Subliminal Talk

Bonjour everyone!
And a happy new year!


I have re-introduced myself here in this thread
http://subliminal-talk.com/Thread-Happy-new-year

After months of fighting with myself, I have decided to get myself AM6 as a late X-mas gift.

Target,

Who am I kidding?
This is not going to fix every area of my life. Subs can help me but I need to get out there, not just for the chix, but also other for other opportunities in life.

I am quite confident and a positive person on the outside,
on the inside I still hold some shit that has been lying there for many many years.

ASC did shake it all up, but there is still a lot of shit that needs to be cleaned up.

For now my priority is to become a better person.
I am reading a couple of self help book on the way and I also hope to read the two books recomended in the AM6 instructions.

Woman.
I just feel that first I need to become the man I should be in first place and the woman will come to me. I know that she won't just fall out of the sky and on to my lap , I will have to take the actions, but lets say after AM6 I can find the woman I want easily. The experienced ones will know what I am saying! By the time I reach stage 6 I will know which direction I need to take to reach my goals. I keep all options opened, I would like to become the kind of man the woman of my dreams wish for. That does not mean I will try to become a doctor when I am engineer or a truck driver. Not that way. Trying to find a woman has not been that hard for me, but to find THE woman, yep, its been tough.

Career.

So far everything is okay, the place where I work is just fine, but I am looking to jump, make a bigger jump. Talent and hardwork got me the job, lacking confidence while I am amongst assholes and experienced people are not letting me grow up. There are a couple of Alpha males around and I don't blame them for being Alphas. Can't beat em? Join em I guess!
One day I am full of confidence, next day no.

In the past few months I have been able to understand and identify many factors that were holding me back from progressing in life and career. I have solved some fundamental issues, like pornagrapic addictions and procrastinating with the help of the subs from IML. So, to lead an average life the subs I have used were enough, but I don't want average.

I want the best that life can bring, for that I must feel the best at any time. AM6 is the first of the big steps I am going to take.

------------------------------------------------------------------------
Day1:

Last night as soon as I reached home, I purchased and played in right away.
Had some crazy dreams and I woke up twice, both times, It was like as if I have been asked to think about the meaning or metaphor.

1st one seem to be an advice in a very wierd way, somehow connecting the world events, (Russian sanctions, wtf? )
The message I understand from it is no matter what happenes, always complete the journey we start, its worth it and it will be rewarded.

Completion has been a small issue for me along with a looong host of things.
Well, after I had a glass of water, I went off to sleep.

2nd dream was a slap on my face.
Showed me misbehaving and abusing my athority and position.
In the past, I have tried to an alpha male when betas are around. I have tried to boss them and abuse them when the alphas were not looking out or I used my connections of some alphas to bully them. But it has always been when I was provoked in the past, it was me taking revenge and making a point. well, it surfaced in a form a very wierd dream and I shall address this.
After this I woke up and could never go back to sleep as I was feeling really guilty, because its true.
Took a shower, had my breakfast and got to the office.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
It had been just few hours since I started listening, and the effects (dreams) have been profound.
This assures me that I did the right thing to start AM6.

STAGE 1:
DAY 2&3


DAY 2:
Yesterday I really didn't feel that much buzz or anything, it was just business as usual even though I was playing the sub. But it was in the evening, when I went out I felt the buzz or I felt the subs were doing its stuff, again, it could just be a placebo.
I was having dinner with some friends who were working for my rival companies, but they were still my friends,
The alphas were suddenly respecting me, even though I did end up being one of the funniest guys on the table, its okay, I don't mind., guess the alcohol made be a bit loose!

Girls liked to talk, tease once in a while, to be frank, its not the alphness that I noticed in me, suddenly everyone wanted to be talk and mess with (in a fun way) and didn't mind me messing with them, well, this is the real me to be frank. I finally after many years I am feeling like this, A fun guy to be with! lets say I am 60% there for now. well, for now it doesn't concern me.

DAY 3:
Other than that, today I am feeling quite positive, there is no resistance to the sub, getting wierd dreams even though I can't really remember much!
I am listening more to the sounds around me, I am feeling the wind, I am breathing, I feel like a Feeling being when I am out walking. At home I feel normal.

