Subliminal Talk

Day 9 of stage 5: Last weekend was awesome! Three birthdays and a whole lot of dancing! I'm amazed how much my group of friends has grown in the last few months. Not only has it grown in numbers but we do so much stuff together.

Stage 4 did a lot for me. It really showed me that I'm a great dude with lots of cool stuff going on in my life. I am much more grateful for the things I have and happier in general. It has also started this insatiable curiosity about life. I am going back and questioning the things that I had just accepted the answers to before.

Stage 5 seems to be getting me even more attention than stage 4 did. I have also noticed that I'm caring less and less about what other people think about me. This has been leading me to be more adventurous and sometimes flirty. I would much rather have a good time than worry about what others think. The AM5 steam train keeps pushing forward, faster and faster. Each stage is getting more noticeable effects that the previous.

Story time: I was meeting up with my friends for the birthday dinner before we went out dancing. There were three guys (including me) waiting, on time, for the girls to show up. We went and grabbed some food as they were going to be late. By the time we showed up to the dinner, they were already sitting. The girl that I talked about a while back shows up later than us with what appeared to be a date. The last time I saw this girl she was leaving on a train after spending the night with me. Needless to say, we had a great night and following day together. I knew immediately what this was. It was a sh*t test and I was actually excited to see what would happen. I've not been tested to such an extent before.

First, let me say, it was setup beautifully in my favor. She walks in to bunch of tables pushed together with a ton of people around it. I'm sitting there, in the middle, talking to a nice blonde wearing a short dress laughing at my jokes and touching my arm. From there, we ate and I just had a good time with my friends. We left to go dancing and I introduce myself to her date. I actually start to like the guy. He had never been out dancing and was like I was before I started to get out and be more social.

We got into the club and I took him aside and started to teach him how to dance salsa. I went over the basic footwork and gave him a few moves. I look up to see her sitting and I can tell that this is getting her turned on. I told her to get up and start dancing with him. She, of course, did what I said and I grabbed another girl and started dancing. It was a awesome night with a bunch of memories. She told me that she wants to go out dancing with me. I told her we would figure something out.

The guys:


The ladies:

Awesome!

Day 19 of stage 5: This stage has left me looking at my life a lot! Really questioning if I'm happy at my job. Not sure if its the work or just the stress associated with my type of position. Everything was always needed yesterday. It could just be this particular position as well. I've been learning how to disconnect from the stress which is really helping. I also know the stress has ended up with me sick more than at other positions. It is a temporary problem either way since I'm only on contract till March.

(07-28-2013, 03:15 PM)SargeMaximus Wrote: [ -> ]Wow. I wish I had your confidence. Nice job.

What do you mean? Havent you been using am 5.0 for a long time allready? Shouldnt you be more confident?

(10-19-2013, 05:48 PM)TheAlphabaus Wrote: [ -> ]

(07-28-2013, 03:15 PM)SargeMaximus Wrote: [ -> ]Wow. I wish I had your confidence. Nice job.

What do you mean? Havent you been using am 5.0 for a long time allready? Shouldnt you be more confident?

I am more confident, it is true. To be honest, I don't know when I wrote that, but I can tell you as of finishing the program, my confidence in already-established relationships is rock solid, as is anything in my comfort zone. I have no desire/confidence to initiate things or go beyond where I am already at, however.

Day 19 stage 5: I took a four day break from AM to deal with a nasty cold that has been going around. I replaced it with MIR which I believe kept me from having to see the doctor. I had the sickness for about a week and it wasn't getting any better. Four days with MIR cleared it right up. Pretty amazing stuff!

The break really showed me that the things I've been learning are sticking with me. The time off of AM didn't change anything for me. I acted the same and felt the same. Really happy about that. That being said, I hated missing the days and pushing out finishing seven more days.

Went out ballroom dancing with a girl from my salsa class last night. We had a great time and I was able to show her a bunch of new dance styles. Our conversation turned flirty when I walked her to the train. I've been wanting to go for the kiss with her so I decided that this was my best shot. I leaned in and she pushed me away. Told me that she didn't want to because we dance together. Not even sure what that really means but I left pretty happy. Win or lose, I went for what I wanted. I didn't wait for her permission. It will be interesting in class next time. One of the fears I've had in the past is that this will make thing really weird. Guess I will just have to wait and see...

