I was originally going to break my journal format to mention this, but felt it would be better served as a question to the forum.
30 minutes or so ago I suddenly developed a feeling in my chest kind of like a mix of heartburn, a panic attack, butterflies (like when I'm in love or something), and dread, and it hasn't gone away yet. I know it's not heartburn or acid reflux because I pretty much cured my acid reflux in 2010 or 2011 by eating only Braeburn apples for two of my three meals a day for almost 30 days straight. I'm fairly sure it's not a panic attack, as those come on super strong and this one is at a dull roar, though I wouldn't be surprised at all if I am indeed experiencing some variation of panic attack. I'm on day 30 of ASC, have been listening for 12 hours a day to the ultrasonic track exclusively, and was on about hour 7 or so for today when it started.
I mention it because I recall some AM and/or ASC journals here (maybe Benjamin's?) point out a similar feeling, and others going through the same program realizing they've felt it too. I'm worried about it; would someone here please help with at least a plausible explanation other than simply "resistance?" I know resistance is involved, assuming it's the same feeling the others experienced, but I want to know not the how (there's resistance) but the why (WHY is there resistance); why does this resistance feel like dread, what am I dreading exactly, and why am I dreading it like this now instead of before or later?
It's frequently compared to peeling an onion. Layer by layer, the program goes deeper and deeper into your subconscious and works on what it finds there before going deeper still. At some layers there can be subconscious memories that trigger some unexpected, but very consciously obvious responses, without the conscious mind being aware of what is causing it.
This response feels like dread because some part of you is dreading something it associates with being absolutely self confident. What is it? I can't tell you that. Why are you dreading it now? Because only now has the program gotten to that level of your subconscious awareness and started working on it.
(08-24-2015, 07:06 PM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]This response feels like dread because some part of you is dreading something it associates with being absolutely self confident. What is it? I can't tell you that. Why are you dreading it now? Because only now has the program gotten to that level of your subconscious awareness and started working on it.
Thank you for your feedback, Shannon; I can definitely agree with subconscious memories being triggered when layers are peeled back, like when fat cells are processed and if there's any trace of certain substances flashbacks are triggered. I just don't yet know which particular set of memories the program has reached.
I hope I'm not consciously and intentionally preventing the programming from taking effect; I admit that I haven't been "absolutely self confident" in the past, but in fairness I didn't and still don't technically know what it takes to have absolute self confidence or be such. I sincerely hope that if some part of me is dreading becoming something particular that's associated with being absolute self confident that somehow the knowledge of what that association is will eventually bubble up to the conscious level so that I may document it.
Sometimes I feel bliss and warmth into my chest while I`m listening to AM6 ultrasonic track.
This was more a sinking feeling, and not much warmth if any is currently associated with it. Edited the first post to mention I've only been listening to the ultrasonic track.
It's gone on for about an hour and a half and hasn't gone away yet. I wish it was hunger pangs, then at least I could rationalize eating right now to resolve it.
Update: The feeling started happening again and I think I've pinpointed the general timeframe of the sub to be between 14 and 20 minutes into the track, though I haven't gotten more specific. There's also a bit between 7 and 9 minutes (definitely around 8:15-8:20, likely also surrounding it on both sides), but not nearly as intense.
Shannon, are you at liberty to say what these sections of ASC are meant to work on? I feel it would help towards understanding what I seem to associate with being absolutely self confident and why my subconscious seems to be dreading it.
Have you tried mindfulness meditation on it? Meaning: lie down, close your eyes, accept its there and (now that its there) just start being curious about it. Is it a warm feeling, cold, like a pressure, is there a texture, are there other feelings like that in your body, ..., how does it actually feel when you let yourself sink in it like a bathtub and relax, is it really that bad or could you live with it? Maybe smile a little - does the feeling prevent that?
I just had a pretty nasty flu where all the cavities in my head were basically filled with stuff, I felt like my head was pressed in a vice and I had some fever. Didn't feel sleepy, so I did the above and found that, yeah, its just a feeling. Weirdly it felt kinda good in a way to sink into it. I do cold showers that way, too.
Read in many journals about this chest feeling.
Still wondering, when will I get it. Don't know what it is . Bit would like to experience it once
(08-26-2015, 03:56 PM)apollolux Wrote: [ -> ]Update: The feeling started happening again and I think I've pinpointed the general timeframe of the sub to be between 14 and 20 minutes into the track, though I haven't gotten more specific. There's also a bit between 7 and 9 minutes (definitely around 8:15-8:20, likely also surrounding it on both sides), but not nearly as intense.
