Alright let's do this.
I've been away from this board for more than a year. Time did fly fast because I never thought it was that long ago since I visited. During that time, I was active on other forums like reddit specifically the subreddit No Fap. It was back almost two years ago that I realize that I am addicted to porn and masturbating. It came as a realization because back then I was having erectile dysfunction and not being able to perform sexually with my girlfriend. As a result, our relationship came to an end and I was devastated. I am really invested in the relationship and I was depressed when it is turning into a downward spiral. Good thing Shannon, was there and giving me advice. His every reply to my post was a big hope for me to keep going. So in a way that's one of the reasons why I am back to this board since I want to give back. I hope this journal will help others and I will try my best to help you guys as well on your own journey.
Moving on as I said I was away from this board but I was still listening to subliminals. I was listening to Emotional Pain Relief and Healing Aid. I wasn't writing any journal so I cannot speak for any changes that were made. Changes were made though regarding what I want to do with my life and with my career path. Early this year I decided to finally use some of my money to buy a camera. It was always my dream to take photography seriously and not just take photos with a digital camera or with my phone. I took some photography courses years ago but I wasn't serious because I don't have a camera. I'm either just using my phone or using my sister's digital camera. Well from that point on, I was hooked with photography. Any chance that I get to take photos I take it. Either there's an event at work that needs a photographer or me taking a vacation, I will always have my camera with me. As such, I was able to do some photography jobs recently. First was I was able to shoot a proposal then a wedding and the most recent was corporate headshots. I know I'm still finding a niche for myself in the photography world but the bottom line is that I enjoy shooting. I still need to learn a lot and I look at it in a great way because learning new stuff about photography get's me hyped. I do want to turn this into a career but as of now, I'm fine with it as a hobby or as a semi-professional.
I've been listening to the Alpha Male subs ever since the Version 3.0 but back then I wasn't able to listen to it properly either with wrong speakers or not to the fullest extent. I was only able to listen to it properly when Alpha Male 5.0 came out. It was a hell of a ride but totally worth it. I can say there were changes but in some way it is not what I expected it to be. Now, I can say I still have a lot of issues that the past versions of Alpha Male weren't able to fix. Most of it though, is my fault. This time is different because I will use it as explained in the manual. I will also read the books that Shannon said in the manual. I have read them before but not when I was in the Alpha Male subliminal listening stages. I remember as Shannon has posted here before, it is best that I use the subliminal on its own and not only listen to it as the only subliminal but also not do other affirmations with it. Before, I've been doing affirmations based on the Magnetic Mindset program by Cory Skyy while listening to the Alpha Male subliminal set. With these adjustment, I can make a conclusion whether the Alpha Male set really works for me or not.
I mentioned earlier that there are changes that need to be made. I will post them here as my next post.
Let's get this journey started. I'm already around Day 5 of the Stage 1 of the Alpha Male Subliminal Set.
Cheers and Thanks for reading my journal. JG out.
I have PIED, so I know what it's like. It can be hard (lol, pun
) to be positive and confident with such a handicap.
I've disciplined myself to go noporn for 130 days, as of today! Things are WAY better erection wise. I still have some work to do with the libido though to be fair. I am finishing SM3 in 6 days, and I believe my next program will be OED to fix the last bit of lingering PIED. Afterwards, I may do Increase Your Sex Drive 4G to get the libido kicking if it hasn't come back fully by then.
I never knew how disastrous porn is to the mind, until I watched one video from Dr. Nelson about porn. It all clicked to me, watching that video changed my life, I IMMEDIATELY stopped all porn use. The libido, the ED, anxiety and nervousness around girls, approach anxiety itself, self esteem, performance anxiety, everything, all from long term porn use. I truly believe that as a result of these revelations, it should be illegal. It's very damaging.
If I couldn't have done that alone, I would've used Shannon's Overcome Pornography Addiction 4G program. Which I was going to recommend to you to use but I see you just started AM6.
I wish you an incredible run. AM6 is a special kind of journey. Commit to it, stay focused and don't slack off on hours and days, and it will reward you forever.
JG reporting in.
I'm currently on Day 7 or 8 of the Alpha Male Set 6.0. My listening routine is spotless as I am getting more than 12 hours per day. I listen to it when I sleep (roughly 6-8 hours) and whenever I am at work (roughly 4-6 hours). Just to report here, I stated that the last subliminal that I used was EPRHA 5g. I looked at my player and I have listened to it more than 4000+ times so that roughly translates to 2000+ hours. If I translate that to around 10 hours of listening per day I was able to do a full 6 months listening period. As I said I didn't notice any remarkable difference in my emotions during those times. I was more than likely to have been affected by my No Fap streaks as compared to the subs. But moving on, I still have full trust on the Alpha Male Set 6.0 to help me with my current problems.
