(12-04-2010, 08:52 AM)ronatello Wrote: [ -> ]Now that would be interesting! And thank you guys for hijacking my thread! lol
Recap time for this week..
What I wrote Friday pretty much summed it up:
My mood swings returned and had a couple nights of crappy sleep. I feel better this morning, however. Some of my coworkers and others in other departments were in the mood to flirt with me yesterday and that was definitely good since I was feeling a bit down when I got to work. It's apparent that stage 4 has stirred something up. Doubting thoughts have come up but I just tell myself to keep going.
And I have a question to ask all of you.
When you come upon a woman that you really like, what do you say to her in order to become your girlfriend? I know it's not necessarily what you say that gets the girl and more like what you do but sometimes, verbal communication is the icing on the cake so to speak.
I mean I can flirt, tease, and play the eye game until the cows come home but there is something that I'm leaving out.
For me personally, I let it be known subtly that I find her attractive however I also make sure I mix in flirting, teasing, and whatever. The thing is for me is that it can take a while before I "approve" of a girl however in your situation I'd try to seek a "get together" with the woman first, build rapport, and then try to have sex ASAP. The reason I say ASAP is that it prevents her from "holding out" on you later so to speak and plus it gives you a taste what to come.
I can't tell you exactly what I'd or what
to say because it depends on the woman in question but you're an Alpha now, I'm sure you'll come up with something.
Ron, that's awesome you found a girl you want to be with. Well... with your mindset, you should automatically assume she is interested in you and it would be a pleasure for her to be your girlfriend. For me, personally, I'd do it without words. Simply, follow your gut instinct. First, take her out on a date, I recommend a nice dinner, something casual and easy going like pizza or for me, a hookah restaurant (NOT HOOTERS!) ;P After a while, if the date gets dull, tell her it's time to go and you're taking her somewhere else, be a leader and she will follow. Next, take her someplace more fun and spontaneous. Take her to mini-golf, the park, an amusement park, some place you can walk around and be active together talking and doing something. If you go to the park, tell her to sit on the swing and push her and then see who can swing the highest (girls love getting a chance to be a little kid again) tap her shoulder and run away telling her you're going to beat her to the slide haha. I know with your personality you'd probably be good at this. If you go to mini-golf tease her a little. This is usually the time comfort levels increase and my opportunity to get closer to her in a much easier way. She'll most likely be really open, flirty, giggly, and perhaps even childish (ultimate goal right there). When it happens to me, if feels like it's just meant to be, like we've known each other for years. So natural. The next step, obviously, be in the moment with her, enjoy her presence and you'll know when the time is right to make a move (if she already hasn't). Usually for me, I'll just grab her hand because I feel so compelled to do so and she enjoys it. Seduction comes later if you're up for that, grab her and kiss her, if you're really wild, push her up against a wall and bite into her lips (learned this from an ex-girlfriend of mine, great technique, they'll NEVER forget it!) ;P Obviously, once all is said and done, she's yours for the taking, tell her you want her so bad. Usually when I make out with a girl, the sexual energy goes crazy and we're rubbing each other like crazy, ready for bed, just grab her hand and lead the way! Really, I can't give much of a step-by-step instruction as it has to come natural. I'm sure some of this will help you out though. Be confident and know you're the prize and she wants to be with you, the rest will unfold
Yes ron.. I've noticed your mindset in that post seemed a little needy... focus on yourself and how you would feel if you gave it up to her. is she worth it? You need to think I can have any other girl.. why this one. I'm not one to say a whole lot but I personally am getting a better sense of myself and am learning to let go of everything. Then the indifference comes and that's what really turns women on. I feel like at the end of this journey for me I'll have women making the first move on me then all I have to do is lead her to the bedroom. I think when you learn to relax in the moment like ryan said.. everything will just happen. You'll just start saying things that you never thought you'd even say or she'll just keep talking.. you'll get so annoyed (say after 10 minutes of her blabbing about something) just tell her to kiss you. Back in the day It would have taken me alot of balls to do that.. but I've started to have dreams wehre women come to me and want to make out with me..a nd then I'm the one saying this isn't such a good idea. I kind of learned from this is that this is what will be happening to me in the near future. and If I want a girl bad enough and I know it's there.. It would be my pleasure to let her make the first move. I would say "Kiss me". That is after the sexual tension has built up and you just know it. This is just a technique I've seen in some movies and I've started visualizing about this technique. It's fun man
But what it all boils down to it.. relax, let go, and enjoy the moment. See the natural beauty within her and like Ryan said.. this allows you to just be with her and it's like you've been friends forever. She'll practically fall in love with you.
Maybe if you could elaborate on where you are in the relationship with this specific girl? If you havn't taken her out... just casually offer to get lunch together to chat about whatever. I personally would do what cory does and just give out your number to a bunch of women or pick up girls with the eye game in a club or something lol.
