I would like to see a sub that would help me to switch from an introvert to an extrovert(i think most guys/girls) would love to see this sub.I think being introverted is a disease and i still haven't been able to break out of it.When i say switch i don't mean switch overnight but definetely move from introvert and lean toward an extrovert person.
Maybe there could be a sub that should focus on this.Just my 2 cents.I would like to see a few respones to this question.Cheers.
Being an introvert is hardly a disease, but I can definitely say from first hand experience that it's not always enjoyable. I'll put this on the chopping block for later.
WOW...
That is a HORRIBLE way to think of being an introvert! But in that I see more of my progress, because I now see being an introvert a GIFT! (This doesn't mean I can't be social when I don't want to by the way.)
I wouldn't have learnt half the stuff I know, I wouldn't be able to dedicate so much time to my business, working by myself, studying valuable material if I was a full on extrovert. I wouldn't have ended up questioning things like I have and wouldn't be where I am now.
I'd probably still be out there in a 'normal job' I hate because I simply wouldn't have had the patience and desire to study what I have studied or to make the internal changes i've made.
Maybe you can turn it into a gift here too by becoming comfortable with it and seeing the value in it as I have.
-Ben
Two sides of the same coin
(02-05-2013, 04:19 PM)Benjamin Wrote: [ -> ]WOW...
That is a HORRIBLE way to think of being an introvert! But in that I see more of my progress, because I now see being an introvert a GIFT! (This doesn't mean I can't be social when I don't want to by the way.)
I wouldn't have learnt half the stuff I know, I wouldn't be able to dedicate so much time to my business, working by myself, studying valuable material if I was a full on extrovert. I wouldn't have ended up questioning things like I have and wouldn't be where I am now.
Sorry if i offended you or anyone but i just see it that way.Most introvert folks have some form of social anxiety disorder or lower forms of autism.
I would love to have a nice conversion of toughts to words and not think "should i say this or should i say that or what should i say at all".Incovinient silence is the worst,it eats me alive.I tried being more communicative multiple times but everytime i tried talking a lot and hanging with folks it drained me! I start having a tiredness in middle of my chest like my soul is hurting.
There is a reason why most people never really change.Sure being an introvert has great benefits(most introvert folks are very artistic/creative/into out of box stuff etc..) but i just wish talking with people wouldn't be such a pain and that i could talk a lot/be around people without being drained.
I can see the point of everyone here.
Being introverted have it's merits, but sometimes it may feel like a curse. Been there, felt that.
But the same goes for being all extroverted. Intro and extro are the means to where their reference is taken. Although external influence affects the self image of introverted people, the main focus of their reference is themselves. On other hand extroverted people focus on outside reference to create their self-image. If an extroverted person have a healthy environment, it's all good, while a bad environment can be very destructive to them.
Although negative enviroments affects introverted people as much, introverts may resist better, and depending on their self-image, it may even be motivational (like when you want to prove these negative people you can do what they say you can't).
But the label of introverted don't mean you'll be introverted all the time. It's your tendency, or where you usually looks for references to create your self-image.
With that said, I believe the problem is not by being introverted or extroverted. The issue seems to be at your self-image. The struggle you seem to be having when talking to others may be caused by you seeing yourself as not interesting enough for yourself, if so, how others can find you interesting? And thus working hard to present yourself as interesting, draining you.
Indeed there are reasons for most people to never change. People get depressed when compare thenselves for the ideal society bombards us with. Some may see light years of distance between their image and the ideal person and be disencouraged to go after it. Like being unfit to this world. And the same society keeps telling us that diversity is a good thing.
So it all comes to adaptability. You can be introverted and be extroverted when needed, but to do so, you need to feel confident in yourself.
You haven't offended me, i'm just trying to point out the extreme limiting beliefs and baggage you have around this.
Your 'most introverts have..' statement is not true at all, except in your reality. I have had all of those issues myself and I don't have much of a problem anymore. I have no problem sitting in my house for a few weeks working by myself and then going out to socialize when I want to.
Like last night I went and had tea for a friends birthday, had fun even though I wasn't the crazy life of the party and I also got the waitresses number.
It's not only possible for extroverts!
Also think about what Shannon has reported, I believe he is an introvert but is able to go out and socialize confidently.
-Ben
(02-06-2013, 06:37 PM)Benjamin Wrote: [ -> ]You haven't offended me, i'm just trying to point out the extreme limiting beliefs and baggage you have around this.
Your 'most introverts have..' statement is not true at all, except in your reality. I have had all of those issues myself and I don't have much of a problem anymore. I have no problem sitting in my house for a few weeks working by myself and then going out to socialize when I want to.
Like last night I went and had tea for a friends birthday, had fun even though I wasn't the crazy life of the party and I also got the waitresses number.
It's not only possible for extroverts!
Also think about what Shannon has reported, I believe he is an introvert but is able to go out and socialize confidently.
-Ben
Well i don't honestly think i would become a completely new person if i became an extrovert.
I would still be able to do the things i like but talking and blending with people wouldn't be such a pain.So i would become a much better person if i could become more socially open,more talkative,more confident etc...
Our society doesn't value introvercy but during grade school,highschool,college and things beside those, literally nobody liked someone who is introvert.Nobody! So it's not about society it's reality.That hurt me, as i got older i realise how much of an outsider i always was.I had problems with girl cause i had to find introvert or normal girls, so extrovert girls were always out of the question for me.They would suck the life out of me with all the talk.Plus i had to talk back a lot so it was like a boxing match where you are in round 10 without gass waiting to get knocked out.I had one girlfriend who was ectrovert, it was huge pain for me.Never again unless i improve.
Introvert = More introspective - Solitude is what recharges them
Extrovert = Less introspective - Being out and about recharges them
All the greats of the world regardless of race or astrology have been more introverted. Theres nothing wrong with it. You're never going to be able to change how you recharge yourself regardless of how social or unsociable you are.
We all have to aim to be more versatile in our environments. Condemning our own personality traits isnt really constructive. Integrating our qualities into being better people as well as acquiring others to come across better socially is the ultimate goal.
My 2 cents
Subeternal i understand but i don't want to be the next Nikola Tesla or Einstein.I've been like this since i remember(age 5) so i know i want to change.This is not me! The real me is when i drink alchocol, that is the real me.So yeah the shell is hard but i believe is breakable that's why i would like to see these sub.
I'm into a lot of stuff with one of them being writing so becoming more talkative,open,relaxed and not get drained would help me even in writing.Communication is a way of getting information, and information=power.I love the stuff i'm interested in and i would never shy away from them.
(02-09-2013, 03:41 AM)Creative Wrote: [ -> ]"The real me is when i drink alchocol"
I find that statement so sad. Deep down, in the core of your soul, you're a drunk. Damn.
Lol just playing with you man
Well i must say i went overboard on here and i have to admit that i was Wrong.
I have become much more talkative over the last period , i believe my problem was simply confidence.I don't know what happened, it's like i'm coming out of my shell rapidly and basically i can talk more and more everyday.I don't know what is happening to me, i have so much to say it's being processed so i end up speaking very fast.It was like yesterday when i wrote this and now everything is changin, if this keeps up i won't even need confidence subs for more than few months.Reading so many books and material(i don't brag) gave me so much material i can manipulate conversatoins in certain ways i want.WTF? I was shyest kid in gradeschool and highschool and among the shyest in college!! I hope this keeps up.I feel poweful, like this is the REAL me for the first time in my life.
Still i will see if i can keep this up or it's just a phase, confidence subs are something i planned for the end of this year so till then i will know.
p.s. shannon there is no need for this sub.