quite thrilled with how my dual n-back scores have improved. My baseline is n=5; if I really mess up, I'll drop down to 4, but I'll instantly get it back up. But I can get up to 6 and keep it there in most cases. Soon, I'll break-through to 7 and beyond.
Stuttering is not totally resolved. Hope that will be consistent soon.
Day 50,
Stuttering has improved. My work term has ended, so I'll be looking for jobs very soon. I'm working on a 3rd Udemy course, as well as the 9th, 10th, and 11th Kindle books. However, my income has been freezing up, so I don't know what's going on. It feels terrible.
I've got my eye on 'BASE 2.1', but I'd be more willing to take the leap if it were for sale in stages.
Day 54,
I'm teetering on getting 'Stop Masturbating' to replace 'Stop Stuttering', given the deep effect that I'm now realizing that masturbation has on me.
The principal effect is on my zest for life, as well as my ambition and motivation. Today, I felt actual despair a few hours after a session. I connected the dots soon after.
I've also gone back and realized my zest and overall well-being was highest when I had gone over 5-6 days without masturbating.
It's interesting, because I don't think I have any addictions, but addiction to orgasms might just be my vice.
My speaking is generally better, and now I'm finding that it's the person behind the words that lacks personal power, because he continually drains it and throws it away, creating an empty vessel in himself that is more easily filled and swayed by others' emotions.
Not sure when I will pull the trigger. EDIT: by that, I mean to purchase the program. No misunderstandings when I use 'trigger' and 'despair' in the same post
Day 60,
I've beginning to see through Ben Shapiro's rhetorical points; he is very good at using Complex Questions (a fallacy), Oversimplified Generalizations (an inductive fallacy), odd hypothetical questions, as well as Galt's Gallop (confusing your opponent) to win debates.
The thing is that nobody calls him on it, which is why he has the allure of an untouchable. With certain topics such as religious freedom, his biases become clear, at the expense of rational discourse (see above).
I still wouldn't be able to take him on in a debate in the moment, primarily because I don't speak fast enough, but give me 5 years.
I think that I've invented a new type of logical fallacy, called:
The "If Things Were Different, Things Would Be Different" Fallacy.
Definition: When somebody corners you into an unrealistic hypothetical, and forces you to argues based upon the premises of the hypothetical alone.
Example: If a rich person had been born poor instead of rich, they clearly wouldn't be able to cut it in the real world, based upon their actions as a rich person.
Adequate Response: "If I had been poor, life's vicissitudes would have pushed upon me differently, and so I'd have adapted as a poor person. But there's no real way of knowing unless I'd have been poor to begin with."
I've been underemployed for almost 8 months. I'm actually considering joining the army for a bout of steady work and some practical training.
The downsides are pretty tremendous, though; can't work on online business, can't date, can't build a social circle, can't do subs, can't practice singing or guitar.
I could also teach English as a second language in another country; I'd get to learn a foreign language (maybe Korean or Chinese), live somewhere else, socialize, date, do subs, and work on my business and music.
Day 61,
I'm just about to buy 'Stop Masturbating'. Each time I masturbate, I notice more than ever the impact if has on me, even going so far as to undermine the effects of AM6.
Once I manage to stop, I may re-run AM6.
Day 62 MLS,
Day 1 SMast. 2 Days since last PMO
Yesterday, I had gotten such intense brain fog due to the previous night's "mingling" that it was impossible to focus, study, read, or feel any form of motivation or excitement for life. I then become thoroughly convinced that my emotional state is more intimately connected to my sexual habits than I had wanted to admit.
I decided then that I was so completely done with the entire drama of it; I now realize that this sort of habit has cost me romance, sex, money, academic credentials, learning abilities, long-term motivation, reading speed, mental processing power, and my progress in my life story.
I'm now starting to question whether to attribute this habit to undoing some of the results that I have gotten from 6-Stage programs, such as Alpha Male and Sex Magnet; if I drain myself of the desire for sex with a woman, how could I expect the program to run its course correctly?
In reading the accounts of the many people who have tried the No-Fap lifestyle, I've soon become convinced that I needed to start using my current subliminal, 'Stop Masturbating', and to put this into place right now.
Here's the situation; I'm not even a bad case; I do it every 1-4 days on average. But, I had my first orgasm, by my own hands, at 10 years old. I viewed porn for the first time at the age of 13 or 14. I distinctly remember that on the night where I jerked off to porn, I entirely forgot to brush my teeth (which I never do). This distancing, contrasting where I am now to the person I may have embodied without this, has, as a concept, at least, has weighed upon me on the last few days.
A day or two after I masturbate, I tend to be quiet, non-social, passive, and soft-spoken. For years, I've accepted this as "the way I am".
I am truly interesting in learning firsthand the effects of long-term abstinence from this habit.
Day 63 MLS,
Day 2 SMast. 3 Days since last PMO
Any time I have the thought "screw it; let's jerk the turkey tonight", I get zapped out of it.
I don't think this brain fog is directly related to masturbation; rather, it might be resistance from Maximum Learning Speed, as it's still present.
But, I'm glad that I've started this subliminal.