Stage 5 Summary:
• First night of AM Stage 5 I dreamt about cockroaches, in my dream I was lying on my bed, and my room and my bed is full of cockroaches, pretty scary and freaky dream. I get weird dreams all the time when I’m listening to subs, so I don’t really care about it that much, but this one sticks in my mind, since I’m pretty much have a phobia of cockroaches, in other journal someone else also mentioned dreaming of cockroaches, weird coincidence. Maybe AM is somehow tackling some of my fears, can’t imagine what it will be like running OF or OGSF, the dreams would be even scarier and freakier probably.
• Second night of AM Stage 5, I dreamt about my house getting attacked by angry mobs, they’re throwing stones at my house, and trying to cause as much damage as possible, wow! What’s going on with all these scary dreams?
• The irritation is truly intense with this stage, especially when being disrespected. Having a hard time to hold back. First 2 weeks of Stage 5, I had bit of a fight here and there, had a fight with the General Manager of Sales & Marketing in my company (he was running away from his responsibility as a leader, and disrespecting me), had a fight with my new girlfriend (she was prioritizing her friends over me, and breaking some of planned schedule with me), and with a car salesperson (trying to fool me with marketing tricks and wasting my time).
• This stage has made me become way bolder, I say what I want to say especially in the office, before this stage I held back more, but now my confidence has definitely boosted up.
• Had another fight with a fellow staff member in the company I’m working at, he was trying to steer/manipulate me so he could do some underhanded deals with some of our vendors, he tried to give me order so that I’ll stay out of his way, this treatment from him created this massive burst of anger and I snapped at him instantly, and this puts him in his place never to try that again. He backed down and submitted, he tried to be overly nice to me after that. This stage is like a turning point for me, before stage 5 I was still held back, but the longer I go on this stage it’s very hard for me not to snap and say what’s on my mind the moment when I feel like being stepped on.
• My status in my office is increasing, I gained more respect all-around, people realized I can’t be steered and pushed around, my superior trusted me and rely on me more.
• One night I went out with my girlfriend and her friends, and her friends started to throw themselves at me, I get surrounded by girls wanting to hug and kiss me, even though they’re just playing around, but it got her pretty upset, LOL!
• I just recently realized that nowadays when cute girls walk pass by I will try to lock gaze with them, and also I’ve been flirting a lot more, now that I think about it, I must be wanting to test out my charm unconsciously, and seeing what kind of response will I get.
• Increase desire to flirt with girls, definitely more daring to state what I want from them. Girls that I know from the past have been contacting me again.
• This stage is my favorite stage of all that I’ve done up to this point in time, I still have procrastination, guilt, shame, and fear holding me back at times, it would be great if the next version AM would focus and crush these problems for good. A few runs of AM 5.0 with OGSF and OP would complete my training and transformation in becoming an Alpha Leader.
• The last week of Stage 5 I hit some patches of resistance, my confidence went down, neediness went up, feeling sad, and the weak pathetic feeling was creeping back up again. But I'm not worried, I'm sure the next and final stage will be awesome.
Next Tuesday I will begin Stage 6.
