There is no reason to be anxious when you go out. You are going to go eat with your buds, what is there to be nervous about?
I have a cool exercise that will help you out loads. Go to a very popular place, that is full of many people throughout the day (preferably the mall on a saturday). Find a comfortable chair. Relax yourself mentally and physically. And just look at people for an hour or so. I did this a couple times, took my iPod so the time would pass faster. Looking people in their eyes is as easy as breathing. The key is relaxation. A soft confident gaze is always more powerful than forced, intense eye contact. Seduction community people are famous for the latter. I can spot them a mile away now.
(03-16-2011, 07:43 PM)Jeff Wrote: [ -> ]There is no reason to be anxious when you go out. You are going to go eat with your buds, what is there to be nervous about?
I have a cool exercise that will help you out loads. Go to a very popular place, that is full of many people throughout the day (preferably the mall on a saturday). Find a comfortable chair. Relax yourself mentally and physically. And just look at people for an hour or so. I did this a couple times, took my iPod so the time would pass faster. Looking people in their eyes is as easy as breathing. The key is relaxation. A soft confident gaze is always more powerful than forced, intense eye contact. Seduction community people are famous for the latter. I can spot them a mile away now.
Jeff, see the majority of my life, I have been a loner. I really had no self confidence/self-esteem, so I got used to that. Then when I started learning to deal with my issues, working on myself, I would get anxious. I would just get nervous when I go out even by myself. I was and still somewhat in my shell, which I am trying to break out of. That is why I bought the AM2011 to help me get rid of the problems that I have been working on for several years now but haven't really gotten anywhere in some areas.
I can really relate. I moved to a different state the start of freshman year. I did not fit in at all. I still kind of don't but I could careless. One girl even said, "I was the cool guy that hardly ever talks." The best part is I am totally okay with that. I am completely different from school which is odd.
I need to work on getting out by myself too. The part I am looking forward to is, Socializing is just a game. I can talk to absolutely anybody, but making the intent of approaching a stranger in my mind throws up red flags saying, "whoa, whoa, buddy I don't think so."
Lol, the only reason I bought alpha was so I could start woman magnet, which I changed my mind to sex magnet. The more I read and learned about Alpha, it became apparent that I needed it desperately. +3 years of depression took a major toll on me. But I am seeing the greener grass on the other side, and I must say the prize was worth the effort
(03-16-2011, 07:43 PM)Jeff Wrote: [ -> ]There is no reason to be anxious when you go out. You are going to go eat with your buds, what is there to be nervous about?
I have a cool exercise that will help you out loads. Go to a very popular place, that is full of many people throughout the day (preferably the mall on a saturday). Find a comfortable chair. Relax yourself mentally and physically. And just look at people for an hour or so. I did this a couple times, took my iPod so the time would pass faster. Looking people in their eyes is as easy as breathing. The key is relaxation. A soft confident gaze is always more powerful than forced, intense eye contact. Seduction community people are famous for the latter. I can spot them a mile away now.
Now go back and do this without your ipod.
(03-17-2011, 08:24 AM)Jeff Wrote: [ -> ]I can really relate. I moved to a different state the start of freshman year. I did not fit in at all. I still kind of don't but I could careless. One girl even said, "I was the cool guy that hardly ever talks." The best part is I am totally okay with that. I am completely different from school which is odd.
I need to work on getting out by myself too. The part I am looking forward to is, Socializing is just a game. I can talk to absolutely anybody, but making the intent of approaching a stranger in my mind throws up red flags saying, "whoa, whoa, buddy I don't think so."
Lol, the only reason I bought alpha was so I could start woman magnet, which I changed my mind to sex magnet. The more I read and learned about Alpha, it became apparent that I needed it desperately. +3 years of depression took a major toll on me. But I am seeing the greener grass on the other side, and I must say the prize was worth the effort
Yep Jeff, I was basically a wallflower just sitting on the sidelines not having the courage to do anything. I have had a hard time trying to start conversations with people, like I had no idea what to say to start a conversation let alone how to keep it going. I wanted to share that I went to get some shoes at the mall. You know at the malls they have the small shops in the middle of the mall where they sell things? Well, usually when they try to sell me something, I have a hard time saying no.
I will say no, but I don't be firm about it. Today when they tried to sell me something, I told them no without somewhat feeling guilty of saying no. So, I can tell already this program is working pretty quickly and being very effective at helping me with the issues that I have been trying to deal with for a long time now.
I have, and my eye contact is at an all time high. I use to be the guy that would look down or away anytime a person would look at me, whether it be guy or girl. For guys a small head nod and a what's up works perfectly. For girls a casual smile will do the trick. Approach anxiety cripples me at the moment. I gotta work on that. The nice thing about Alpha, it makes you realize your strengths and weakness, through epiphanies or other peoples words/actions.
