Subliminal Talk

Now I present to you my not so easy run of OF. To anyone interested in the 2 month and 4 month milestone feedback, they can be found HERE for 2 months and HERE for 4 months.

Like with all stories, let's start from the beginning. Not so long ago this summer I decided to run OF, but little did Natious know about how hard this ride was going to be. This is not one of those stories that has me facing my deepest fears by throwing myself at the mercy of a challenging situation like climbing the mount Everest to face the fear of heights. This is rather the more realistic and maybe only mildly interesting to read story. Actually to think of it, it's not a story at all, it's more like a combination of realizations and small situations that might bring some awkward joy to the average reader.

About 2 months ago I was travelling across Europe as I was on a rather long holiday for a total of 4 months or so. A rather unfortunate time to be facing fears and resistance and yet I only missed like 3 days on the whole trip. There was a lot of drinking and although a lot of weird stuff happened because of it, it is a good thing since I've been sober for over a month now and don't really plan on going back to drinking ever again. One of the cooler things that everyone should try is Sauna or if we're talking about cooler things then jumping into a frozen lake afterwards.
Now the general vibe of OF was rather rough for someone on a holiday so I don't recommend it to whoever is choosing a sub to run while trying to relax. A lot of the time I felt insecure and just very disconnected from everything and anyone, but not all the time, there were some very good days when everything seemed to make sense. There's a positive side to this though and that is reflection, this sub will very often just sit you in a chair and and make you go "What the fuck is going on?", after asking that question from yourself a few times you will start developing self awareness that would normally take many years to acquire.

I think it would have helped me to write down some more specific goals for this sub, it makes it a little difficult to compare the results in the fears department. I have noticed a lot of the resistance toward fears which has manifested by surfacing almost all fears at once and nearly a few panic attacks, this did however fade the longer I had run the sub. My main goal was to get rid of my social anxiety and I sadly have come to realize that it was not reduced much during my time on OF. I can't say that it was a complete bust though since there are some instances where my interaction with the outer world is smoother and I feel a little safer. There seems to be a deeper issue that keeps the anxiety in its place, when I start thinking of what the bullying felt like in my childhood then it isn't simply fear, but also a great amount of guilt and shame for not being able to defend myself and stand up for myself. Sounds like a run of EHPRA 2.0 could help!
An incredibly interesting side effect from OF (or being sober) is that my anger has reduced A LOT, it's like when I get a little angry at some things I automatically see the situation from other perspectives and that kind of diffuses the anger. This I did not see coming.
Another thing that changed during OF is that I feel like I want to take more action, so far running subliminals has been more of a hit play and wait for changes to appear, this attitude has changed on OF. Basically I have been a little bit more active in pushing myself toward moving forward. In about a month I'll be starting a program that can land me a paid intern ship in marketing (not sure if I translated this correctly) which I plan on pursuing for about a year and then move to Canada. As I mentioned I'm sober for over a month and off PMO for about the same amount with the exception of P (4+ months). I have been working out and purchased some creatine to go with it. Today I started this program called freeletics which I'll be doing for 3 months after which I will see whether I want to continue or not.

I didn't want to go back to recapping the whole OF run and I probably wouldn't have remembered a lot of the things that happened during the whole run anyway since I've had a lot of brain fog recently.

Now I am going to ask myself a bunch of questions and answer them for you ( or me)
Am I happy with the OF run? - Yes and no. I expected to get rid of my social anxiety and only now I can see that OF couldn't have done it even with a year long run so that is a little disappointing but I guess it was an important realization.

If I could turn back time would I choose the same path? - That's a tough one, I don't think there would be any better alternatives for me to run so yeah, I would run OF again.

What sub will you run next? - I am currently keeping my eyes on the EHPRA 2.0 which will hopefully be out by the new year, fingers crossed.

So that's it, thought I'd write my feedback a little different this time. Any questions? Feel free to ask!

PS: I'm actually on day 191, but hopefully by the time you are done with reading this you'll be too tired to hold grudge

Perhaps stress relief for social anxiety - but that would be included in EHPRA 2.0, and that sounds like it'd have everything you need to nip that in the bud.

Thank you for sharing your insights! Very interesting about the social anxiety. Do you think OGSF 5G would help you more in that area? Why do you choose EHPRA 2.0 over OGSF, because of happiness and positivity?

EHPRA 2.0 will contain the new script of OGSF.

Yes, OGSF is in it. But OGSF is more focused. Maybe that is helpful, maybe not. Maybe releasing fear and adding positivity is great and the brain will learn faster in that happy state. I am also drawn between the three (EHPRA 2.0, OF, OGSF). I think only focusing on fear alone and leaving out the guilt and shame brings less benefit. So it's more between OGSF and EHPRA 2.0... RTBoss, what do you think?

Is stress relief really a part of EHPRA 2.0? Never read Shannon writing about it, just users wishing for it.

Glad to share my experience!
I have a few reasons for the EHPRA run, it heals what still needs healing, there's programming for self esteem, self validation, positivity, immunity to negativity, gratitude and appreciation. Well it just has a lot of the stuff that could help me with where I am right now.

Since I have already run OF for so long, the extra focus on OGSF is that important to me right now, I feel like I can start with the positive input.

As for choosing between OF, OGSF and EHPRA, it really comes down to what you lack the most right now that would make for a more balanced and full life. I'd say you can't really go wrong with any of the choices and if you commit yourself to one of the subs for a set time, just using the sub should bring up other weak links that need assessing later on. That's what OF did for me, it brought up a lot of the weak links in my life like self esteem, confidence, negative thinking.