Yeah I need to elaborate a bit regarding this one. She is a waitress and it was her that approached me and not the other way around. She apparently saw me interact with several other waitresses and then bounced over and introduced herself, shook my hand and so on. This was back in March of this year. I got to sit in her section twice earlier this year in April / May and we got to know each other quite a bit better. Then her schedule changed and her work days moved. So from early May up until just recently we haven't seen each other. Then two weeks ago I ran into her again on a Sunday and she immediately lit up when she saw me. She does make it rather obvious that she's interested. As far as relationship goes, we're just friends for now (and I'm okay with that). We're facebook friends and that's about it. I'm in no rush.
And yes, I may have come across a bit needy. That tends to rear its ugly head from time to time but it's not nearly as strong as it used to be.
I'm not saying she's the one. But I would definitely would like to get to know her more. The last thing I would like to do is come across as indifferent and uninterested (esp. since she was the one that approached me!).
Aside from her, I have my eye on several others.
But to clarify, I'm not going to settle down with her and drop seeing and interacting with other women. Not by a longshot.
She definitely likes to flirt and touch (and that's when she's waitress-ing!) and yes, we hug each other when we meet and when I leave.
@ Ryan: Thank you for the advice! It's good for visualizing. While I'm good at coming up with stuff, sometimes it takes input and ideas from another to get the ball really rolling.
Time for weekly recap. I still find not much of a difference between this stage and last. Confidence is still inching its way up, though at times it wavers somewhat. I'm still feeling much more at ease around others than in the past. I'm also feeling more confident dancing "dirty" as well.
I went salsa dancing after work last night. Since I work 2nd shift, I was already half tired when I got there but I persevered anyway. I got there and ordered a R&C which was mostly R and very little C so I got buzzed from that bigtime
. So I was standing there watching the dancing taking place and then some older lady (cougar alert, Ryan! lol) bounces over and asked if I dance. Umm of course!
The lady wasn't really my type physically (slightly overweight and in her early-mid 40's I'm guessing) but she definitely wanted to dance dirty. If I were to be even more buzzed, I would have probably would have fully made out with her right in front of everyone on the dancefloor. I wasn't caring that much at the time anyway
. At the end of the dance, she kept bear hugging me.
I was a bit miffed at a few of the dancers that I asked to dance and they declined and then they go dancing with others but then I think... it's their loss and let it go. I just won't ask them next time.
And also as an experiment, I'm dabbling with playing the meditation tracks (primarily the theta ones) concurrently with the alpha sub and visualizing (or at least trying to, heh).
Cougars!
Me and you are writing a book one day, "Journey into Cougarville".
So how'd that date go?
You had to ask that!
that's okay. Me and the girl got to be talking about movies (Little Fockers) and she said she wanted to see the movie. Then I suggested that I should take her to see it and she smiles and says, "I don't know...". The date hasn't commenced yet. At the moment, I'm just trying to visualize myself being with her having fun.
I'm just going to let things work out on their own and I don't want to pressure her or badger her to go out with me.
I'm taking 2 of my female coworkers to Hoots Sunday so it's going to be interesting. Both are married but both were both glad when I asked them to come along. And that waitress more than likely will be there as well.
My dream had a hooters girl in it last night (wasn't the one in question but another one that I like) lol.
Well, not every girl is always going to say yes and the best thing to remember is that even Casanova had his share of rejections but it's all a matter about how you take those rejections and how you let them affect you. I believe everyone has to go through it to be great with women. But either way, sounds like you got a few others anyways so that's a plus
Congrats!
"I should take you", perhaps she felt like you were valuing her and felt needy in wanting to be with her/wanting something out of her, I don't know but women can take the slightest wording the wrong way entirely (so I've come to find out). I don't think you screwed it up though but the better looking women are so used to guys valuing them and asking them out like that. For now, just be yourself and have no outcome in mind, let things happen naturally like you said. Personally, I would have said something more along the lines of, "Really? I was thinking about seeing that this weekend, you should tag along ;P". Make it sound like you have a life without her and it would be a pleasure for her to join it.
Good luck!
I'm still feeling my way around so to speak so I'm bound to make mistakes and say the wrong things. And I definitely have others that I'm thinking about, not to mention the girls living in the apartment complex where I live that I run into from time to time so no worries.
As for the girl in particular, I'm sure she will come back around. For now, I'm going to cool it and not badger her. I wouldn't want someone badgering me to go with them so I'll treat her the way I would want to be treated... no badgering!
Well, time for weekly recap!
I'm upping my efforts to visualize what I'm wanting... it's coming slowly but surely. I tend to be happier after having a good visualizing session. The trick is to never, ever doubt the visualizing after I do it. I still have mild bouts of neediness crop up from time to time. I'm guessing it's either my subconscious or my ego trying to fight the subliminal. In another thread, I think OldMan said something when you rid yourself of one old habit, it creates a void, thus the caged animal feeling.
