(05-29-2015, 06:51 PM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]In my experience, women think that way because it seems pretty obvious that a weak man who wants sex will not do something that will jeopardize his chances of getting it, but a man who has options will call her out on her shit and walk if need be. I was told just tonight by one of my ex's that she left her first fiance because she did not respect him, and she did not respect him because he never called her out on her shit, but I always did, and she "respected the hell out of me for that".
She and I separated because I left her for her shit, and she still, years later, wants to marry me. And yes, I still call her out when she's acting badly. But she has become a much higher value woman because I and others called her out and expected better of her.
Women respect men who don't put up with crap, and like they misunderstand asshole vs alpha, they can also become confused with rude vs no bs.
Hey Shannon, in regards to this "call people out" principle, how does that work with "How To Win Friends and Influence People" (I assume you've read the book)? Seems to me the principles are a hallmark of beta behavior to a tee.
One of the very principles is "never argue, even when you know the other person is wrong".
I have not read that book yet. But I can tell you that never arguing, even if the other person is wrong, is not just beta, it is potentially very manipulative. You're trying to manipulate them to get what you want, which in that case is an opportunity to influence them into doing what you want, now or in the future.
Calling someone out is saying, "Hey, I don't care if you like me, but these are the boundaries, and you WILL have to deal with these boundaries." It's forthright and honest. It will not always get you love or friends, but it will usually get you what you need, and frequently, respect. Even from adversaries.
(05-29-2015, 07:27 PM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]I have not read that book yet. But I can tell you that never arguing, even if the other person is wrong, is not just beta, it is potentially very manipulative. You're trying to manipulate them to get what you want, which in that case is an opportunity to influence them into doing what you want, now or in the future.
Calling someone out is saying, "Hey, I don't care if you like me, but these are the boundaries, and you WILL have to deal with these boundaries." It's forthright and honest. It will not always get you love or friends, but it will usually get you what you need, and frequently, respect. Even from adversaries.
Yes I'm starting to sense this. Especially in sales. My own "problem" is that my default behavior is very edgy and few (if any) can stand me. I even open myself up to danger with my disrespect or careless behavior/attitudes, so I'm trying to repair that area of myself, without becoming full beta.
Recently, while I've benefited from some of the principles in that book, the trade off has been respect and presence.
Any suggestions on how to walk the line between being respectful of others and having self-respect? It seems that most of my life has been a battle between the two.