(10-19-2015, 03:50 PM)CatMan Wrote: [ -> ]I have PIED, so I know what it's like. It can be hard (lol, pun ) to be positive and confident with such a handicap.
I've disciplined myself to go noporn for 130 days, as of today! Things are WAY better erection wise. I still have some work to do with the libido though to be fair. I am finishing SM3 in 6 days, and I believe my next program will be OED to fix the last bit of lingering PIED. Afterwards, I may do Increase Your Sex Drive 4G to get the libido kicking if it hasn't come back fully by then.
I never knew how disastrous porn is to the mind, until I watched one video from Dr. Nelson about porn. It all clicked to me, watching that video changed my life, I IMMEDIATELY stopped all porn use. The libido, the ED, anxiety and nervousness around girls, approach anxiety itself, self esteem, performance anxiety, everything, all from long term porn use. I truly believe that as a result of these revelations, it should be illegal. It's very damaging.
If I couldn't have done that alone, I would've used Shannon's Overcome Pornography Addiction 4G program. Which I was going to recommend to you to use but I see you just started AM6.
I wish you an incredible run. AM6 is a special kind of journey. Commit to it, stay focused and don't slack off on hours and days, and it will reward you forever.
I've been trying to cut off porn and the masturbation that comes with it for more than 2 years now. Chances are I did make some progress but I have failed numerous times. Now is the only time and probably the longest that I have stayed away from porn. I've been active in the No Fap subreddit of reddit and have fought multiple No Fap Wars. (FYI No Fap Wars are like a game wherein if you relapse you die from the war). I would want to try Shannon's Overcome Pornography Addiction 4G program but I have preferred the Alpha Male Set 6.0 instead.
Yes man, I do have PIED and I can't really tell if I'm cured of it or not. I'm currently in a long dry spell. Well that's one of my problem. I don't know if I'm scared now to enter a relationship due to having PIED. What's worse with that is the last time I've had sex, I instantly came when I already had an erection. Thanks for the reply man. I hope to converse with you here more in the future.
Moving on, my confidence is not up to par as what I expected it to be. This is not a good indication especially from someone who have been under Alpha Male 3.0 and Alpha Male 5.0 sets. I can say that I am far from the person being described in the Alpha Male product page on the subliminal-shop. I do want to change for the better and this is the reason why I am listening to Alpha Male Set 6.0.
My main problem is that I am still easily affected by other people's opinion of myself. I want to be my own man and not become a pussy to other people. One of the things that I loved about this newest iteration of AM was it already has "An improved on circle of friends manifestation sequence, so that the friends you manifest are genuine, long term friends who will help you for the long haul, instead of stabbing you in the back." I can say that today I have friends who will stand by me in times of trouble because I am a person who is like that. As a guy who has a strong "Warrior" side (KWML archetype) I value loyalty and integrity above all else. I want to be a man who can easily say No to things I don't want and Yes to things I want. I don't want to be easily affected by others especially my friends. I believe I already have a good set of values and morals that I live by. I want others to see that I am true to them and not easily swayed even if those who are trying to sway me are my close friends. I myself would accept my friends if they have different opinions. I wish they are that to me as well.
Recently, I've become easy to anger. It has became worse this year because I started to drive everyday. I probably have been to numerous road altercations in this past year alone. I told this experience back in the No Fap subreddit and they told me it is an effect of being in No Fap. I am experiencing a range of emotions. It is possible that by fapping and watching porn in a regular basis I have become more submissive. I lack the energy to confront others. But now especially me having no significant other I, in some way, would like some drama in my life. It's kind of the drama that I get when I am in a relationship. I know it isn't healthy so I put my trust on Alpha Male Set 6.0 to help me with it.
I will discuss more on my issues in my next post.
Cheers and Thanks for reading my journal. JG out.
JG reporting in
*On Alpha Male 6.0 sub for 1 1/2 months
*Currently on Stage 2
I haven't seen any substantial changes as far as I am concerned. This, I believe, is still expected since I'm still on the early stages.
I've reviewed the AM 6.0 FAQ and it says that Stage 1 clears out the negative programming and BS. Sad to say it I've had this for years and even though I am already doing self development for 5 or so years now, the negativity within in me is still strong. I've done multiple listenings of Remove Negativity Within it didn't have any pronounce effects on me.