I thought I saw a list of bullet points somewhere, but it fails me where that list is...At the end of it said, "Mental, emotional, and physical stress relief."

I am drawn to EHPRA 2.0 and OGSF 5G, as well - but the impatient person in me also wants more confidence, stress relief, happiness and joy, and gratitude and appreciation! Hahaha, can't win 'em all just yet, it seems. The list on EHPRA 2.0 seems to come close, however.

I just want to laugh easy, again. I want to experience, in general, more good days than bad days. I came close while I was really practicing Transurfing, but old habits came back fast. I've let the "Weight of the World," slowly start crushing me over the years, and I just feel like something keeps my blue sky gray.

I just recently quoted it in Shannon's journal, but he seems to have missed it. Not sure if this list is up to date.

(04-27-2015, 08:12 PM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]

1. Compassion for oneself.
   
2. Overcoming Fear
   
3. Immunity to guilt, shame and fear
   
4. Prevent resistance from sabotaging the use of the program
   
5. Self appreciation
   
6. Let go of and stop needing/seeking the approval of and permission of others for your healing.
   
7. Give yourself the approval and permission to heal that you need.
   
8. Give yourself approval and permission to live the life that allows you to heal, stay healthy, and makes you genuinely happy and healthy.
   
9. Overcome the victim mentality.
   
10. Deservedness for healing and being healthy.
    
11. Kill self pity.
    
12. Kill self sabotage
    
13. Physical, mental and emotional relaxation to benefit healing.
    
14. Positive thinking, positive attitude.
    
15. Neutralize internal negativity and make yourself immune to internal and external negativity.
    
16. Allow for happiness and healing through genuine gratitude and appreciation.
    
17. Make yourself worthy of your own self love, and allow you to be loving towards yourself.
    
18. Fill yourself with and radiate loving and healing energy, which seeks to heal mind and emotions.
    
19. Like yourself, and if necessary, make yourself deserving of self liking and adjust yourself to be someone you can like and love.
    
20. Generate and maintain hope.
    
21. Generate and allow all necessary self confidence for healing.
    
22. Transform anger into a positive that assists in healing not only the self, but the causes for the anger.
    
23. Self esteem enhancement
    
24. Let go of and heal whatever holds you back from healing and move on into a state of healing and health.
    
25. Mental, physical and emotional stress relief.
    

(12-22-2015, 09:20 AM)FrostedFake Wrote: [ -> ]Did you tap at all during OF? How often and during what part of the program?

Didn't do any tapping. Just meditation from time to time

(12-22-2015, 03:33 PM)FrostedFake Wrote: [ -> ]

(12-22-2015, 10:24 AM)Natious Wrote: [ -> ]

(12-22-2015, 09:20 AM)FrostedFake Wrote: [ -> ]Did you tap at all during OF? How often and during what part of the program?

Didn't do any tapping. Just meditation from time to time

Thanks for the answer. I think Geodude's amazing results were either because of tapping or his personal issues that needed dealt with.

Could be, I try not to compare my results too much to others'. We come from different pasts with different beliefs so it's hard to pinpoint what makes the biggest difference, could be something as small as tapping or something as complex as a whole belief system. I think it's rather the latter.

I wanted to add something that I've noticed recently. I feel like there is less resistance to taking action when I need to do something (not in all cases though), it's like this long over analysing process that usually goes with it is in some cases non-existent.
An example of this: Normally when I need to make a call I would get this deep anxious feeling in the gut and I would think of everything that could go wrong and what people might think of me which then makes the anxiety even worse. For the last few times I had no hesitation and just picked up the phone, made the call and was done with it. I would even call again if something was unclear.

Went out today and said Hi to everyone passing by, it was weirder saying that to younger people, they also seemed to barely respond, either with a very silent whispering hi or just an awkward look trying too hard to make eye contact, I wonder if it's because I felt weird saying hi or that young people just tend to respond that way. Some older guy was extremely happy after I greeted him, made my day and probably his as well!
Social anxiety seems to finally be lessening a little. This will officially be my last day on OF. I'll be taking a break for a few days and then hit EHPRA. Hopefully it won't be another half a year until EHPRA 2.0 is released since I really want to run it already.

EDIT: I'm now on my 2nd week of freeletics and people say that it's already showing. Some days are pretty intense, but I'll get used to it.
Another EDIT: Almost forgot to mention. People just get the duck out of my way when I walk. THIS IS SO NEW! I always had to move left and right to get out of other peoples way, now it's the other way around. I don't completely feel like it inside though, but externally it's quite interesting to see. Even people my own make way.

I don't know what I'd do without exercise. Leaving behind PMO and booze on OF has made me feel incredibly weak on some days. It gets me seriously angry when I feel so helpless that I want to go and wreak havoc uncontrollably. Exercising gives a bad day a positive glow, it is a must have when facing tough times. I was even thinking about starting up a 6day a week morning jog schedule that I read about in the Boron Letters ( a MUST READ for everyone committed to improving their life and the way to look at things), but to keep things less complicated I'll just stick to freeletics for now.

Fear still plays a big part in my life and I know a lot of people would recommend that I keep running OF/OF5g, however with the ups and lows being so extreme I want some positive programming to go while the destruction of fear keeps playing in the background. That's where EHPRA 2.0 comes in, keep removing the fear while incorporating positive stuff. I have a feeling that 2016 will be smoother because of that and at least until I give AM another run.