I'm definitely liking what I see when I look in the mirror as of late. I work out at the gym on average 5 days a week... run about 25 to 35 minutes on the elliptical exerciser and then do some weight lifting and resistance training. My arms are getting bigger and I'm losing some of my belly so that puts me in a good mood!
My confidence continues on its way up. I just got back from visiting my dad and we talked about this and that and we hardly had much to say to each other back in the day so I know it's progress in the right direction. I've done a lot of letting go of bitterness I once had for him.
Well, this entry gets an award for being the most scattershot sounding post ever conceived! Oh well...
Weekly recap time!
A lot happened this week. My cell phone carrier (AT&T) switched over to 3G but the tower closest to me apparently was (and still is at times) having trouble with the 3G service. So... I get on Facebook and totally go off, using profanity (but using * in some of the words and the WTF abbreviation). My mom of course sees it and I can just imagine her having a heart attack since she has never seen that language come from me. I did later apologize for the blow up but I was angry for awhile. I couldn't call out or check voice mail or much of anything for a while. Well, after that ugly incident, things got better.
I had a fun time hanging out with my friends last Sunday at Hoots, then we went to the mall and window shopped mostly. I had a few check outs from women... another cougar was eyeing me up. I happen to briefly lock eyes at a girl that was walking into Sephora while I was walking out trying to catch up to the group I was with.
Stage 4 for me is one that is forcing me out of my comfort zone more often.
Another side of me that's coming out more often is my zany side. A lot of my problems were created when I tried to suppress that because of what people thought about it (in other words, I was doing their thinking for them which is a BIG no-no!) but it's more like now I'll say what I want to when that time comes.
I'm more inclined to make quick witted remarks now than in the past.
Stage 4 it seems is bringing up some neediness (not overwhelming but nonetheless it's there) and old thinking from time to time. But I'm sticking with it and I'm not backing down. I start stage 5 late next week. And after I go through all 6 stages, I will write a testimonial of Alpha Male 2010. Look for it in mid-march. It will contain a brief recap of each stage. I keep 2 journals on my computer. One is a general journal which captures things that stick out and other deals with Alpha Male in particular.
I am glad you're not doing other people's thinking for them. That really is a big no no. That's how you end up sitting in your bedroom for the rest of your life. It will get you a lot more living to let them decide what they think. I had to remind myself that the other day.
I'm looking forward to seeing what you thought when you're done.
Time for weekly recap and it also contains a brief recap of stage 4.
Stage 4 as a whole was rather hard for me. Some Neediness came back, along with some old ways of thinking (perhaps something in the script caused that? I dunno!). Despite that, my confidence continued inching its way up (as it has been doing since starting stage 2). Looking women that I find attractive in the eye also continues to get easier for me. Caged animal-itus was the hall mark of stage 4 for me. Despite me being in a somewhat bad mood at times, I still felt the need to get out and do stuff instead of staying in (which really sux nowadays!) so I credit the sub for making me get out and do stuff, even when I don't really feel like it at times.
I started stage 5 last Thursday night and so far, my mood has improved somewhat along with my sex drive getting knocked upwards somewhat as well.
As an experiment, I mixed the alpha stage 5 along with the level 9 meditation track in Nero Soundtrax and exported it as a wav (non compressed just straight wav!) so I will tinker with that some.
I actually played that when I got in from work... put on the headphones and fire up the track. One thing that strikes me as odd is that I don't start drifting into semi-unconsciousness until the frequency begins its gradual sweep back up. I figured that I would doze off mid-point at the lowest frequency level and then wake up as it sweeps up. Not so.
So far, I'm enjoying stage 5!
It seems like my neediness is once again dying off; been feeling more indifferent lately which is a good thing. It's really funny how each stage can affect each person here differently
.
My mood has been rather good and I'm still figuring out the turn-around. I've been experimenting with the meditation kit still. In my previous post, I mentioned that I mixed the Alpha male stage 5 along with the level 9 meditation file. I've played that a couple of times when I got in from work and naturally I'm tired when I'm coming in from work at 10:45 at night
. I listen to the track and doze off shortly after mid-way when the frequency begins to ramp back up. Then I wake up to absolute silence! lol
The only downside that happened to me yesterday is when I got in from work and powered on the computer, my 2nd hard disk decided to go on the fritz and turn its NTFS filesystem over to RAW. I went through my usual troubleshooting and had to use a program in order to recover my files. With the hard drive being just a year old, I'm going to probably send it back to Western Digital so I can get a new one (it has a 3 yr warranty). In the meantime, I will be burning my recovered files to DVD so I won't get a nasty surprise like that again.
Despite that happening to me, I didn't get too upset, though last night I didn't sleep so well (naturally!)
The "caged animal" feeling has also subsided as well, to which I'm glad. It was the hallmark of stage 4 for me.
I'm about to start my salsa class next Saturday so I will be busy with that. I enjoy helping others learn the basics to salsa and I'm definitely confident enough to teach them. I say bring the class on because I'm ready for them!