(10-26-2013, 02:51 PM)InTheZone Wrote: [ -> ]Told me that she didn't want to because we dance together. Not even sure what that really means

Sounds like a sh*t test to me.

(10-26-2013, 06:46 PM)SargeMaximus Wrote: [ -> ]

(10-26-2013, 02:51 PM)InTheZone Wrote: [ -> ]Told me that she didn't want to because we dance together. Not even sure what that really means

Sounds like a sh*t test to me.

I think you're right.

(10-27-2013, 09:09 AM)InTheZone Wrote: [ -> ]

(10-26-2013, 06:46 PM)SargeMaximus Wrote: [ -> ]

(10-26-2013, 02:51 PM)InTheZone Wrote: [ -> ]Told me that she didn't want to because we dance together. Not even sure what that really means

Sounds like a sh*t test to me.

I think you're right.

Any idea what you do with those things? My coach hasn't taught me about those yet.

If you take them seriously you lose. If not you win.
ex. If she says she can't kiss you because you're friends, you can say "Well ok but in my experience it's a little weird to have sex without kissing."

(10-27-2013, 09:31 AM)SargeMaximus Wrote: [ -> ]

(10-27-2013, 09:09 AM)InTheZone Wrote: [ -> ]

(10-26-2013, 06:46 PM)SargeMaximus Wrote: [ -> ]

(10-26-2013, 02:51 PM)InTheZone Wrote: [ -> ]Told me that she didn't want to because we dance together. Not even sure what that really means

Sounds like a sh*t test to me.

I think you're right.

Any idea what you do with those things? My coach hasn't taught me about those yet.

Well, if its a sh*t test then she is looking for a reaction. I'm better at being un-reactive so I'm just going to ignore that it ever happened. The point is to show that you're unaffected by it.

(10-27-2013, 10:59 AM)InTheZone Wrote: [ -> ]Well, if its a sh*t test then she is looking for a reaction. I'm better at being un-reactive so I'm just going to ignore that it ever happened. The point is to show that you're unaffected by it.

So, like, saying "ok" but trying to kiss her anyways? I don't know what a "reaction" is, like, responding and reacting are two different things, right? What do you mean when you say she's looking for a reaction?

Yeah saying "OK" and kissing her anyways is good.
Saying "You are....[look into her eyes deeply]..absolutely..[move closer to her]...right" [kiss her] is great.

it can't be done formulaically though, you have to feel out the situation. But whatever objections they give I like to magnify.

Example: "You're my student!"
me: "I know, it's so naughty when things like this happen."

(10-27-2013, 03:38 PM)SargeMaximus Wrote: [ -> ]So, like, saying "ok" but trying to kiss her anyways? I don't know what a "reaction" is, like, responding and reacting are two different things, right? What do you mean when you say she's looking for a reaction?

Well, I was trying to kiss her. She put her hand on my chest and stopped me. Stratos is right that sometimes women put up "token" resistance and you just have to push through but this wasn't that situation. This was a real no.

The reaction she is looking for is how I act after she rejected my advance. She wants to see if I take it like a man or not. You remember talking to your coach about push / pull right? She pulled me in with the flirty conversation then when I went for the kiss, she pushed me away. The purpose of the push / pull is to draw me in. She acts like she wants to hold the power but, not really. She wants to test me to see if I am willing to give my power away.

Am I going to start acting needy towards her? That is what she wants to know. Did this rejection effect my behavior towards her? If my behavior is exactly the same as before then she knows that I'm not going to give my power away so easily.

These tests don't happen because a woman wants to make your life hell. She wants to know that she can trust you. Are you showing her the real person that you are or is it some sort of act? Tests are like her way of saying "I like this guy you act like but, is it really who you are or are you just trying to impress me?"

If you're a witty guy and you can come up with responses like Stratos is talking about on the fly then go for it. Thats not who I am (at least not yet). I better playing my role which is to be unaffected by this. I'm going to treat her the same way before this ever happened.