Nothing much to report, I am gonna meditate and then sleep...
Adios

STAGE 1:
DAY 7:

Despite the fact that I recoverd from pornographic addiction (used subs) I did tend to go back once in a while and ended up feeling like shit, but for the past few days, I have been trying to understand the reasons, even though I don't have the strong urges, I was trying to understand why I did what I did. I found a lot of reasons, there are too many to mention, but in short, I am avoiding even pinterest, FB and other websites which might trigger. Another thing I notice is that when I go back to porn I am affected by Porn induced ED Immediately for the next few days, but when I stop it for a few weeks I recover, I did use OED subs few months back and it did an amazing job, but I didn't do the amazing job of quitting porn all together. I went back to porn when I realized that I am not able to get laid when ever I want! and I really thought it was okay, but in my case I notice its not okay. I need to stop shagging and watch porn for a significant amount of time, not just for ED issues, but in general. Its been two days since i made this decision, and I am already imagining the outcome, how I will behave, how people are going to respond to me, communicate, and amazing thing is that I am already noticing the results. Why didn't I do it earlier? Silly me. Gary Wilson's interview video that I found in youtube is helping me a lot to understand why despite the fact that I did overcome pornographic addiction I went back. I need a total reboot and I am okay even if I don't get laid for the next few months. Yep, I meant it. Because this reboot stuff (its been only two days) and I am seeing amazing results. Some might ask me, why didn't I get the same kind of results when I attempted to reboot last time? I didn't watch porn, but I imagined it and shaged when I wasn't getting laid, but that was like once a week. Even that is going to be denied plus, I am armed with the new knowledge, plus I am running AM6.

Now, back to the sub. Insane dreams, just insane, as with other confident building subs, I dreamt me of finding myself naked in front of my family and relatives! Ah cmon, why? Heard a song (in the dream) and I was with my mom at that time, and both of us start crying, and I asked her if she was crying for the same reason as I was, and she replied yes. The singer in that song used to look like my aunt (her younger sister) and my aunt died at a very young age. And my other aunt asks why am I crying, I am man, and I reply, 'I am bold at many things, but I can also be a pussy sometimes!' I didn't see that coming!

After I woke up and got ready to go to the office, I just feel the positive vibe in me, like something good happened to me, like I won a lottery or I had sex with my lover for breakfast. That happiness that you can't contain, you have to literally stop smiling. I don't know why or how I feel the way I felt, but I would love to be like this for the rest of my life regrardless of what shit happens.

People want to talk to me more, I notice even more things, people who normally wouldn't say anything are saying something. One lady working in bar who would just take the money and say thank you, smiled and wished, the other elder woman was pusing a cart (in the bar) stopped and smiled, a douche from the office offered me a coffee(after lunch and he already paid for it) , which i refused saying I just drink one coffee in the morning, but he still insisted and I insisted I won't but thank you. (normally I would say yes, just to be nice, but I found a way to say 'NO' in a nice way) I politely asked my other colleague if he wanted a coffee and he said yes.

I am meditating too, but at this stage, its for gratitude. I didn't expect AM6 to impact me so fast, seriously and I am still not sure how, is it because I am combining it with meditation? I don't know, but I have been using the sub for more than 15 hours a day.

Its only 2pm, wonder what does the rest of the day have in store for me.

STAGE 1:
DAY8:
I had really weird dreams, most of it I can't remember, but when I woke up I felt good, I meditated and got ready

Positive feeling from yesterday is there, its back and today I couldn't go the office in the morning as I had to solve some document issues and had informed my boss that I will take the 1st half of the day off. After I completed the work, I walked outside the office only to realize that its winter yet the sun is out, I didin't feel like going back to the office, I just wanted to spend sometime on the river side, I had a nice book in my bag luckly and I just sat by the river and read, occasionally glancing at the water or some birds flying. I know it feels all poetic and philosophical, but I felt like doing it, normally I would have just got back to the office at the earliest but today I just wanted to spend some time for myself, I didn't want to get back to my desk. I love my job, most of my friends envy me but today I just wanted to spend some time reading and enjoy some fresh outdoor air.

Day 9:

I love my job, I am doing something that I dreamt of as a child and I am the only one from my school who got what he wanted while the rest of my class mates studied for their next examination, I worked and dreamt of doing what I wanted, and from what seemed to be endless failures from the outside, a few years later after I left the school, I managed to connect all the dots and become what I wanted to become. It was a very long wait, But I managed not to get frustrated by other people's success doing what they didn't love to do. Finally Baaam! After getting used to being called a failure for many many years, I am featured in ads and magazines with my work and suddenly tables are turned, its been five years since I started getting paid to do what I love to do. I am greatful for that.

BUT

for the past few months, there has been an itching feeling to quit and work for someone with whom my full potential will show up. At the moment, I am using just 20% may be. I feel supressed, controlled and not being able to grow up because of the corporate structure. My work is being decided by a comity, my outcome is being decided by people who don't know what they are looking at. Too many talks and less results. When I did the ASC, I felt the need to quit even though I didn't find an alternative. That feeling has come back, but I would prefer to finish the current projects in 6 months, by then find another place. So that I don't have to live under a bridge.

