(06-29-2015, 07:38 PM)aswase Wrote: [ -> ]Videos would be super dope Ben. I have a few pictures that ill post of my transformation over the past 3 cycles in time, but for now.
Day 3, Stage 3: Loss in strength in gym (IT AINT THE BIG GUNS FOR NOTHING), increased irritability, lower ability to focus, increased empathy, and quieter speaking voice while listening, louder while not; same as last time.
Although perception internally, and externally have changed quite a bit, my main issue is just that I have not taken action in any fields whatsoever so to speak. Ive read more, and done all the background stuff, but havnt really just exposed myself to life. Due to my upbringing, i've lived a comfortable, lonely life. Forcing oneself to become uncomfortable is a bitch when theres so many temptations to just sleep all day, or gorge on tv, and videogames, or online info (Which never sticks anyways).
In my opinion, this sub has changed a lot, to the point where I feel that I can now truly make myself uncomfortable on my own to grow in an environment which would suggest otherwise.
This run through, my only focus is taking action, and replacing my environment to fit the me I want to be.
Ciao
I'm in the same boat as you man. Subs have given me some great results socially and with women, but when it comes to personal responsibility and being a self-made man, I'm still struggling.
Shannon; I definitely agree that you did not say people should do the max.
You're the God of this way of life, and when people look to you for information, they might tend to take it as "Shannon said this is the max. I want to be max best. I must Listen to Shannon.", cause quite frankly I did. I was apart of the 16 hours a day crew when I did my first run, and most of my second run. It is skewed logic to think in that manner, but a lot of people do tend to think that way especially when looking for an answer to their problems, instead of using your inventions as support/ mental mindset training.
My lens is through health, nutrition, and a little bit of philosophy instead of direct knowledge through your profession of course, so I do only know so much in comparison. My ideas are more generalizations as to mitigate dangerous habits that Ive seen people fall into while under the influence of stress, depression, and anxiety in multiple aspects of life.
For example, in psychology, it is known that slowly introducing an influencing factor into life can cause one to believe it was always there so to speak. Beginners may fall into the idea that more is always better, and might find themselves rejecting your programming; possibly wasting both their time, as well as causing them to lose belief in the programming that you put so much time and effort into that obviously works extremely well.
Id be interested to hear your opinions on the mind and how it works Shannon: Your perspective on the mind must be very unique in comparison to most due to everything you've learned up till now.
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So far, after cutting back drastically, Ive noticed more self control, and have been using the subs more like how classic affirmations are, with a little more; 3-4 cycles from before I go to bed, into my sleep time, as well as 1-2 cycles in the morning, and another when I have free time, and am not working on something too mentally taxing, leaving me around only 9 hours. This fits my lifestyle in a much better manner, and has recently allowed me to pursue that which I want most effectively.
Ciao
Stage 4, Ive reached a point of realization. Ive known that Ive been lost for the past few months on what the hell to do with my life. I know what I want, but my plan is still.. fuzzy. I constantly feel that I am creating my own barriers, but when I finally sit down, and think, nothing seems to pop up.
I purchased AM6 a couple of hours ago, succumbing to my wants for a quick fix, but stopped myself from downloading the purchase onto my phone.
AM6 will be my continuation after I finish AM5 first.
Im curious as to if after all of this, I should be doing the refresh of both in cycles when I am finished, or whether I should just continue to do AM6 again and again.
I plan on using subs for the rest of my life; its just, how to lay it out, I'm not so sure.
Im not sure what my personality type really is; INFJ/INFP is what I received after I had taken my test. Introverted: Yes. Everything else; I am not sure. I know which answer feeds to which type, and its hard for me to feel what I truly am in all aspects 100%, but I accept what I got is what it is.
Its funny because after all of this, I just feel hopeless. I don't really care about anything anymore except getting better.
Before this sub, I wanted to be the social butterfly, and have people loving me, and being the best, and socially accepted as the man, people to be jealous of me. The cool guy. Someone whom is respectable, but not alone. I like being alone. Sure. But to me, its not an option really; thats what hurts. Im changing that.
I lost my last girlfriend because of all my negative habits. It ended with nothing, and her falling for a successful guy whom seems to have things worked out, as the person whom I am working towards being.. Im competing against the me I want to be till i'm better than him.
