It's my 31'st day on Stage 2. So far I like how this stage feels. The feeling of being compelled to do the things that I sometimes feel ashamed of doing in certain situations like standing up for myself or simply becoming assertive has become much stronger. I now feel as if there's this ball of energy in my solar plexus that just wants to go out(feels like I want to vomit or sumthin). I haven't felt this stuff before, or maybe I didnt get to notice it. Anyway if I resist doing what I feel needs to be done in that situation, I feel that I would really wanna throw up so I just do it/ say it. It gives you that extra push when you feel like backing out. Nice... I've been pretty laid-back lately just keeping it cool. Don't feel the need to fuss about things not worth my time. Although when I know that something needs to be done, I do it right away. I'm becoming quite productive these days. Becoming more careful in how I allot my time to certain activities. I now enjoy socializing and I'm learning to love it more each day. Although sometimes I believe people become somewhat intimidated of my presence. Body language has definitely improved. I feel that every week it's being fine tuned, like there's something new but I couldn't put my finger on it. Have seen a glimpse of eye seduction and increased flirting being integrated in a rather seemless way. I don't have to think about it, I feel its as if its quite natural for me now.
Had some feats of anger yesterday. Was just frustrated with just about everything and anything. At around late in the afternoon I felt like there were a ton of things going on inside my head. It felt like many things were being processed sorted, deleted, stored... You guys get the picture.
Felt really drained yesterday. Today is a better day than yesterday. Somehow I feel I'm a lot clearer today. Nothing going on inside my head.. maybe nothing as of now.
Just checked out Shannon's post regarding Positive Attitude and Positive thinking. Just wanted to let you know that I'm absolutely thrilled about your conversion of PAPT to 4G! Hope you could add more excellent scripts to the sub! Deffo gonna be using it after doing AM!
I added a little bit to it, but I didn't go crazy.
@ Shannon - I believe it would be a no-brainer for you considering you've made scripts far more complex than that sub
Nwei it's day 11 on stage 3. A few days ago I experienced heaps gratitude for everything in my life. I was also thankful for all the women that made my life a lot more fun and exciting including my recent ex. I am currently feeling the shift in my presence partly due to how the people around me are acting. A sales lady, staring with puppy eyes, actually verbalized a very big "WOW". Before, scenes like those made me slightly to moderately self conscious. Now it just cracks me up inside. I feel I am becoming ridiculously attractive, but this time I believe that I am naturally attractive and I give myself permission to be naturally attractive. I don't question myself anymore. Its more of a calm confidence deep within me, that I know I am the sh*t. I also observed that I am becoming more conscious of what I eat and my motivation to exercise has returned.
P.S. I finally got my dream job as a paramedic. During the interview, my body language was great and I was absolutely calm. If I didn't do alpha male, I wouldn't have gotten the position considering there are a lot more qualified candidates in line. I would've been stuck in my old beta behavior of overthinking, fidgeting etc.. Maybe I could buy BAMM after all
More complex scripts are not always necessary.
Congrats on landing the job.
Congrats on the job SexyMofo!
Could you clear something up for me? Is this your 2nd or 3rd time running AM? I was reading thru your earlier journal and it seemed like the first time you ran AM 2010 you used too many other subs with it. So you then proceeded to do it again without any additions. So technically this AM 5 run-through would be your third one? I'm curious as you seem to be getting some amazing results.
@ Shannon - thanks man. I haven't started cause I have to process my papers, but it's coming. I'll be able to buy BAMM soon.
@ Hank - thanks bro. come to think of it, you're right! I didn't really count the first run through as a viable basis for improvement cause it basically gave me a very haphazard result to which I still couldn't comprehend until this day. lol It was like I wanted to do everything, but I couldnt stick to something kinda feeling. But yes, its my 3rd run though technically speaking. My second run through gave me results, but it was still somewhat unstable. At times I felt it, at times I didn't feel it. More of how other guys in the forum felt during their first run through.
Going on with my update:
Last night I had one of my weirdest dreams. It involved running with only my underwear on. We were called to report to the main base for an emergency meeting. My shift mates were all in firefighter suits and I was the only one with briefs on. While running and covering my undies, I asked my friend beside me where did the other suits go cause I wasn't able to find any and Imma gonna be f*cked up once the chief sees me. He then replied "Why do you want to cover yourself? It's okay". In my mind I was screaming @@#$#%$@! afterwhich my dream ended. Thanks to this dream I had a good chuckle early in the morning. lol
It just occured to me that we have another mysterymagick on our hands lol
I have recently had the urge to do something productive but somehow felt sluggish which leads me to not doing anything at all, except for exercising. I somehow feel motivated at the same time lazy. Frustrated yet not giving a damn. Feeling very laid back these days. Stuff's all jumbled up. Guess resistance has set in.
Can't resist posting now. I am on a very very huge heap of euphoria, its like all this energy building within me, which I feel needs to be vented out or I'll explode! It has been building for quite some time now but today it just had to overflow! Its a feeling that I can do whatever I choose to and succeed at achieving it! I was already hopeful for the future but now it has amped it up even more! I love what Stage 3 is doing to me right now!
I'm currently on my 3rd day of Stage 4. Feelings of overwhelming Gratitude and Euphoria have evened out. Been very indifferent to almost everything and very sluggish. It seems like in order to get myself motivated I would have to have to push and push and push myself to work. It hasn't been easy these days but its a lot better compared to the resistance that I previously encountered. Seems the theme for this runthrough would be focused on my motivation and procrastination/ Looking forward to how I will be able to solve this challenge.
I've been reminiscing the memories when I started my journey to self improvement. I really felt powerless before. Like everything was "out of my control" and everything was pretty much limited in every way. I was always looking for that one magic pill that could make everything go better.
Now, I don't even give a damn about having that magic pill because I now know that deep inside of me I have infinite potential. Stage 4 has been great lately. I still get irritated with people's bull but its more fine tuned. I find myself more and more not giving a damn about what other people would think of me and of my actions. It's like a feeling of invincibility and it has become more grounded than ever before.
It has been a while since I last had the urge to post. Things have been very good lately. Nothing much to report. It's like I'm sailing through calm waters. I haven't led myself to a high nor brought myself to a low point. Feeling much balanced these days. Irritation has been more fine-tuned to a point I divert my attention to something else. Am now looking forward to succeed in this life more than ever. I have been contemplating on becoming a multimillionaire more and more each day through which I would be able to improve the quality of life of other people. these are just some of my thoughts...
A question to Shannon:
I am very much in need of a big capital for investment. I really have no idea where to get it. What sub should I use in order for me to be able to raise the capital asap?