Tonight I start stage 4. Stage 3 has really helped me notice my body language and seems to get me more attention. I could tell that this stage had a lot of new material in there for me and it didn't all stick this first time around.
First three approaches are under my belt. The first two were kind of awkward but I felt really good after them. The one I did yesterday was kind of funny in the fact that I did the approach and the way she cowered reminded me of my cat. I know that these reactions are a reflection of the emotions I bring into the approach. The first two were awkward because I felt awkward doing them. The fear that I saw in the interactions were a reflection of the fear that I was feeling when I entered.
The third approach today went much better. I decided to have more fun with it. I felt more relaxed this morning even to the point where I didn't get the approach in until I was right next to work. I was like, "Oh crap, I need to get an approach in before work!" and so I saw a girl with a nice looking dress and went in to do the approach.
It was kinda funny because I put my hand out to touch her on the arm and I was thinking that I don't know what to say. In that moment I decided to just own the situation and said "Excuse me, I know this is completely random, but, I saw you walking down the street and I wanted to tell you that I think you look really nice today." She got a big smile on her face and said "Hi! I'm Melissa" and shook my hand. She went on to tell me that she has been having a really crappy morning and that this just made her day.
I have done approaches before but the difference now is that I am more outcome independent. I felt good after all three approaches even though the first two didn't go as well as I would like. I used them to learn how to present myself better. Second, I have noticed that my overall level of fear is much less than it has been in the past.
I want to get to the point where approach a beautiful woman is not a chore but something fun that adds excitement to my life. I've been reading "The 50th Law" recently and it talks about knowing your audience. In order to know your audience, you have to open lines of communication with them. You can't expect to know their needs and wants by reading about them in a book or report. They are real people. If my audience is women then I just got to get out there and connect with them. That sounds like fun to me!
Haha man sounds like you got a lot of potential, you made that girls day which is awesome. I like reading this journal, it's interesting and creative. They say in the first seven seconds a woman knows whether they are attracted to you or just want to be friends. It's so real that you just go out and approach women for the joy of it. That's some highpower and I'm sure the next couple stages will really polish your abilities to communicate exactly what you want in the most subtle/ understanding way definitely give you that AM aura.
Thanks
Fonzy
you really have good life style regardless of having women or not and that's the main point
and why you have faster results than some others
also liked your rule about not being at same spot when girl left you,gonna use that!
thanks for sharing and good luck
Thanks guys, I appreciate the comments!
Day 9 in stage 4: Today I've been lethargic and not really wanting to do anything. For some reason the weekend is much more depressing. I would think that having time off would be better than not but I feel like I'm not accomplishing anything so it is irritating me. I think stage 4 is uncovering a hornets nest of issues. Today, I really did not want to do the approach. On the way to get some food, I did a simple ask for directions type of approach and it was easy. The way back I saw a cute girl and I knew that I had to do the approach. The moment I saw her, all I could think was "F***!!!" I really didn't want to do the approach but I knew I had to.
The more I talked, the faster she walked. I just let her walk away after a bit. My mindset going into the interaction was very negative and I can tell she was responding to that. I was trying to get her to engage but she didn't respond. Very short answers.
My neediness has crept back up and this stage has released a lot of negative thoughts. I just keep thinking that this is a waste of time and that I will never get the results I want. I'm thinking that spending the day alone might not be a bad idea right now. These thoughts could have been under the radar for quite a while but I've been too busy to notice them.
Day 10 of stage 4: After spending the whole day in my apartment, I decided to go out to the salsa club with my friends last night. Didn't really feel like I wanted to go but I missed salsa class all week due to a bunch of stuff coming up. Felt like I wanted to at least get out there and practice and honestly, I felt a little rusty after just a week off.
The night went amazingly well. I was out there dancing and my focus was on just having fun. If I messed up a move or the girl ran into somebody else dancing, I was going to not focus on that. During the night I had a huge revelation. I could see that most of the guys dancing there were focused on impressing the girl that they were dancing with. It felt as if they thought that by impressing the girl with their dance moves, they had a better chance of getting the girl to like them. I, on the other hand, was focused on having fun and it was contagious. Even though there were much better dancers with much smoother moves, I seemed to get the attention. Logically, I couldn't figure it out. It was the fact that I didn't care what they thought that drew them to me.
I had girls surrounding me and asking me to dance all night. One girl who was a friend of a friend danced with me a few times. She didn't speak very good english and didn't really know how to dance salsa very well, but, she danced with me during a night-club type of song and the next thing I know, she is grinding on me. It was one of those moments where I was thinking, is this really happening to me? :angel:
I was watching this video yesterday (warning: nearly two hours long):
video and one of the points that really stood out to me was that the neediness for women is peeled of like layers of an onion. It resonated with me because I feel like that was the process that I went through yesterday. Its like I need that process of having the attachment and then having it break to realize that I didn't need to have the attachment in the first place.
