Hey buddies.
Running AM 1st stage since new year (so, it's a little more than halfway) and seems I was really needing it.
Today I had one very strange dream. At this dream, I was at my brother car, seating at the passenger's seat. When we arrived at my home, I was going to open the car door and noticed some small roaches on it. I opened it and tried to drop them so i could crush them at the floor. That's when I turned to my brother to ask him how so many roaches got in the car and noticed that the seat I was on had more of them.
Looked around the car and noticed not only the passenger's seat were crawling with them, but almost the entire interior of the car had them. The only place they didn't touch was the driver's seat.
So I ran inside home to get an inseticide, since I didn't want to have to crush them inside the car and when I got back, they were all gone and my brother was looking at me with an expression like he was saying: "wtf was that?".
And that was obviously while sleeping with AM playing beside my bed.
So, in this dream, I believe, it's my subconscious trying to tell me there are lots of filthy stuff in my way and the only way to not be bothered by them is to be in the driver's seat, or taking the steering wheel of my life.
Aside from that dream, I noticed that I feel a little tired overall. Hadn't much chance or will to go out socialize, but when I went to do some chores, like going to the supermarket, I felt some alpha/beta swings like this:
http://youtu.be/iJ2rgTiKF2w
Walking like I own the place, with very relaxed posture, feeling confident. Then I notice some beta peaks, like feeling uncomfortable for no reason in particular. I associate the roaches of my dream to the beta behaviour. Most of the times you don't see them, but when you do, you wonder how the heck they managed to get there and it's enough to make you uncomfortable.
Also, got a kynesiology tool to test some stuff, just like dowsing. And I got at my tests that this stage in particular will be the one which will give me the best results of the whole set. The entire set will help me a lot, but this one will be the one that does the major work.
Based on the number of roaches in my dream, I have an idea of why, since saw somewhere that stage 1 is the clearing stage.
Roach dreams are always fun.
I recommend diatomaceous earth dreams. They kill roach dreams.
lol. Laughed hard on that one.
Starting the day with a good laugh is indeed priceless. Thanks for that Shannon.
Starting stage 2 now.
At last days of AM, I felt what some described as "draining gazes" from people. It creates an uncomfortable feeling. But not like you were afraid of being judged, but like "hey, you should be looking to what you're doing."
If I could sum stage 1 in just one word, it would be "liberating". I noticed myself being more playful, deserving (and receiving) more respect from others and expressing myself better. Feeling like I was exorcised from that damn roaches.
About stage 2, I have a notion of what it may look like. On the first night using it, I had a strange dream where I was back at my earlier teens and I was going to a school. A haunted school. People killing themselves, bodies flying through the window and that kind of thing happening and in the middle of it was me, with a feeling that whathever was causing that, it couldn't touch me. And the feeling of sadness because my friends were estrangling from me and there were nothing I could do.
Oh, but there were a cute girl who out of the blue asked me to check a photoalbum of hers. As I was checking it, she was telling about her life. Then on the last photos of the album there wer some artistic nude pics of her.
Lol. One in particular were very creative. The photo was called "midnight at the valley" and it was a photo of her ass through a round lens. Her ass was on the top of the photo, in a way that the crevasse between her cheeks indeed looked like the hands of a clock pointing to midnight.
Lol. Even on haunted grouds I was having fun... Shame on me lol
Well. at middle of stage 2 now.
What I noticed so far is that I am feeling more confident and people want to be near me, specially insecure people. When in conversation in groups, they tend to center it on me and ask me my opinions.
It's kinda unconfortable, since I'm not the talking type of guy, at least until now. We'll see in the end of AM if this changes.
About girls, I went with some good friends to a small town to enjoy Brazilian's carnival. Not that usual carnival that you see at tv, but more like street parties. There I had great fun. I was expecting to find a girl or two to have sex, but seems my standards were a bit too high for that people. Couldn't find anyone I would be interested. And that didn't bother me. I still had great fun with my buddies. Only times I threw some pick up lines were when one of my friend tried to pick up on couples of girls, just to try to help him out. It wasn't going well to him, so we ended walking away after a few words. Although, I think he could score if he were a little more persistant.
When we got back, this buddy told me he was feeling lonely, a feeling that I knew too well from past times. Me, on other hand, was feeling very confortable with the fact that I didn't score, and even the failed pick ups I attempted were reasons to laugh now.
The girls that went with us on this trip, though, were showing more about the results of AM so far. The one who family's owns the house we stood was very concerned of my well being. It was odd, because enven her boyfriend wasn't getting so much attention. The other girl, which is single, while we were going, kept talking about stuff like what she wants on a man, how she ended with past boyfriends, and stuff that made me though she was a very confident girl. But as the time passed on, I started noticing that she started acting with some insecurity near me. The fact that she drank a little too much and threw up, making me be the gentleman I am to take her back to the house so she could rest might have helped that.
