Time to do my best with this round.
For now, the targets are :
* No more seeking approval
* Empowering my self
* Wisdom of the alpha
* To be more and more masculine ( the big one)
* Overcome my guilt,shame, and fear.
* No more victim mentality
* Zen attitude
* Neediness destruction
* Strong and powerful presence.
...
Overcoming Fear 1.1 helped in many corners. I can't tell you what. Sometimes, i speak whatever in my mind to anyone i met directly. Sometimes, i'm not afraid to make a decision in a team at my work place (2 persons).
Also, being with OF 1.1 (31 days), i did overcome any nervous for speaking in front of all crew in every breafing time. And i always spoke hardly to all crew (specially for younger), like "i didn't care of what would he do, i'm not doing something wrong here!".... Brothers, the last one is the sense of this subliminal. It's like your chest is made from the iron. And you aready to face anything with your fearless and brave.
I think, by what i've noticed from OF 1.1 is a good news to continue AM6 program for the second time.
See You Again (OST. FF7)
Nice results from OF, and for only a month too.
Good luck with AM6.
How many hours of OF did you per day?
Good luck with your journey, brother. Fasten your seat belt.
(10-31-2015, 07:29 PM)dissonance Wrote: [ -> ]How many hours of OF did you per day?
Did it with 8 hours per day was the most. Sometimes, 9 hours.
Oke... It's so defferent between the first dan the second run of AM6.
On the first experience :
It took about 2 weeks for me having vivid dreams.
On the second.
It needed only 1 day to get my first vivid dream. Talking about victim mentality, hmmm... I don't know what to say. But, i think it worked much better then the first. Yahh, you know what?, the sense is something difficult to explain. But all i can say, I feel much better now.
Like on the first, stage 1 did make me so calmmmm... Relax, like " thank you god, i'm so proud for all you've given to me."
The vivid dreams on the first and second run were so dramatic. It brought me to be "melow" or "smooth". Now, i can decrease the frequency of smailing to anyone at anytime.
And guys, seriously, i love my life.
...
Thursday, November 5th 2015,...
It's hard for me to tell anyone what i want. And today, i got angry to my mother, father, and maybe anything around me. No, i mean it's mmmm depression.
"why me again? Again and again..!"
I didn't get my money as schoolarship at the bank, the "mama" didn't service me as well ( hahaha , this is not a sex,men. This is a shop/market). Oh ..s***, stop it. I should tell her to give an excelent service.
Sunday, November 15th ,2015
I talked to many persons today. It was easy. And I enjoyed it. They responded me well. Some of them were laughing. We were talking about selling, about anything in our mind. ..... I got my self better today. Many people gave me good responses.
it's like almost every time I get argue with anybody.
Some of them wanted to hit me. But, I was afraid to accept for fighting. So denied it, 'cause I never do that. So, I kept calm but being upset.
A girl ? took my "active selling". Arghh I was angry, I told her smoothly.
I brought a snake yesterday, I call a person in my work. But he rejected me with bad expression. Ok, FINE!
Yesterday was very depressed ? moment.
Right on the stage 3 which less then a week to be done.
Sometimes I think that it's easy to have a good communication with any people. But doesn't. I'm still convergent.
When I talked to them, all in my mind was what should I do to be liked, to be funny. I know that's so wrong mindset. BADDD!!!! I'm trying to have more experiences with any people whether it's man or woman.
Also, too much smiles. Talking smiling talking smiling. What the hell???
I have been ignored for so long time in any group of people. So, when they give a respond , it's something like a "new arrival". That makes me confused. Do I have to say thanks/smiling like a beta male? I always smile.
I'm not saying that AM6 doesn't work. Just, I think to become more alpha, I have to get more experiences by joining more socialize world.
(11-16-2015, 03:05 PM)Noah Chandra Wrote: [ -> ]it's like almost every time I get argue with anybody.
Some of them wanted to hit me. But, I was afraid to accept for fighting. So denied it, 'cause I never do that. So, I kept calm but being upset.
A girl ? took my "active selling". Arghh I was angry, I told her smoothly.
I brought a snake yesterday, I call a person in my work. But he rejected me with bad expression. Ok, FINE!
Yesterday was very depressed ? moment.
yeah many poeple wanted to fight me too on am but i guess my appearance helped me (185cm/ 102kg), and the fact that i am an expierenced fighter and always juiced up lol
otherwise i gues i would be beaten many times on am
so i think its not always fair here if guys say that they are small and have a harder time to be alpha and everyone just keeps repeating its only about your confidence, when the reality is it helps to have strong/big body you know you can rely on
(02-06-2016, 03:34 AM)yeah! Wrote: [ -> ]Ok yes I see 102
i poeple often assume this when someone is bulked
plus my photos are always with big model like women 175-186 cm lol
On AM 2011 and 5.0 people tried to fight me, usually when I was feeling the most masculine. I loved that state as woman reacted awesomely but then guys wanted to fight me. Though when I did security I always attracted heaps of fights before that anyway.
AM6 not so much, a litlte bit of weirdness at the start but then it disappeared completely. Now doing security the last 6 months occasionally i've had very little of it, I have had one or two guys kind of having a go but where I would have got into a fight 5 years ago I didn't with any of them now as i'm way calmer and don't react too aggressively like I used to.
Your 10cm taller than me, not a huge amount, i'm weighing about 87kg at the moment. The extra 12kg is a fair bit especially if it's muscle.
(02-06-2016, 03:49 AM)Benjamin Wrote: [ -> ]On AM 2011 and 5.0 people tried to fight me, usually when I was feeling the most masculine. I loved that state as woman reacted awesomely but then guys wanted to fight me. Though when I did security I always attracted heaps of fights before that anyway.
AM6 not so much, a litlte bit of weirdness at the start but then it disappeared completely. Now doing security the last 6 months occasionally i've had very little of it, I have had one or two guys kind of having a go but where I would have got into a fight 5 years ago I didn't with any of them now as i'm way calmer and don't react too aggressively like I used to.
yeah am5 was heavy on that i wonder why because they were jealous of the masculinity there is no other explaination to it
that makes me want to do am5 again but i think this time it will end really bad for some of them lol