Last night I did leave an opportunity on the table. I left the salsa club with a girl and we have been friends for a while now. We take the same class and have many mutual friends. I could have made a move but my issue is that I am still learning how to be a man and learning how to treat women in the process. If I'm going to make a mistake, I would rather not make the mistake with someone in my social circle. I felt bad about it last night but feel much better about my decision today.
Day 16 of stage 4: Stage 4 is a drainer for me. I feel so uninspired to get out of my apartment on the weekends. During the week, I keep my crazy schedule but when I have no where I need to be, I just sit around enjoying the break. If I had to guess, I feel like my resistance is coming from the concept of liking myself. A negative self-image has popped up a few time today.
Last night I went out blues dancing. I was supposed to meet a friend there but he never showed up. It was still a lot of fun and I am getting a much more comfortable with just enjoying the moment rather than focusing on impressing the girls. Blues dancing is so much fun! When I first started it, I felt so dirty dancing with women that way. Now, I feel comfortable and it is really amazing. I got a few of the older ladies giving me the little waves goodbye as they left. It was really funny. Who knew all these cougars were on the prowl?!?
I was asked to dance by women most of the night and many commented how good of a dancer I was. It is almost laughable to me because I did absolutely nothing special dance wise. I know a few fancy moves in west coast swing that I could have used but I didn't do anything other than basic blues moves and I got more comments last night then any other night. It was because I was completely in the moment dancing and enjoying the music.
I'm planning on going salsa dancing tonight with my friends from class. I'll let you guys know if anything happens.
Day 17 of stage 4: Went out last night salsa dancing. It was so much fun! I did a lot of people watching and got a little tipsy. Girls kept making me sip their drinks and it doesn't take a whole bunch before it effects me. One girl that I asked to dance told me no. I could see her checking back through the night to see if it effected me but nothing.
It is so amazing to be content in yourself and just enjoy the people you are with. My neediness has really dropped a bunch. In fact, I can see it more and more in other people now. There was a girl there that kept wanting my attention and I made her work to keep it. It wasn't some sort of plan to get the girl. It was me just enjoying the time and not really caring about "getting the girl".
There was another girl there. A blonde with a great body and skimpy dress. The guys were dancing all provocative with her all night and then when she got up to leave, by herself, I could see the defeated looks on their faces. She gave them all hugs and me a quick smile and wave and left. I was like, see ya!
One of the girls got really drunk and that ended the night (and it was about 4 am anyways). The guys went to wait outside for the girls and my friend made a comment about how there were five guys outside an no girls. I saw a group of five girls trying to get into a cab and I told my friend to open them. He was pretty drunk so he did and failed miserably. It was really funny and when he came back, I asked him, did you open them in Spanish? It was hilarious!
The girls finally came out and I said my goodbyes as I was headed in the opposite direction. The girl that had been fighting for my attention all night kissed me on both of my cheeks and we went our separate ways.
Man that's a really good way to expand your horizons, with salsa dancing that can be a whole new skill to get good at and women will love it. You getting out and doing these things is definitely what is incorporated in being an alpha.
Thanks
Fonzy
Thanks Fonzy. I feel like dancing gives me a social activity that I can really enjoy. Last night I was talking to a lady while I was dancing and she asked me why I got into dancing. I hadn't really thought about it much but then it hit me. Dancing incorporates two of the things I love most, women and music.
Day 21 of stage 4: Today I went out with a female friend to walk the streets of New York. We had a good time and I really enjoyed the moments. One of the things that I learned about myself on the way home from this day was that I'm really trying to prove to myself that the subliminals are working. I see the changes in my thoughts. I see the changes in other people's reactions to me. The funny thing is that this isn't good enough for me. The reason its not good enough is because I want to quantify my improvement. What can I do now that I couldn't do before? Am I sleeping with more women? Kissing more women? I feel the desire to quantify my results as a source of validation. Its like I want to prove to myself and everyone that it is working.
The other thought that struck me was how consciously I know getting a great woman in my life isn't going to solve my problems, but, I still feel like its true. They always say that you have to be happy with yourself before you can find happiness with another. Its like I know conceptually that its true but my beliefs tell me otherwise.
I'm more than halfway through AM5 and I've seen some pretty amazing result so far. There is still a lot of work left but I can see it starting to come together. I have decided to stop trying to quantify my results into some sort of number representation of achievement. For me, that would be some slept or kiss so many girls and instead focus on the man I'm becoming. Those types of results are better left for something like SM instead.
