(04-19-2015, 02:43 PM)brightike Wrote: [ -> ]Haha thanks Sarge. I'm not looking for escalation tips. I'm asking what the typical "I'm ok with girls, but that's it" kind of guy experiences with women. I have been a first to third base guy my entire life. I want a guide on how to maintain friendships/relationships (see longterm connection). Not in a controlling manipulative way. I found out literally 30 min ago that I don't ever touch women unless I'm seducing them. When I meet them or when we're in public there is no contact as friends. Blasted my mind as I think about the friendships that have fallen apart due to me being cold or disconnected:S
I don't get it, what are you trying to figure out then?
GLL also has tips on what he calls "nice guy game" which is typical for most inexperienced.
If you're just looking for "when it's ok to touch" well, the answer is "when you want to, and she's comfortable with it"
Day 27 - 11 hrs
As I'm less than a week from finishing stage two I keep thinking that if I had done just one more run of AM I would be trending toward more positive results. Mainly because I'm noticing a lot of things that have been driving people away. With that said, my friends that are close have been getting closer as I'm willing to admit to myself that they are important in my life and thus am letting them know me better.
If masks and misdirection when people were getting to know you was a degree I would have a PHD. Not functioning with my disguises is kind of disturbing.. Who am I kidding if I didn't have so much work in OGSF then I would be scared $#!+less. I'm currently reading Models in trying to understand everything. This has led to something that I have come to believe about others and myself. Experts in theory and useless in practical.. know every single body language cue, all the approaches or at least the reactions that people (most commonly women) have to most situations. Meanwhile.. get a woman alone and try to connect with her in a non-sexual way and they are/ I am about as useless as a leg-less man at an ass kicking contest. Everything is about escalation, domination, and superficial connection. Long enough to get in, get off and, get out. Shallow garbage I say. Everyone that I have known that is a natural is a connector with EVERYONE. They have many guy/girl friends AND they have lots of sex. This is all because they are trusted, consistent and stable. Back to the sub.
It has made me more emotional, intuitive, sympathetic, and of course it has given me the ability to communicate more with my eyes which I totally love! My desire to have ran AM more comes from the insecurities that WM has brought up. A lot of self-worth issues. Thoughts about my lack of meaningful friendships, and deep connection with people. Kinda a little apprehensive about stage 3 as that is apparently the "emotional" Stage. Bahaha I'm going to sob all next month. Whatever.. Just gotta stay the course
Good question Sarge, I'm looking putting authenticity into my interactions with people. I believe that with authenticity the rest of my interactions will fall in line. Do I want to know women, yes. Have sex, that's a given, but I crave connection with other humans. I'm independent to a fault. My sister who is eight years younger than me recognized the problem in her and started changing it a few years ago. She didn't have subs though lol and she thinks Subliminals are scary and unreliable. I'm getting to the point that I am at my "game limit". I think game works short term in a fake it until you make it kind of way. But I have seen on this site and a few others that most guys that game are up and down all the time. This makes me think that their mind it's rebelling against who they are pretending to be.
(04-16-2015, 07:27 PM)brightike Wrote: [ -> ]Day 24 - 11 hrs/
We went for dessert hit it off and she told me she just turned 21. I don't care in the slightest, so we continue talking and hanging out. It was windy as all get outta here and we couldn't walk which I think is a great date event. I can walk for a long time and if she whines it tells me something about her. So we drove...
Talked quite a bit and I ended up escalating and kissing her which was pretty electric. Before we kissed though she asked me how old I was I told her and she said OH!... That's old.. I gotta think about this. We parted ways in a good place, but yesterday we hung out again, but the vibe was COMPLETELY different. I asked if we should talk about what she was thinking about the last couple of days she said maybe a little later. Not two mins later she loudly exclaims "Isn't it weird that I'm only 21" I didn't think it was and she tried to change my perspective. It just ended up being not good at all. Basically I went to see if the electricity was still there when we kissed and she had the most disgusted look on her face that it swept my legs out from under me. I actually had to sit down. To go from electric to disgust is a far jump in three days. Especially when I didn't do anything wrong.
Needless to say she wants to be friends because "I'm cool, and super hot". I think that is a crock of I don't have the wherewithall to be straight up with someone. I deleted her messages and number from my phone (usual method for getting rid of someone in my life)
On to the pluses lol. I feel a lot better than I did this morning and think this will be a huge growth point for me or at least the first jump of many. Looking forward to handling rejection better, but I know that slowly I'm getting TONS better than I was. The coworker that I have had for ten months (he's done EPRHA/OED) says that he has really noticed the difference in me since I came there. I find that I am not chasing girls as much, but I believe with a weaker AM base I wouldn't be able to push through with WM. I read that a lot of people look at dropping WM 2-3 stage.. I can see why. Not for the feint of heart, but oh SO worth it if it's 40% what Shannon promised... And isn't it alway. Enjoy yr day folks!