I hate the feelings of worthlessness being brought about by this sub, but i'm happy that it gives me more of a drive to being better. I don't cry anymore. Even if I try. It just hurts now really.
Video games. Tv. My Phone. Porn. Drugs. Most of it Alone, with people on the same damn boat bringing me to now..
It wasn't that bad I guess.. but its depressing to see how I stagnated, and how successful people are nowadays in comparison. Cant get something for nothing I suppose.
Truthfully, I think i've reached my manifestation of an alpha already, but my final resistances are keeping me from breaking through the final wall. Once past this wall, I feel that everything will flow freely, and my stagnation will forever be gone.
I guess I never felt alpha because I wasn't seeing the visible changes. Its in the way of thinking that really matters though.
I went in seeking women, money, and validation, coolness, all the intangibles..
But I came out without a care for any of them really in the end. A want, sure. But no longer a need.
Ive also gained a better sense of feeling towards others when I see them. Im not so autistic anymore when it comes to understanding the underlying context of peoples conversations and such.
Im still not a great, extraverted social butterfly conversationalist, but Im happy that i've managed to develop this far.
This whole AM Journey thing has been a pain in the ass, but I wouldnt change it for everything.
I know nothing. I need nothing. I care about nothing. Fuck. I feel like a damn psychopath. Or a lazy something. But not lazy either.. ehhh. Undefined.
The less I care about the things that I don't have, or the things I want that are intangible.. the easier it comes.
Time to stop thinking I guess.
TLDR;
Im Completely fucking lost, but think Im also found.
Thank you Shannon.
(08-02-2015, 11:23 PM)aswase Wrote: [ -> ]The less I care about the things that I don't have, or the things I want that are intangible.. the easier it comes.
The most important sentence of your post. Stop worrying about things and the universe will take care of it.
a week-ish, into starting stage 4, ive also added OAA since it has OGSF in it to an extent. I ran it between my First, and second run, and noticed improved results. This time, im doing it right.
Noticed a change in my perspective on my appearance. My whole energy has changed from extremely masculine, to something... a little less. Some balance;
When I look in the mirror, my eyes seem more compassionate and soft instead of piercing like they used to be.. I like it. Course.
Love making the ladies squeal when I return eye contact, and they look to the ground like wut.
Anyways. Not much to add. Loving the development all around.
Ill add more detail later.
Ciao
After watching Chaplain the Movie, and lurking the forum, Ive reached a consensus that the ultrasonic sub is more for destroying/creating new beliefs, where as the wave/stream subs are for support in taking action.
Ive done AM3 three times; the first almost exclusively as the stream and wave; the second, and third run as purely ultrasonic.
In the first run, it released all my demons, and made me a zombie (Awesome for me now)
the second, I noticed near nothing (Destruction of bad beliefs/negative self talk now noticed)
and in this third... now that I have reached my fourth stage have only realized the mistake I've made in not utilizing all that was given to me.
Although when questioned about defining anything involving what I want, dream, etc. Its clearer, but my action, compared to my first run through, has been... negligible.
I of course blame myself for receding from life to study, and hermit-xing, but still.
Inbetween my first AM, and second run as well, I had also used the DaoS program, and developed exponentially, but with major resistance. Both experiences littered with dreams near daily.
lately. These dreams have been lacking, but I used to view these dreams as me going a step closer towards my goals. Cleaning up Garbage.
Although ultrasonics are powerful, they are like arrows, where as wave/stream are like hammers.
One pierces through in small chunks deeply, the other pounds the shit out of you to do what you are told. <Lol. I can imagine Shannon hitting my head in a dream or something. "GET A FUCKING LIFE YA FREELOADER! I CANT DO EVERYTHING ON MY OWN FOR YA! READ THE DAMN INSTRUCTIONS. IM OUT.">
Im extremely thankful, and plan on mixing the two until I finish, as well as throughout my entire A6 experience which I plan on going through three times. Ultrasonics during the day, and masked at night (now made comfortable and possible to sleep-phones!) thinking of averaging around 16 once again until college and work starts to bog me down; looking towards 12 hours then maybe. Get some heavy dreams again.
Still looking for opinions on time, and rest for setting of programming, as well as this "bloom effect".