Day 22 of stage 4: I've noticed a lot of respect from people recently. People at work holding doors open for me. My friends are asking for my opinions on different things. This girl who goes to salsa class with me kept asking for my opinion on small things last night. She was like "What do you think about moving to this other area where there is more light and more space?" I asked her if she was going to move over there? She told me she was thinking about it. The funny thing was that I liked the spot we were at so I stayed and she stayed there with me.
I have also noticed just being happier in general for no reason. Its really cool to walk around and feel good about yourself and life in general. It is dawning on me that you don't have to have external things to be happy. Its a feeling that you can generate internally.
(09-21-2013, 05:58 PM)InTheZone Wrote: [ -> ]Thanks Fonzy. I feel like dancing gives me a social activity that I can really enjoy. Last night I was talking to a lady while I was dancing and she asked me why I got into dancing. I hadn't really thought about it much but then it hit me. Dancing incorporates two of the things I love most, women and music.
Day 21 of stage 4: Today I went out with a female friend to walk the streets of New York. We had a good time and I really enjoyed the moments. One of the things that I learned about myself on the way home from this day was that I'm really trying to prove to myself that the subliminals are working. I see the changes in my thoughts. I see the changes in other people's reactions to me. The funny thing is that this isn't good enough for me. The reason its not good enough is because I want to quantify my improvement. What can I do now that I couldn't do before? Am I sleeping with more women? Kissing more women? I feel the desire to quantify my results as a source of validation. Its like I want to prove to myself and everyone that it is working.
The other thought that struck me was how consciously I know getting a great woman in my life isn't going to solve my problems, but, I still feel like its true. They always say that you have to be happy with yourself before you can find happiness with another. Its like I know conceptually that its true but my beliefs tell me otherwise.
I'm more than halfway through AM5 and I've seen some pretty amazing result so far. There is still a lot of work left but I can see it starting to come together. I have decided to stop trying to quantify my results into some sort of number representation of achievement. For me, that would be some slept or kiss so many girls and instead focus on the man I'm becoming. Those types of results are better left for something like SM instead.
Hey man, I like giving compliments and it sounds like you are genuinely happy about those lessons which is great.
Everyones different but I can say from personal experience that in life you always continue to want more. You just gotta find what makes you happy and stick to it. I think if I were to use AM my results would be similar to what you're going through. Even when I think I have everything there are still voices out there motivating me to do more. But I move my way. The richest people in the world understand how to make money, but they might not necessarily have happiness or love, and the happiest people could love themselves so much but they don't have any skills to make a buck. The best you can do is find the things around you that you like and are passionate about and give yourself to them so that your life moves forward. Go after everything you find interesting and make a reality you love for yourself. You don't need to have slept with ten women this time around to know that AM worked. But if that is your intention, work on it. And we'll be here to support you along the way. You got the right idea, you'll soon realize that it's not sleeping with ten girls that's impressive, but it's sleeping with one girl ten times or two girls five times that is cool or whatever else you want because you choose it to be and that's the real interesting part.
Thanks
Fonzy
Thanks for the motivation Fonzy! Day 2 of stage 5: Stage 4 really showed me that I'm a pretty cool guy and that women are lucky to be around me. I have really started focusing on the more positive aspects of my life. The further I get into this program, the more inspired I am to keep going. My usage time has gone up quite a bit recently. I see the man that I'm becoming and am focused on reaching that goal. I checked the forum recently just to see what the usage recommendation is and found Shannon recommend up to 21 hours a day. I haven't made it there yet but I averaged 12 hours during stage 4 and my usage on stage 5 is closer to 16 hours per day.
I went last weekend to a wedding of a friend. My hope was to do some dancing since I would miss out on my normal routine. It amazed me how nobody was dancing! Eventually we got a dancing going for a few songs but it struck me how self conscious people are about dancing. I was the same way. Now I enjoy dancing and don't really care what people think.
The wedding should have scared the crap out of me because I didn't really know anyone there but, I saw it as an opportunity to grow. I made friends with a lesbian couple and another single guy. We spent the whole night talking and having fun. People were trying to impress me most of the night. I must put out the vibe that says, "I'm not impressed so impress me!" I'm excited to see what stage 5 has in store for me!
(10-02-2013, 04:46 PM)InTheZone Wrote: [ -> ]People were trying to impress me most of the night. I must put out the vibe that says, "I'm not impressed so impress me!" I'm excited to see what stage 5 has in store for me!
When people try to impress you, it is because they feel the need to validate themself with an alpha male like you, just compliment them and they will love you !
