Day 36 Review
So I have been noticing an urge to do what I need to do without making excuses anymore and I've been more productive than I have ever been. Also I can feel my anger once again instead of pushing it down immediately to the depths of my unconscious so I can't feel it I can now feel it running through my body. A few things anger me though not as much as they used to. I also have less weird fettishes when I relapse on porn and don't have all this clutter running through my mind when I watch it. I am also getting my will back that I used to have a few years ago as a teen. I'm being respected more and more and people are starting to see my potential. I can't wait till OF comes out to get rid of the fears I have.
Day 44
I have been having less and Less dreams but I have had one where I was being pulled down into the dark underworld but was able to fly out before the gate closed behind me. Other than me having less and less twisted fettishes and getting more respect and not having pent up anger in me when triggered nothing eventful has happened in my outer world, just revelations and realizations have been happening in my inner world. I masturbated without porn yesterday and the stimulation during masturbation was great but the orgasm wasn't that great. My goal is to reach 100 days of no fap then get to a full year. I do believe some fears are still holding me back like my fears of standing up for myself and my fear of my parents, especially my father. I hope that I will get rid of this in my OF run. I think I'm ready to be pushed to get rid and face my fears because that is the main thing holding me back in my life. Life would be so much better without them.
(11-28-2015, 09:23 AM)Hercules Wrote: [ -> ]my fear of my parents, especially my father.
When your father is Zeus, king of the gods, of course there's going to be some fear of him
I'm taking a 2 week rest from Subs cuz it seems like my ear doesn't like the constant exposure. I don't use the Ultrasonic track so it must be me listening to it too long for extended amounts of time that's causing this. I listen to it at a low volume so I don't know what's the problem. When I listened to other Subs from other people this never happened. Even when I listened at a higher volume.
Hercules I think you're slowing if not stopping your progress,you have to use patience and one vendor, I'm like a lot of you, years of sub experience
and after years you sick with what work,real easy choice!
Yeah my Ears are better now but I still feel fear in my gut. I had an unreasonable fear of loosing my hearing but I knew that wasn't gonna happen. Either way I still feel fear through my body sometimes without reason. I guess that is resistance for you. It will go away soon.
So I relapsed after 19 days of no fap and busted twice today. So I took 2 omega 3 supplements and am going to drink a lot of water to reset the counter. I know next time what activities to stay away from when on no-fap. I was also depressed so that's what factored into my relapse.
Another thing is I am stuck between choosing EPHRA 2.0 and OF. If EPHRA 2.0 has OF why should I get OF. I may have to use it for longer than expected to get the same results that I get with OF. Because EPHRA works slow in my opinion and it takes a while for all of that emotional pain to be released.