Ciao
10AM I wake up in my house, and my first ex texts me that she wants to hangout. She is really cute, intelligent, feminine; I have no idea how managed to go out with her originally. Now that I've defined the kind of woman in my life.. When she texted me, I felt different. Its been years, and of course I had the oneitis bad for her back then. She seems kind of keen on meeting up, but she's hot and cold.. Im taking it that she probably still thinks i'm still the same guy I was in middle school, which is understandable, but am really curious as to how shes been rather than just fucking her brains out. Loss of that "Fake Libido" Ive seen popping up in the forums lately.
I basically forced myself to stay outside all day, and am going to stay out there until 10oclock tonight as well.
Woke up, worked out, ate, watched some tv (FUCK), and then skated my driveway and ramp for the first time in about a year. I went to my bus, and texted an old friend offering a position as my workout buddy at my gym for free so long as he punches the my stomach till he eventually has to drop cinderblocks on me.
Still waiting for a reply.
I also cold approached this chick on the bus for the first time in months too. She looked 18 (She was 26). I felt good after, and started writing more in my book about what people should read when transitioning; psych books, forum posts, and overall improvement books. Im still working on the subliminals portion, but I really wanna save that for the end. Maybe Shannon will be interested in sponsoring my book for the advertising/reccomendations too. Im not sure 100% yet.
So long as im not inside, i know that ill grow.
Think im just gonna keep this staying outside the house thing going forever. Unless its for food, sleeping, or showering, then their is no point in being inside.
Im writing a book on the process of quitting my technology/drug/introverted lifestyle, and think that a lot of people will benefit from it since its such a pain to go through. Ive quit cigarettes, opiates, and other drugs like nothing, but this. I did this to myself. I admit it. But wishing wont do anything. Ive been hardcore since I was four, and this all is officially ending now. I refuse mediocrity.
I recently thought that I should change over to AM6... again.. but i know thats just me resisting truly at heart. Its hard to see growth, but the removal of things that hold one back, is exponential. I remember hearing somewhere that unless something is 300% better than what it already is, then it never noticed, but if the quality of something drops, even in the slightest, it is noticed.
Im responsible for the big steps, and Shannon is the glue that binds it all together.
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I spent today walking around without a single second of running inner dialogue, but realize that the moment I reach my fingers to somewhere, words will flow out like air. Hopefully this will come back in good time. This however, is attributed definitely to technology.. as well as drugs.
I haven't told anyone this story, because its really stupid, but It might help give clarity to why I am the way I am.
Around two years back, I was on an island where marijuana is legal, and was a weekend warrior at the time.
I worked for a farmer on this land extensively for money, but eventually he started paying me in weed.
After racking up around 7oz of high quality death kush, I tried to kill myself.. as a joke. Nobody had ever killed themselves from weed.. So purified the herb into hash, and tossed it in a mason jar filled about halfway up with vodka, and chugged it all down till there was nothing left.
I passed out, and woke up the next day feeling completely normal, but the next day, for two months, I believed i had schizophrenia, and eventually it devolved to aspergers. I think that night, i had stopped breathing multiple times. Either way, I probably have brain damage from the 0 to 100% binge that lasted around one week. Im guessing most of it is to my amygdala due to the elevation of schizoid like behavior, but i guess ill never know. (Im going to start taking lithium ortonate tomorrow to help with whatever I did.)
I did it because I thought it'd helped me fit in.. id catch up to all my cool friends that smoked weed and did drugs, but.. now that i'm more mature, i've come to realize that none of those things matter not even warm vagina.
Funny story too;
I was on the bus this morning, and a girl approached to sit next to me on the bus. She looked completely normal, and although she looked attractive, and I was ready to play around and say "Youll have to fight me for this seat" Something stopped me. Not anxiety.. but something else. possibly the sub..
Another girl approached to sit near her friend after I had abruptly stopped, and they were talking about robbing a store and how awesome it was to be fucked up on xanax bars.
My boner immediately flew out the window.
The end.
I think the moral of the story is that its fine to be disgusted with ones past initially, but that an alphamale, in the end, understands, and does not judge. They just dis-associate, and move on.
Im gonna go outside now.
Ciao
Video coming in hot. Just need to remember my password.