She was avoiding looking me in the eye, although she were trying to get my attention by trying to be funny. Like I was too hot for her, but she was hoping something would happen. On the road, going back to the city, she again kept talking about her search for a good man. She was very funny at that, but it kinda sounded to me like she was yelling: "Hey, I'm avaiable! Pick me!".
While she was talking, ideas on moves I could do to get her kept coming at my head, but for some reason I didn't pull them.
Looks like I'm still having some beta moments still.
Anyway, all this stuff brought me a question. Since on these 4 days we were there, we drank a lot, would it be advisable to count them as skipped days? I tried to listen to the sub the most I could, but also, most of the time I was kind of altered by the alcohol. What you guys say?
I don't think drinking alcohol will be enough to make you have to add more days as long as you actually got a decent amount of listening time in. How many hours per day do you think you got?
That's an interesting question. I would say that unless you were dead to the world passed out cold drunk off your ass the whole time, you probably don't need to worry about exposure loss, or maybe add an hour or two per day. Then again, if you were, you need to worry about alcohol poisoning, not exposure time.
Thanks Roaring Lion and Shannon.
On these days I got a less than usual. Like something around 6 hour per day.
To compensate that, I increased the time from around 10 to the full 15~16 hours/day on the past days.
Hahaha good one! Well, so I don't have to worry, as long as I can be sane enough to remember to use the subs.
Well, another crazy dream.
This time, I dreamt that I was having strong pains in my chest area. My brother's gf, who is a nurse, said that it could be the start of heart failures, so I went to the hospital and made an appointment with a cardio.
After leaving the hospital, I got a bus with lots of people from my high school times. The bus passed around near some hotels and some guys yelled that at every hotel we passed near, I took a different girl there. Like I was some kind of sex god.
When we got back to the school, I went to a class and was the center of attention and attraction. Girls were practically drooling for me and one of my buddies, a skinny version of Brad Pitt, was jealous of it. Even the female teachers were somehow saying: have sex with me and you'll pass with flying grades.
After the classes, I went back to the hospital and the doctor said there were nothing wrong with my heart. Just the opposite. It was stronger and working better than the average. He even threw a joke saying maybe the pains were caused by a broken heart. Which he said it was hard to believe, because of how many girls were interested.
What I get from it: Maybe I'm sleeping too much.
Ok. Stage 2 is down.
First day on stage 3.
I'll try to sum up all that I noticed on stage 2. It's no easy task, since unlike the stage 1, that were clearly cleaning the garbage, stage 2 went smooth, with no highs, nor lows. I was expecting something more intense, similar to what I felt when doing stage 1.
But then saw a post Shannon made on what to expect on each stage, and found myself inclined to include me on the people that doesn't notice much on stage 2. That or that naturalizer stuff is working too damn well.
Or maybe there weren't too much garbage, but lots of empty room for new stuff?
We'll see.
On other hand, since Shannon said that stage 2 was designed to react to people's BS, I am glad to notice that people around me don't BS me. Been a while since I last felt anger. Been feeling calmer and with good humour since starting AM.
It's been about the same for me so far, today is my 13th day of AM stage 2. I'm focusing on my goals and being successful, also noticing the good humor part and a good positive outlook on life, even though I was positive beforehand, now I am even more so.
Oh. Seems the BS kicker is kicking in.
Received the reply from my mentor at my post-graduation and she is such a perfeccionist that everything I send her needs to be reworked. Although I try my best to make a good monography, she always sees something that needs a refinement or rework.
Lost the count on how many days I've been locked in my room working on this stuff, just to satisfy her haughtyness. So, it's another beautiful sunday I have to lock myself here and do this stuff.
On other hand, since it's a paper to get my post-graduation certificate, and she have a master's degree and is working on her doctor's degree, she knows what needs to be done to the paper be accepted and maybe help future students on their post-graduation works. But she is leveling this work to take an specialist degree to one of a doctor's degree.
Time is running out, but if I manage to get it in the level of a doctor's degree, it may be easier in future pursuits of another degree in my carrer.
Well, back to work.
I noticed monkey and a pink cat in the dreams. I was stopping the monkey from coming in the house and the pink cat was just running her and there.
(03-10-2013, 10:40 PM)Astrack Wrote: [ -> ]I noticed monkey and a pink cat in the dreams. I was stopping the monkey from coming in the house and the pink cat was just running her and there.