Quote:Stage 2 is not as polar usually, but some people still don’t see enough to notice a difference. Most people begin noticing this stage and this is where most people start showing the self confidence, desire to stand up and do one’s own thing, and the irritation with the BS of others really starts manifesting here. Stage 2 is designed to get you up to speed and ready for Stage 3.
One thing that subliminals especially the Alpha Male series have made an impact on me is in regards to dreams. I usually dream when I listen to them at night. I didn't record any of them recently so I cannot remember all of them.
Yes I get irritated easily by someone else's BS. Lately I'm starting to think that I should I accept my faults and stand up to others when others don't accept me because of them. I sincerely hope that this stays and it is one of the first signs that AM 6.0 is working for me.
I will share here what happened recently. My friends surprised me on my birthday. They kind of kidnapped me and took me to an adult club. The way an adult club works here is you pay for the time you spend with a girl. You can even spend a "private time" with her in a room. The girl that I chose was kind of shy at first but I was able to make a connection and know some things about her. I got a bit drunk during that time but since it is my birthday my friends insisted that we should spend a "private time". I declined by saying I'm already drunk but yeah we still end up being together alone. Well to make it short, I wasn't able to do anything it was not solely because I'm drunk but yeah I have a bad case of Porn Induced Erectile Dysfunction. It pains me that I still have it even though I'm currently doing No Porn to cure this. It's sad to say that watching porn is mainly the thing that gets me hard. I don't watch porn anymore but the road to recovery is hard.
Not being able to perform in bed, is a bad thing for my self-confidence. I'm trying to wonder how I can deal with this. If I apply the things I learned in photography to help me with this issue, I will go out meet women and have sex with them so I could get used to having sex and feel comfortable doing them. It's the same as going out and taking lots and lots of photos in order to become a good photographer. But the catch is, I'm currently experiencing a long dry spell and it's been years since I tried dating women. I will say here frankly that I am afraid of rejection and being turned down. I think of what others will say when they see me approaching women at a coffee shop or just smiling at them. I don't have that confidence anymore.
I'll continue posting these issues of mine on the next post and that is regarding my body image.
Cheers and Thanks for reading my journal. JG out.
JG reporting in.
*Still currently on Stage 2 of AM 6.0 around past the halfway point of 32 days
I lost my two months streak of not intentionally watching porn. From that moment on I have watched porn around 4 times now and around 2 hours per session. I'm close to binging yet again and it this has got to stop. My only respite is to try and stay on the path and do cold showers if possible. This shows that I am still very much addicted to porn.
I think the root cause of my porn addiction is my loneliness. Well when I have a girlfriend I still am very much watching porn. Part of it is because I am still not oriented regarding the harmful effects of porn addiction. When we broke up I already am doing No Fap but still watching porn. It is only this year that I very much made it a habit to stop watching porn. I have a feeling that I am still a long way to go in overcoming this addiction and this gives me depression. Depression because I feel it is a long time before I can go on and progress. Even though I am still fairly young, I have a feeling that I getting left behind. It's a long story but yeah I will tell more about this in the future.
In summary I'm disappointed and down because of watching porn yet again. I hope I can bounce back soon.
JG out.
JG reporting in.
*Still currently on Stage 2 of AM 6.0 around past the halfway point of 32 days
I'm still bouncing back from the porn binging that I'm currently facing right now. I know that my subconscious is fighting back against this addiction. I just got to survive each day and not think and put pressure myself on making long streaks.
Last night my dreams were good and somehow I feel it is an effect of the AM 6.0. It's vivid like the dreams I experienced back in AM 5.0. As far as I can remember it was a sequence of three dreams. In no order in particular, I had a dream that I was talking to my father and I'm comparing my beard to his. My father can grow a thick full beard while I am still on the path to grow one. In the dream I am growing more and I feel proud as such. This makes me think that I am becoming a man as the process of AM 6.0 passes by. The next one is me getting to meet a cute girl. In this dream she seems so excited to meet me and told me she likes me because I'm a badass in a sort of cool way. I always envision myself to be this guy. The last one, well sadly I can't remember it anymore but earlier this morning I can still remember it. I should really write this dreams down upon waking up. Hopefully I can remember it soon so I can write it also here.
Cheers and Thanks for reading my journal. JG out.
JG reporting in.
*Almost at the end of my Stage 2 of AM 6.0
I had a good dream again last night. I was in I believe the best nightclub in my place and I was there with my high school friends. I remember we are waiting for a friend there because he is a bout to get married. So we are there wearing suits. Along the way I meet different kinds of people ranging from a current friend to a colleague at work. I hear their stories one by one. Then when I'm ordering a drink, which is a Pabst Blue Ribbon, I noticed that I don't have any money with me. The waiter told me he'll be back with my order. After some time my order appeared and no one was there to bill me. A long time passed until someone appeared to get my payment and I just gave him a credit card. Sadly he didn't return until I woke up.