To those whom are reading this, I have a question. Preferably answered by those whom have read the black dragons 2.0, or models. In the book it states that happiness is easily attained, but only attained by being good to others. What if those others are disrespectful to you? I would consider that niceness, but i'm curious as to what others views on are good/kind, versus nice.
For example, my ex and her bf were stranded at the beach, no money, no car, and the last bus had left. I offered to grab them, have them stay at my house, and pay for their bus fee home. The bf stated that unless I drove them all the way to the hotel they were staying at, that they were not interested and to leave them alone. I took that as jealousy, and decided that how he felt was reasonable and that leaving them to sleep on the beach was best.
I felt bad, but at the same time, it was what the boyfriend wanted. If I picked them up to drive them to their hotel, that would've been a waste of my time, and leaving them alone seemed like the best.
Im trying to do my best to bring goodness to the world, but I cant stand being a pushover.
I guess I answered my own question. Just needed to write my thoughts out.
Uploading video in a little.
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Also, recently noticed is daydreaming. Especially when i'm reading, and relate to something in a past experience, my new "Daydream version" will pop in and play how I should have done it.
Also, Im still not really experiencing many dreams as of late unless I do a WBTB, which gives me around an hour or so of dreams consistently.
(08-13-2015, 11:49 AM)aswase Wrote: [ -> ]To those whom are reading this, I have a question. Preferibally awnsered by those whom have read the black dragons 2.0, or models. In the book it states that happiness is easily attained, but only attained by being good to others. What if those others are disrespectful to you? I would consider that niceness, but im curious as to what others views on are good/kind, versus nice.
For example, my ex and her bf were stranded at the beach, no money, no car, and the last bus had left. I offered to grab them, have them stay at my house, and pay for their bus fee home. The bf stated that unless I drove them all the way to the hotel they were staying at, that they were not interested and to leave them alone. I took that as jealousy, and decided that how he felt was reasonable and that leaving them to sleep on the beach was best.
I felt bad, but at the same time, it was what the boyfriend wanted. If I picked them up to drive them to their hotel, that wouldve been a waste of my time, and leaving them alone seemed like the best.
Im trying to do my best to bring goodness to the world, but I cant stand being a pushover.
I guess I awnsered my own question. Just needed to write my thoughts out.
Uploading video in a little.
Its on vulnerability, masculinity, and a little foresight.
Oh yeah. I also messaged my ex on her phone after the call and said I could just pick her up if her boyfriends gonna just be all salty about it xD
Personally from what i've read here I wouldn't bother doing that for either of them, sounds like they just want to take advantage of you. Why are you going to the trouble, especially if he acts like that?
I haven't read the books that you mentioned in your post but, if happiness is attained by being good to others, and in that light, if someone does good to others to be happy. Isn't then kindness limited to a tool to feel better? Isn't it better to do good from the point of indifference where it doesn't matter it will make you happy or not? Isn't it better to seek the source of happiness within you, where you are good and kind when your gut says you need to and not when you know you shouldn't?
Its something I battle with too and I am sure many do. It all boils down to this for me.
"The bf stated that unless I drove them all the way to the hotel they were staying at (the beach?)"
Lets suppose, you are walking down a busy street and you see this beggar, and you feel generous and hand him a $100 bill. You feel good that you helped somebody and you will hope that it will help improve his situation. Now, the beggar looks up at you and says, "Hey dude, what? Either you hand me $500 or run along. I don't want your $100." What would you do? You will not give in to his demands, right? Right.
It is the same thing here. There is only a limit to which you could have helped them, that is, on your own terms.
(08-13-2015, 04:05 PM)Benjamin Wrote: [ -> ]Personally from what i've read here I wouldn't bother doing that for either of them, sounds like they just want to take advantage of you. Why are you going to the trouble, especially if he acts like that?
As soon as he acted that way, i shut him out. I just felt bad, because my ex didnt have a say, and told me he was not the jealous type (Which he obviously is).
Its kind of like what diamiteo said, but me giving 100$ to someone, and another person walking up, and saying no to me, rejecting the obviously needed 100$ for another person.
Idc. They slept on the beach, and I dont plan on talking to them ever again :p
Quote:Idc. They slept on the beach, and I dont plan on talking to them ever again :p
Good move.
Btw, your profile pict. Is that you?