I been running Sm today is my last day of stage 1 and I too have been feeling more sensitive , emotional etc...
I am more genuine though you just have too keep fighting , I been feeling like quitting , just plow through.
Now to you and that 21 year old , you failed to lead and to demonstrate that your a high value male. So when you see her if she attends yoga still be kind to her and tell her listen I can't be friends with you because I think your beautiful and I see you more then a friend so do me a favor and avoid me. What happened was she was testing you , with time your going to pass tests with flying colors. If she brings up the age issue again assuming you bump into her tell her it's weird because she's making it weird , your a man she's a woman , she's of age you are of age I don't see anything wrong with that except G/S/F on her part.
I wouldn't tell her to avoid you...that can show her you're affected by rejection. Just carry on and let the program make you more attractive and as time goes on, try again. With girls that ignored me before subs, they started taking notice and suddenly showing signs of interest and attraction after a period of time I was on them. They think they misjudged you and give you another shot. So don't sweat it, treat it like it doesn't matter, keep the hours up, and over time, try again when the program has done more to change you in a high status, attractive man. You're going through a mountain of changes, try to keep that in mind and don't get frustrated or depressed etc.
DON'T show her you're hurt or frustrated at all by the rejection. That will ruin it for you with her and others she tells. Truly alpha men don't get hurt like that.
I understand what you're both saying and will distill, make my own and let you know the outcome.
My opinion is that by doing that, she disqualified herself, and your best bet is to disconnect and allow her to go her own way. Of course that is just an opinion, but perhaps one worth at least being aware of in your way forward. If a woman does something like that to me, it just tells me she is not mature or open minded enough to think for herself. My conclusion? She's not on my level yet, and I don't have time or interest to wait, so... see ya. People are much more than just a number. I have met 14 year olds who I would have sworn were in their 20's, and 36 year olds I would have sworn were six. Physical age doesn't act as a reliable determinant for personality, and by focusing so much on that she's being shallow, basically worrying more about "they" will think than her own interest and happiness. That happens when people are not very wise, or smart.
(04-16-2015, 07:27 PM)brightike Wrote: [ -> ]Day 24 - 11 hrs/ day
Although I may be decent with women sometimes it just falls down. For those that don't know.. I'm 33, but I am often told that I look 25. So that opens a wider range of ages up for me I guess haha. I do yoga 3 times a week and am pretty disciplined with it. I have taken transit for a couple years and about six months ago I met a girl on the bus... Ran into her again three months ago and, lo and behold she showed up in my yoga studio a month and a half ago. I'm normally very courteous and avoid developing relationships in places I consistently go. But it was not to be. She introduced herself to me three weeks ago. I got her number two weeks ago and we went out on sunday. I purposely go on low risk, something I'm going to do with or without her, dates. We went for dessert hit it off and she told me she just turned 21. I don't care in the slightest, so we continue talking and hanging out. It was windy as all get outta here and we couldn't walk which I think is a great date event. I can walk for a long time and if she whines it tells me something about her. So we drove...
Talked quite a bit and I ended up escalating and kissing her which was pretty electric. Before we kissed though she asked me how old I was I told her and she said OH!... That's old.. I gotta think about this. We parted ways in a good place, but yesterday we hung out again, but the vibe was COMPLETELY different. I asked if we should talk about what she was thinking about the last couple of days she said maybe a little later. Not two mins later she loudly exclaims "Isn't it weird that I'm only 21" I didn't think it was and she tried to change my perspective. It just ended up being not good at all. Basically I went to see if the electricity was still there when we kissed and she had the most disgusted look on her face that it swept my legs out from under me. I actually had to sit down. To go from electric to disgust is a far jump in three days. Especially when I didn't do anything wrong.
Needless to say she wants to be friends because "I'm cool, and super hot". I think that is a crock of I don't have the wherewithall to be straight up with someone. I deleted her messages and number from my phone (usual method for getting rid of someone in my life)
On to the pluses lol. I feel a lot better than I did this morning and think this will be a huge growth point for me or at least the first jump of many. Looking forward to handling rejection better, but I know that slowly I'm getting TONS better than I was. The coworker that I have had for ten months (he's done EPRHA/OED) says that he has really noticed the difference in me since I came there. I find that I am not chasing girls as much, but I believe with a weaker AM base I wouldn't be able to push through with WM. I read that a lot of people look at dropping WM 2-3 stage.. I can see why. Not for the feint of heart, but oh SO worth it if it's 40% what Shannon promised... And isn't it alway. Enjoy yr day folks!