Today, Ive been feeling very angry, angry with myself for staying here too long to end up feeling like this. I have made my mind to find another place, so now its easier for me do the other things that needs to be done.

So, if I get fired I am gonna sue IML.
kidding

DAY 14:

The positive feeling that I had at the start of the stage is vanishing, lets say its vanished. I am kinda depressed, lotsa doubts creeping in. Today morning I was feeling really tired despite the fact that I got enough sleep. May be its because I kept the subs running.

Lots of creepy dreams over the past few days.
This one part, I somehow found myself in a terrorist controlled area, and soon I was handed over a bazooka or something and was asked to fire at the tourists or I die. It was a terrorist infested area and for some reason tourists used that part to cross their way to some other place. Finally I took that terrorist hand (who was holding a pistol) and pointed his pistol to my forehead and asked him to go ahead and shoot me.
I don't know why I had this dream at this stage, where I am seen doing the right thing or something good. Well.

I am seeing or understanding my past mistakes, problems, success, failures, relationships, education, health , wealth, habbits, behaviour etc and linking all the dots to where I am right now.
I am jelous of a colleague who takes all the attention every time everywhere even when its shit he says, (I think its shit, but to others it may be gold) but the important thing is what I am feeling and how I react. I am not bothered about the lack of attention I get, but the amount he gets. Jelousy, I must contain this and I need to address the way I react.

I am not interested in women, nor anything else. Generally I am bored, laid back, relaxed, not interested in porn either, but being tempted to look at asses in pinterest. I have resisted the temptation. This is because I am planning to quit fapping indefinitely, but that has left me really horny and even if I move my legs while I sit I seem to get aroused very quickly. Doing my job quite okay.

Regarding food, I am eating a lot more, nutrition is better. For now I am exersicing a lot, although its just streaching. Hope to start running again later this month.

DAY 15:

I am really finding it difficult to wake up for the past two days!
Had some really crazy dreams. Past two days have been really difficult for me to put up with.
I am going through a very emotional time, circumstances are putting pressure on me. Its not the sub I feel. I got to make some really life changing decisions. Somehow I think I need more time. I would love to wait till the end of august. Its getting increasingly difficult to focus on my job because of all this. I think for the past few years it has been like this on and off, but my addiction to porn helped me to escape from the reality. This only helped the problems grow bigger and bigger and I am just finding myself not knowing how to handle it. Since quitting porn, on and off for the past few months, I am feeling like a child who has suddenly beein thrown into a world full of adults. Ive got to learn so many things so fast. I will not go back to porn however, I have decided to face the reality, eventhough for most of the day I am horny as hell despite the fact that I have no interest in women in general. Its all so damn strange. Since starting AM6 I am beginning to value myself more and more, little by little, yet that hopless feeling that nothing I do is actually giving me the kind of results I want is creeping in, and that includes doubts on the AM6 sub, but in the past I've had good results with the subs from IML, that I use as a way to convince myself to keep continuing and have faith.

Though, an adult who has been laid a couple of times, I still feel like a virgin when it comes to relationships and understanding it. Just not matured enough to understand that other people too have feelings and their moods and preferences can change, its a constant thing. Actually I do understand, but just not able to accept it. Well, in the end of AM6 I hope this problem is going to be lesser and I will throw in my effort too. Again, I don't blame porn for it, but I blame MY PAST pornograpic addiction which put me in a back foot for not giving enough time towards relationships.
Atleast, I am in a fortunate position to understand my problems and start adrressing it one by one.



Now physical part:

In the past two months Ive put on some weight, enough to turn my six packs to family pack. For now I plan to do nothing about that as I am doing yoga and other streaching exersices to focus on increasing my height. In the past month I have been able to grow few centimeters. I used HGH enhancer to help me out, now I take two pills of Arginine, multi vitamins and some protien supliments to boost the growth. its working slowly. I hope to start running from next week though. This will keep the fat in check. I hope to start transforming myself from inside out for the next few months or the 1st half of this year. These changes should help me to choose the best direction I need to take to live my life to the fullest.

DAY 16:

Sleep is okay, didn't find it difficult to wake up on time today. So, I feel better during the day (compared to the past few days) Emotions or mood just keeps swinging from positive to negative. A bit cranky now and then, energetic for a moment, then I feel I am drained. Still so horny yet I have no interest in women. AM6 plus rebooting is causing these issues to raise I feel. 11 days is the first time in my life I have lived without watching porn. (ever since I started watching porn in any form) I had managed not to ejaculate for more than 40 days, but I could never stop watching porn. This itself feels like a great achievement, although I should give OPA 4g the credit which I used as a primer before AM6

I don't know if any of you have been in a similar situation, if so, please help.