Maybe make that a goal. Go to the mall with the intention saying and or yelling NO! at the people, "Hey would you like to try this bracelet that does absolutely nothing, but costs $50?" They tried to sell me a bracelet that supposedly increases balance and strength, but Chemistry, Physics, and doing some research proved it was a complete scam. I went to get a new coat. I told the guy off in a calm tone, and I got a lame excuse on how it should work in return. I decided it was more fit to just keep walking.
I have no doubt you will tackle this soon.
If you don't know how to keep a convo.. just learn to ask open ended questions. Once you master the eye contact part people be making the effort to keep the conversation going with you.
also you will learn to not take anything too personally so if a conversation dulls out after you are done talking you most likely made a good point and people have nothing else to say except take what you say and acknowledge it. I dull out alot of conversations but I don't worry about it anymore. Even if they feel like oh Ryan you ruined the vibe.. it doesn't matter to me. sometimes that happens to us all. There's a whole lot more to it than that and I am not the most verbal or well written person when explaining myself. You have to be face to face with me sometimes to really understand what I'm saying. But what you should take from my post is to not worry about it as much as you can. If something like this happens.. let it go as best u can and focus on yourself. Ask yourself does it really matter? or do I really need this? or just ask yourself what's the bigger picture? you'll be wondering for hours and forget what just happened.
Today is day six of stage 1 of the AM2011, and so far I am loving the results! There is a girl at work I have shown my interest in, I have flirted with her, and she does it back as well.
However, today there was something different, when I saw her and our eyes locked, there seemed to be a deeper eye contact. I am not sure how to explain it, but she did smile a lot and the first time she saw me today. She waved at me. She has waved to me a few times before, and now it seems she is doing it more often. So far, women in general seem to say hi first, start conversations with me. It seems like people are responding differently to me, it is hard to explain it but things seemed to be different in some way.
Furthermore, with this girl when I first saw her, I wanted to get with her. You know how guys get when they see an attractive woman, and they are somewhat obsessed or are trying to get her because they want her. Well, that is how I was for a while until I got this program. Since I have been listening to it, when I see her, yes I still find her attractive, but I am not in the mode of, I need to have her. It seems like I am now just allowing things to happen instead of trying everything to make it happen and by trying to her. To me, it is a weird feeling knowing that I want to get to know her better, but at the same time I am not trying to spend all my time around her like I was doing a while back.
nice spiritman, congrats on the journey. you are one step closer becoming a change man.
Today is day 11 of the program, and I had an off day. I felt some what needy and clingy, desperate wanting something to happen with this girl at work. Every time I saw her. I just wanted to do something but couldn't do it. I found myself wanting to look at her every moment that I got a chance to, knowing that I shouldn't do it. I really don't like feeling like this because it just makes me feel like I am being a wuss in some way. However, I know that it is the program which is removing the old programing and adding the new an improved stuff to make me the man whom I want to become.
There is good news.
#1 You are aware of what you are doing
#2 This will all blow over soon enough
I have caught myself just staring at women for extended periods of time. I joked that, "I am becoming an alpha male now, I will do whatever I damn well please." lol.
(03-25-2011, 09:43 AM)Jeff Wrote: [ -> ]There is good news.
#1 You are aware of what you are doing
#2 This will all blow over soon enough
I have caught myself just staring at women for extended periods of time. I joked that, "I am becoming an alpha male now, I will do whatever I damn well please." lol.
Well today was another one of those days, I took a really hard look at my life and saw that I wasn't happy with basically anything. The only thing that is fine is my health. My financial, career, love and personal life I realize that there is nothing there that makes me happy, and I want to change it some how. So now I am going to figure out how I am going to change it to something that makes my life better and happier.
I have noticed quite a big difference, since I have been using this program. I am able to stay calmer during situations that I normally would have let my emotions get me. I have said what is on my mind without caring what other people think, and I don't really seem to care that much anymore what other people think about me. I sort of feel like I feel more comfortable with who I am and what I stand for. I have nine days left on stage 1, and then I will be starting stage 2.
I look forward to seeing what changes take place during the next step.
Well, I wanted to give an update. There is a girl at work that I have been flirting with for a while and chatting up. I was talking to some other employees who work with her. The conversation somehow changed to where it started to involve me and her. The employees told me that she asked them how old I was because she thought I was 19.
They told her no, I wasn't 19. I was close to 30, and I was told she said "No way." I found it interesting she was trying to find out information about me. It could mean nothing but I look at it as, if a woman is not interested in you, they won't talk about you. Your name won't come up in conversations, and she won't be trying to find out how old you are.
I am currently on stage 2 of AM 2011. I am looking forward to seeing what take place or how things go.