She most likely didn't care that you're 33 but just wanted to see if you care. Girls like to poke around for insecurities and see how you respond. If you really could truly 100% tell that she really did truly care that you're 33, you should have just said you're really 26 and it was a joke. It sounds to me though like she was just seeing how you would react, and your reaction most likely confirmed her thought that it's weird. It's all about how you react, they can see it in your face, your stance, feel the energy shift, everything. Personally I would have agreed and said I was way too old, told her I'm basically her dad, kissed her, and then told her she just had incest, but that's just my personality. PUA stuff is good for guidelines but we're all different, all the girls are different, and every situation is different, so I say always be yourself and have some insight from different pua's under your belt, but that should just be some salt to flavor the meal. Only pua I personally will ever recommend is Tyler (Owen Cook) from Real Social Dynamics. I've been through it all over the last ten years I used to be obsessed with pua, and guarantee if you go to youtube and search rsdtyler and rsdfreetour and watch all of the videos you'll get more useful, real universal solid advice there than you will from every pua combined put together including free or paid programs. It is what it is.
(04-20-2015, 02:57 PM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]My oinion is that by doing that, she disqualified herself, and your best bet is to disconnect and allow her to go her own way. Of course that is just an opinion, but perhaps one worth at least being aware of in your way forward. If a woman does something like that to me, it just tells me she is not mature or open minded enough to think for herself. My conclusion? She's not on my level yet, and I don't have time or interest to wait, so... see ya. People are much more than just a number. I have met 14 year olds who I would have sworn were in their 20's, and 36 year olds I would have sworn were six. Physical age doesn't act as a reliable determinant for personality, and by focusing so much on that she's being shallow, basically worrying more about "they" will think than her own interest and happiness. That happens when people are not very wise, or smart.
Thanks for your perspective Shannon. Makes a lot of sense!
Stage 2 Day 29 - 11 hrs
I noticed today that if I think a girl is hotter than about a 7 to me then I shy away from them, thinking that I'm going to bother them by just even looking at them. I think that this stems back to a really old self worth issue that AM started chipping away at. I want to flesh out the statement that i made on my last update when I said that I just found out that I don't touch people. I dwelled on it for a couple days and I noticed/ discovered/ remembered that I shy away from human touch. I had a female friend who I've already messed around with! tell me that she has continuously thought that I hated her because I never touched her and when she touched me I all but dove away. I thought back and I'm pretty sure this is typical. Very surreal for sure!
Realized I'm the safe guy. Even if I'm with a girl consistantly. I'm always on time (unless I plan to be late). I don't appreciate hostility or violence (funny because I was army once upon a time) i think that someone that yells isn't in control of themselves. I would say that I have missed out on a lot of life because I'm overly disciplined. I find it really difficult to let loose. Even when I was a teen it was the same. There was always a threat, an angle on everyone in the room, distance to exits, alternates.. I feel like sometimes I'm a sleeper agent or at the least a wannabee spy in my past life or some such. But I digress. I was always safe. Didn't escalate. Wouldn't let you come onto me if you were drunk, etc. Not sure how to aid the sub or whether I should sit back and let the sub do it's thing. That's it for now
I'm overly rigid as an adult and as teen, i want let go of that as well, be free and inhibited
(04-21-2015, 03:38 PM)Darkness Wrote: [ -> ]I'm overly rigid as an adult and as teen, i want let go of that as well, be free and inhibited
I know what you mean.. see people freespirited and loose and I'm like I wish 8 could be like that!
Stage two wrap up
I had moderate success in this stage, but the insecurity that developed by the end (last two weeks) was fricking brutal. I was antisocial and insecure almost every day with some really glorious days/ half days sprinkled in there. I worked fairly diligently for existing relationiships and was on tinder right until the end of the stage.... The day I started stage three. I was done on tinder and facebook. Thinking to myself that it was a waste of time and that it's taking me away from real life. I started stage three had sex with a new partner the next day. Secured a date the following day and another for fri.
Points of note:
Felt very emotional throughout this stage.
Pushed to be vulnerable
Talked alot to people in general about my feelings, but in a controlled way. Not a dump my emotions on people way
Started becoming a lot more intuitive
See that I HAVE been falling through on tests women have given me. Basically being too nice.
EVERY weekend I would feel like I was aimless and purposeless in life. Always hunting for my overarching dream or reason for living.
Had one day that I thought for two seconds about suicide because I have no purpose... Told myself I was ridiculous and moved on.
Can't tolerate anyone trying to control me.
Started craving connection with other human beings.
Started to feel higher status
Developing a higher self image
Stage 3 Day 5 11 hrs
This stage has me feeling like a million bucks so far. The first day that I listened there were people watching me everywhere.Definitely feel the social status increase. Feel a lot more bold especially with confronting people and being more authentic The date that I went on on monday would not have worked if I hadn't been as authentic as I was. I love cracking awkward jokes that some people would be wondering if I actually said that out loud. Feeling very disconnected from social media and not in a negative way... Just disconnected.
It actually is a push to come and post on here.. Just no desire for the electronics. My confidence is becoming epic. I switch back and forth between, wanting a bunch of girls or just one awesome one, and between developing a fwb relationship and deep emotional connection. I've been eating really clean lately and that's been paying off quite a bit. Haven't had much desire to go out to coffeeshops either (where I have Internet). That's it for now.