On the good side, my reboot combined with AM6, I notice even more things these days. Somehow my observation is richer. When I used BIABW I remember making brief eye contacts with women, that sort of eye contacts are returning. I somehow notice more smiles or positive body language from everyone towards me, especially the women. When I started using BIABW, I remember one female bar attendant started adding chocolate powder in my Cuppucinos, back then I thought she does it for everyone, today I was observing her, it seems I am the only special one. It just looks like BIABW is still working on the background, just that I didn't simply pay enough attention. Its nice to know that 4g programs are still doing their job, to be honest, some of them are just making my life a bit easier. I can't wait for the parties I will be attending next month.

I had a crazy dream, I hope someone can help me out to crack what it meant.
I was in my office and all of a sudden, this attractive secretary (there is no attractive secretary in the office) flirts with me and makes me sign a bunch of doccuments and tells me that I am fired. I talk with my boss and he seemed surprised while I realize that this was his plan. In my mind, my boss is a nice guy, but like most bosses he could be an asshole sometimes. I have never trusted him 100%. Yet, I don't know what this dream meant.

HELP!!

Apart from AM6 and Nofaps, I took up a new challenge day before yesterday evening. 30 days cold shower.
Its not that easy to stay in cold shower for five minutes during winter.

Day 18:
cant' belive its already 18 days!

Past two days have been really really smooth. No negativity, nor that amazingly positive feeling either..it just feels relaxing and effortless, no tensions that I used to have earlier.
Yesterday I had an appointment in the bank for renewing my credit card, the lady who is in charge (early 40) is already flirting with me. It usually takes time for me to notice women flirting with me, but this time I notice it right from the first second. Questions after questions about my personal life. Which car do you want to buy? which colour? etc etc... just last week I met her, she was totally different, I don't want to say she was cold, but she was least interested. She kept playing with her hair like a teen, kept moving about and then a bit restless. Its the first time a lady of that age has been like that towards me. Best part is, even if she was attractive, I seem to care least, earlier, I would have just gone bonkers would have called my friends and said, ' dude this milf wana bang me' or something like that. While I am aware that I am not on stage 6, I just notice that I am just taking it easy.

And then yesterday, was out with friends for dinner. This cute chick sitting next to me, (common friend, but met her for the first time) I am hardly bothered, I don't feel needy or crave for her attention by saying or doing something. I just kinda ignore her and talk to the others, then we decided to go to a bar and get something to drink, while paying the bills, I notice my close friend (who is kinda single) talk to her, and I said to myself that I hope that guy gets her, both of them look good together. This sorta thing is again kinda a new feeling for me, despite my age, I would have got jealous if I see a friend get lucky when I didn't. This time no, I just seem to be relaxed.
As we walk to the bar to get few drinks, I notice this girl was kinda alone while rest of us in the group had someone to talk to, so she herself joins me and starts talking, as we talk, she just leans on me slowly and pushes me away from the rest of my friends, but still continues talking to me, I have been hit by girls before, but this is crazy. She is cute and sweet, but this is crazy, But I managed to keep calm, and take it easy and not make a big fuss about it, as I wasn't really interested in playing with anyone that night, besides, we have common friends (some of us are very close like a small family). I have already seen some friends leave our pack because of some relationship failures between them. Anyway I have her on my fb ..

This is amazing. I haven't yet started using pheromones or visualized anything.
I give the credit to AM6 and Nofap

kool

Reminds me of when that girl at the soap shop had her hands all over me a year or so ago. I totally see that as a missed opportunity to f*ck her brains out. "He who hesitates is lost."

She might not be dtf the next time around.

(01-24-2015, 03:53 PM)SargeMaximus Wrote: [ -> ]Reminds me of when that girl at the soap shop had her hands all over me a year or so ago. I totally see that as a missed opportunity to f*ck her brains out. "He who hesitates is lost."

She might not be dtf the next time around.

yea, they keep changing... don't they?

(01-25-2015, 02:59 AM)iceman Wrote: [ -> ]

(01-24-2015, 03:53 PM)SargeMaximus Wrote: [ -> ]Reminds me of when that girl at the soap shop had her hands all over me a year or so ago. I totally see that as a missed opportunity to f*ck her brains out. "He who hesitates is lost."

She might not be dtf the next time around.

yea, they keep changing... don't they?

Yeah they do. It's all about the present moment.

Next week is going to be a partying week so, its gonna be interesting.