01-03-2016, 08:53 AM
Hi everyone
I was posting on another thread, but I thought it was best to start my own.
I am currently listening to Overcoming Fear 4G and I have been doing so now for 15 days.
I have overcome a lot of my social anxiety, but it still restricts me. I do a sales job which helped me improve a lot, but I still will avoid certain situations and I don't perform to my best because of it. If anything I use work as a crutch. Although I am very talkative one of my beliefs is I don't know what to talk about and this can be in my head constantly in social situations. I have managed it through sales because I have the crutch of always talking about business and then people are busy so there is always a reason to end the call.
From a social point of view is where I suffer, however I'm not in a position or want to chat up girls as I have a girlfriend. It is fine with her as she knows about it and even she has seen me improve greatly. I did do toastmasters for public speaking, which helped me for work, however this isn't what holds me back.
I can speak to people initially for 10 mins or so, but my fear comes down to when you are with someone for large amounts of time like walking or dinner or parties where you are expected to speak. In my job I'm very good at cold calling and getting new business, but I don't always do it because my fear holds me back. Sometimes I have to gulp a coffee and literally force myself to do it. I'm doing well but need to do better. I'm very good at appearing confident, but I think ultimately it comes down to low self-esteem i.e. I don't know what to talk about, I have nothing interesting to say. I used to be on meds and I am no longer on them. It's been over a year, but I take pregnenolone (turns off the stress response) I go to the gym regularly and have lots of sleep so it’s just about manageable. I developed this about 10 years ago I think when I smoked weed and I used to be so confident and have lots of friends and never socially was there a problem so it has been quite frustrating.
I have achieved a lot in the last few years, but I am only coping and life is a struggle. My head is filled with lots of negative shit even though I'm a positive person so it would be great to get rid of it!
So 15 days so far listening to the sub while I'm asleep. I usually sleep 8 hours, but need 9 with the sub. Admittedly I haven't been at work due to Christmas and haven't really socialised other than seeing family so we will see how it goes when I return to work tomorrow. I have however been having really vivid strange dreams. I can't think of any examples as I have forgotten so I may write them down when I wake in the future. But there has been some really scary stuff and I feel like I'm actually in them and I have the power to make decisions. Almost I am challenging the fears in my dreams!
Apparently I read that at 15 days your subconscious starts to battle with you really hard so I'm going to push through, but I hope I see some changes soon, but may take a while as these beliefs are deeply ingrained. This is my first sub and I don't know how long I should do it for? Some people have said 6 months. The only thing that is stopping me is that in Feb I'm going on holiday for 2 weeks with my GF so I don't know how I can listen to the sub as we will sleep in the same bed. I go on the third so it will have been roughly 45 days listening to the sub so I'm wondering whether it will ruin all my progress if I stop after 45 days have a 2 week rest and then start again.
Also I don't know whether this is the best sub to get rid of my problems? I was think of maybe doing EPHRA and then a confidence one. Ideally I want to do BASE and lots of other things in my life, but I want to clear out the crap and create a good standing before I start adding other things.
Anyway any questions let me know and I would say I am a very good test case for this sub!
I was posting on another thread, but I thought it was best to start my own.
I am currently listening to Overcoming Fear 4G and I have been doing so now for 15 days.
I have overcome a lot of my social anxiety, but it still restricts me. I do a sales job which helped me improve a lot, but I still will avoid certain situations and I don't perform to my best because of it. If anything I use work as a crutch. Although I am very talkative one of my beliefs is I don't know what to talk about and this can be in my head constantly in social situations. I have managed it through sales because I have the crutch of always talking about business and then people are busy so there is always a reason to end the call.
From a social point of view is where I suffer, however I'm not in a position or want to chat up girls as I have a girlfriend. It is fine with her as she knows about it and even she has seen me improve greatly. I did do toastmasters for public speaking, which helped me for work, however this isn't what holds me back.
I can speak to people initially for 10 mins or so, but my fear comes down to when you are with someone for large amounts of time like walking or dinner or parties where you are expected to speak. In my job I'm very good at cold calling and getting new business, but I don't always do it because my fear holds me back. Sometimes I have to gulp a coffee and literally force myself to do it. I'm doing well but need to do better. I'm very good at appearing confident, but I think ultimately it comes down to low self-esteem i.e. I don't know what to talk about, I have nothing interesting to say. I used to be on meds and I am no longer on them. It's been over a year, but I take pregnenolone (turns off the stress response) I go to the gym regularly and have lots of sleep so it’s just about manageable. I developed this about 10 years ago I think when I smoked weed and I used to be so confident and have lots of friends and never socially was there a problem so it has been quite frustrating.
I have achieved a lot in the last few years, but I am only coping and life is a struggle. My head is filled with lots of negative shit even though I'm a positive person so it would be great to get rid of it!
So 15 days so far listening to the sub while I'm asleep. I usually sleep 8 hours, but need 9 with the sub. Admittedly I haven't been at work due to Christmas and haven't really socialised other than seeing family so we will see how it goes when I return to work tomorrow. I have however been having really vivid strange dreams. I can't think of any examples as I have forgotten so I may write them down when I wake in the future. But there has been some really scary stuff and I feel like I'm actually in them and I have the power to make decisions. Almost I am challenging the fears in my dreams!
Apparently I read that at 15 days your subconscious starts to battle with you really hard so I'm going to push through, but I hope I see some changes soon, but may take a while as these beliefs are deeply ingrained. This is my first sub and I don't know how long I should do it for? Some people have said 6 months. The only thing that is stopping me is that in Feb I'm going on holiday for 2 weeks with my GF so I don't know how I can listen to the sub as we will sleep in the same bed. I go on the third so it will have been roughly 45 days listening to the sub so I'm wondering whether it will ruin all my progress if I stop after 45 days have a 2 week rest and then start again.
Also I don't know whether this is the best sub to get rid of my problems? I was think of maybe doing EPHRA and then a confidence one. Ideally I want to do BASE and lots of other things in my life, but I want to clear out the crap and create a good standing before I start adding other things.
Anyway any questions let me know and I would say I am a very good test case for this sub!