I couldn't make any conclusions from this dream. As I said before AM subs makes my dream more vivid.
I'm on way way to Stage 3. I'm still listening to the sub 8+ hours a day and have started reading the How to Become an Alpha Male book by John Alexander.
Cheers and Thanks for reading my journal. JG out.
JG reporting in.
*A week in Stage 3 AM 6.0
My nights are still filled with vivid dreams. I wasn't able to remember any of them since I tend to forget them when the day passed by.
I cam back from a vacation from my grandparents house. It's a good thing since I was able to take my mind off from porn. I was also able to take photos and practice my landscape photography. I'm still reading the How to Become an Alpha Male book by John Alexander. Hopefully I can finish it before I start work again on the first week of January.
Hey man, just wanted to give you a warning about cold showers to cool off your lust. Cold showers will only delay the need, and it can make it a bit worse when it comes back. Sometimes even about 15 mins later depending on what's what. If they're working for you then ignore me and keep on keeping on! If you're experiencing issues with them not working consistently you might want to find a few other options you can work with also.
Stay strong bro!
I found cold showers were okay for getting rid of my fapping urge, but I went and bought an icepack and used it on my junk...now THAT worked well. Thankfully, after my seven hours of "OMFG FAP NOW!!!!!" slightly physically painful, hellish addiction urge...I've NEVER had such a thing happen again. I think that experience, and resisting it, BROKE the addiction for me.
I'm still running both subs for a few more weeks before evaluating whether it's safe or not to move on to another program and consider both addictions gone.
Damn I started cold showers again (not anything to do with fapping, but for willpower) but I did them a few days and forgot until now. Thanks for the reminder.
JG reporting in!
*On Stage 3 of AM 6.0
(01-01-2016, 07:21 AM)Nox Wrote: [ -> ]Hey man, just wanted to give you a warning about cold showers to cool off your lust. Cold showers will only delay the need, and it can make it a bit worse when it comes back. Sometimes even about 15 mins later depending on what's what. If they're working for you then ignore me and keep on keeping on! If you're experiencing issues with them not working consistently you might want to find a few other options you can work with also.
Stay strong bro!
Thanks for the warning. Actually, I've experience that multiple times already. I took a cold shower before going to bed then after around 15 mins. and more I am starting to have the urge to watch porn. I've been thinking that it is my fault that instead of sleeping immediately, I'm using my smartphone or tablet to browse the net or something. I think you have a point there. I feel I should post this and inform the folks back at No Fap and ask about their opinion about this. Do you know No Fap War? I'm part of it and as a tool we use cold showers to counter the urges to fap.
(01-01-2016, 07:36 AM)CatMan Wrote: [ -> ]I found cold showers were okay for getting rid of my fapping urge, but I went and bought an icepack and used it on my junk...now THAT worked well. Thankfully, after my seven hours of "OMFG FAP NOW!!!!!" slightly physically painful, hellish addiction urge...I've NEVER had such a thing happen again. I think that experience, and resisting it, BROKE the addiction for me.
I'm still running both subs for a few more weeks before evaluating whether it's safe or not to move on to another program and consider both addictions gone.
I remember back during my late teens I use to masturbate with an ice pack on my balls to get that different sensation. Thinking about it just made me a bit horny. So I probably won't try your suggestion. I do believe it may work on others as what you have said.
(01-01-2016, 04:01 PM)Benjamin Wrote: [ -> ]Damn I started cold showers again (not anything to do with fapping, but for willpower) but I did them a few days and forgot until now. Thanks for the reminder.
I actually began to enjoy cold showers. Well it's easy where I live because it is hot and warm in here. It get's a bit mild today from December to February but the rest of the year is quite hot.
For an update, I'm about more than a week of No Fap and around three weeks of No Porn. Strong urges are consistent and I'm doing my best to stay on the path.
Thanks for the messages and Stay strong as well bros.
Happy New Year!
JG out.
yes this cold shower thing realy strengthens the body and mind
Well I meant putting the icepack directly ON your penis and your stomach where all that heat is coming from. It works wonders and REALLY quells the urge. Thankfully, it was only that bad ONCE, and once I successfully resisted, now I'm way beyond my personal record earlier in the program of 28 days of nofap. Now, currently, I'm at day 36 of nofap, almost 37!
I can't wait for my PIED to heal up. It's been a LONG time since I've had an actual, normal erection. That will be an amazing experience to finally have again.