Shannon, are you at liberty to say what these sections of ASC are meant to work on? I feel it would help towards understanding what I seem to associate with being absolutely self confident and why my subconscious seems to be dreading it.
Because of how the script works for a 5G, you're getting several repetitions of the entire script for that program during those periods of time, which means that it cannot be any particular point in the script unless it happens to be an incidental overlap of specific concepts, which would not be something I could know. Much more likely is that it takes that long for that response to be triggered.
I find that when I have an extremely powerful response to the 6G prototype (like right now, just finished an experiment on myself) I feel it in my chest.
(08-27-2015, 12:51 PM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]Because of how the script works for a 5G, you're getting several repetitions of the entire script for that program during those periods of time, which means that it cannot be any particular point in the script unless it happens to be an incidental overlap of specific concepts, which would not be something I could know. Much more likely is that it takes that long for that response to be triggered.
I find that when I have an extremely powerful response to the 6G prototype (like right now, just finished an experiment on myself) I feel it in my chest.
That's interesting to know, that it's most likely a delayed reaction; that certainly explains why it only happens after a few hours (six or more or so) in a listening session rather than at or near the very beginning, that it takes about that long for the subconscious to get the message. When I was running EPRHA my most intense reactions (particularly the times when I broke down in tears) happened about 6 hours or so into the 12-hour sessions rather than at the beginnings; it doesn't help that, at the time, I told my aunt that I was listening to motivational audio and she thought that the sub causing emotional breakdowns was harmful to me and I should stop listening.
(08-27-2015, 09:03 AM)LionKing Wrote: [ -> ]Have you tried mindfulness meditation on it? Meaning: lie down, close your eyes, accept its there and (now that its there) just start being curious about it. Is it a warm feeling, cold, like a pressure, is there a texture, are there other feelings like that in your body, ..., how does it actually feel when you let yourself sink in it like a bathtub and relax, is it really that bad or could you live with it? Maybe smile a little - does the feeling prevent that?
Haven't tried mindfulness meditation yet, but my therapist gave me a CD "The Mindful Way Through Depression" to try. I'll give it a try over the weekend if I feel the sensation.
Before analyzing it more closely, it feels very similar to the feeling I had right before I found out my ex-girlfriend was trying to get me expelled from high school. That time it was so intense I actually stayed home from school and went to the ER to get it checked out, and the next day I was called into the dean's office and they informed me she made a particularly serious claim against me. From start to finish they prevented me from defending myself properly and my mother forced me to accept a suspension instead of allowing me to fight back with legal action.
(08-27-2015, 06:57 PM)apollolux Wrote: [ -> ]Before analyzing it more closely, it feels very similar to the feeling I had right before I found out my ex-girlfriend was trying to get me expelled from high school.
Hey, just to note that now you actually only felt the
feeling for a little while and then went into an old story/memory
about the feeling. The feeling itself, in the moment, will be closer to words like "warm", "soft", "there", a visual picture where it is, etc.
Not saying there's no value in going back (with clearing, sedona), but its just not what I meant.
(08-27-2015, 10:15 PM)LionKing Wrote: [ -> ] (08-27-2015, 06:57 PM)apollolux Wrote: [ -> ]Before analyzing it more closely, it feels very similar to the feeling I had right before I found out my ex-girlfriend was trying to get me expelled from high school.
Hey, just to note that now you actually only felt the feeling for a little while and then went into an old story/memory about the feeling. The feeling itself, in the moment, will be closer to words like "warm", "soft", "there", a visual picture where it is, etc.
Not saying there's no value in going back (with clearing, sedona), but its just not what I meant.
I don't understand what you mean, sorry.
If you're asking what this feeling felt like now (instead of the original one) it felt sinking like my heart missed a beat or something, then like my heart racing back to "catch up" the missed beats.
All the time, man. All the time. I have this feeling in my chest too, it's like, yeah, like dread or falling in love. I have a love and hate relationship with this feeling. I can go on to say that this is where mood shifts begin for me. What works best for me is writing. I take a notebook and write anything and everything without thinking or trying to give it a meaning. Something always pops up, sooner or later. For instance, during the process when I am picking up the speed, I might end up with screaming in my mind, "I am a freaking loser!", but then the next moment the thought is replaced by something positive. Actually I am feeling it right now while typing this. Amazing, huh.